We walk Ziggy back to the house. I’m holding Ziggy’s leash with one hand, and part of me wonders if I should reach out and take Graham’s hand with my other one. It would make him happy, but I just can’t make myself do it. Graham seems like a nice enough guy, but I still can’t quite think of him as my husband. Even though I’m trying.
When we get home, a buzzing noise startles me. It takes me a second to realize my phone is ringing.
Could it be Harry?
No, it couldn’t be. That whole thing with Harry this morning was just a delusion manufactured by my damaged brain. That phone number scrawled on my arm didn’t work. And according to Camila, he doesn’t even live in the area anymore. He’s got a whole new family now. Why would he be sending me text messages?
Graham turns to look at me. “Is that your phone buzzing?”
“Um…” I put my hand on my pocket, nervous to take my phone out in front of him. “Is it?”
He cocks an eyebrow. “Aren’t you going to answer it?” “Should I?”
“Yes? I would imagine so?”
I take my phone out of my pocket, fully expecting to see that same number flashing on the screen. But instead, there’s a name on the screen. “It’s Lucy!”
Graham grins at me. “Great. I’m going to go upstairs and get some work done. Why don’t you talk to Lucy?”
As my husband mounts the staircase, I click the green button to accept the call. A second later, a familiar worried voice comes on the other line: “Tess? Are you okay?”
It’s the first familiar voice I’ve heard the entire day. It’s an effort to keep from bursting into tears. “Lucy!” I sink onto
our extravagant leather sofa. “It’s you!”
There’s a pause on the other line and then laughter. “Yes, of course it’s me. Who else would it be?”
“I have no idea.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “It’s been a rough day, Lucy.”
“I know, sweetie. I could tell you were having a rough morning. I was trying to find a free minute to talk to you.”
“Are you at work?” I ask. Lucy was always bouncing from job to job, never quite able to find the right fit. Most recently, she had been trying her hand at being a pharmaceutical rep.
“Unfortunately, yes. Your husband is quite the slave driver!” Then she giggles. “I’m joking! Obviously.”
My mouth falls open. “You work for My Home Spa?” “That’s right.” Her voice grows softer. “You don’t
remember?”
I don’t remember Lucy taking a job at my company. To be honest, I don’t remember her being particularly supportive of the entire venture. When I talked about starting the company, she shook her head at me. What do you know about starting a business? When I explained Harry was going to be helping me, she was even less enthusiastic
—Lucy was not the biggest fan of Harry Finch. It just seems like this might end up being a big mistake, Tess.
“I guess not,” I mumble.
“Oh, Tess,” she sighs. “You really are having a rough day.”
“I’m sorry I bothered you at work…”
“It’s no bother! You sounded so upset on the phone! I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. And I knew it would be a comfort for you to hear my voice.”
She’s right. Lucy and I were roommates in college, then again for several years after college until I moved in with Harry. She is my closest friend in the entire world. I’m even closer to her than I am to my father, who still hasn’t
returned my phone calls. Getting to talk to somebody I remember from my old life feels like a return to sanity.
“I can’t believe you work for My Home Spa.” I shake my head, thinking of all the years that have gone by since my last retrievable memory. “Lucy, are you… are you married? Do you have children?”
It feels strange to ask my best friend those questions, especially since I probably spoke to her yesterday. But I’m dying to know the answer.
“No, haven’t taken the plunge yet,” Lucy says in that flippant way of hers. “Men are just… You know how it is. Nice guys are too intimidated to approach me—they assume they don’t have a chance. So the only guys who hit on me are the smarmy jerks… or the married guys.”
She has a point. Lucy is gorgeous, but she never seems to have a boyfriend. Although Harry used to say about her, She’s not as pretty as she seems to think she is. Nobody could be.
“So what’s going on, Tess?” Lucy asks. “I’m assuming Graham filled you in on everything. You read the letter, right?”
“You know about the letter?”
“Of course I do. We thought it was better if you heard about the accident in your own words. It was an idea we came up with to help you feel more comfortable when you first woke up. Did it work?”
I chew on my lower lip. “Sort of.”
“So what was rough about the day then?”
I debate if I should tell Lucy about the text messages. I hear the words in my head and it makes me sound so crazy. I can’t even bring myself to say it.
