I have been working here for nearly two months and in all that time, I haven’t once seen Victoria smile.
I’ve made an effort. I crack jokes in her presence. I try to smile as much as I can to set a good example. But it doesn’t seem like it’s ever going to happen. Especially today. While I’m helping her eat lunch, she looks like she’s closer to bursting into tears than smiling as she dutifully opened her mouth for a bite of puréed beef.
“This Thursday is Thanksgiving,” I say brightly. “We’ll dress you up real pretty and have dinner together. You, me, and Adam. It will be delicious.”
I can’t imagine puréed turkey is going to be that delicious, but I’m not going to say that.
Victoria lifts her one good eye to look at me. She looks so sad. I used to think she had a dream life before her accident, but I don’t think so anymore. If the things she’s writing in her diary are true, it doesn’t seem like she was very happy with Adam at all.
It seems like he was horrible to her.
But he isn’t like that at all around me. It’s hard to imagine that these two men are even the same person. It’s like the Adam she describes in her diary is an entirely different man who happens to have the same name as the man I’ve been sharing a bed with.
I don’t know what to think.
“Listen,” I say to Victoria. I put the spoon down on her plate. “I was thinking… Maybe I could find Mack for you.”
Her eyes widen.
“Would you like that, Victoria?”
She doesn’t answer me. I had hoped for something—maybe not an outright smile, but at least some of the sadness disappearing. Maybe she doesn’t think I can find him. And the truth is, I’m not entirely confident.
“What’s his last name?” I ask.
Her mouth opens like she’s about to speak. I lean in, hoping to catch any piece of information that might help me find this guy.
“Mmmmmmmm.”
I realize now what she’s trying to do. She’s trying to say his name, but she can’t. She has so much trouble with M words, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. But if that’s the case, I doubt I’ll get his last name out of her. Oh well. It was worth a try.
“I’m going to find him,” I promise her. It’s the least I can do.
