After the stressful day I have had, I can’t even contemplate cooking dinner. Instead, we order a pizza. There’s a cute moment when Shane and Josh discover they both love pepperoni on a pizza, and I swear, Shane looks like he’s going to tear up.

The conversation at dinner flows easily. I had forgotten how naturally charismatic Shane could be, and even though he’s trying a bit too hard, Josh doesn’t seem to notice. Josh has been a bit down ever since Tim was arrested, and this is one of the nicest dinners we’ve had since that night.

After Josh goes upstairs to finish his homework, Shane remains at the kitchen table, smiling to himself.

“What?” I say.

“He’s a nice kid,” he says. “Yes. He is.”

“He seems smart too.” He cocks his head. “Good at sports?” “Really good. You should see him hit a baseball.”

His eyes widen. “Could I?”

“Well, not now. But when the weather gets better. And Little League starts up in the spring. You can go to his games—I’m sure he’d love that.”

I’ve never seen anyone’s entire face light up at the prospect of attending a kids’ softball game, which are admittedly pretty boring. “Thank you, Brooke,” he says.

“For what?”

“For doing such a good job raising our son.”

I take a quick glance at the stairwell. “Careful what you say. The walls are thin around here.”

“Right. Sorry.” He clears his throat. “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate you putting me up here, and I’ll be out of your hair soon.”

I blink at him. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh.” He lifts a shoulder. “I forgot to mention. I heard from my lawyer, and apparently, my mom left me the farmhouse in her will. So after I get that place cleaned up, I can live there. I figure I’ll head over tomorrow.”

The farmhouse. The place where it all happened. The massacre.

“How could you want to live there?” I say. “After everything that happened…”

His eyebrows inch upward. “That was my home for eighteen years, Brooke. And honestly, it’s not like I have a lot of options.”

“You can stay here as long as you want.” “I don’t want to impose.”

“You won’t be.”

He looks down at the plate in front of him, stained with pizza grease. “I appreciate your generosity, but this is not my home. I need my own place. You get that, right?”

I get it, but I don’t like it. That farmhouse only appears in my nightmares these days. I can’t imagine how he could possibly want to live there. The thought of going anywhere near it makes me physically ill.

“If that’s what you want,” I finally say.

Just don’t ask me to visit.

We get everything cleaned up from dinner, and I go upstairs with Shane to collect some bedding for the guest bedroom. I grab him an extra blanket too, because it’s started snowing, and the room seems a bit chilly. He insists he can make his own bed, so I’ll leave him to it while I say good night to Josh.

Josh is done with his homework and is quietly reading in bed. He puts down his book when he sees me walk in.

“I brushed my teeth,” he tells me.

I settle down on the edge of his bed. For the first five years of Josh’s life, the two of us shared a bed out of necessity. (It was excellent for my love life.) And now the kid has his own room. “Good job. All the homework is done?”

“Yep.” He hesitates. “Mom?” “Yes?”

“Why is that guy Shane staying with us?”

“He’s an old friend.” The lie is getting easier and easier. “He’s just going to be staying a few nights. Why?”

Josh shrugs his skinny shoulders. “No reason.” “Don’t you like him?”

He hesitates, and my stomach sinks. Josh likes everyone. Although I thought it was possible he and Shane might not be the best of friends immediately, it never even slightly occurred to me that Josh wouldn’t like him.

“He’s okay,” Josh says carefully. “Was he mean to you?”

“No.”

“Is there something you don’t like about him?”

“No…” But again, there’s that hesitation. There’s something he’s not telling me, and it makes me crazy that I can’t get it out of him.

I don’t know what Shane could have done wrong though. I have had my eyes on them practically the entire time since Josh has been home. Shane has been great with him, considering he has zero experience with kids. I mean, Tim was a teacher. That was what he did for a living. Obviously, he was better at making friends with a ten-year-old boy than a guy who spent the last ten years of his life in prison.

“How long is he staying?” Josh asks.

