Comment onย Aprilโs Sweet Secretsย YouTube video:
Hereโs a secret you donโt know about April Masterson: She dropped out of culinary school after four months.
Is this the person you want to be taking cooking lessons from?
This afternoon, Sean took Bobby and Owen to the park to practice soccer. Bobby was so excited about it. There was a part of me that was scared he was never going to want to play soccer again after the incident with Leo (who didย notย have a broken nose, by the way), but fortunately, the pep talk from Sean worked. He told me excitedly that he was going to get really good at soccer like Leo and Owen.
My latest video on making brownies went up this morning. Immediately, there was an onslaught of nasty comments. A lot of them just said my brownies looked gross, which they absolutely did not. But a few of them were more pointed.
Like the culinary school dropout one. I never told anybody about that. I used to have this idea in my head about being a chef, but as soon as I started culinary school, I realized it wasnโt for me. So I dropped out.
Itโs not something Iโm proud of. We always teach Bobby not to give up. And the commenter made a good point. Why should people take cooking lessons from a cooking school dropout?
Anyway, I deleted all the negative comments.
To take my mind off the whole thing, I went to visit Maria at Helenaโs. I figured it must get boring for her in the middle of the afternoon. Also, I had an ulterior motive: I wanted to use her discount. Thereโs a silk scarf that Iโve been admiring at the store for ages, but I just canโt justify how much it costs. Iโll never hear the end of it from Elliot. But with her discount, maybe it will be okay.
I feel intimidated the second I walk into Helenaโs, like I always do. Itโs strange because Maria herself is not intimidating. But this store is. Itโs bright and shiny, with handbags and scarves and shoes and perfumes on little shelves along the walls. The clothing is in the back, and Iโm scared to even look at the prices.
My YouTube channel is doing well. Itโs made me a minor local celebrity. But Iโm not making the sort of money from it where I could drop a couple of grand on clothing. Maybe someday, but not yet.
The store is nearly empty, as I predicted, and Maria is sitting quietly at the desk in the back. The door jingles as it closes, and I notice that a man is standing next to the door wearing a uniform. Heโs also built like a linebacker. Security. I guess they need it in a place like this.
โApril!โ Maria looks thrilled to see me. โWhat are you doing here?โ
โShopping.โ I join her at the desk and rest my purse on top of it. โAlso, I thought Iโd keep you company. The boys are playing soccer.โ
Maria beams. โI know! Itโs so cute.โ
โSean is so good with the boys.โ I try to keep the jealousy out of my voice. Her husband is not only really sexy, but heโs also a great dad. I definitely wouldnโt say that first part though. โIโm surprised you donโt have half a dozen kids.โ
โActually,โ she says quietly, โI canโt have kids.โ
I look at her in surprise. โDid something happen with Owenโs birth?โ
She hesitates a moment, then shakes her head. โIโm not Owenโs birth mother. His biological motherโฆ died several years ago. He doesnโt even remember her. I adopted him after Sean and I got married.โ
โOh.โ The questions swirl around my brain. I had no idea Maria wasnโt Owenโs biological mother. I wonder how Seanโs first wife died, but I canโt ask that. She mustโve been very young thoughโit was undoubtedly something tragic. โYou and Owen look alike.โ
She beams. โThanks. People say that a lot.โ She raises her eyebrows at me. โHow about you? Are you one and done?โ
I toy with the chain around my neck. โUm, not exactly.โ I havenโt talked to anyone around here about our fertility problems, but something about Maria makes me feel like I can open up to her. โElliot wants another baby, but no luck so far. Soโฆโ
โIโm sorry! Thatโs so frustrating. Have you done IVF?โ
โNo, nothing like that.โ God, I canโt even imagine being shot up with hormones. The thought of it makes me illโIโm afraid of needles. โBut weโre off birth-control andโฆ you know, crossing our fingers every month.โ Maria reaches out and pats my hand. โFor some people, it can take time. But Iโm sure it will happen! You had Bobby, after all. So everything
must be working all right.โ
โYes. Thatโs true.โ I sigh. โItโs just thatโฆ I know how badly Elliot wants another child. I feel likeโฆ Iโm letting him down.โ
โApril, donโt be silly!โ She reaches out and squeezes my hand in hers. Her palm is warm and dry. โIโm sure Elliot loves you no matter what. And worst comes to worst, there are tons of fertility treatments out there.โ
โYes, I knowโฆโ And now Iโm tearing up. โSorryโฆโ
โDonโt apologize!โ She squeezes my hand again. โDo you need a tissue?โ
โNo, Iโve got oneโฆโ
As I rummage around in my purse, looking for a tissue, I hear the jingling of the bell at the door to the store. A customer.
