Today I am packing up my stuff to move.
The truth is, I still donโt feel great about moving in with Brock, but if Xavier Marin is living in that apartment building, then I will not be. And I have to admit, it wonโt be torture staying in Brockโs two-bedroom Upper West Side apartment. It isnโt exactly a penthouse, but itโs gorgeous. It even has a porch thatย doesnโtย double as a fire escape. Also, when it gets hot during the summer, he has air-conditioning. Air-conditioning! Itโs the height of luxury.
Brock drives me to the Bronx in his Audi. It doesnโt have a ton of trunk space, but fortunately, I donโt have a ton of stuff. One of the bonuses of this apartment was that it came partially furnished, so most of the stuff in it isnโt mine. Whatever doesnโt fit in the trunk and back seat, I can leave behind.
โIโm so glad weโre moving in together,โ Brock tells me as we navigate the streets to my apartment for the last time. โThis is going to be great.โ
The smile on my face feels like plastic. โYes.โ
How can I do this? How can I move in with Brock when he doesnโt know the truth about my past? Itโs not fair to him. And it wonโt be fair to me when he finds out and kicks me to the curb.
I am still working for the Garrick familyโfor now. The more I thought about it, the less certain I felt that Douglas had been watching me that day. After all, he was talking to his mistress, and he didnโt seem focused on me at all. I jumped to conclusions. And learning my boss is having an affair is no reason to give up a lucrative job, especially since finding a new one is always difficult for me. I may be moving in with Brock, but it would be a
mistake to become dependent on him. I need my own incomeโjust in case he does kick me to the aforementioned curb.
At a red light, Brock reaches out and rests his hand on my knee. He smiles at me, and he looks oh so handsomeโlike movie-star handsomeโ and all I can think is that this is a bad idea. Heโs making a terrible mistake and he doesnโt even know it. And part of me wishes he would take his damn hand off my knee.
He hasnโt told me he loves me again since that day at the restaurant. I can tell heโs itching to say it, but heโs said it twice now, and I have said it zero times. If he says it again, Iโll either have to say it back orโฆ Well, I have to say it back if I want this relationship to continue. Thereโs no question anymore.
โHey.โ Brock pulls his hand away as we turn onto my street. โWhatโs going on here?โ
There is a police car with flashing lights parked in front of my building. I press my lips together to refrain from telling him that police cars are parked here all the time. My stomach turns as I wonder if thereโs a chance they could be here for me. Maybe Xavier changed his mind about pressing charges.
Oh God, are they going to take me away in handcuffs?
โBrock,โ I say urgently. โMaybe we should get out of here. Come back another time.โ
He crinkles his nose. โIโm not driving back to the Bronx again tomorrow. Come on, itโll be fine.โ
Just as Iโm about to have a full-blown panic attack, the door to my building swings open, and an officer is leading a man onto the street, his hands cuffed behind his back. Looks like they arenโt here for me after all. Itโs probably another drug bust.
And then I see the scar above the left eyebrow of the man in handcuffs.
Itโsย Xavier.
I roll down my window just in time to hear Xavier shout at the officer leading him to the police car: โYouโve got to believe me! Those drugsโฆ I never even saw them before. They arenโt mine!โ
Even from where weโre parked, I can see the officer roll his eyes. โYeah, thatโs what everyone says when we find a shitload of heroin in their apartment.โ
A second before they get to the patrol car, Xavierโs eyes fill with panic. Even though he has to realize itโs a stupid move, he shakes off the cop and starts running down the block. Of course, heโs got his hands cuffed behind his back, which means he isnโt going to get far. The policeman catches up to him a few seconds later, and I watch as he gets thrown to the ground.
This is the best show Iโve seen in months.
Brockโs eyes widen at the scene unfolding in front of us. โJesus Christ.
Youโre lucky youโre moving out of here.โ
โThatโs him,โ I breathe. โThatโs the man who assaulted me.โ โWow. So he was on drugs too? I guess thatโs no surprise.โ
I didnโt get the sense that Xavier was on drugs during our interactions. He always seemed completely sober. But if they found it in his apartmentโฆ better yet, if there were a lot of drugs found thereโenough to imply he was dealingโheโs not coming back anytime soon.
โI donโt have to move,โ I blurt out. Brockโs mouth falls open. โWhat?โ
โHe wonโt be living in the building anymore,โ I point out. โSo I donโt have to leave.โ
Brockโs lower lip juts out. โI donโt understand. Donโt youย wantย to live with me?โ
That is an incredibly tricky question. Yes, it would be nice to have the extra space and the air-conditioning and the doorman to keep out burglars. But thatโs not a good reason to move in with your boyfriend.
โI do,โ I say. โSomeday. Butโฆ not yet.โ โI see.โ His tone is icy.
โIโm so sorry.โ I reach out to squeeze his hand, but he doesnโt squeeze mine back. โIโm just the sort of person who needs my own space. Thatโs all.โ
His blue eyes meet mine. โIs that really all?โ
I imagine Brockโs parents are the kind of people who do a background check on any woman his son would move in with. Hell, they may have already done one. But Iโm betting they looked up Millie Calloway, which was my only saving grace. Itโs only a matter of time before they find out my first name is actually Wilhelmina, and then Brock will find out everything.
Iโve got to come clean before that happens.
But with that asshole Xavier in jail, Iโve given myself a short reprieve.