This woman is not the same woman from the photograph downstairs.
Well, she is, but she isn’t. If you know what I mean. She used to be that woman, but it’s clear that she isn’t anymore. She’s a shell of that same woman.
She still has the same golden hair, but it’s dull and limp instead of shiny like in the photograph. There is a scar snaking out from under her hairline on the left. Her blue eyes have lost all their expression, and they stare off in two completely different directions. Her left cheekbone looks almost dented and there is a jagged ugly scar running down the entire side of her face. For a moment, I wonder why, with all their money, they didn’t give her plastic surgery, but the answer is obvious. She couldn’t care less what she looks like anymore.
“Hey, Vicky.” Adam’s voice softens and takes on a tender tone I hadn’t heard before. “This is Sylvia. She’s really nice. She’s going to be spending some time with you.”
Victoria lifts her eyes to look at me. The right one looks straight in my face, but the other still points in the direction of the window. It’s hard to tell if she’s seeing me at all. She doesn’t say a word.
“She doesn’t talk much,” he explains in a low voice. It’s like he’s hoping she won’t hear, although she’s about two feet away from us. “The injury to her head affected the part of her brain that controls speech. She can understand things, but it’s hard to know how much. She can’t get many words out. Sometimes she can say ‘hi’ or ‘okay’ but most of the time, she can’t even tell you her own name.”
His voice breaks slightly on the last thing he says. It must be hard for him to explain all this to another person. I can’t imagine what it must be like for the person you married to not even know who you are or be able to say their own name.
“Hi, Victoria,” I say. I realize that I’m speaking too loudly and too slowly, like I’m talking to a hearing-impaired child. If she’s really in there and can understand what I’m saying, she must find it very patronizing. “I’m Sylvia. It’s nice to meet you.”
And then, for reasons I cannot fathom, I stick out my right hand.
It’s an automatic gesture. At some point in everyone’s life, they are taught to shake hands to be polite. But Victoria’s right arm is resting in a trough attached to the armrest of her wheelchair. She is fidgeting with her left hand in her lap, but her right hand is motionless. She looks down at my own right hand like I have presented her with a foreign object. Eva is looking at me like I have done something epically stupid.
“She can’t move her right side at all,” Adam says.
“Right.” My face burns, and I remind myself that if I do take this job, it won’t always be this awkward. After a week, I’ll know what to do and won’t humiliate myself anymore. “Sorry.”
“She does best with routine—same thing every day,” Adam says. “Eva will help her to get up in the morning and one of us will take care of bedtime. You would just help out during the day. Meals, getting things she needs, and just keeping her company.” He looks down at his wife’s face, his brow furrowed. “I worry about her getting lonely. She just… She mostly likes to look out the window and maybe watch some television.”
I follow Victoria’s gaze out the window. She’s got a view of the front of the house—of the overgrown lawn and the trees and a small shed. The gate is visible in the distance.
“What about taking walks outside?” I suggest. After I put on Adam’s scarf, I realized the weather wasn’t so bad once I was dressed for it properly. We have at least another good month before the bitter cold sets in.
He nods. “You would have to bundle her up really well, but if you want to do it, I can carry her down the stairs.”
I realize what he’s getting at. Victoria obviously can’t make it down a flight of stairs on her own. But that makes me wonder why they keep her upstairs on the second floor. “Maybe she’d be better off sleeping downstairs?”
He shakes his head. “We only have a half bathroom down there and it’s not big enough to fit her chair. And there’s a much nicer view from the windows on the second floor. She likes it up here.”
He looks down at her again with a tender expression on his face. It’s not clear to me how she expresses that she likes or dislikes anything. Her face is completely blank. I would think she was dead except that her eyes
occasionally blink and she’s playing with a loose thread on her shirt with her left hand.
I chew on my lower lip. If I’m going to take this job, I have to find a way to connect with Victoria on some level. After all, it’s clear we’re not going to be having any heart-to-heart conversations anytime soon. I look down at her baggy T-shirt and sweatpants, recalling how stylish her outfit was in the photograph on the mantle. I can’t imagine this is a woman who would have liked to dress in sweats every day.
Then I catch a glimpse of a gold chain around her neck—hanging from the chain is a tiny diamond snowflake. It looks beautiful and expensive.
That chain is like a glimpse of the old Victoria.
“That’s a lovely necklace you have, Victoria,” I say. I figure every woman likes a compliment, whether she understands me or not.
