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Chapter no 4 – NATALIE

The Coworker

โ€œNATALIE,ย I just want you to know, I love your products.โ€

Iโ€™ve got Carmen Salinas on the phone from Happy Healthy, a local wellness store in Quincy. Even though her store is tiny, sheโ€™s a valuable customer. I do whatever I can to give her discounts on products because full price is hard for her.

โ€œIโ€™m so glad,โ€ I say.

โ€œCollahealth is the best,โ€ Carmen continues. โ€œIโ€™ve been using it myself the last few weeks and I swear to God, I look ten years younger!โ€

โ€œI know!โ€ I say. โ€œI think itโ€™s absolutely a miracle. I wouldnโ€™t go a day without using it!โ€

โ€œMe either!โ€

Collahealth is our newest product, which is a capsule containing a special formulation of collagen. I swear, this stuff is magic. I barely even have to sell it. It sells itself.

Actually, thatโ€™s not entirely true. I still have to work pretty hard. โ€œSo youโ€™d like another box then?โ€ I ask.

โ€œMake it two!โ€

I scribble down the details for the sale and arrange for additional boxes to be sent to Carmenโ€™s store. All the while, the little turtle figurine stares up

at me. I rubbed off a little more of that dark red material that was adhering to its surface. If it really was a gift from Dawn, Iโ€™m surprised she wouldnโ€™t have cleaned it off. Sheโ€™s obsessed with cleanliness. Iโ€™m tempted to toss it in the trash bin, but if it was a gift from Dawn, I donโ€™t want her to be offended and think I donโ€™t like it.

Except Iย donโ€™tย like it. It gives me the creeps. And what on earth was that dark red material that stained my fingers? It almost looks likeโ€ฆ

Like blood.

Ugh, I canโ€™t let my imagination run away from me. There isย notย a blood- stained turtle figurine on my desk. Itโ€™s probably justโ€ฆ I donโ€™t know, paint that rubbed off from some other figurine that was packed with it. That makes way, way more sense than blood.

Still, the turtle is creeping me out.

Finally, I nudge the turtle with my pinky over to the corner of my desk and turn it so that itโ€™s looking away from me, at the wall of my cubicle. Thereโ€”thatโ€™s better.

Itโ€™s almost noon and Dawn still hasnโ€™t shown up at work. Iโ€™ve called her two more times. Sent yet another text message. I donโ€™t know what to do. She mentioned her mother lives out in Beverly, but I donโ€™t know how to contact her. Steve in HR probably has the number. I donโ€™t know if heโ€™s allowed to give it out, but Iโ€™m sure I could charm him into handing it over. But am I overreacting? Dawn is a few hours late to work. But there was that urgent email from her yesterdayโ€”she was upset enough about something to contact both me and her boss about โ€œa matter of great importance.โ€ And then that strange phone callโ€ฆ

Help me.

At the time, I thought she sounded hysterical. But now that several hours have passed, Iโ€™m not so sure anymore. Maybe Dawn is fine. Maybe it was just a customer on the phone. And sheโ€™s got that meeting with Seth at two, so Iโ€™m sure sheโ€™ll turn up by then.

Anyway, I canโ€™t think about this right now. Iโ€™ve got a podcast interview in fifteen minutes that Iโ€™ve been preparing for all week.

After I hang up with Carmen, I grab my personal laptop that I brought with me to work this morning and head for the conference room. Just as Iโ€™m exiting my cubicle, I run smack into Caleb McCullough, who was coming to see me.

โ€œHey, Nat. Lunch?โ€

Caleb is his usual slightly rumpled but incredibly cute self. Caleb never wears a tie, and I donโ€™t think that white dress shirt has ever seen the hot end of an iron, but itโ€™s not like heโ€™s in sales and has to deal with people. Seth hired Caleb a few months ago to work on updating our website and setting it up to drive sales through the website itself. He comes to the office a couple of days a week and usually works in an empty cubicle.

Also, weโ€™ve been dating for nearly two months.

