I donโt have any trouble at all finding parking at the free clinic today.
Itโs a good thing because I have a jam-packed schedule today. This isnโt even my usual day to be here, and Iโm seeing patients till nearly seven oโclock at night. Iโve been gone for over a month, on a tour to promoteย The Anatomy of Fear, which recently hit number eight on theย New York Timesย bestseller list. Nobody knows that the account of the woman who survived a stabbing in an isolated cabin is entirely a lie.
Itโs been nearly four months since EJ, also known as Edward Jamison, left my life. Or rather, I should say he became a permanent part of my life. I peeled the duct tape off the floor later that day, destroyed his phone, and moved the couch back in place, but over the next several days, the stench coming from the floor became unbearable. I had to close off the room and cancel all my patients. I didnโt go into my office for two months.
If I even got close to the door to my former office, the smell was enough to turn my stomach. But then when I returned home from my book tour, I was relieved to find that the smell had abated significantly, although it was still very much present.
I finally went online and purchased a spray that was advertised to โchemically neutralize odors from dead
bodies.โ I opened all the windows, aggressively spritzed the neutralizing chemical, and to my surprise and immense relief, it workedโthe odor disappeared. You would never know there was a dead body down there.
I had assumed that at some point the police would come by, asking questions about his disappearance. I even had a story ready. There were moments during my tour when I was signing books and I was certain the police would approach me with handcuffs and haul me away. But it never happened. Nobody even asked me any questions about him. And now, four months later, Iโm starting to believe they might never come. After all, there was no cash trail for EJโs visits to my practice. The only person besides him who knew that he came to see me was his mother, and sheโs gone.
I got away with it. I killed a man, heโs lying under the floorboards in my home, and nobody knows it but me. Well, Patricia likely knows I killed him but she doesnโt know where the body is.
Patricia. So far, she hasnโt been a problem. But it worries me that she knows what Iโve done. That we share this secret. Could she use it against me someday? I do not know. The secret I know about her is just as bad, possibly worse. I canโt obsess over it, anyway. Right now, Iโve got to catch up on the patients I wasnโt able to see during my book tour, and Iโve still got plenty of signings and television appearances on the books over the next several weeks.
When I get into the clinic, Gloria is sitting at the front desk, humming to herself like she often does. When she sees me, her entire face lights up. โIโve got a surprise for you, Dr. Hale.โ
โOh?โ Itโs probably food. Patients love to bring sweets for me. I rarely eat them. Mostly, itโs homemade items or cheap chocolates. I donโt care how many comments Gloria makes about me needing to put meat on my bonesโIโm not eating homemade goods prepared by psychiatric patients.
โItโs in the documentation office,โ she says. And she winks at me. โYou should go there right now.โ
I follow Gloriaโs cryptic instructions and head to the documentation room. Iโm guessing itโs donuts. Patients love to bring in donuts. I skipped breakfast this morning, so I suppose I wouldnโt mind a munchkin or two. Just this one time, Iโll live dangerously.
But when I get to the room, I discover what Gloria was excited about. Itโs not donuts.
Itโs Luke.
I stare at him for a moment, my heart pounding. I havenโt seen him in nearly five months, since that day he stormed out of my house after I asked him toโฆ Well, we all know what I asked him to do. I had forgotten quite how handsome he is. Heโs clean-shaven, his dark brown hair newly clipped, wearing a freshly ironed dress shirt and a brown tie. And heโs wearing that aftershave again. The same brand he was wearing the first night we were together.
Luke looks up from his computer at the sound of my footsteps in the entranceway to the room. He sucks in a breath when he sees me. โAdrienneโฆโ
โOh.โ I tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. โIโฆ I didnโt expect you to be here.โ
โJust had to do a software update.โ He coughs into his hand. โYou usually come on Tuesdays. So I figured Thursday you wouldnโt be hereโฆโ
โIโm working an extra day.โ I hate how formal we sound when weโre talking to each other. Like weโre strangers. Like we didnโt almost move in together. Like he wasnโt the first man I had ever fallen in love with. โIโm playing catch up after my book tour.โ
โRight.โ He bobs his head. โI saw your book came out.
Congratulations.โ
โThank you. You didnโtโฆ Did you read it?โ
He hesitates for a beat. โYes. I did. It was really good.
Better than your last book even.โ โYou think so?โ
โI wouldnโt lie.โ
โWell.โ I plaster a smile on my lips. โThank you.โ โYouโre welcome.โ
We both stare at each other for a moment, the air between us heavy with everything that happened the last time we saw each other. When he stormed out of my house.
Finally, he blurts out, โI miss you.โ A lump rises in my throat. โYou do?โ
โI really do.โ He stands up and leans against the desk. โA lot. You have no ideaโฆโ
I attempt to swallow the lump. โI took care of thatโฆ situation. I paid him off.โ
A lie, of course. I wonder if Luke knows it. Maybe heโs decided not to care.
โI shouldnโt have run out on you like that.โ He adjusts his glasses on his nose. โI know you didnโt really mean that we shouldโฆ I mean, I shouldโve helped you figure out the situation. I just got freaked out. Iโm sorry.โ
โI forgive you.โ I clear my throat. โAndโฆ I miss you too.