Victoria lifts her blue eyes again. She stares up at me. “Thank you.”
I almost jump out of my skin at the sound of her hoarse voice. I didn’t expect her to talk. Her voice was slightly slurred, but it was very clear what she said. I glance over at Adam, who is beaming.
“She talked to you!” He’s grinning ear to ear. “She almost never talks! That’s amazing. She must really like you.” He rests one hand on her shoulder. “Sylvia is nice, right?”
Victoria doesn’t answer. She’s staring out the window again. Oh well. “You can’t expect her to talk much,” he says to me. “Believe me, it’s
huge that she said two words to you. Usually, we’re lucky if we get one word.” He shakes his head. “Anyway, let me show you the room you’d be staying in.”
As I follow Adam out of Victoria’s room, I take one last look back at Victoria. She doesn’t look away from the window. She barely even seems aware that we were ever in the room. But Eva’s eyes follow us like an arrow. She has a strange expression on her face that makes me very uneasy.
“It was nice meeting you, Eva,” I say to her.
And much like Victoria, she doesn’t respond. She just keeps staring at me. It’s very unsettling. I hope I don’t have to deal with this woman much. Adam said she’s only around in the morning.
The bedroom Adam gives me is gorgeous. It’s bigger than my entire studio apartment back in the city. It’s already furnished with a bed and a
dresser and a small bookcase. He’s even got sheets and a blanket on the bed. The only thing missing is a mint on the pillow.
“I hope it’s okay.” He squeezes his hands together. “I can get a truck to help move your furniture out here if you want to bring any of it, but you’re welcome to this stuff.”
“I don’t need my furniture.” The furniture back at my apartment is hanging together by the grace of God. Every time I go to sleep, I’m scared my bed will collapse during the night. “This will be fine.”
“Or if the room is too small for you, there are other rooms…” He glances at the doorway. “The one all the way at the end is mine, but you could have any other room. There’s also the attic, but I work up there.”
“No, I promise, this is wonderful.” I take a seat on the bed and almost moan with pleasure. The covers feel so soft under my fingers. I can’t imagine what they must have cost. I wonder if Victoria is the one who picked them out. “You sure have a lot of rooms.”
Adam gets that sad look on his face again. “We had this idea about filling them up with kids.”
Oh God. Everything about this man’s life is so depressing. This poor guy gets married to the woman of his dreams, who he obviously loves very much, and then she’s in a horrible accident and can barely speak and hardly seems to know who he is. And instead of stuffing her away in some nursing home, he’s brought her home with him and is spending a fortune to try to make her life as good as possible.
Victoria may not be a lucky woman. But she hit the jackpot on husbands.
“So what do you think?” Adam’s eyebrows bunch together. “I don’t mean to pressure you, but… You could see how hard it is for me to get into the city to interview people. I just want to have this squared away before winter.”
“I…”
I need to tell him yes. I need this job so badly. My landlord has told me I’ve got till the end of the week to come up with the rent, but I have nothing in my bank account. So that’s not going to happen. This man is willing to pay me an incredible salary as well as room and board. And even health insurance, for God’s sake. I would be crazy not to take this job.
So why am I hesitating? Just because everything else in my life has gone to hell, it doesn’t mean this will too.
“Is it the money?” He bites his lip. “Do you need more money?”
“It’s not that.” Damn, why did I say that? This was my chance to ask for more money. “I just feel very isolated out here.”
He nods thoughtfully. “I know what you mean. I felt that way at first too. But it’s really not that bad. I mean, there’s a McDonald’s five minutes away. And you can use Victoria’s car to go anywhere you like. I don’t want you to feel like you’re stuck here… You’re welcome to go out in the evenings when I’m around to stay with Victoria.”
“Right…”
“I think you’ll love it here.” He leans forward slightly, so that I can smell the aftershave that was on his scarf. Unwittingly, he’s giving me another reason to stay—my boss is hot. “It’s very quiet and the mall is right around the corner. Victoria absolutely loved it here. That is, until…”
I can’t say to him what I’m really thinking, which is that this house gives me the creeps. Maybe Victoria loved it here, but I don’t. And for that matter, his wife gives me the creeps too. There’s something about her and that blank expression that terrifies me. It’s an awful thing to say about a woman who has been through something horrible, but I can’t help it.
But what can I do? I don’t want to live on the street. “Okay,” I say. “I’ll take the job.”
