TURTLES HAVE INTERESTING MATING HABITS. The male turtle often follows the female around, sniffing near their cloacal opening before starting a courtship ritual. While the male and the female are going at it, they twist their tails together as the semen passes from the male to the female. But the female doesn’t have to lay her eggs right away. She can hold on to the sperm for several years before laying her eggs, if she so desires.
Caleb always gets sleepy after we have s*x. Do all human men do that? I’m not sure. Caleb is the only man I’ve ever been with. I’m sure he’s the only man I ever will be with. If not for him, I would almost certainly still be a virgin. I wouldn’t have lost it to a turtle, as Natalie helpfully pointed out.
I am watching more videos on his phone, my head propped up with the pillow, and he’s lying next to me, his arm slung across my chest. When he first came here, it seemed like it was urgent that we get out of this motel, but now he says we’ve already paid up for the rest of the evening, so we don’t have to rush. I suppose with Natalie in jail, things are at a standstill.
“Do you want to watch it too?” I ask him, tilting the phone in his direction.
He yawns. “That’s okay. I was there, remember?”
He squeezes me with his arm, cuddling closer to me. I reconnected with Caleb about a year after Mia died. I came to see her parents, and he was there. I knew Caleb from when we were younger, but I never paid much attention to my friend’s big brother back then—although I always liked him because I knew he was protective of Mia. When I saw him all those years later, I was taken aback by how tall and cute he was. I got crushes on boys sometimes, but I had learned to ignore them. I knew by now that none of the boys would ever like me back.
Caleb is Mia’s half-brother. His father died when he was young, and his mother remarried. That’s why they had different last names. He adored his baby sister, and he had spent the last year blaming himself for letting this happen to her. He didn’t even know about Natalie—not all of it anyway. Not until I filled him in.
He was beyond furious. When I went back to college, we vowed to keep in touch. Mostly, we talked about Natalie—I blamed Tara far less as Natalie was the clear ringleader. We discussed what Natalie had done to Mia, and how to get her to pay. We never had any concrete ideas though. Well, I suggested cornering her in a dark alley, but Caleb wouldn’t go along with that idea. He was adamant about not wanting to hurt anyone physically, and that limited our options. Mostly, it was just fantasies.
We can’t just let her get away with it, Caleb would say. It’s not right.
I can’t remember exactly when it seemed like our friendship was evolving into something different. We never had the same sort of friendship that Mia and I had—I never expected that—but I noticed he was looking at me in a different way than most people. I didn’t quite understand it.
Three years from the time of Mia’s death, Caleb and I were at a restaurant together and having quite a nice evening. For once, the silverware was clean and the glasses didn’t have any smudges on them that required them to be replaced. When the check arrived, Caleb grabbed for it.
No, I protested, it’s my turn to pay. Caleb and I always took turns covering the check when we went out. If there was a significant discrepancy between that evening’s check and the last time, I would offer him money to cover the difference.
I want to pay, he told me as he tugged the bill out of my fingers. When I started to protest, he added, I got a raise at work.
All right, I finally agreed, albeit reluctantly, but let me at least make sure it’s correct.
I looked over the numbers, and sure enough, there was a major error. They charged us for two beers, but only Caleb had ordered one. I saved you six dollars, I told him, rather proudly. What would you do without me?
You’re right, he agreed. I don’t know what I’d do without you.
And then I noticed he was looking at me with a lopsided smile on his face. I didn’t quite know what he was thinking until he blurted out, Dawn, would it be okay if I kissed you?
I was stunned. I noticed he had been treating me differently, but this was something entirely unexpected. Nobody had ever kissed me before. And yet, I was oddly touched that he asked permission, which was what inspired me to say yes.
It was my first kiss. And it was so much better than I ever imagined it would be. It was the first of many, and it wasn’t until we had kissed at least a dozen times that he stopped asking permission.
And then I somehow fell in love with him.
He loves me too. Before all this, he was talking about getting married. He wants to marry me, even though I am… me. Ultimately, I am certain he will be disappointed. Mia accepted me for exactly who I am, but I suspect Caleb sees something in me that isn’t there.
More concerning, the deeper he fell in love with me, the more his hatred of Natalie seemed to dissipate. He didn’t talk about her much anymore. He didn’t want to get revenge. It was a long time ago, he started saying. That’s when I knew. We had to do it now, before he completely lost his desire.
“We should hit the road in about an hour,” he says in that same sleepy voice that makes me think he isn’t going to want to get on the road at all in an hour. “I found another motel we can go to about thirty miles south of here.”
“Okay,” I agree.
He props his head up on his elbow. “I thought maybe I could spend the night with you. I think it’s safe.”
“You think?”
He bats his eyes at me. “Let’s live dangerously.”
I can’t very well argue with him after I made the stupid move of calling Natalie from the motel. And I would like him to spend the night. These motels are frightening after dark.
“I wonder if they figured out that dead body isn’t me,” I muse. “I haven’t seen it mentioned on the news.”
“If they haven’t, I’m sure they will soon,” he says. “I guess they had to do DNA tests since her face was so damaged. That takes time.”
