Present Day
As usual, Iโm the last person to leave the office.
Harper shut off all the lights in the waiting area, so itโs pitch black when I come out there. It takes me several minutes of fumbling before I find the light switch, but Iโm scared if I donโt, Iโll end up nose-diving into a chair.
Iโm used to the busy pace of the waiting room, so itโs so eerily quiet in the evening. Harper left behind her biology book on her desk. I walk over and flip through the pages, seeing her meticulous notes scribbled in the margins. I remember when I used to study biology, back in college. My whole life was ahead of me then. It was a chance to leave my past behind.ย Nobody has to know who you are,ย my grandmother told me on the day I left for college.
And now somehow, Iโve gone and blown that. But to be fair, itโs not my fault.
I take the stairs two at a time down to the lobby. I canโt wait to get home. I have a feeling this might be my last night of quiet before the reporters start banging on my door. Maybe Iโll take a nice hot shower. Or better yet, a bath. When was the last time I had a bath? It might have been a different decade.
But then when I get down to the lobby, somebody is waiting for me. โNora?โ
I flinch. โBrady, what are you doing here?โ
Brady is standing in the lobby of the building, his hands shoved into the pockets of his open jacket. He takes a step towards me and I take a step back.
โCan I talk to you?โ he says. โNo. Iโm afraid you canโt.โ โNoraโฆโ
I frown at him. โWhat do you want to talk to me about? Look, we had some fun. You made your feelings pretty clear. Justโฆ letโs leave it at that.โ
โCan I have five minutes?โ He holds up his hand with his digits outstretched. โFive minutes. And if you donโt want to see me ever again after that, I promise I will leave you alone forever.โ
I let out a sigh. I can tell that if I say no, heโs going to keep at me.
Might as well get this over with. โFine. Five minutes.โ
I look down at my watch pointedly. Making sure he knows his five minutes have officially begun.
โSo hereโs the thing.โ He shoves his hands back into the pockets of his coat. โMy divorce was a mess. The only reason we got married in the first place was because she got pregnant. All we did was fight the whole time. And I justโฆ After it was over, I never wanted to have another relationship again. It was one of those things that soured me forever.โ He furrows his brow. โAnd then I saw you sitting at the bar, and I remembered what it was like to be happy with another person. And I wanted to start dating again. Does that make any sense?โ
I scoff. โIt doesnโt explain why you lied to me.โ
โCome on, Nora. We both know you hate children.โ
โJust because I donโt want any, that doesnโt mean I hate them.โ
Those are the truest words Iโve ever spoken. I like children. But I canโt risk passing on my genes to anyone else. I canโt risk creating another Aaron Nierling. I could never live with myself. And anyway, my career is my life. It consumes almost all my waking hours. Thereโs no room for children.
But God, it doesnโt mean Iย hateย them. If I were somebody else, somebody other thanย his daughter, I would love toโฆ
Well, itโs not worth thinking about. It is what it is.
โIs there anything I can say?โ he asks. โAnything I can do to convince you how sorry I am? Because I really like you, Nora.โ
I look up at his brown eyes and I realize how much he means it. It isnโt like men havenโt hit on me in the last ten years or so, since I decided to be celibate. But most of them didnโt care much one way or another if I went for it. Brady cares. But heโll get over it. Especially when the story about who I am hits the news tomorrow.
Iโm glad I donโt have to see the look on his face when he sees that story.
โSorry,โ I say. โAlso, your five minutes are up.โ โOkay,โ he sighs. โThatโs fair.โ
My mouth falls open. I had expected at least another twenty minutes of him trying to convince me we were made for each other. โThatโs it? Youโre giving up?โ
โIโฆโ He tilts his head. โYou told me no. Soโฆ I thoughtโฆ I mean, should Iย notย give up?โ
I stare at him, feeling suddenly a bit confused. Do I want him to keep trying? All I know is that when he gave in, I felt a deep sting of disappointment. โIโฆ Iโm going to get my car.โ
โCan I come with you?โ he asks.
Our eyes meet. Dammit, Iโm going to end up going home with him again. I wish I had more self-restraint. Usually, Iโm better at saying no.
