Present Day
Itโs raining when I finally finish up my work and head downstairs. I stand in the lobby for a moment, watching the plump droplets of rain fall from the sky. I donโt have an umbrella. Iโm not even sure Iย ownย an umbrella. Well, thereโs probably one in the back of my closet somewhere, but it doesnโt do me much good right now.
I pull up the hood on my jacket and sprint across the small parking lot to my Camry. I yank open the door and jump inside, then pause to assess the damage. My scrub pants are fairly damp, but at least my hair seems to have been spared. There are water droplets in my eyelashes.
Considering I am wet and uncomfortable, this would probably be a good time to head home. Maybe make myself a warm beverage and watch a little television before I turn in.
But I donโt head home. Instead, I punch an address into my GPS, one not far off the freeway. When I reach the block of my destination, I turn off my headlights. I park across the street and stare out the window.
โYou have reached your destination on the left,โ Siri tells me. โThanks,โ I murmur.
I stare out at the Kelloggsโ front door through my windshield as the wiper blades swish back and forth.
I donโt entirely know why I came here. I noted his address on the billing form, and it stuck in my head. I meant to drive straight home, but instead, I got to thinking about Mrs. Kelloggโs black eye. And before I knew it, I was typing their address into my GPS. And now Iโm here.
I stare across the street, into the glowing windows of the first floor of their house. I donโt see any silhouettes in the window. Theyโre probably in the dining room having dinner. Or maybe watching TV on the sofa together.
I look down at my fingers, gripping the steering wheel so hard, my knuckles are white.
I take a shaky breath. Then another.
Then I throw the car back into drive and get the hell out of there.
I donโt want to go home now. The idea of coming home to my empty house makes me feel slightly ill. So instead, I find myself navigating the wet roads and heading over to Christopherโs again. I feel like having another Old Fashioned tonight. Just one.
It occurs to me as Iโm pulling into the parking lot that Henry Callahan might be here tonight again. My heart skips a beat at the thought of it.
God, I need that drink.
The rain is still coming down, so I put my hood back up and dash through the parking lot to get to the entrance. Fortunately, I donโt see any familiar faces when I walk into Christopherโs. Well, except for the bartender. Itโs the same guy from yesterday. The one with the nondescript brown eyes and hair and the perpetual five oโclock shadow, who stood up for me when Callahan was hassling me yesterday. The one who looks strangely familiarโthat feeling Iโve met him before is even stronger this time.
I watch him as he uses his bottle opener to take the cap off a bottle of beer. He slides it onto the table for a customer then scoops up the payment and tip. Iโm convinced I know this man. But from where?
I sit down at the bar and wait for him to take notice of me. Maybe itโs my imagination, but his eyes light up slightly when he sees me. โAnother Old Fashioned, Doc?โ he asks me.
That voice. His voice is familiar too. This is driving me crazy. โYes, thanks.โ
He assembles the drink in front of me. Maybe itโs my imagination, but it looks like heโs giving me more whiskey than yesterday. When heโs finished, he slides the amber liquid across the counter in my direction. โEnjoy.โ
I wrap my fingers around the cool glass. โWait,โ I say. He raises his eyebrows.
I clear my throat. โDo I know you?โ
He freezes. From the expression on his face, itโs obvious he knew exactly who I was from the moment he laid eyes on me. And he didnโt tell me.
โYes,โ he finally says. โIโฆ my name is Brady Mitchell.โ
And thenโฆ oh my God, it all comes back to me. โWe dated!โ
One corner of his lips quirks up. โYou could say that, yes.โ
Except thatโs an understatement. And he knows it. We didnโt just have a few dates. He was my boyfriendโฆ sort of. But it was ages ago. Back in college. He was, in fact, the teaching assistant for a computer science class I was taking. After the class was over and my grade was in, he asked me out, and I found him so adorably dorky, I said yes.