“I guess so…”
He rubs the stubble on his chin. “It’s such a big coincidence, isn’t it? I mean, a girl the same age as you turns up at the exact same time…”
He keeps saying that. He keeps talking about what a strange coincidence it is. But it’s not that strange. Thousands of women are murdered every year in this country. It’s a coincidence. He doesn’t need to give me a funny look when he says it.
“How long do you think she’ll go to jail for?” I muse. “A long time, I’ll bet.”
“You think?”
“Sure. I mean, it’s a murder charge.”
I chew on my lower lip. “But as soon as the DNA tests show that the dead woman isn’t me, there won’t be a body. They can’t lock her away for life if there’s no dead body, can they?”
“Well, there’s nothing we can do about that, is there?” “I guess not…”
Caleb tilts my head so he can kiss me. My stomach churns as I push away the thought that’s been intruding on my brain for the last month or so, as much as I try not to let it bother me. It’s hard not to think about it though.
He kissed her. He kissed Natalie.
At first, I didn’t think it was a big deal. But now every time his lips are on mine, I imagine him kissing her. I saw the two of them kissing. And if I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought he was enjoying it. He probably was enjoying it on some level. I’m sure she kisses very well. She’s had lots of experience.
“What was it like kissing her?” I blurt out. His lips part slightly. “Excuse me?”
“When you kissed Natalie,” I clarify. “What was it like?”
His face darkens. “What do you think? It was awful. I hated it.”
“Really? Because it didn’t look like you hated it that much when you were doing it.” I quickly add, “I’m just wondering. I’m not mad.”
Caleb sits up all the way up in bed. There’s a muscle twitching in his jaw. “This is the last thing I want to talk about.”
“Well, it just seems like you didn’t mind playing the part that much. Just an observation.”
I don’t know why I’m doing this. We got exactly what we wanted. And a large part of it is because Caleb went out with Natalie. But I can’t help the way I’m feeling.
“You have got to be kidding me, Dawn,” he growls. “You know I didn’t want to go out with her. I didn’t want to do any of that! I told you no. But you kept pushing and pushing.”
That is not inaccurate. Caleb did not, in fact, want to date Natalie. He thought it would be enough to just be friendly with her. But I felt like he could incriminate her so much better if he were her boyfriend. So I talked him into it. It actually took quite a bit of work, because he really, really didn’t want to do it. But I was relentless. I wouldn’t give up until he agreed.
“You didn’t have to do it,” I point out. “You could have refused.” “Have you ever met you?” he shoots back.
“I’m just saying…”
“You made me do it! You begged me! You cried!”
I did put on quite the performance. And it wasn’t an act. It’s that important to me to get Natalie behind bars. So yes, I did tear up a bit. But deep down, I was still hoping he would refuse. Because, you see, Caleb is supposed to love me and only me. And if you really love a woman, you would never agree to kiss another woman. Not under any circumstances.
Caleb frowns. “You know, I didn’t even sleep with her. And believe me, that wasn’t easy.”
“Oh, I’m sure.”
“I didn’t mean it like that! I’m just saying, I didn’t do anything with her.”
“Except kiss her.”
“Yes. But that’s it. And I hated it. I wanted to throw up after.”
He’s lying. He doesn’t hate Natalie the way I do. He was going to let the whole thing go. When I suggested getting jobs at Vixed to set her up and send her to prison, which is what she deserves, Caleb looked at me like I was out of my mind. Ten years ago, he would’ve been happy to go along with it. But I had to force him to do it now. Kicking and screaming.
Mia has been dead for thirteen years now. And it feels like I’m the only one who truly cares anymore. Even her own brother has forsaken her.
I still care, Mia. I did all this for you.
Natalie is going to pay. Those emails left on my computer were a stroke of brilliance. Who is stupid enough to leave their computer password on a
sticky note under their mouse pad? But I’m sure the police bought it. Those emails I composed to Mia were a work of art. I’m so glad Mia could play a little part in the plan to take down the woman who killed her. Caleb even set up an untraceable fake account from Mia to “reply” to the emails and make it all seem more real. Caleb composed dozens of fake emails allegedly from Mia, and we gave her the life she always wanted. She always dreamed of living on the West Coast, and of course, being married to George.
In my emails, I painted Natalie to be a psychopath. And it all but says she was at my house on the night of the disappearance. Then there’s the bloody ceramic turtle Caleb planted in her laundry hamper. And her fingerprints strategically scattered throughout my house. And one more damning little surprise.
She’s finished. There’s no way she isn’t going down for murder.
Caleb reaches for my hand. He laces his fingers into mine. I saw Natalie hold his hand like that once. “You’re not really upset over this, are you?”
“No, it’s fine,” I lie. “We should get on the road soon.”
Caleb nods. We both get out of bed and start getting dressed. It’s lucky Natalie told him that she had traced my calls. If she hadn’t, it could’ve ruined everything. That was a very close call.
I’m not going to take any chances anymore. This has to go exactly to plan.