We head out into the dark parking lot right outside the building. There are a couple of lights in the parking lot, but several of them have burned out. Iโll have to talk to maintenance about it. Brady walks me to my car, and itโs only after we get a few feet away that I see what happened to it.
โSomebody slashed my tires!โ I cry.
And they didnโt just poke holes in them to make them go flat. I see the shredded rubber in each of my wheels. Somebody did a number on my tires. I wonder if it was Mrs. Swanson. But no, she left hours ago. She wouldnโt have done this in broad daylight. Although I suppose she could have come back.
Tears prick at my eyes, but I quickly blink them away. I havenโt cried inโฆ I canโt even remember the last time Iโve cried. Itโs been a very, very long time.
โJesus,โ Brady breathes. โWhat the hell?โ
Iโm suddenly incredibly glad heโs here with me. If I saw this and was all alone, I wouldโve had a complete meltdown. But his presence calms me down.
โIโll have to get it towed.โ I look down at my watch. Itโs even later than I thought. God knows when Iโll get home at this rate. โThis is just great. Iโve been at work for fifteen hours and now I have to deal with this.โ
โLet me drive you home,โ he says quickly. โYou donโt need to deal with this now. All the repair places are closed anyway. You can call in the morning and get it towed.โ
I grunt. โI donโt have time to deal with this in the morning.โ
โBut I do.โ He bends down to look at the tires. โIโll come back here in the morning and Iโll meet the tow truck operator. Iโll take care of it for you.โ
โSo Iโm supposed to trust you to get my car towed for me?โ His lips pull down. โYou donโt trust me to do that?โ
I look down at the shredded tires on my Camry, then back at his open face. I guess I do trust him. Iโve known him for over fifteen years, and heโs never given me a reason not to. Yes, he lied about his daughter. But I think that was more because on some levelย heย didnโt trustย me.
โFine,โ I say. โThank you.โ I fish around in my purse for my keys and take the car key off the ring. I hand it over to him. โI appreciate it.โ
He pockets my car key. โCome on. Iโll drive you home.โ
Like me, Brady has a sensible carโalthough older and more beat up than mine. I climb into the passenger seat beside him, and I appreciate that the inside of the car is clean and that he doesnโt have to throw like twenty wrappers and empty Coke cans in the back so that I can sit.
โI like that your car isnโt covered in McDonaldโs French fries,โ I comment.
โOh, it definitely would be if I left Ruby to her own devices.โ โI appreciate cleanliness.โ
He winks at me. โItโs next to godliness, right?โ
Despite everything, I smile at that old saying. I feel the same way. I like everything neat and clean.
Brady mounts his phone on the dashboard. โWhatโs your address?โ I hesitate.
He gives me a look. โNora, I understand you want your privacy, but thereโs no way I can get you home if I donโt know where you live. I swear, I will only use your address this one time, and I will never use it for evil. Okay?โ
โFine,โ I grumble.
I recite my address and he punches it into the GPS on his phone. He gets on the road, and I appreciate that he doesnโt speed or do anything else that makes me feel like heโs taking our lives into his hands. Of course, if heโs used to driving with a kid in the car, I guess he knows how to take it easy.
I glance in the backseat, expecting to see a car seat or booster seat. But thereโs nothing back there.
โArenโt you supposed to have a booster seat for a little kid?โ I ask him.
He grins at me. โAbsolutely true. Ruby informed me last time she isย wayย too big for a car seat, and as usual, she was rightโso I took it out yesterday. The booster seat is coming tomorrow. And Iโm incredibly excited that I donโt have to break my back every time I strap her into it.โ
I pick at a loose thread on the drawstring of my scrubs. โItโs kind of hard to imagine you being aย dad. I think in my head, youโre still twenty.โ
โSometimes inย myย head, Iโm still twenty.โ He turns right at a red light. โThere are some days when Ruby asks for an extra cookie after sheโs already had way too many, and Iโm like, why the hell not? Cookies are great. Why do I have to be the cookie police?โ
โSo you give her the cookie?โ
โSometimes.โ He holds a finger to his lips. โDonโt tell my ex. Iโm trying to get joint custody, and I have a feeling itโs the kind of thing she would use against me.โ
โHow come you didnโt get it in the first place?โ That part surprises me.
Brady seems like heโd be a responsible parent.