But heโs not dorky anymore. He looks very differentโitโs no wonder I didnโt recognize him right away. He grew up. He used to be clean-shaven and skinny and gangly, but his face filled out andโฆ Well, itโs hard not to notice his chest filled out too. And why is heย bartending? The guy has a bachelorโs degree in computer science. He was a geniusโhe could doย anythingย with a computer.
โWhy didnโt you say it was you?โ I ask.
His eyes meet mine, and he doesnโt need to answer the question. Obviously, he doesnโt feel great about where his life is right now. I donโt know how he ended up this way. Not that being a bartender is terrible, but I expected he would be the next Bill Gates by now. Something went wrong. Got caught hacking? Drugs? I have no idea.
โAnyway,โ he says, โcongratulations on your career. I remember you always wanted to be a surgeon. Not that there was any doubt. Iโve never seen anyone so dedicated. You did everything except make a sacrifice to the premed gods.โ
โThanks.โ (I think.)
I take a sip of my drink, enjoying the warm feeling that comes over me. Brady Mitchell. My God. We dated for about three months, if Iโm remembering correctly. He was nice. I was the one who ended it, but I donโt think it was overly traumatic. We ended on good terms.
The part Iโm having trouble remembering isย whyย I ended it. I must have had a reason, beyond just three months being the upper limit of how long Iโm willing to date a guy (which is true). Iโm sure I had a good reason for breaking up with Brady.
But why?
Well, I canโt exactly ask him. Even if I told him the truth at the time, which I suspect I did not.
โYouโre wondering why Iโm working here,โ he says. I blink at him. โNoโฆโ
He makes a face at me. โOh, comeย on. Look, I donโt blame you. Iโd be wondering too.โ
I shrug. โNot really.โ
โOh? Well, in that case, Iโm not going to tell you.โ โFine,โ I concede. โIโm wondering. Aย little.โ
He nods, satisfied. โSo I came out here because I got a great job in Silicon Valley,โ he says. โBut dumbass that I am, I quit my awesome job to join what I thought was an incredible startup. Which then failed spectacularly. So I am currently passing my resume around, and itโs not going great.โ He looks around the bar. โThis is so I donโt end up living in a cardboard box, you know? Those boxes are not very comfortable to sleep in.โ
โRight.โ I think for a minute, wondering if there are any strings I can pull at the hospital to get him an IT job. But Iโm not sure if heโd appreciate that. โIโm sure youโll find something else.โ
โYeahโฆ The job market isnโt great now. Of course, itโs all my fault.โ He rubs at his chin which has even more stubble than last night. Back in college, he could barely grow a beardโnow it seems to be happening against his will, as the night goes on. โBut the truth is, I like working here. Itโs a good break. I was going cross-eyed sitting in front of a computer day in day out for fifteen years. And carpal tunnelย sucks.โ
He smiles at me again. Boy, heโs cute. Why on earth did I break up with him? Itโs driving me nuts that I canโt remember. โI always figured youโd be married by now,โ I remark.
He glances down the bar to make sure nobody is trying to get his attention. But itโs quiet tonight. โI was. Not anymore.โ
โOh. Iโm sorry.โ
โDonโt say sorry.โ He shakes his head. โBack when I was married, that would be the time to say sorry. Now you should sayย congratulations, because Iโm out.โ
โOh. Well, congratulations.โ
โGracias.โ He looks pointedly down at my left hand. No ring. โHow about you?โ
โNo, never went that route.โ He snorts. โNot surprised.โ I inhale sharply. โWhy?โ
He laughs. โThat was your mantra in college, wasnโt it?ย I will never get married, Brady. I never want kids.โ
โOh, right. I guess I knew what I wanted at an early age.โ
I take another sip from my drink. I donโt know if itโs the alcohol or what, but I donโt remember feeling quite this drawn to Brady back in college. Iย likedย him, but heโs on another level of sexy now. But so what? Nothing is going to happen. Itโs been too long. And also, I just noticed a splatter of blood on the leg of my scrub pants, right in that gap between where my gown ended and the booties began during my surgical cases from today. Thatโs pretty much the opposite of sexy.