Aย lot.โ
His shoulders sag. โIโm so glad to hear that. Honestly, I havenโt been able to stop thinking about you the last few months. I triedโbelieve me, I tried. But itโs no use. I canโt even sleep at night because I keep tossing and turning, thinking about how I blew it with the best woman I ever met.โ
I arch an eyebrow. โI could call in a prescription for some Ambien.โ
He reaches over and takes my hand in his larger hands. I missed this feeling. โOr you could have dinner with me tonight.โ
My lips stretch into a smile. โIโm going to have a late night at the clinic tonight.โ
โI can wait.โ He leans in towards me. โAlso, I have a confession to make. I wasnโt entirely truthful with you.โ
My stomach flips. Does he know what I did to EJ? โYou werenโt?โ
He grins. โThe truth is, I knew you were going to be working today. Gloria told me. I asked her what days you would be in this week before I planned my schedule.โ
Thatโs his confessionโthat he was trying to see me. My knees wobble with relief. I grab his shirt collar and pull him towards me, then I press my lips against his. The way he kisses me back, I know heโs been missing me as much as Iโve missed him.
Heโll never know what Iโve done. Iโm going to keep it that way.
Luke and I are meeting tonight at nine oโclock. I tried to finish up the clinic as quickly as I could, leaving behind a stack of paperwork at the end. Iโll probably have to come back tomorrow, but Gloria was nice about it. She knew I made plans with Luke, and she was practically shooing me out the door.
Luke is picking me up at my house, then weโre going out to a restaurant. As much as Iโd like to have him inside the house, thereโs no way Iโm allowing him inside while that body is still underneath my floorboards. Even though the smell seems to have abated, I swear I can still detect a faint whiff of death, especially in my office. I canโt risk having him in the house. If he knows what Iโve done, heโll never forgive me.
Eventually, Iโve got to get rid of the body. Iโm dreading it. Itโs like when I was a child and I used to smash a large insect with a heavy book. I knew eventually I would have to pick up the book and clean up the smashed insect. But I always dreaded it.
I may not be perfect, but Iโm not a psychopath. I didnโt want to kill EJ. He gave me no choice.
I drive down the dark path to my house, keeping my eye on the clock. Iโve got an hour to shower and change before Luke arrives. Iโll come up with an excuse for why he canโt go inside the house. Perhaps I had it newly painted. Iโm sure heโll believe whatever excuse I come up with. I may be good at detecting lies, but he is not.
And eventually, Iโll have to get rid of the body for good. Maybe in a few more months. Nobody will be looking for him by then.
As I draw closer to my house, I see an Audi parked in front. My agent Paigeโs car. I wonder if sheโs come to beg me to take her back. If she has, sheโs wasting her time. Itโs far too late for that.
But then I see a dark figure leaning against the carโone I havenโt seen in four months and hoped to never see again. A figure with long, shapely legs and silky blond hair that gleams in the moonlight. Itโs Patricia Lawton. I forgot she drove the same kind of car as my former agent did.
I park my car next to the Audi and kill the engine. I stuff my keys in my purse and get out of the car. I donโt know what Patricia wants, but I donโt have time for it. I need time to look my best for Luke.
โHi, Dr. Hale,โ she says. โItโs been a while, hasnโt it?โ โYesโฆโ
Her teeth almost glow in the moonlight as she smiles. โI was hoping we could talk.โ
I glance down at my watch pointedly. โIโm in a bit of a rush.โ
โItโll just take a moment.โ
I nod. โWe can talk out here. Youโve got one minute.โ
โI justโฆโ She chews at her thumbnail, which is gnawed down to the quick. โIโm nervous about what we did. What if somebody traces it back to us?โ
โThat wonโt happen. Itโs been months. Nobody is looking for him.โ
โThey might. If they find the body.โ โThey wonโt.โ
โYou donโt know for sure. And Iโve been thinking about itโฆโ Her lips twist downward. โThereโs video footage in the casino. If they find out when he disappeared, they could look at the footage and figure out I was the one talking to him right before. They might see us leaving together. Or maybe theyโll have footage from the garage.โ
She might be right. Itโs another reason Patricia has become a liability. Iโll have to do something about it. But not now. โI wouldnโt worry about it.โ
โI just want to knowโฆโ Her eyes lock with mine. โWhat did you do with his body?โ
โWhat?โ I almost choke. โPatricia, I am not going to have this discussion with you. Trust me. Everything is fine.โ
โI want to know where the body is. I need to know.
Please tell me.โ
I grunt in disgust. โYour minute is up. I have to go.โ โIs it in the house somewhere?โ
I hesitate a beat too long, and her eyes widen. โYou have the body in the house?โ she gasps. โMy God. Where is it?โ
โI canโt discuss this with you.โ โBut, Dr. Haleโโ
โLook.โ I pause one more minute to address her. Thatโs all she getsโI canโt babysit this girl any longer. โThe only people who know about this are the two of us. All we have to do is keep the secret.โ
Patriciaโs eyes donโt blink once as she stares into mine. โMy mother always says the only way two people can keep a secret,โ she says, โis if one of them is dead.โ
And then her fingers bite into my arm. A cold feeling comes over me, and I realize I have made a terrible mistake.
I should never have gotten Patricia involved in this. I knew exactly how dangerous she was.
And now I am going to pay the price. Please forgive me, Lukeโฆ