โItโsโฆโ He slows to a stop at a red light. โItโs a long story. I donโt want to bore you with it.โ
I look out the passenger side window, trying to ignore the tight feeling in my chest. I donโt know who slashed my tires, but I have a distinct feeling that this was not a random event. They meant to slashย myย tires. And once the news hits who I really am, itโs only going to get worse.
I look over at Brady, and his brown eyes are pinned on the road. He glances over at me for a moment and smiles. Whatโs he going to say when he finds out? I donโt foresee any more rides home in my future.
Well, who cares? I wanted to get rid of him.
As he makes the turn onto my street, I can see the flashing red and blue lights all the way down the block. My heart leaps into my throat. Is that my house?
Oh God, I forgot to call Detective Barber back. But even so, would he show up at my doorstep with the flashing lights?
โWhatโs going on up there?โ Brady squints at the road. โIs that a police car by your house?โ
I swallow. โMaybe you should just let me out hereโฆโ
Brady keeps driving as if he hadnโt heard me. โDo you think itโs about the slashed tires? But how would they know about that? You didnโt call the police, did you, Nora?โ
โJust let me out here,โ I say, louder this time.
But of course, he doesnโt stop till he gets right in front of my house. And thereโs no doubt whatsoever that the police car is parked right by the walkway to my front door. His eyes are like saucers as he stares at the cop car, then back at me.
I leap out of his car the second he gets it in park, or even a few seconds before, if Iโm being honest. But heโs quick, and he gets out of the car right behind me. I grit my teeth, pushing back the urge to yell at him to go away. In his defense, he probably thinks heโs looking out for me.
โDr. Davis.โ Detective Barber is leaning against the cop car, his arms folded across over his protruding gut. I wonder how long heโs been waiting there. I wonder how long my neighbors have seen this stupid police car with flashing lights in front of my house. โCould we have a word?โ
I feel torn. Iโd like to go into my house so that the neighbors and Brady arenโt here to witness this whole conversation. But at the same time, I donโt want this detective in my house. This is the time when I need to lawyer up. I canโt keep letting him push me around, or Iโm going to end up right where my father is.
โDr. Davis?โ Barber says.
I finally find my voice. โWhat do you want?โ
โI think it would be better if we went inside your house,โ the detective says. โYou donโt want the whole neighborhood to hear this.โ He glances at Brady curiously. โYour boyfriend can stay if you want.โ
โI told you,โ I say through my teeth, โI donโt want to have another discussion with you without a lawyer present. Iโve answered all your questions.โ
โI was just wondering,โ he says, โif I could take a quick look around your house.โ
I feel like all the air has been sucked out of my body. โTake a look around my house?โ
He holds up his hands. โReal quick. Just me. Just looking around.โ
What does he think heโs going to find? Some girl chained up in my basement? Maybe I should just let him look. I have nothing to hide.
โHey,โ Brady says before I can answer. His voice is respectful but firm. โNora had a really hard day today. Sheโs been operating since five in the morning. And Iโm pretty sure you need a warrant to search her house. So maybe it would be better if you talk in the morning when she has a lawyer present?โ
Detective Barber gives me a look as if to say,ย Is this guy for real?ย Of course, if Brady had any clue what they were here to talk to me about, he might not have gotten in the middle of it. But the amazing part is that it works. Barber takes a step back, nodding his head.
โFine,โ he says. โWe can talk tomorrow morning with your lawyer present. Say, ten oโclock at the station?โ
โFine,โ I say. Now I just have to find a lawyer by ten oโclock. And figure out what the hell Iโm going to do about my morning surgeries. I donโt have time to be a murder suspect.
I feel like I canโt breathe until Detective Barber gets back in his car and drives away. Even after heโs gone, my fingers are shaking so much, Iโm having trouble getting the key in the lock to the door. This is unusual for me. Iโm a surgeon, for Godโs sake. I never have shaky hands.
Finally, Brady takes the key from me, fits it in the lock, and then leads me into the house. He puts his hand on my back and directs me to the sofa, where I sit down obediently. He rests his hand on top of mine and gives it a squeeze. โIโm going to get you some water, Nora.โ
I nod wordlessly.
I hear him clanging around my kitchen for long enough that Iโm almost tempted to go out there and ask if I need to help him find the sink. But then he comes back with a glass of water. I take it gratefully and gulp down half of it. It doesnโt help. I need something much stronger than water.
