5ACC: Is there anything more speciﬁc you could tell me about the perpetratorṢ
LONDON: You mean the bank robberṢ
LONDON: So why not just say that insteadṢ
5ACC: Is there anything more speciﬁc you could tell me about the
LONDON: Like whatṢ
5ACC: Do you remember anything about his appearanceṢ
LONDON: God, that’s such a superﬁcial question! You’ve got a really sick binary view of gender, yeahṢ
5ACC: I’m sorry. Can you tell me anything else about “the person”Ṣ
LONDON: You don’t have to use perverted commas for that.
5ACC: I’m afraid I’m going to have to say that I do. Can you tell me anything about the banh robber’s appearanceṢ For instance, was the bank robber a short bank robber or a tall bank robberṢ
LONDON: Look, I don’t describe people by their height. That’s really excluding. I mean, I’m short, and I know that can give a lot of tall people a complex.
5ACC: I’m sorryṢ
LONDON: Tall people have feelings, too, you know.
5ACC: Okay. Fine. Then I can only apologize again. Let me rephrase the question: Did the bank robber look like the sort of bank robber who might have a complexṢ
LONDON: Why are you rubbing your eyebrows like thatṢ It’s really creepy.
5ACC: I’m sorry. What was your ﬁrst impression of the bank robberṢ
LONDON: Okay. My ﬁrst “impression” was that the “bank robber” seemed to be a complete moron.
5ACC: I’ll interpret that as suggesting that it’s perfectly okay to have a binary attitude to intelligence.
5ACC: Nothing. On what did you base your assumption that the bank robber was a moronṢ
LONDON: I was handed a note saying “Give me six thousand ﬁve hundred kronor.” Who the hell would rob a BANK for six and a half thousandṢ You rob banks to get ten million, something like that. If all you want is six thousand ﬁve hundred exactly, there must be some very special reason, mustn’t thereṢ
5ACC: I have to confess that I hadn’t thought of it like that.
LONDON: You should think more, have you ever thought about thatṢ
5ACC: I’ll do my best. Can I ask you to take a look at this sheet of paper and tell me if you recognize itṢ
LONDON: ThisṢ Looks like a kid’s drawing. And what’s it supposed to be anywayṢ
5ACC: I think that’s a monkey, and a frog and a horse.
LONDON: That’s not a horse. That’s an elk!
5ACC: Do you thinkṢ All my colleagues have guessed either a horse or a giraffe.
LONDON: Hang on. I just got a flash in my bud.
5ACC: No, stay focused now, London—so you think this is an elkṢ HelloṢ Put your phone down and answer the question!
LONDON: At last! At last!
5ACC: I don’t understand.
LONDON: They are getting divorced!