A few minutes later her brother came to see her. Heโd heard the voicemail sheโd sent him and had responded by text at seven minutes a๎er midnight. โYou okay, sis?โย ๎ขen, when the hospital contacted him, heโd caught the ๏ฌrst train from London. Heโd bought the latest issue ofย National Geographicย for her while waiting at St Pancras station.
โYou used to love it,โ he told her, as he placed the magazine beside the hospital bed.
โI still do.โ
It was good to see him. His thick eyebrows and reluctant smile still intact. He walked in a little awkward, head cowed, hair longer than it had been in the last two lives in which she had seen him.
โIโm sorry Iโve been incommunicado recently,โ he said. โIt wasnโt about what Ravi said it was about. I donโt evenย thinkย aboutย ๎ขe Labyrinths any more. I was just in a weird place. A๎er Mum died I was seeing this guy and we had a very messy break-up and I just didnโt want to have to talk to you or, recently, to anyone about it. I just wanted to drink. And I was drinking too much. It was a real problem. But Iโve started getting help for it. I havenโt had a drink for weeks. I go to the gym and everything now. Iโve started a cross-training class.โ
โOh Joe, poor you. Iโm sorry about the break-up. And everything else.โ โYouโre all Iโve got, sis,โ he said, his voice cracking a little. โI know I havenโt
valued you. I know I wasnโt always the best, growing up. But I had my own shit going on. Having to be a certain way because of Dad. Hiding my sexuality. I know it wasnโt easy for you but it wasnโt easy for me either. You were good atย everything. School, swimming, music. I couldnโt compete . . .
Plus Dad was Dad and I had to be this fake vision of whatever he thought a man was.โ He sighed. โItโs weird. We both probably remember it in di๏ฌerent ways. But donโt leave me, okay? Leaving the band was one thing. But donโt leave existence. I couldnโt cope with that.โ
โI wonโt if you wonโt,โ she said. โTrust me, Iโm not going anywhere.โ
She thought of the grief that had ๏ฌoored her when she had heard about Joeโs death by overdose in Sรฃo Paulo, and she asked him to hug her, and he obliged, delicately, and she felt the living warmth of him.
โ๎ขanks for trying to jump in the river for me,โ she said. โWhat?โ
โI always thought you didnโt. But you tried.ย ๎ขey pulled you back.ย ๎ขank you.โ
He suddenly knew what she was talking about. And maybe more than a little confused about how she knew this, when she had been swimming away from him. โAh, sis. I love you. We were young fools.โ
Joe nipped out for an hour. Picked up the keys from her landlord, collected his sisterโs clothes and phone.
She saw that Izzy had texted.ย Sorry I didnโt get back last night/this morning. I wanted a proper discussion!ย ๎ปesis antithesis synthesis.ย ๎ปe whole works. How are you? I miss you. Oh, and guess what? Iโm thinking of coming back to the UK in June. For good. Miss you, my friend. Also, have a TON of humpback pics coming your way. xxx
Nora made a slight noise of involuntary joy at the back of her throat.
She texted back. It was interesting, she mused to herself, how life sometimes simply gave you a whole new perspective by waiting around long enough for you to see it.
She went on the Facebook page of the International Polar Research Institute.
๎ขere was a photograph of the woman she had shared a cabin with โ Ingrid โ standing with the ๏ฌeld leader Peter, using a thin measuring drill to gauge the thickness of sea ice, and a link to an article headlined โIPRI research con๏ฌrms last decade warmest on record for Arctic regionโ. She shared the link. And posted a comment: โKeep up the great work!โ And decided that when she earned some money, she would donate.
It was agreed that Nora could go home. Her brother ordered an Uber. As they were pulling out of the car park Nora saw Ash driving into the hospital. He must have been on a late shi๎. He had a di๏ฌerent car in this life. He didnโt see her, despite her smile, and she hoped he was happy. She hoped he only had an easy shi๎ย of gall bladders ahead of him. Maybe she would go along and watch him in the Bedford half-marathon on Sunday. Maybe she would askย himย out for a co๏ฌee.