Brady settles down beside me on the sofa. โIโm not going to ask. But unless youโre looking for a divorce lawyer, I canโt help you out in that department.โ
โRight.โ I stare down at the little bubbles in the water. โItโs not a big deal.โ
โYou donโt have to tell me. Itโs none of my business.โ
But all of a sudden, Iย wantย to tell him. I want to tellย somebodyย whatโs going on. Iโve been suffering with this for a long time all by myself. And it doesnโt seem like itโs just going to go away.
โThose two women who were murdered.โ I take another swallow from the water glass. โYou know, the ones all over the news? The ones whoโฆ who had their hands cut off?โ
โYesโฆโ
โThey were my patients.โ
His eyes widen. โBoth of them?โ โYes.โ
โOh.โ He scratches at his brown hair. โWell, I guess thatโs a strange coincidence. But seriously, why would they thinkย youย had anything to do with it? Thatโs the stupidest thing Iโve ever heard in my whole life.โ
โBecauseโฆโ I rub at my knees. Thereโs a stain on the knee on the right. Probably some food. Possibly blood. โBecause like I said, their hands were cut off. The same thing the Handyman did to his victims.โ
Brady cocks his head to the side. โI donโt understand.โ
I could just leave it. Iโve kept this secret for twenty-six years. For twenty-six years, Iโve been Nora Davis, whose parents were killed tragically in a car accident. My grandmother wanted me to never tell a soul
โshe even moved with me to get away from the people who used to know who I was. But itโs like Iโve been living a lie. Like Iโve been an actress playing the lead role in my own life.
I look up at Brady. If anyone would be kind to me, it would be him.
Iโve got to tellย somebody.
โBecause,โ I finally say. โAaron Nierling is my father.โ
I donโt know how I expected Brady to react, but I didnโt expect him to start laughing. He laughs for several seconds before he sees the look on my face and realizes that I am absolutely, one-hundred percent serious. I can actually see the laughter drain out of his body.
โYouโre Aaron Nierlingโs daughter,โ he states. โYes.โ
โAndโฆโ Itโs almost adorable how confused he looks, if it wasnโt so awful. โSo you changed your name afterโฆ?โ
โWouldnโt you?โ
โI guessโฆโ He rubs at the back of his neck. โSo those two girls with their hands cut offโฆ They were both your patients. And the Handyman was… your dad?โ
โYes.โ
โHow come you never told me?โ
I cough. โAre you serious? Do you think I wanted everyone to know about that?โ
โYeah, but I wasnโt just anyone. I was your boyfriend.โ
โWe were dating for three months, Brady. Itโs not like we were married.โ
Heโs quiet for at least a minute, looking down at his hands. The only sound in the room is my heart thudding.
โJesus,โ he finally says. โYeah.โ
โSoโฆโ He raises his eyes to look into mine. โDid youโฆ?โ I inhale sharply. โDid I what?โ
His Adamโs apple bobs. โDid you kill them? Those girls?โ
And that is the moment when I realize that whatever I had with Brady Mitchell is over forever. I had hoped telling him would be the right thing to do, that it would be cathartic in some way. He liked me so much, I thought maybe he would be on my side. But I was wrong. I should never have said a word. Of course, it doesnโt matter if the story hits the news tomorrow, because he wouldโve found out then. But at least I wouldnโt have had to experience him looking at me likeย this.
I canโt even be angry about it. Itโs no less than what I would have expected. But I had hopedโฆ
โI didnโt kill anyone,โ I say quietly. โIโm not like him.โ
โBut youโre aย surgeonโyou cut people up for a living.โ God, itโs like heโs coming up with all the things that people are going to be saying about me tomorrow. All the reasons why I must be a psychotic killer, like my father. At least he has the good grace to look embarrassed. โSorry.โ
A muscle twitches in my jaw. โI think you should go.โ
For once, I want him to argue with me and beg me to let him stay like he usually does. But instead, he nods. โI think so too.โ
And thatโs that. Brady gets up and he leaves my houseโheโs barely able to look at me on the way out. And when he gets out the front door, he
makes a beeline for his car. He doesnโt look back before he gets in and drives off.