โ€œIโ€™m kind of busy.โ€ I smile apologetically. โ€œIโ€™ve got that podcast interview in fifteen minutes.โ€

โ€œOh, right.โ€ Caleb nods. โ€œGood luck with that. Youโ€™ll be great.โ€

He smiles at me when he wishes me good luck. Caleb is just slightly above average in looksโ€”tall and lanky with baggy eyesโ€”but when he smiles, it transforms him. He is movie star-level handsome when he smiles. The first time he smiled at me, I was gone.

But in the last (almost) two months, I have discovered a lot of other qualities about Caleb that I adore, besides his dazzling smile. Heโ€™s a hard worker, a whiz at computers, funny as hell, and most importantly, heโ€™s a good guy. Whatever else you can fake, itโ€™s hard to fake being a genuinely kind person. Itโ€™s also exceedingly rare.

Although what I like best about Caleb is the way he looks at me. Like he canโ€™t quite believe his luck.

Iโ€™ve dated a lot of guys in my life. Too many, probably. And my last relationship was a complete disaster that made me seriously worry for my safety. But for the first time in thirty years, I feel like I might have met The One. Weโ€™ve only been together for a short time, but sometimes you donโ€™t need long to know. My grandparents dated for only one month before getting engaged. And they were married for sixty years.

Not that Caleb and I are getting engaged any time soon. I mean, we havenโ€™t even slept together yet. But I could see it happening. I could see myself spending my life with this man. And Iโ€™m ready to make that kind of commitment. Caleb is ready too. His father died when he was young, and itโ€™s made him eager to start a family. He told me heโ€™s just waiting for the right womanโ€”hint, hint.

So I allow Caleb to pull me closer to him, pressing his lips against mine under the flickering fluorescent lights. Itโ€™s an office kiss, but itโ€™s enough to make me tingle down to my toes. Sometimes the most chaste kisses are the s*xiest ones.

โ€œI had a great time last night,โ€ I murmur.

He beams at me. โ€œMe too. You have no ideaโ€ฆโ€

Caleb came over for dinner last night at my place. I ordered in Chinese food, and then we had a pretty steamy make-out session. But he was a total gentleman and didnโ€™t push me to go further or spend the night. Which was pretty classy, considering I absolutely would have said yes if he did. Caleb isย respectful. Itโ€™s another rare quality.

Even though I was aย littleย sad when he went home at only 9:30. โ€œHey,โ€ I say to him. โ€œYou havenโ€™t seen Dawn today, have you?โ€ โ€œWho?โ€

โ€œThe woman in the cubicle next to mine.โ€ Heโ€™s still looking at me blankly, so I add, โ€œThe one with the really short hairโ€”like a military cut? Really into turtles?โ€

โ€œOh.โ€ He snaps his fingersโ€”everybody knows about Dawn and her turtles. โ€œRight. No, I havenโ€™t. Why?โ€

I consider telling him about Dawn being late this morning and the strange phone call. But Iโ€™m trying to show him my best side at this point in our relationship, and I donโ€™t want him to think Iโ€™m a worrywart. Plus Iโ€™m going to be late for my podcast interview.

โ€œNothing,โ€ I say. โ€œNever mind.โ€

He reaches for my hand and laces his fingers through mine. Then he gives me a squeeze. โ€œKnock โ€˜em dead on the podcast, Nat.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ll do my best.โ€ Before I forget, I reach into the box of T-shirts and pull out an extra large that I earmarked for him. โ€œHereโ€™s your T-shirt for Saturday, by the way.โ€

I hold it up against his chest, to make sure itโ€™s the right size. Caleb is tall, but it doesnโ€™t look like the shirt will be too short on him. It looks perfect.

โ€œAppreciate it,โ€ he says. โ€œI canโ€™t wait to run circles around you.โ€

I smack him playfully on the shoulder. โ€œYou wish. Iโ€™ve been training.โ€ โ€œAnd Iโ€™m justย naturallyย great at running.โ€

I laugh, and he winks at me as he tugs the T-shirt out of my grip and then returns to his workstation. I truly wish I could go to lunch with him today. Iโ€™ve been feeling strung out all morning after that strange phone call, and it would be nice to go out for a bit and forget my troubles. But Iโ€™ve got to do this interview. Itโ€™s really important.

