To: Mia Hodge From: Dawn Schiff Subject: Greetings
Dear Mia,
Today was my first day at my new job that I was telling you about.
I wish I could say it was easy, but you know me. You know I’m shy. I have that in common with turtles—they are naturally shy animals. Not to say that they don’t have any personality, because they certainly do, but most turtles prefer to stay in their own environment. They don’t want to be played with. And when faced with any kind of threat, their first reaction isn’t to attack. It’s to retract into their shells and hide. Sound familiar?
My life would be easier if I had a shell like a turtle does. Remember when you helped me build that shell out of cardboard boxes? I gathered the rocks at the park and we glued them onto the boxes together in my living room. It didn’t look real, of course—we were only seven years old. But when I was having a bad day, I had a place to hide.
How long did that shell last? A week? Two? I just remember coming home one day and it was gone. My mother had dismantled it while I was at school, and threw it in the
trash. She ripped it to shreds so there was no chance of possibly reconstructing it. She said to me: This is why you only have one friend, Dawn.
As if I need another friend besides you. I just wish you didn’t live across the entire country right now.
The closest thing I currently have to a shell is my round tortoiseshell glasses, which I purchased about a year ago. I don’t think you’ve seen them. Don’t worry—they’re not made of real tortoise shells.
The company I’m working for is called Vixed. They sell natural vitamin supplements or some such items. I’m sure I’ll learn more about it soon, although all I’m doing is accounting so it’s not necessary to know the details of all their operations. I received a three-inch thick packet in the mail about the company’s products, although it was sadly lacking in data about their efficacy. Perhaps I could suggest some randomized controlled studies along those lines? I’m trying to think of ways to make myself more useful.
My new boss Seth took me around to meet everyone in the morning. I only met Seth once before today, when he interviewed me. When I met him, I got a good feeling about him. He’s forty-something, very friendly in a way that a turtle is definitely not, and he seemed as enthusiastic as he possibly could be about me coming to work as the company’s accountant.
But today Seth seemed different. He was more charming the day we met—all smiles and excited about every little thing I had to say. Today, he seemed distracted. He rushed me around the office, not giving me a chance to remember anyone’s name or do anything more than wave a quick hello. He looked at his watch five times while taking me around. Also, when I asked him questions, he didn’t seem to know many of the answers. It was rather disappointing.
For example, I asked him how often the refrigerator was cleaned. He looked surprised. So I explained to him that many bacteria such as Listeria can easily grow at cold temperatures. I had quite a lot of data on it, but when I tried to
share those data with Seth, he didn’t seem to be interested. He just mumbled something about asking the janitorial staff. Then he said, “Jesus, Dawn.”
I was beginning to feel like Seth was annoyed at me because that’s what my father always used to say when I would do something to annoy him. Jesus, Dawn. He said it a lot. Practically every day.
The last stop on our tour was my cubicle. At my last job, I had my own office, although it was tiny and didn’t have a window. Still, that was preferable to this tiny cubicle. There isn’t anywhere to hide in a cubicle. Also, the chair they provided me didn’t look very comfortable. It did not have adequate lumbar support. I’ll have to ask Seth about alternate seating options.
Seth introduced me to the woman working in the cubicle next to mine. I’m glad he did, because I have trouble introducing myself to people. I always feel awkward about it, and then if I wait too long, it’s too late. You can’t introduce yourself to somebody when you’ve been working with them for a month. So I was happy that Seth did the introductions.
He told me her name is Natalie. And she’s our best salesperson. He told me if there was anything I needed to know, Natalie would be the person to ask.
I committed her name to memory. Natalie, Natalie, Natalie. She was wearing headphones with a microphone attached, but she pulled it off for the introductions. She even stood up, teetering on a pair of striking red pumps that neither of us would ever even consider wearing. She’s about our age, maybe thirty, and extremely pretty. The thing I liked best about her was her hair. It was yellow, like the color of corn silk, and went all the way down to her mid-back. It looked so soft and silky, I almost wanted to reach out and run my fingers through it.
Remember when I reached out to touch Becky Doyle’s hair, and she scratched my face so badly, I had a red mark there for months? Now I know better.
Instead, I touched my own hair. That wasn’t nearly as satisfying. My hair is the same dull brown color it’s always been, and these days, I’ve been keeping it cropped close to my head. I’ll have to attach a photo. But even if I had long hair, it wouldn’t be soft and silky like Natalie’s, and the truth is, I don’t like the way my hair feels on the back of my neck. It makes my skin crawl, which is why I keep it so short.
Natalie gave me a huge hi. Her smile made her look even prettier. She said, “Welcome to Vixed!”
She had a nice smile. A friendly smile. She also had a very pretty voice. She sounded like she could be a singer or do voice-overs. Natalie seemed like a really sweet person. She was the first person today that didn’t make me feel like hiding in my nonexistent shell.
I could tell from the way Seth was looking at her that he likes her a lot too. She must be excellent at her job.
Natalie gushed about how much I’m going to love working at Vixed. And the more she talked about it, the better I felt.
I really like Natalie. In my whole life, you’re the only person I’ve ever clicked with, and believe me, I know I’ll never be close to Natalie the way I’m close to you, but it would be nice to have a casual friend to have a cup of coffee with or have dinner with after work. You always said I should try to make more friends, so I’m trying. I really am.
Sincerely, Dawn Schiff
To: Dawn Schiff From: Mia Hodge
Subject: Re: Greetings
First off, congratulations on your new job! I know making friends is hard, but this Natalie woman seems really nice. Just remember to be yourself, okay?
XXO,
Mia
