It’s been two weeks since Lydia compared Cassie unfavorably to Joel’s ex-girlfriend, and it’s easy for her to forget it ever happened. Especially when Cassie and Joel are sitting together at a cozy round table in a dimly lit comedy club downtown, sipping on cold beers, his left arm encircling her shoulders. She feels safe with his arm around her shoulders. He’s big and warm and she loves the muscles in his chest.
Cassie thinks she might be falling in love. Just a little bit.
But then she thinks about Grandma Bea and Grandpa Marv. The sweet and romantic story about their chance meeting on the subway platform. The way they loved each other for nearly fifty years—so much that Bea was convinced Marv had come back as a ghost to keep her company in the bookstore. Nobody could tell her otherwise.
She doesn’t feel that way about Joel. If he were to die, she wouldn’t ask that he comes back as a ghost. Just the opposite—the last thing she needs right now is to be haunted by some guy. She knows it’s early in their relationship, but she wonders if she’ll ever feel that way about him. If someday their grandchildren will say that Grandpa Joel and Grandma Cassie had the greatest love story of all time.
Right now, it’s hard to imagine.
She needs to get to know Joel better. They need to take their relationship to the next level. And there’s one very good way Cassie can think of to do that.
Cassie never told Joel how long it’s been since she’s had sex, but she hinted at the fact that it’s been a while. He’s been really respectful about it, but she knows he’s waiting for her to say the word. If she waits another few weeks, he may start pushing. And honestly, she’s not sure what she’s waiting for anymore.
She’s ready.
Joel laughs at a joke from the standup comedian at the front of the room. The comedian is picking on a couple at the front of the room, joking about how much younger the woman is than the man. The word “sugar daddy” is used, and also some less nice words. She’s glad they’re sitting all the way in the back, so the comedian doesn’t notice how much younger Cassie is than her date. She doesn’t want a comedian to pick apart their deficiencies.
“Hey,” she whispers to him. “Hey,” he whispers back.
His breath smells like the Corona he’s been drinking. She leans forward and presses her lips against his. He’s surprised for a moment, then relaxes into the kiss. He’s a very good kisser. She’s not sure if she’s a good kisser or not, but he does seem to enjoy kissing her.
“Do you want me to spend the night tonight?” she asks when their lips part for air.
He sucks in a breath. “Yeah. Of course. That would be great.” “Bookland doesn’t open until ten,” she says. “So I’ll have time to
get home and change. Do you have an early shift tomorrow?” “Eight.” He grins at her. “But I wouldn’t care if it started at five.” She returns his smile. “Okay, then.”
They’re both slightly tipsy when they hop in an Uber, and they arrive at his apartment fifteen minutes later. His apartment is big, considering it’s just him living here—two bedrooms. Cassie wonders if Francesca ever lived here. One thing she can say for sure is there’s no sign of a woman’s touch in this place. The furniture is bare-bones, the bookcases stuffed with medical books—the only sign of luxury is the large, high-definition television in the living room.
“Drink?” Joel asks her as he flicks on the lights.
She kicks aside some old sneakers abandoned on the ground. She thinks they’re the sneakers he wears at the hospital, and she imagines bacteria and viruses emanating from the laces.
“Sorry.” He smiles sheepishly. “I would have tidied up if I knew I was going to have company.”
“That’s all right,” Cassie says. She likes the slight disorder of his place. Sometimes Joel seems a little too perfect and put-together—it’s nice to see he can be a slob sometimes too.
“So that drink…?” She smiles. “I’ll pass.”
He hesitates for only a moment before pushing her gently against a wall and kissing her. She had a feeling they wouldn’t make it to the bedroom before things got started. He can’t wait another moment.
As Joel kisses her, Cassie notices the blinds on his window are open. Even though the lights in the living room aren’t particularly bright, they’re much brighter than the darkness outside. Anyone outside could easily see inside their window.
“Joel.” Cassie pulls away from him. “Let’s shut the lights.” He catches his breath, his face flushed. “What?”
“It’s just…” She reaches for the light switch. “I want to turn the lights off.”
“But I want to look at you…”
“Yes, but…” She glances at the window. “I feel like we’re on display in here…”
He laughs. “You think someone is spying on us?”
She doesn’t crack a smile. How can she explain to him the continued feeling she’s gotten that someone is watching her? He’d think she’s crazy.
But his eyes soften at the look on her face. “I’ll shut the blinds, okay?”
“Okay,” she agrees.
And she doesn’t feel comfortable until all three blinds in the living room have been lowered, the outside world shut off.