Maybe.
In the back of the car, her brother told her he was looking for some freelance session work.
โIโm thinking of becoming a sound engineer,โ he said. โVaguely, anyway.โ
Nora was happy to hear this. โWell, I think you should do it. I think youโd like it. I donโt know why. Iโve just got a feeling.โ
โOkay.โ
โI mean, it might not be as glamorous as being an international rock star, but it might be . . . safer. Maybe even happier.โ
๎ขat was a tough sell, and Joe wasnโt entirely buying it. But he smiled and nodded to himself. โActually, thereโs a studio in Hammersmith and theyโre looking for sound engineers. Itโs only ๏ฌve minutes from me. I could walk it.โ
โHammersmith? Yes.ย ๎ขatโs the one.โ โWhat do you mean?โ
โI mean, I just think it sounds good. Hammersmith, sound engineer. It sounds like youโd be happy.โ
He laughed at her. โOkay, Nora. Okay. And that gym I was telling you about? Itโs right next door to the place.โ
โAh, cool. Any nice guys there?โ
โActually, yes, there is one. Heโs called Ewan. Heโs a doctor. He goes to cross-training.โ
โEwan! Yes!โ
โWho?โ
โYou should ask him out.โ
Joe laughed, thinking Nora was just being playful. โIโm not even one hundred per cent sure heโs gay.โ
โHe is! Heโs gay. He isย one hundred per cent gay. And one hundred per cent into you. Dr Ewan Langford. Ask him out. You have to trust me! It will be the best thing you ever do . . .โ
Her brother laughed as the car pulled up at 33A Bancro๎ย Avenue. He paid, on account of Nora still having no money and no wallet.
Mr Banerjee sat at his window, reading.
Out on the street, Nora saw her brother staring in astonishment down at his phone.
โWhatโs up, Joe?โ
He could hardly speak. โLangford . . .โ โSorry?โ
โDr Ewan Langford. I didnโt even know his surname was Langford but thatโs him.โ
Nora shrugged. โSibling intuition. Add him. Follow him. DM him. Whatever you have to do. Well, no unsolicited nude pics. But heโs the one, Iโm telling you. Heโs the one.โ
โBut how did you know it was him?โ
She took her brother by the arm, and knew there was no explanation she could possibly give. โListen to me, Joe.โ She remembered the anti-philosophy of Mrs Elm in the Midnight Library. โYou donโt have toย understandย life. You just have toย liveย it.โ
As her brother headed towards the door of 33A Bancro๎ย Avenue, Nora looked around at all the terraced houses and all the lampposts and trees under the sky, and she felt her lungs in๏ฌate at the wonder of being there, witnessing it all as if for the ๏ฌrst time. Maybe in one of those houses was another slider, someone on their third or seventeenth or ๏ฌnal version of themselves. She would look out for them.
She looked at number 31.
๎ขrough his window Mr Banerjeeโs face slowly lit up as he saw Nora safe and sound. He smiled and mouthed a โthank youโ, as if simply her act of living was something he should be grateful for. Tomorrow, she would ๏ฌnd some money and go to the garden centre and buy him a plant for his ๏ฌowerbed. Foxgloves, maybe. She was sure he liked foxgloves.
โNo,โ she called back, blowing him a friendly kiss. โ๎ขankย you, Mr Banerjee!ย ๎ขank you for everything!โ
And he smiled broader, and his eyes were full of kindness and concern, and Nora remembered what it was to care and be cared for. She followed her brother inside her ๏ฌat to start tidying up, catching a glimpse of the clusters of irises in Mr Banerjeeโs garden as she went. Flowers she hadnโt appreciated
before, but which now mesmerised her with the most exquisite purple she had ever seen. As though the ๏ฌowers werenโt just colours but part of a language, notes in a glorious ๏ฌoral melody, as powerful as Chopin, silently communicating the breathtaking majesty of life itself.
