I want to do something to try to distract Ethan from the hidden room, but his eyes are focused on it like a laser beam.
โWhat isย that?โ he says.
โIโฆ I donโt know. Probably just a closet.โ
But heโs not listening to me. He strides over to the bookcase while my heart does jumping jacks in my chest. How could I be so stupid as to leave it open? I was sure I shut it the last time I went in to grab some tapes, but I noticed the latch doesnโt always catch. It mustโve swung open again after I closed it.
And in a flash, Ethan is pulling open the door. I at least turned the light out, which delays him about five seconds as he fumbles around for the cord. When he finally finds it and the room lights up, I hear the sharp inhalation of his breath. โWhat theโฆ?โ
I stand at the entrance to the room, wringing my hands together. I want to pretend I donโt know anything about this, but heโll see right through me.
Ethan selects one tape from a shelf. He examines the writing on the spine. โShe recorded all her patient interviewsโฆโ
โYeahโฆโ I say.
โThere must be thousands of theseโฆโ His eyes rake over the shelves and shelves packed with tapes. โWhen did you find this place?โ
My cheeks feel like theyโre on fire. โUmโฆโ โTriciaโฆโ
โYesterday. I found it yesterday.โ โAnd you didnโt tell me?โ
Obviously not. โYou seemed busy with work. I didnโt think you would care.โ
โThatโs a load of bullshit and you know it, Tricia.โ Bright red creeps into his face from his neck. โHave you been listening to these tapes?โ
โNo,โ I answer quickly.
He raises his eyebrows. โHow about if you tell me the truth this time?โ
โMaybe a coupleโฆโ
โDonโt lie.โ His voice is sharp now, not quite yelling but just on the verge. Thereโs a glint in his eyes that makes me take a step back. โHave you been listening to these tapes?โ
โNot that many. Maybe five or six.โ
Iโm still lying. I listened to far more tapes than that. If Ethan went back into Dr. Haleโs office and looked in her desk drawer, he would see more tapes than that. Iโm taking a chance he wonโt do that.
โDonโt listen to any more tapes,โ he says in a voice that doesnโt sound like the man I married. โPromise me you wonโt.โ
โI promise,โ I gasp.
He stands there for a moment, studying my face. I try not to squirm under his gaze. Itโs yet another reminder that Iโve only known this man for a little over a year. Thereโs so much I still donโt know about him, even though Iโve pledged to spend my life with him and Iโve got his child growing inside me. He doesnโt want to share his past with me, and whenever I bring it up, he shuts down.
Iโm his wife. He should feel comfortable telling me anything. Itโs upsetting that he feels there are things he canโt tell me. That needs to change. Maybe not this minute, but everything needs to get laid out on the table.ย Soon. If weโre starting a family together, there canโt be any secrets.
Ethan finally rips his eyes away from my face. He turns around and closes the door to the hidden room. I hear the
snap as it closes. When he turns back to look at me, the color in his face has gone back to normal.
โIโm going out now to try to find help,โ he says. โIโll be back soon, okay?โ
I nod, not wanting him to leave, although realizing it has to be this way.
He reaches out and grabs my arm hard enough that it hurts. But not enough to leave behind bruises. โDonโt go in that room again.โ
โI wonโtโฆโ
โI mean it.โ His grip tightens. โThatโs private patient information. We could get in a lot of trouble for listening to it. We should turn it over to the police.โ
โYes, of course.โ But thereโs something in his eyes that tells me this isnโt the reason he doesnโt want me to listen to those tapes. He isnโt being entirely honest with me.
He runs his tongue over his lips. โHow did you get it open, anyway?
โThe Shining. I was going to read it, but it unlocked the door when I tried to pull it open.โ
He considers this for a moment, then he nods. He yanks his black beanie out of his coat pocket and shoves it onto his golden hair. Heโs got on his black boots, and he stomps across the living room on his way to the front door. He gives me one last look before he slams the door shut behind him.
The sound of the door slamming echoes through the giant living room. For a full minute after heโs gone, I just stand there. Trying to figure out my next move.
Ethan knows about the hidden room with the cassette tapes in it. I donโt know if heโs going to make good on his promise to tell the police about it, but if thereโs any chance of that, Iโve got to put back all the tapes I removed from the room. I donโt want to be accused of tampering with evidence.
Thereโs only one problem:
If I want those tapes back, I have to go back into Dr.
Haleโs office.