In 1964, a woman named Kitty Genovese was murdered.
Kitty was a twenty-eight-year-old bartender. She was raped and stabbed at approximately three in the morning about a hundred feet from her Queens apartment. She screamed for help, but while several neighbors heard her cry, nobody came to her aid. Her attacker, Winston Moseley, left her briefly and returned ten minutes later, at which point he stabbed her several more times and stole fifty dollars from her. She died from her knife wounds.
โKitty Genovese was attacked, raped, and murdered in front of thirty-eight witnesses,โ Professor Kindred announces to the lecture hall. โThirty-eight people saw her attack, and not one person came to her aid or called the police.โ
Our professor, a man in his sixties with hair that always seems to be sticking up, looks at each and every one of us, accusation in his eyes like we were the thirty-eight people who left that woman to die. โThis,โ he says, โis the bystander effect. Itโs a social psychology phenomenon in which individuals are less likely to offer help to a victim when there are other people present.โ
The students in the room are scribbling in their notes or typing on their laptops. I just stare at the professor.
โThink about it,โ Professor Kindred says. โOver three dozen people allowed a woman to be raped and murdered, and they just watched and did nothing. This perfectly demonstrates diffusion of responsibility in a group.โ I squirm in my seat, imagining what I would do in that situationโif I looked out my window and saw a man attacking a woman. I wouldnโt sit
back and do nothing, thatโs for damn sure. I would jump right out the window if I had to.
No. I wouldnโt do that. I have learned to control myself better than that. But I would call 911. I would go outside and bring a knife with me. I wouldnโt do anything with it, but it might be enough to scare off an attacker.
I still feel shaken thinking about that poor girl who was killed over half a century ago when I emerge from the lecture hall. When I get out onto the street, I almost walk right past Brock. He has to chase after me and grab my arm.
Of course. We made dinner plans.
โHey.โ He grins at me with the whitest teeth I have ever seen. Iโve never asked him if he gets them professionally whitened, but he must. Teeth canโt naturally be that whiteโitโs inhuman. โWeโre celebrating tonight, right? Your new job.โ
โRight.โ I manage a smile. โSorry.โ โAre you okay?โ
โIโm justโฆ Iโm shaken from the lecture I just had. We were learning about this woman in the โ60s who was raped in front of thirty-eight bystanders, who did nothing. How could something like that happen?โ
โKitty Genovese, right?โ Brock snaps his fingers. โI remember it from my own college psychology class.โ
โRight. And itโs awful.โ
โItโs bullshit though.โ He slides his hand into mine. His palm feels warm. โThe story was sensationalized by theย New York Times. There were way fewer witnesses than theย Timesย reported. And based on where the apartments were, most of them couldnโt see what was really happening and thought it was just a loversโ quarrel. And a bunch of themย didย call the police. I think she was being cradled by one of her neighbors when the ambulance came.โ
โOh.โ I feel slightly inadequate, the way I often do when Brock knows more about something than I do. Which happens a lot, actually. As far as I can tell, the guy knows just about everything. Itโs one of the many things that makes him so perfect.
โItโs not as sensational a story though, is it?โ Brock lets go of my hand and throws an arm around my shoulders. I catch a glimpse of our reflection in a store window, and I canโt help but think we look good together as a couple. We look like the kind of couple that would invite five hundred
guests to our wedding and then get a house with a white picket fence out in the suburbs and then proceed to fill it with children. โEither way, you shouldnโt feel bad about something that happened decades ago. Youโre justโฆ Youโre just a little too nice, you know?โ
Iโve always had this itch to help people who are in trouble. Unfortunately, it getsย meย into trouble sometimes. If only I were as nice as Brock thinks I amโhe has no idea. โSorry, I canโt help it.โ
โI guess thatโs why you want to become a social worker.โ He winks at me. โUnless I can talk you into a more lucrative career.โ
My last boyfriend was the one who convinced me to follow the career path to social workโso I could help people in need while staying within the confines of the law.ย You need to help everyone, Millie. It is what I love about you.ย He really understood me. Unfortunately, heโs not around anymore.
โAnyway.โ Brock squeezes my shoulders. โLetโs not think about women who were murdered in the โ60s. Tell me about your new job.โ
I fill him in on the details of the impressive Garrick penthouse. When I tell him about the view, the location, and the second floor, he lets out a low whistle.
