Erika
Detective Rivera doesn’t believe my story.
She thinks Liam is the one who stabbed Jason. To be fair, he is covered in blood. But I couldn’t take a risk of him going to jail for this. If anyone should take the fall for it, it should be me. I’m the idiot who married the guy. I am the fool who believed his lies for twenty years of marriage.
Detective Rivera met us at the emergency room and was plainly surprised to find that Olivia was not only alive, but clinging to Liam as he carries her into the emergency room. He mostly kept his mouth shut as I told the detective my story about how I stabbed Jason in self-defense. He and I are the only ones who know the truth.
With Hannah’s help, I gave her directions to the cabin where they found my husband’s body.
“I can’t believe it,” Rivera kept saying. “I really thought…” I couldn’t blame her. I thought the same thing.
While Hannah is off getting her wrist X-rayed, I’m left with Liam in Hannah’s room in the ER. It’s the first moment we’ve had alone since we rescued Hannah and Olivia. Well, I should say he rescued them. I helped. A little.
There’s so much I feel like I need to say to him. I thought the worst of him, and he knew it. That’s not the way a mother should behave. I’m ashamed of myself. I’m ashamed of the fact that I had no idea what Jason was up to.
My own husband. I can’t believe it.
“You didn’t have to tell the detective you killed him,” Liam says quietly. “We could have told her the truth.”
“It’s better this way.” “Why?”
“You know why.” I look down at my hands, which have finally stopped shaking. “I’m not letting them put you in jail again. Not for that.”
“It was self-defense.”
“No, it wasn’t. And you know it.”
Liam stares down at his sneakers, which are caked in a combination of mud and blood. He doesn’t contradict me, and I’m glad, because we both know it would be a lie. I’m sick of the lies.
I squeeze my knees with my fingers. “But I’m sorry I accused you of… well, you know. I was wrong. Obviously.”
He doesn’t look up. “Well, it’s not like you were the only one who thought so. The whole town thought I killed her.”
“Yes, but I’m your mother. I should have believed you.”
He chews on his lip, his eyes still downcast. “Yeah, but… let’s face it
—over the years, I gave you plenty of reasons to believe I’d do something like this.”
It’s true, but it’s a shock to hear him admit it. We always pretended like Liam was the perfect son, and he played the role to a tee. “But you didn’t do it.”
“No. I didn’t.”
“Also,” I add, “I want to thank you.”
Liam finally looks up at me. The bruise on his cheek has faded slightly, but it’s still there. “For what?”
“You saved my life. You saved Hannah’s life. Even though…” He frowns. “Even though what?”
“Even though…” I clear my throat. “Nothing. Never mind.” He cocks his head to the side. “What?”
I bite my lip, afraid to say the words that have been circling around my brain for the last decade. Your son doesn’t love you. He’s not capable of it. “I know you don’t feel… you know…”
Liam is quiet for a moment. “Feel what?”
“Dr. Hebert explained it to me,” I say quickly. “I know you have trouble with… you know, emotions.”
“Emotions?”
“You know, like… love.”
“What?” Liam blinks at me. “Um, that’s bullshit. You really don’t think that I love you and Hannah?”
I don’t know what to say to that. “It’s okay if you don’t. It’s just who you are.”
“Jesus, Mom.” He rakes a hand through his dark hair. “I can’t believe you’re saying that. Of course I love you. You’re my mom.”
“But Dr. Hebert said—”
“Oh, well, if the quack psychiatrist said it, then it must be true, right?” He snorts. “I just risked my life for you. I love you, Mom. If anything happened to you or Hannah…”
He’s quiet then, looking down at his hands. “It would be awful,” he finally says.
I don’t always know if Liam is telling the truth, but at this moment, I know for sure that he is. My son loves me. I always thought he was incapable of it. But I was wrong.
