This is session #2 with PL, a 25-year-old female who suffers from PTSD after surviving an extremely traumatic incident.
โHi, Dr. Hale.โ
โYou look pale today. Pleaseโฆ sit down.โ
โIโm okay. I justโฆ I havenโt been sleeping well.โ
โYou mentioned the nightmares during your first visit.โ
โYes. Like Iโm reliving it. Like itโs happening all over again.โ
โI know you had a lot of trouble talking about it at your first visit, but if you feel more comfortable with me this time, it would help me so much to hear what happened that night in your own words.โ
โItโs so hard to talk about it. Itโs easier to talk aboutโฆ other things.โ
โBut Iโm here to help you. I canโt help you if I donโt know what you went through.โ
โYes. Yes, I understand, butโฆโ
โPlease try. You can take your time. Weโve got the entire session ahead of us.โ
โIt was justโฆ it was the worst night of my life, Dr. Hale. I lost everything.โ
โJust start from the beginning.โ
โWell, Iโฆ I mean,ย weโฆ we rented the cabin for the weekend, and we were so looking forward to it. We were having such a good time, even though it ended up raining all weekend. We hung out, roasted marshmallows in the fireplaceโฆโ
โAnd thenโฆ?โ
โIt happened after Cody and I had already gone to sleep. Megan and Alexis had gone off to their own rooms. I was sound asleepโฆ the fresh air always makes me so tired, and we had a few drinksโฆ And then I woke up to screamingโฆโ
โYesโฆ?โ
โIt was Cody. He was screaming next to me in bed, andโฆ and there was blood all over his chest. I woke up and a man was standing over him, holding a knife. It was hard to see because it was raining out and the sky was so darkโฆ I couldnโt make out his face, but I could see his wet hair plastered to his skull. And I couldย smellย him. He had that wet dog smell, but also something else. Something rotten.โ
โThat sounds terrible.โ
โI wake up sometimes during the night and I still smell it. I smell it everywhere in my room. That awful, rotten smellโฆ oh Godโฆโ
โItโs okay. Itโs okay to cry. This is a safe space.โ โI justโฆ I canโtโฆโ
โPlease take a tissue.โ
โItโs not fair! Cody and I were supposed to get married next week. We were going on our honeymoon to Bermuda. I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with him, and nowโฆ now heโs buried in a coffin under the ground. Whenever I think about itโฆโ
โItโs okay. Itโs going to be okay.โ
โHow?ย Howย is it going to be okay, Dr. Hale? The man I was going to marry isย dead. My two best friends areย dead. My mother always used to say, if there was a nut job within fifty miles, they would find me. And that night, he found me. Iโve got a scar on my belly to remember him by forever.โ
โIt wasnโt your fault though.โ
โItโs not fair that theyโre all gone, and Iโm still here. I should be dead too.โ
โDonโt say that.โ
โItโs true, Dr. Hale. Thatโs what the doctor told me at the hospital. I could have died.โ
โBut you didnโt. You survived. Youโre a survivor. You could have bled to death in that cabin, but you ran through the rain and mud and you flagged down a car to help you. Thatโs why youโre alive.โ
โI donโt feel like a survivor. I feel likeโฆ like a mess. I canโt sleep. I canโt even hold down a job.โ
โThatโs what youโre here for. To get better. This is just the beginning.โ
โIf they had caught him, I could move on. But every time I close my eyes, I imagine heโs at my window. Watching me sleep.โ
โThe key word is โimagine.โ Heโs not really there.โ
โYou donโt know that! After all, Iโm the only one who can identify him. Iโm sure he wants me dead.โ
โYou canโt think that way. Youโre safe now. If he were going to find you, he wouldโve done it already. This is an impulsive man.โ
โIโm going to lose my mind, Dr. Hale. Itโs all I can think about. Every time I get into my car, I feel like heโs following me. As I was driving here, I was sure he was in the car behind me.โ
โBut you know thatโs all in your head.โ
โI donโt know that. You donโt know that. For all you know, heย didย follow me here. Maybe heโs waiting outside right now. Maybe the second I open the door to your house, heโs going to kill us both.โ
โDo you know how unlikely that is?โ โIโฆโ
โListen to me. You cannot let this psychopath control your life. You are here to get better. Your family cares about you and thatโs why they sent you here.โ
โBut Iโm not getting better.โ
โThis is just the beginning. Youโre going to get better.โ โDr. Haleโฆโ
โI promise you. You will get better.