โThat apartment mustโve cost a fortune,โ he says, as we step into the street, narrowly avoiding being sideswiped by a bike. As far as I can tell, bikers in the city have absolutely no regard for traffic lights or pedestrians. โI bet they paid like twenty million. At least.โ
โWow. You think?โ
โDefinitely. They better be paying you well.โ
โThey are.โ When Douglas discussed the hourly rate, I almost felt dollar signs popping up in my eyeballs.
โWhat did you say the guy who hired you was called?โ โDouglas Garrick.โ
โHey, heโs the CEO of Coinstock.โ Brock snaps his fingers. โI met him once when he hired my firm to help with a patent. Genuinely nice guy.โ
โYeah. He seemed nice.โ
He did seem nice. But I canโt stop thinking about that closed door on the second floor. The wife who couldnโt even come out to meet me. As excited as I am about this job, something about that makes me uneasy.
โAnd you know what else?โ Brock pulls me into a crosswalkโthe light is flashing, about to turn red, and we make it across just in time. โThe
building is only like five blocks away from where I live.โ
Hint, hint.
I knew about the proximity of the penthouse to Brockโs apartment, of course. I squirm, feeling just as uncomfortable as I did in the classroom. Brock has become a dog with a bone. He wants me to move in with him, and he wonโt seem to let it go. I just canโt seem to shake the feeling that if he really knew me, he wouldnโt want that. I love being with Brock, and I donโt want to ruin it.
โBrockโฆโ I say.
โOkay, okay.โ He rolls his eyes. โLook, I donโt mean to pressure you. If youโre not ready to move in, thatโs fine. But for the record, I think we make a good team. And you spend half your nights at my place anyway, right?โ
โUh-huh,โ I say in the most noncommittal way possible.
โAlsoโฆโ He flashes those pearly whites at me. โMy parents would like to meet you.โ
Okay, now Iโm going to throw up. Even though heโs been bugging me to move in with him, it still didnโt occur to me that he would have told his parents about me. But of course he did. He probably calls them once a week, on Sunday at 8pm, and fills them in on all the pertinent details of his perfect life.
โOh,โ I say weakly.
โAnd Iโd like to meet your parents as well,โ he adds.
This might be a great time to tell him Iโm estranged from my parents.
But the words donโt come.
This is so hard. That last guy I dated knew everything about me from the start, so I never had to reveal my complicated pastโthere was never a terrifying moment where I laid everything out on the table. And like I said, Brock is soโฆ perfect. The only things about him that arenโt perfect are little insignificant details, like once he left the toilet seat up at my apartment. And even that is something heโs only done once.
The problem with Brock is that heโs ready to settle down. And even though Iโm the same age, Iโm not there yet. He doesnโt want to wait either. Heโs got a great job at the top law firm, and he makes more than enough to support a family. Even though his last cardiology visit gave him a clean bill of health, he worries that heโs not going to live out the expected lifespan for a Caucasian man in this country. He wants to get married and have kids while he can still enjoy it.
Meanwhile, I feel like Iโm still in the process of growing up. Iโm still in school, after all. Iโm not ready to get married. I justโฆ I canโt.
โItโs okay.โ He stops walking for a moment to look at meโa man walking behind us almost collides with us, and he curses as he goes on his way. โI donโt want to rush you. But you need to know, Iโm crazy about you, Millie.โ
โIโm crazy about you, too,โ I say.
He takes both my hands in his as he stares into my eyes. โActually, I kind of love you.โ
My heart speeds up a bit. Heโs told me before that heโs crazy about me, but heโs never told me he loved me before. Even with a โkind ofโ modifier.
I open my mouth, not entirely sure what Iโm going to say. But before any words can come out, I get that prickling sensation in the back of my neck.
Why do I feel like somebodyโs watching me? Am I losing my mind? โWell,โ I finally say, โthatโs kind of sweet.โ
Iโm not ready to say it back. I canโt take that next step in our relationship when thereโs so much about me that Brock still doesnโt know. Thankfully, he doesnโt push the issue.
โCome on,โ he says. โLetโs go get some sushi.โ
At some point, I probably also need to tell him that I donโt like sushi.