When I get to the conference room, I take out my compact from my purse and give myself a once-over before starting the interview. I realize itโ€™s ridiculous to worry about how I look for a podcast interview, but I always feel more confident when I know that I look good. Sure enough, my lipstick is still intact from this morning, my mascara isnโ€™t caked in the corner of my eye, and my skin looks pinker and healthier than this morning.

I angle the compact to get a quick look at my hairโ€”my roots are starting to show. For my entire childhood, I had perfect golden blond hair, then sometime during my early twenties, it evolved into this washed-out dirty blond color. But itโ€™s nothing a trip to the salon wonโ€™t fixโ€”Magda works wonders. I hope I have time to go before the race on Saturday.

Just as Iโ€™m shoving my compact back in my purse, the call pops up on my laptop. The name flashing on the screen is Sherri Bell. I connect the call and plaster a smile on my face, even though Sherri canโ€™t see me. Again, it doesnโ€™t matter. When youโ€™re smiling, people can hear it in your voice. I always smile during my sales callsโ€”smile before you dial.

โ€œNatalie!โ€ Sherri sounds like sheโ€™s smiling too. She has a great voice.

Very perky, like the girl next door. โ€œAre you ready?โ€ โ€œSo ready,โ€ I say.

Iโ€™ve done several podcast interviews in the past, so I feel relatively experienced with them. Usually, I find a quiet place to set up, like the conference room, and I invested in a decent mic so listeners can actually hear me. This is the fifth podcast interview Iโ€™ve done to promote my 5K, so I shouldnโ€™t be nervous at all.

But something about this entire day is making me edgy.

โ€œToday we have Natalie Farrell joining us,โ€ Sherriโ€™s voice pipes up through the speakers. โ€œNatalie has organized a 5K run this Saturday to benefit a foundation doing research in cerebral palsy.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s right, Sherri.โ€

โ€œNow, Natalie, I hear you have quite a few people participating in this charity run?โ€

I clear my throat. The key to talking on podcasts is not to go on too long. You want it to be a conversation, not a monologue. โ€œYes, thatโ€™s right. I work at a fabulous company called Vixed, which sells nutritional supplements, and almost all of my coworkers will be running, as well as many people in the community. Weโ€™ve raised a lot of money so far and are still soliciting donations.โ€

โ€œAnd this is not the first time youโ€™ve done this, right?โ€

โ€œItโ€™s my fifth time. And we have more people participating this year than any other year previously.โ€

โ€œAmazing.โ€ Sherri pauses. โ€œNow tell me a little bit about this charity. I hear itโ€™s very meaningful to you.โ€

I am vaguely aware that Sherri has asked me a question and I need to answer it, but something has distracted me. Before starting the podcast, I put my phone on silent and placed it on the conference table next to my laptop. Now the phone is vibrating with an incoming call. I look down at the screenโ€”the call is from a blocked number.

Like this morning.

Help me.

โ€œNatalie?โ€ Sherriโ€™s voice startles me out of my distraction. โ€œAre you okay?โ€

โ€œYes, yes.โ€ Thank God she can edit this prior to the broadcast. Iโ€™m desperate to take the call, but I recognize how incredibly rude it would be, so I let it go to voicemail. โ€œSorry about that. What was your question?โ€

โ€œI was just wondering why this charity is so close to your heart.โ€

โ€œWellโ€ฆโ€ I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I always get choked up during this part, but at least it takes my mind off the mystery phone call. โ€œMy best friend growing up had cerebral palsy. She struggled with it a lot. Unfortunately, sheโ€™s no longer with us. So this is in Ameliaโ€™s honor.โ€

โ€œOh my. I can hear how much you must miss her. Iโ€™m sure sheโ€™s looking down on you and grateful for what a good friend you were and still continue to be.โ€

โ€œYes. Iโ€ฆ I hope so.โ€

I take another deep breath, struggling to get my composure back. Itโ€™s hard to talk about Amelia, but sheโ€™s the reason Iโ€™m doing this. That always needs to be said.

We spend the next fifteen minutes talking more about the charity itself and the details of the run. This Saturday is promising to be a beautiful day, and weโ€™re going to have a great showing at Florian Hall, which is the start and the end point of the run.

I expect it will go off without a hitch.

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