Luke has cooked us dinner tonight. Itโs chicken marsala. Slices of chicken breast braised in Marsala wine sauce, butter, and garlic. It smells incredible, but I have not taken one bite. I have spent the last fifteen minutes pushing it around my plate, pretending to be eating even though I have no appetite.
โIs your chicken overcooked?โ Luke cranes his neck to look at the little chunk that I sliced off. โMine is perfect, but yours was a little thinner. Is it too dry?โ
โNot at all.โ I force a smile. โItโs delicious. Really.โ
โThen how come youโve barely eaten a bite of it?โ He frowns. โAre you feeling sick? Is it a migraine?โ
It has been two days since EJ told me what he wanted me to do. I wouldnโt let Luke come over again last night, complaining that my head was still bothering me. But I couldnโt put him off forever, so here he is.
Iโm trying to put EJ out of my head, but I canโt. All I can think about is how EJ will destroy both of us if I donโt do what he wants. But how can I? The thought of letting that man touch me makes me physically ill. Not to mention the fact that I canโt even contemplate being with someone besides Luke. A few days ago, I had thought he might be the person I would spend the rest of my life withโฆ
I have thought about nothing else besides my dilemma for the last two days. And Iโve concluded that thereโs only
one solution to this problem.
I lay down my fork, push away my plate, and stare across the dining table at Luke. He pushes his glasses up his nose, a curious expression on his face. I fold my hands in front of me on the table.
โWe have a problem,โ I say.
He nods thoughtfully. โYou donโt want me to move in.โ God, is that what he thinks? โLukeโโ
โItโs okay,โ he says quickly. โI know this is fast. I get it. I didnโt want to push you. I mean, Iโd love to live with you, but Iโm okay if you want to wait.โ
Heโs breaking my heart, because all I want is to live with this man. To spend my life with him. I have never felt this way beforeโnever imagined I ever wouldโand it kills me that a vindictive monster is ruining the only relationship in my life that has ever mattered to me. โLukeโฆโ
He reaches across the table and grabs one of my hands, pulling them apart. โI have to tell you, Adrienne. After Darcy died, I honestly couldnโt imagine ever falling for anyone else ever again. And then I met you, andโฆ I just knew right away.โ He squeezes my hand. โLike I said, if you want to take it slower, thatโs fine. Iโll wait as long as I have to.โ
My eyes fill with tears. โThatโs not it at all. I want you to move in too. Butโฆโ
His brow creases. โBut what?โ
โThereโs another copy of the video,โ I blurt out.
For a second, itโs so quiet you can hear the air conditioner whirring. Lukeโs jaw tightens as he absorbs this piece of information. โWhat?โ
โHe must have had another copy saved somewhere.โ I bite down on my lower lip. โHe sent it to me. Andโฆ heโs pretty pissed off.โ
Luke snatches his hand away from mine, the affection disappearing from his face. โWell, I told you that was a possibility. All we could do was get rid of the copy on his computer and his phone.โ
That wasnโt all Luke did. He told me he hadnโt searched for any other copies, but he did. I could see him searching the desk drawers in that recording EJ showed me.
โAnyway,โ I say, โheโs making demands again. Blackmailing me.โ I canโt bring myself to tell Luke what he wants. Itโs humiliating. Let him believe itโs just money. โItโs never going to stop.โ
He heaves a sigh. โYeah. Iโฆ I donโt know what to say. I donโt think you should give in to him.โ
โThat video would destroy me.โ
โHeโs destroying you. Heโs controlling your life. You canโt let him do this to you.โ
I suck in a breath. โI know. Youโre right. Heโs going to hold this over me forever. As long as heโs aliveโฆโ
I let that last statement hang there. Lukeโs face clouds with confusion. โWhatโฆ what are you saying, Adrienne?โ
โI think you know.โ
โAre you sayingโฆ?โ He shakes his head. โLook, you need to let him publish the video if he wants. Accept the consequences.โ
โSo I should let him wreck my life?โ
โNoโฆ I mean, I donโt think that video will wreck your life.โ He shifts in his seat. โYou can spin it.โ
โNo. I canโt.โ
He grimaces. โI donโt know what to say. You donโt have a choice. Thereโs no alternative.โ
โThereโs one other thing.โ I square my shoulders, knowing that Iโve reached the moment of no return. โHe has another video.โ
His long eyelashes flutter. โAnotherโฆ?โ โA video of you.โ
โOf me?โ
โHe has a recording of you entering his house and breaking into his laptop.โ The words come out in a rush. I want to get this over with. โIt even shows you breaking into his desk with a letter opener.โ
The color slowly drains out of Lukeโs face. โHolyโฆโ โIโm so sorry, Luke.โ
โSorry?โ The color that had left his face now appears in two spots on his cheeks. โI told you I didnโt want to do this. I told you it was the wrong thing to do. I said we could get in a lot of trouble. Didnโt I say that?โ
โYes,โ I say in a small voice.
He drops his head into his hands and massages his temples. โUnbelievable. This is so unbelievable.โ
โI know. Iโm so sorry.โ I shift my chair around the side of the table to be closer to him. โThis guy is a terrible person. I hate that heโs doing this to us.โ
Luke grunts in response.
I drop my voice. โIf we got rid of himโฆโ
I watch Lukeโs expression. Will he go for it? In the experiment from Milgram, more than half of the subjects administered the 450 V electric shockโa dose of electricity which would have proven fatal if it had been real. They didnโt want to do it, but they did it. All because they were told to do it.
He lifts his face from his hands. โI donโt know what youโre suggesting.โ
โI think you do.โ I pause meaningfully. โItโs our only choice, Luke.โ
โItโs not. Itโs really not.โ
โAs long as heโs alive, heโs going to hold this over us,โ I say. โYou donโt want that, do you? Thereโs only one way to make sure he canโt destroy us.โ
โNo. No way.โ
โThink about it. What else can we do?โ Luke looks ill. โPlease stop.โ
โItโs our only choice.โ
He slams his palms against the table so hard that all the dishes shake. โIโm not fucking killing anyone, Adrienne, okay?โ
I flinch in my seat. Iโve been dating Luke for four months, and Iโve never heard him raise his voice like that before. I donโt think Iโve ever seen him this upset, but I canโt say he doesnโt have a right to be.
He pushes back his chair, the legs scraping against the floor. His face is bright red and thereโs a blood vessel bulging in his temple. He wonโt even look at me. โI need to get out of here.โ
โLukeโฆโ
I try to reach for him, but he shakes me off roughly. He makes a beeline for my front door, and the whole house trembles as he slams it closed. I run to the door just in time to hear the engine of his car revving up. I crack the door open and watch his tail beams disappear into the distance.
Thatโs it. He could forgive me for asking him to break into EJโs computer, but he wonโt forgive me for this. I saw it in his eyesโI pushed him too far. Iโm not sure Iโll ever see him again. I canโt even blame him.
Iโve lost him. The first guy I ever loved, and Iโve screwed it all up.
I shut my front door and lean back against it. I let the tears run down my face, cursing the moment I laid eyes on EJ. I should have told his mother no. I knew he was trouble. I knew it from the second I saw him.
Iโve ruined my relationship with Luke, but I will not let him be a casualty of this monster. Iโm going to take care of this problem. And Iโm going to take care of it myself.