“Like I said, not that long. Maybe a few nights.” Is it my imagination, or does Josh look relieved?

I don’t know what Josh has against Shane, but I’m not going to let on to Shane about any of this. He would be completely crushed. I have to pretend Josh thought he was great.

When I get into the guest bedroom, Shane has just finished putting the new sheets on the bed. He’s shaking out the blanket, but he lays it down when he sees me. “Hey,” he says.

“Hey.”

“So…” He rubs the scar on his forehead. “Did Josh say anything about me?”

I can’t tell him that Josh seemed happy at the idea he wouldn’t be staying long. “He liked you.”

It was the right thing to say. A smile stretches across Shane’s lips. “That’s awesome. You know, I was thinking, maybe until I get a job, I could be here when Josh gets home from school every day and keep an eye on him for you.”

“Oh…” I avert my eyes. “Well, the thing is, we already have somebody who is here every day. So…”

“But this would save you money. And I’d get to spend time with him.” “Let me think about it,” I say, even though I won’t. There’s no way

I’m getting rid of Margie, especially when Josh doesn’t seem that crazy about Shane. “Listen, there’s some clothing you could wear in the top drawer over there.”

Shane opens the top drawer of the dresser by the bed. He pulls out a men’s T-shirt, which I now realize has the word Syracuse on the front of it. It’s where Tim went to college, and from the look on Shane’s face, he knows it. “Is this Tim’s clothing?”

“Yes,” I admit. “It was in the house so…” Shane drops the T-shirt in disgust. “Great.”

“I’m sorry.” It hits me now how inappropriate this was. It didn’t seem like a bad idea before though. I mean, it’s just clothes. “I’ll get you something else to wear tomorrow.”

He lets out a sigh and drops onto the edge of the bed. “No, it’s fine. I can’t be picky. And it’s all just clothes.”

“I washed it,” I say weakly.

He looks down at his lap. “It’s my fault you were even in this position.

If I had protected you better from him that night…” “You tried to warn me.”

“I did…” He raises his eyes. “It kills me that he’s been taking advantage of you since you came here. I’ll never forgive myself for letting it happen.”

I settle down beside him on the bed. “It wasn’t your fault. You were in prison. Anyway, it worked out in the end.” I gently place a hand on his. “I’m glad you’re out now.”

He chuckles. “Me too.”

He looks down at my hand on his, and then his eyes rake over me. The longing on his face is unmistakable. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. The man has been in prison for a decade. He hasn’t even touched a woman in all that time.

And Shane is still very attractive. I used to swoon when I watched him running across the football field, and he’s even sexier now that he’s older. He’s more muscular than he was in high school—he must have worked out a lot in prison. He’s hard to resist.

But I can’t do this. And I better take my hand off his. Now.

When he notices I have withdrawn from him, he looks away. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

I try to keep my voice even. “It’s okay.”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable at all,” he says. “I’m not going to lie—when I look at you, I want to… but anyway, that’s my problem. Not yours. I promise you, I’m going to be a perfect gentleman while I’m staying here.”

“Thank you.” I smile at him. “And you shouldn’t have any problems in the romance department. You’re pretty hot.”

He laughs. “Am I? That’s good to know.”

“I’m just saying. I don’t think you’re going to have much trouble finding a woman to make up for lost time with.”

“Hey, I don’t want some random woman at a bar that I don’t care about.” He chews on his lower lip. “I mean, yeah, it’s been a long time. But I still want it to be with someone I care about. Someone important to me.”

“Shane…”

“Like the mother of my son…”

His words stir something inside of me. The mother of my son. Shane is something to me that nobody else can be. He is Josh’s biological father. After all these years, he is the only man who can make this family whole. He wants to be here with me, and our son will never be second best to him like I feared he would be to any other man I chose to marry.

“Brooke?” he says. His eyes are filled with unmistakable lust.

“You should get to have that,” I tell him. “You shouldn’t settle. You should have that special connection.”

When he leans forward and kisses me, I don’t stop him.