TWO MONTHS EARLIER
To: Rhonda Schiff From: Dawn Schiff Subject: Advice
Dear Mother,
What is the best way to get a coworker to like you better? Do you have any strategies I could use?
Sincerely, Dawn
To: Dawn Schiff From: Rhonda Schiff Subject: Re: Advice
Who are we talking about? A man?
To: Rhonda Schiff From: Dawn Schiff Subject: Re: Advice
Dear Mother,
No, this coworker is a woman. Sincerely,
Dawn
To: Dawn Schiff From: Rhonda Schiff Subject: Re: Advice
Who cares if some woman likes you? It’s probably a lost cause, so don’t even bother. Anyway, you need a man. You’re not getting any younger. Also, I’m going to need a little extra money this month. About $2,000 should cover it, but more would be better. The car broke down.
To: Rhonda Schiff From: Dawn Schiff Subject: Re: Advice
Dear Mother,
I’m sorry, but I can’t. My rent is higher in Quincy, and I don’t have much extra. I could send $1,000 more this month, but
that is the maximum. Sincerely,
Dawn
To: Dawn Schiff From: Rhonda Schiff Subject: Re: Advice
You really can’t afford an extra two thousand dollars after all I put up with from you? Constantly calling me and whining about how you have no friends. I wish I had a dollar for every hour I listened to you going on and on about those goddamn turtles. You can’t even give your own mother a little extra money one month?
To: Rhonda Schiff From: Dawn Schiff Subject: Re: Advice
Dear Mother,
I’m afraid I can’t. I apologize. Sincerely,
Dawn
To: Dawn Schiff From: Rhonda Schiff Subject: Re: Advice
Well, I can’t believe how ungrateful you are. Don’t bother asking me for any advice ever again.
To: Mia Hodge From: Dawn Schiff
Subject: Re: Greetings
Dear Mia,
I must be desperate because I emailed my mother to get her advice. Not that your advice hasn’t been great, but I need to try something different.
I’ve tried smiling more at Natalie and being as nice as I possibly can, but it’s not working. I don’t know for sure she’s the one who threw out my turtle cupcakes, but I have a strong suspicion. And even if she didn’t do it and it was all a terrible accident, she was still mean to me when I tried to come to the party.
She has also given me misinformation about two other meetings. I’ve now gotten in the habit of calling Seth’s secretary, just to make sure I don’t miss them.
I considered trying to talk to Seth again, but he won’t do anything. Even if I had evidence that she threw out my cupcakes, he would simply tell me to deal with it myself. Or worse, he would take her side.
I’ve got to do something about this. I’ve got to turn Natalie from enemy to friend.
Unfortunately, emailing my mother for advice was a big mistake. I hadn’t emailed her in months, and I haven’t called her in even longer. When I first moved out of my parents’ house up in Beverly, I used to call home once a week. I
always dreaded it though. Right before the call, my stomach would twist up in knots and I wouldn’t even be able to eat anything. You know how my mother can be, and she’s a million times worse now.
Even emailing my mother made me nervous—so nervous, I could barely eat dinner. Tonight’s color was yellow. I made yellow Spanish rice with corn mixed in. But mostly I pushed it around my plate.
Anyway, she didn’t have any helpful advice. Not only that, but she started pressuring me to give her more money. Did I tell you that I’ve been sending my mother checks every month? Just enough to help her get by now that my father is gone. She didn’t ask me to start doing it, but if I’m ever late, she does call me up and ask me when the check is coming.
I couldn’t tell her that I’m making less money at Vixed than at my last job. I never even told her why I left that job.
My mother didn’t like hearing I couldn’t give her any extra money though. That’s when I decided not to contact her again.
Instead, I looked on the internet for ideas.
I found an article listing ways to get people to like you. Some of the stuff was obvious. Be empathetic. Well, of course. Make them feel good. Naturally. Smile. I knew that one.
There were a lot of tips about body language. Besides smiling, the article recommended tilting your head toward the other person. The science behind this is that evolutionarily, tilting your head exposes your carotid artery so you’re letting the other person know that you aren’t looking for a fight. You can also touch the other person to establish a bond.
They also mentioned eye contact. You know I’m terrible at eye contact. I don’t know why, but it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Sometimes I force myself to look at the person’s nose, but meeting their eyes is virtually impossible for me. You’re the only person I can ever make eye contact with.
The article suggested asking the other person about herself and trying to find things that interest them. I could do that with Natalie. I know she likes turtles like I do, so we could talk about that, but I suspect there are other things she likes that we can talk about as well. The article also mentioned flattery. That would be an easy one since Natalie has so many good qualities.
After reading through the article, my neck felt tense and uncomfortable. I’ll do what I need to do to try to get Natalie to like me back, but none of those suggestions in the article are things that come easily to me. It will be a lot of effort.
Honestly, if I didn’t have you to talk to, I don’t know what I would do. Do you think I might be able to come out to visit you and George in Palo Alto soon? Spending a week away from here will make all the difference. Please let me know when a good time to visit would be!
Sincerely, Dawn Schiff
To: Dawn Schiff From: Mia Hodge
Subject: Re: Greetings
We would absolutely love to have you, but my work is insanely busy right now, and George’s parents are flying out this weekend. It may not be the best time. Could we talk about it in a few weeks? I would love to see you!
Also, I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but don’t give your mother any more money! And for God’s sake, don’t ask her for advice!
XXO
Mia