โDo you need to go help her?โ I ask.
She shakes her head. โLet her browse a bit first.โ
I turn to look at the girl who has entered the store. Sheโs maybe in her early twenties with white-blonde hair and puffy, sexy lips. She looks very familiar. I keep getting this feeling about peopleโthat they look familiar to me. It scares me a bit, considering my mother has early-onset Alzheimerโs. Am I losing my mind? Is this why I canโt remember anyone?
Oh God, that is not a thought I need to be having right now.
Sheโs looking at one of the Prada purses. She seems awfully young to be able to afford such a nice purse. I wonder if she has a sugar daddy looking out for her. She canโt possibly think she could shoplift with that big guy at the front.
And then it hits me who she is. โMaria!โ I hiss. โThat girlโฆโ
Maria frowns and leans in close to me. โYou know her?โ
โNo, butโฆโ I look back at the girl, just to be sure. Yes, Iโm sure. โDo you remember Carrie, from soccer practice?โ
She nods.
โThatโs the babysitter! Thatโs the one who stole her husband.โ
Mariaโs lips form an โoh.โ She cocks her head to the side. โPoor Carrie! I canโt even imagine how I would feel if some twenty-one-year-old babysitter stole Sean away from me.โ
โI knowโฆโ
I wonder if Maria gets jealous about Sean. He does seem incredibly loyal to her. But she must realize how attractive he is. And, if Iโm being completely honest, heโs far more attractive than she is. I wonder if she could have landed a guy like him if he wasnโt a single dad.
Then I feel guilty for those thoughts. Maria may not be beautiful, but sheโs a lovely person. Iโm sure Sean likes her for herย innerย beauty.
Maria chews on her lower lip, watching the babysitter browse the purses. โMaybe I should throw her out.โ
โAnd miss out on the huge commission? Please. You donโt want to have aย Pretty Womanย โBig mistakeโ moment, do you?โ
โI donโt care about that. Look at herโsheโs probably not going to buy anything anyway.โ She narrows her eyes. โBut itโs not enough, you know?โ
โWell, what else could we do?โ
A slow smile spreads across her face. โWatch this.โ
I watch the whole thing. Maria picks up a necklace from one of the displays, then she goes over to the babysitter, and sweetly asks if thereโs anything she needs. The babysitter shakes her head no. And as Maria walks away, she silently drops the necklace into the babysitterโs purse.
Then she returns to the desk, smiling like nothing happened. โOh my God,โ I breathe. โI canโt believe you just did that.โ โAnd itโs about to get better. Just watch.โ
Sheโs right. A minute later, the babysitter attempts to leave the store. The overhead alarm goes off like there was a break-in at the prison. The bodybuilder pops into action, stepping in front of the door to the store and grabbing the babysitter roughly by the arm.
โMiss,โ he says. โDo you have any store merchandise in your purse?โ
She wrenches her arm free, her expression indignant. โNo. Of course I donโt!โ
โYou set off our alarm. I canโt let you leave without searching your purse.โ
The babysitter looks like she might refuse, but sheโs obviously in a bind. This big guy is not going to let her leave without checking her purse.
So she thrusts it at his chest. โHere. Knock yourself out.โ
Itโs almost too horrible to watch, because I know what heโs going to find. It takes him all of five seconds to yank out the necklace inside. The tags are still intact. The babysitterโs eyes go wide.
โI didnโt put that there! Itโฆ it must have fallen insideโฆโ
The guard shakes his head. โIโm afraid weโre going to have to call the police.โ He looks to the back of the store. โMaria? We have a shoplifter here and Iโm calling the cops.โ
I only wish Carrie were here to see the look on the babysitterโs face. She looks like sheโs about to pee her pants, especially when Maria strides over with a cold, almost chilling expression in her eyes. Maria can be pretty badass when she wants to be. I wouldnโt have thought so.
โPlease donโt call the police.โ The babysitter is crying now. โPlease. I swear I didnโt take the necklace. I donโt know how it got in my purse.โ
Mariaโs expression is impassive. โIt doesnโt help to lie.โ
โPlease, you have to understandโฆโ The babysitter swipes at her eyes. โI got arrested for shoplifting a year ago, and the judge said if I got caught againโฆโ
โIโm sorry.โ Maria doesnโt blink. โOur store policy is to prosecute all shoplifters.โ
The babysitter is still sobbing as they call the police. Itโs funny because I always thought of my friend Julie as the person you could never mess with. But as it turns out, Maria is not somebody to mess with either.
I would never want this woman to be mad at me.