By the time I get to the police station in Manhattan, I am thoroughly freaked out. Detective Ramirez tried to make some conversation during the car ride to the station, but I mostly answered in monosyllables and grunts. Even when he was talking about the weather, I got the feeling he was digging for information and I didnโt want to give him anything.
But when I get to the station, Brock is waiting for me there. Heโs wearing his gray suit and that blue tie that makes his eyes look really blue. He smiles when he sees me come into the station with the detective, not looking the slightest bit worried. Thatโs probably going to change very soon.
โThatโs my lawyer over there,โ I tell Ramirez. โIโd like to speak with him privately before I get questioned.โ
Ramirez nods curtly. โWeโll put you in a room to talk, and when youโre ready, Iโd like to ask you my questions.โ
He takes me into a small, square room with a plastic table and a few plastic chairs surrounding it. I havenโt been in an interrogation room in years, and the sight of it makes my chest tight. Especially when he sits me in one of the chairs and leaves me all alone in there with the door closed. I thought Brock would be coming in here with me, but he seems to be busy outside.
I wonder what theyโre saying to him.
I spend nearly another forty minutes alone in the room, my panic mounting. By the time Brockโs familiar face appears at the door, I almost burst into tears.
โWhat took so long?โ I cry.
Brock has a troubled expression on his face. He seems a little stiff as he settles down into the chair across from me. Thereโs a crater between his eyebrows.
โMillie,โ he says, โIโve been talking to the detective outside. Theyโre reluctant to tell me too much, but this isnโt a routine questioning. You are a serious suspect.โ
I stare at him. How could that be? Wendy told the police she was the one who shot Douglas. Are they doubting her story? It should be open and shut.
Unlessโฆ
โThey have a warrant to search your apartment,โ he tells me. A
warrant? โThey have a team there right now.โ
Theyโre searching my apartment? I canโt imagine what theyโre looking for. I donโt have anything there thatโs at all suspicious. Thankfully, I didnโt get any blood on my clothing last night. I checked.
โWhy would they think you killed him?โ Brock shakes his head. โIt doesnโt make any sense to me.โ
This is it. I have to tell him about my past. If heโs going to act as my lawyer, he needs to know. Otherwise, heโs going to look like an idiot. โListen,โ I tell him, โthereโs something you need to know about me.โ
He raises his eyebrows at me, waiting.
This is so hard. Iโm cursing myself for not saying anything sooner, but now that Iโm doing this, I remember why I put it off so long. โI sort of have a, you know, a prison record.โ
โYou have aย what?โ His jaw looks like itโs about to unhinge. โAย prison
record? Like you were inย prison?โ
โYeah. Thatโs kind of what a prison record means.โ โForย what?โ
And now comes the hard part. โIt was for murder.โ
Brock looks like heโs about two seconds away from keeling overโI hope his heart is okay. โMurder?โ
โIt was self-defense,โ I say, which isnโt entirely true. โThis man was attacking my friend and I stopped him. I was a teenager at the time.โ
He gives me a look. โYou donโt go to prison for self-defense.โ โSome people do.โ
He doesnโt look like he believes me, but Iโm not going to go into great detail about the boy who was trying to rape my friend. About how I did
what I had to do to stop him, even if the prosecutors made it sound like I went too far.
โNo wonder you never got your college degree,โ he mutters to himself. โI always just told myself you were a late bloomer.โ
โIโm sorry.โ I lower my eyes. โI should have told you.โ โGee, you think?โ
โIโm sorry,โ I say again. โBut I was scared if I did, you would look at me likeโฆ well, the way youโre looking at me right now.
Brock rakes a hand through his hair. โJesus, Millie. I justโฆ I knew there was something you didnโt want to tell me about, but I never imaginedโฆโ
โYeah,โ I breathe.
โOkay.โ He loosens his blue tie a notch. โOkay, you have a prison record. That aside for a moment, why do they think you killed Douglas Garrick?โ
I canโt answer that question because I donโt know what Wendy told the police. Even though everything I tell Brock is supposedly confidential, I canโt bring myself to tell him what happened last night. โI have no idea.โ
He cocks his head thoughtfully. โYou told me last night that you were sick. Did you leave their apartment early?โ
โWell, I finished up my work,โ I say carefully, knowing the doorman can confirm when I left the apartment. โBut since I wasnโt feeling well, I went straight home after. I was already almost home when we talked on the phone. Douglasโฆ he wasnโt even there when I left the apartment.โ
โOkay.โ Brock rubs his chin. โTheyโre just giving you a hard time because of your record. Weโre going to sort this out.โ
I wish I had his confidence.