Well, unless youโre my father.
โThat guy from yesterdayโฆโ he says. โHe didnโt bother you after you left, did he?โ
I decide not to mention the fact that Callahan started following me as I drove home last night. It would just worry him. โNo.โ
He leans on the counter close enough that I could smell a hint of his aftershave. โI was worried, you know. I was about to go to the door and watch to make sure you made it to your car okay, but then this big crowd of customers came in together and I had to deal with them.โ
โItโs fine. I couldโve handled him.โ
A smile plays on his lips. โYeah. Iโll just bet you could have.โ
Why canโt I remember why I broke up with you?
Somebody is calling for Brady to get a drink, so he leaves me alone. I sip on my Old Fashioned, watching him. Thereโs a woman at the other end of the bar ordering a drink, and sheโs flirting with him. Her hand is on his forearm, and sheโs laughing at some joke he made. Or maybe just laughing. Heโs flirting back, but a few times, I catch him looking in my direction.
I donโt want to encourage him though, so I turn my attention to the television screen over the bar. The evening news is on this time. The handsome reporter is talking about a young woman named Amber Swanson whoโs been reported missing. The police are searching, but sheโs disappeared without a trace.
Itโs a dangerous world out there.
I finish the last of my drink and pull out my purse to pay him. But before I can get out my wallet, Brady is suddenly back in front of me. Heโs staring across the counter of the bar with his nice brown eyes.
โHey,โ he says. โYou heading out?โ I nod. โYes.โ
โGot an umbrella?โ
I glance out the window. The rain seems to have intensified since Iโve been here. Gigantic droplets are plummeting from the sky. โIโll be fine.โ
Brady reaches under the bar. He pulls out a small folded umbrella and holds it out to me. โYou donโt want to get soaked.โ
โI donโt want to steal your umbrella.โ
โSteal itโplease. Itโs pouring out there.โ
I almost refuse again, but heโs insistent. I have a feeling heโs not going to take no for an answer. โWell, thanks.โ
He hesitates for a moment. โI get off work in half an hour. Do you want to go get a drink?โ
I stare down at my drained cocktail. โI think Iโve had enough for the night. Youโre not trying to get me drunk, are you?โ
โOkay, okayโฆโ He raises an eyebrow. โDinner then? I know a great Greek place.โ He grins at me. โWe can catch up on old times. Itโll be fun.โ
Right. We can โcatch upโ on โold times.โ Although I have no doubt it will be fun.
โHmm.โ I fiddle with my wallet, even though I already know what Iโm going to say. โThe thing is, Iโve been up since five in the morning.โ
โYes, but you seem so bright and perky.โ
โLooks are deceiving.โ I smile apologetically as I drop a ten-dollar bill on the table. โPlus I have to be up early tomorrow morning. Life of a surgeon, you know?โ
โI donโt.โ He sighs and shakes his head sadly. โBut I do appreciate you letting me down easy, Nora. I always liked that about you.โ
โHappy to oblige.โ
Am I making a mistake? Maybe a night with a cute guy is just what I need. But no. I have a feeling if I spend the night with him, it wonโt just be a night. Thereโs something about himโฆ
โListen.โ His mild brown eyes stay on mine. โIf you change your mind, Iโll be here another half hour, like I said. And Iโm on tomorrow night too. Just in case you wake up tomorrow, deeply regretting not hanging out with me.โ
I feel a smile twitching at my lips. โWhat ifย youย change your mind?โ
โNo chance of that.โ He nods at the black umbrella Iโm clutching in my right hand. โBesides, you have to come back to return my umbrella.โ
He holds my gaze for another moment. To be honest, Iโm very tempted to change my mind. But I decided a long time ago this isnโt a good idea. I know who I am, and I know what I can handle. So I get up off the barstool and leave Christopherโs. Iโll return the umbrella when heโs not around, and then Iโll find a different bar to go to until he finds another job.