“That’s really all you’re taking with you?”
Adam insisted on coming in to the city to help me move out to Long Island. He offered to rent a truck, but I told him it wouldn’t be necessary. And as promised, all I’ve got is two large suitcases and one backpack. He threw the suitcases into the trunk of his BMW, and now he’s looking around like he can’t believe I don’t have more stuff.
I shove my hands into the pockets of my fall coat, which I’ve had since I was seventeen. The sleeves are frayed and the zipper gets stuck about twenty percent of the time. After I get my first paycheck, I’m going to buy a new coat. I’ve been fantasizing about it. “That’s it.”
“But…” Adam scratches his chin as he looks at the luggage one last time. “It’s just not very much. I mean, Victoria wouldn’t have even been able to fit her shoes into those two bags.”
“Yeah, well.” I don’t want to give him the real answer, about how you can’t accumulate that much clothing if you have no money to buy clothing with. “Let’s go.”
Riding in Adam’s BMW is so much better than the Long Island Railroad. It’s like the lap of luxury. I’ve never sat in a seat this comfortable in my entire life. This guy knows how to live.
It’s quiet in the car and he doesn’t reach to turn on the radio. Which means we’re basically sitting in awkward silence. I feel compelled to fill the silence.
“So… what was Victoria like?” I realize too late I’ve used the past tense to refer to a woman who is still very much alive. “I mean, before she…”
He doesn’t seem angry about my slip. “She’s really smart. I mean, really smart. She’s a nurse practitioner and she used to work in an ER— that’s actually how we met.”
“Oh, wow.” I try to imagine the woman staring vacantly out her bedroom window, taking care of patients in a busy ER. I can’t do it. “That’s amazing. Where did she work?”
“Mercy Hospital.” He pauses. “In Manhattan. She was taking some time off after we moved. She always wanted to have a break from working, and I wanted to give that to her. She deserved it.”
“Were you working in the ER too then?”
Adam gives me a shocked look. “Are you kidding? I was a patient. I had been waiting in there for hours and I was getting kind of pissed off, but when she walked into the room, I just… I forgot all about it. It was…”
I raise my eyebrows at him. “What?”
“Love at first sight. Shot by an arrow. Angels playing harps. That kind of thing.” His ears turn pink. “I know it sounds dumb, but that’s what it was. I just saw her and I knew right away. She was the one I was going to marry.”
He’s silent then, lost in his own thoughts. I can sympathize with how he’s feeling. I thought I met the love of my life once upon a time too. And then that went… well, really badly. At least Victoria isn’t stalking him outside his apartment building, playing Peter Gabriel on a cell phone.
“How about some music?” Adam asks after he merges onto the Long Island Expressway.
“Sure.” It beats making awkward conversation for three hours. I’m definitely done asking about Victoria.
He fumbles around in a compartment between the seats. “I have my driving mix CD. I’ll put that on.”
“What’s a CD?”
Adam gives me a look out of the corner of his eye. “Oh God. You’re joking, right?”
“Yes, I’m joking. I know what a CD is. Although I have to admit, I’ve never actually seen one up close.”
“Christ, you’re making me feel ancient.” I had estimated Adam’s age at mid-thirties, about ten years older than I am. But there’s something youthful about him. I don’t feel like I’m around a much older man. Anyway, women mature faster than men—it’s a biological fact. That’s definitely true about Freddy, who is the same age as me.
“Anyway, you’re in for a treat,” he says. He yanks a compact disk from the compartment. “Ta da!”
“Ooh!” I take it from him and hold it up in mock wonder. I had been joking about never having seen a CD—my parents had stacks of them. “It’s
like a tiny record. Amazing.”
Adam laughs. “Hey, when I was younger, this was all we had. Well, and tapes.”
“What are tapes? You mean like scotch tape?”
He gives me a dirty look. “I made this CD probably back when you were in kindergarten. The ultimate driving mix. I made sure to buy a car with a CD player just so I could play this CD.”
“I feel like you’re raising my expectations too much though.” I insert the CD into the player. “Now if this isn’t the best album I’ve ever heard, I’m going to end up being disappointed.”
“Luckily, it will be the best album you’ve ever heard.”