“Did you have to go to a doctor’s appointment?” she asks in a low voice.
“No, nothing like that.” Lucy knows all about my phobia about doctors and hospitals, stemming from my mother’s terminal cancer. She knows I have a panic attack every time
I need to visit the doctor. “I’m fine. It was just so strange to wake up next to Graham when…”
“You couldn’t remember him?” “Yes…”
“I can’t even imagine…” Lucy lets out a long sigh. “But you should know, Tess… Graham is a good guy. He loves you a lot.”
“I guess…”
“And he’s hot, right?”
“Yes…” I can’t deny Graham is hot.
“Honestly, Tess, he’s so much better than Harry.”
A tear cascades from my right eye at the mention of Harry Finch, and I brush it away. “Lucy, where is Harry?”
There’s a sharp inhale of breath on the other line. “Tess…”
“Please tell me. Please.”
“I… I don’t know. Before your accident, you hadn’t mentioned him in years. But now…”
“Why did I break up with him?”
She’s quiet on the other line. “You just grew apart.” “Grew apart? Lucy, we were engaged!”
“I don’t know.” There’s a vagueness to her voice that makes me think she’s lying to me. “You called it off.”
“When?”
“Maybe six months after you got engaged? I can’t remember. You just said you were glad you decided not to marry him before the wedding invitations went out.”
“But why?”
“I don’t know, sweetie. He was just sort of a loser, you know? And you were so much better off without him. You were way too good for Harry Finch.”
I wince at her comment. Harry and Lucy didn’t particularly like each other, but they both tried to be civil around each other for my sake. And Lucy promised to keep the negative comments to a minimum. This isn’t the first time she’s informed me I was too good for Harry.
“And then you started seeing Graham…” she adds. “Yeah…”
“And he’s great. An all-around wonderful guy.”
“He seems nice.” I chew on my thumbnail. “He’s been so kind to me today. And it’s such a great story about how we met. The way he saved my life…”
Lucy laughs. “Saved your life? What are you talking about?”
I frown. “The story of how we met. Hadn’t I told you before?”
“Well, yes…”
“It’s… romantic.” I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing I could remember the day it happened. “A car was going to hit me and he pulled me out of traffic…”
“Pulled you out of traffic!” Lucy cackles with laughter. “Who told you that?”
My fingers freeze on my phone. “Graham told me. This morning.”
The laughter instantly dies. “Oh.”
“What are you saying?” I press her. “How did Graham and I really meet?”
“Well, he…” I can hear her swallow. “He was an accountant you hired for your company. I… I thought that’s how you met. But maybe he also saved your life. Or… is it possible that you misunderstood?”
That scar on my right scalp throbs dully, and I press my fingers against it. Graham told me this morning that we met when he saved my life. I’m sure of it. I may not remember what happened yesterday, but the conversation with him is so clear in my mind. He told me he pulled me out of traffic just before a car was about to hit me.
Didn’t he?
I pull up the sleeve of my shirt. I stare down at the number that I apparently fabricated completely. It felt so real, but it wasn’t. I can’t trust myself.
“I have to go,” I manage.
“Tess?”
“I’m sorry, I…” I gulp for air. “I need to talk to Graham about something. I… let’s talk later.”
“Are you okay?” “Yes. I promise.”
I hang up the phone before Lucy can ask any other questions. My head is throbbing again. Maybe Graham was right. Maybe I do need to see a doctor and get another scan of my head. Maybe my brain started bleeding again. All I know is I can’t trust any of my memories anymore.
I close my eyes and remember that snippet I had imagined when Camila said I was having a seizure. The one that felt so real, where Graham was coming into my office to interview for a job at My Home Spa. I had thought it was a figment of my imagination, but it seems consistent with what Lucy just told me. Maybe it was an actual memory.
I shove my phone back into my pocket and run up the stairs to the second floor. I start to go to the bedroom, then I notice another door is ajar, and the light is on inside.
It’s the bedroom right next to the master bedroom. When we bought the place, Harry joked, That’s where our firstborn will sleep. Even then, we assumed we would end up together for the rest of our lives. We both wanted children. Two or three—we couldn’t decide.
But Graham and I don’t have any children. So what is in this room?
Before I can second guess it, I reach for the doorknob.
I’m tired of my entire life being a mystery. I want answers.