A second later, the first song starts playing. Life is a Highway. Adam turns the volume way up, and he starts singing along in a hilariously off-key voice, to the point where it’s endearing. I can’t help but laugh, and a minute later, I’m singing too. Even though I am very far from the kind of girl who sings along with country anthems while cruising along the Long Island Expressway in a BMW. This is definitely not my bag.
But somehow, I’m having a really good time.
Somewhere along track number ten, when my voice is getting hoarse, I start to think to myself that this is the most fun I’ve had in… maybe in years. And it’s with a man who is very much married. To a woman I am about to start working for, who is seriously ill. I would be the absolute worst person in the world if anything happened between him and me. I have to keep reminding myself of that. Over and over.
Adam is married. He’s married dammit.
We listen to the driving CD three times before we make it out to Montauk. By the time we pull up in front of Adam’s house, I’m feeling regretful that the trip wasn’t even longer. But it’s nice to finally get out of the car and be able to stretch. And as I look up at the large house, I still get that sense of dread, but it’s not quite as strong as the first day. Maybe this will all be okay.
I go around to the trunk to grab my luggage, but Adam is too quick for me. He pulls both my bags out of the trunk and sprints for the front door.
“You know,” I say, “I can carry one of those bags.” “You’ve got your backpack.”
I want to point out that I am his employee—not the other way around
—and he doesn’t have to rush around to please me. But he’s already reached the front door with my bags. It’s fine. If he wants to be a gentleman, I’m not going to complain.
“Our cleaning woman, Maggie, was keeping an eye on Victoria while I was getting you,” Adam explains as he fumbles with his keys. “She’s been pitching in a little bit, but it’s really not her job. It’ll be nice to have you around.”
He gets the door open and then snatches another set of keys off a bookshelf. He tosses the keys to me and I catch them expertly. “Your set,” he says.
There are, I swear to God, thirteen keys on this ring. How many doors does this place have?
As Adam brings my bags upstairs to my bedroom, I linger awkwardly in the living room. I realize too late that I should have followed him up there. I grab my backpack off the floor and start towards the stairs, just as a woman in skinny jeans and a tank top comes out of the kitchen. She’s a few years older than me with a shock of red hair and freckles all over her face. When she sees me, she narrows her eyes and takes a step back.
“Hi!” I curse the fact that I’m not more outgoing. I don’t have the sort of face that makes people like me instantly—like Victoria did. “I’m Sylvia. I’m… um, new here. I’m supposed to be helping out Victoria…”
After the warm welcome I got from Eva, I’m not expecting much. But to my total shock, she throws her arms around me and squashes me in a hug. “Sylvia!” she cries. “I’m so glad to meet you!”
“Oh.” I feel oddly flattered by her ultra-enthusiastic greeting. “Thank you.”
She laughs and pulls away. “Sorry. That was weird. My name is Maggie—I clean around here.”
“Yes, Adam mentioned it.”
She tucks a few strands of red hair that had come loose from her ponytail behind her ear. Her hair is so red that it doesn’t seem like a color that could occur in nature. But I don’t see any dark roots. “It’s just… It gets really lonely out here and it’s nice to have somebody around who’s… you know, my age. I was scared when I heard your name that you might be an old woman.”
I can’t help but laugh. I’ve heard that before. “The name Sylvia is making a comeback. A lot of people call me Sylvie.”
She nods eagerly. “I can’t tell you how great it is to have a young, normal person working here.”
I’m guessing that the older, strange person she’s referring to has to be Eva. In which case, I can’t blame her. “Do you live here too?”
Maggie shakes her head. “I live about ten minutes away, with my boyfriend. He works around here, so I wanted a job that was local. It was supposed to be temporary, but I’ve been here like a year and a half.”
“So you were around before Victoria’s… accident?”
She picks up a washcloth from the kitchen counter as she drops her eyes. “Yes. I was here from the beginning.”
I glance up the long, curved flight of stairs that nearly did Victoria in. “What was she like?”
She frowns. “What do you mean?” “Victoria. What was she like?”
Maggie suddenly becomes very busy with her washcloth. She doesn’t look up at me. “She was nice. Very pretty. You know. The usual.”
I get the sense Maggie is reluctant to talk about Victoria Barnett. Which is frustrating, because I get the feeling she’s the only one in this house who might be capable of telling me the truth.
Before I can press her any harder, I hear Adam calling me from upstairs. Time to unpack in my new room. And anyway, it doesn’t look like Maggie is going to tell me anything more. At least not right now.
