The policeman who comes into my office is in plain clothesโa dress shirt and tie under his jacketโwhich makes me think he must be some sort of detective. Heโs also significantly older than the cops I see pounding the pavement outside. Maybe late fifties or early sixtiesโalmost the age my father is right now. His close-cropped hair is mostly gray and his shirt buttons strain slightly to hold in his gut.
All I can do is sit there, too petrified to speak.
โDr. Davis?โ The officer smiles, but itโs a halfhearted smile. It doesnโt even get halfway to his dark eyes. โIโm Detective Ed Barber.โ
โHello,โ I manage.
Police officers terrify me. Ever since that day my entire life changed when I was eleven years old. But for the most part, since that time, I havenโt had any bad interactions with police officers. Especially since I changed my last name. After my grandmother took me in, she insisted I change my last name to hers. I was eager to oblige. The last thing I wanted was for people to know I was that monsterโs daughter. And itโs not like Nierling is a common surname.
โDo you have a minute to chat, Dr. Davis?โ the detective asks.
โNot really.โ My laugh comes out sounding strangled. โBut have a seat.โ
Barber doesnโt hesitate to sit down in one of the chairs in front of my desk. As he studies my diploma on the wall, I try my best to talk myself down from the ledge. I had nothing to do with the car accident last night. That was entirely Callahanโs fault. Whatever heโs here about, I havenโt done anything wrong.
Maybe heโs here to get my medical opinion for another case. Thatโs entirely possible. Iโm probably working myself up over nothing.
โDr. Davis,โ he says. โDo you have a patient named Amber Swanson?โ
I freeze. Thatโs the last thing I expected him to say. โWhat?โ โAmber Swanson. Did you perform surgery on her?โ
I pick up a pencil on my desk and tap it against the surface. I donโt understand. Am I being sued? Why would a detective be here about that? โThe name sounds familiar.โ
โShe had an appendectomy.โ
Now itโs coming back to me. I was on call for the emergency room a couple of months ago and she came in with right lower quadrant pain. I remember walking into the examining room and finding poor Amber in a fetal position. Fortunately, we got her to the OR before her appendix ruptured. The surgery was entirely successful, and she was in good spirits during her postop appointment.
โYes,โ I say carefully. โI remember her.โ
The crease between Barberโs eyebrows deepens. โUnfortunately, Ms.
Swanson was found murdered at around three in the morning.โ
โOh!โ I clasp a hand over my mouth. โOh my God. Thatโs awful. She was onlyโฆ She was very young.โ
โTwenty-five years old,โ he says. โReally a shame. She disappeared two days ago, and she turned up floating in the San Joaquin River.โ
โOh my God.โ I close my eyes against the image of Amber Swansonโs lifeless body floating in the river. โItโs so terrible. Butโฆโ I swallow. โHow can I help you, Detective?โ
โWell,โ he says, โIโm just wondering when the last time you saw Amber was?โ
I shake my head. โAt her postop appointment. It was probably a few weeks ago.โ
โAnd you havenโt seen her since then?โ โNoโฆโ
This entire line of questioning is making me very uneasy. Why is he asking me this?
โWhere were you two nights ago, Dr. Davis?โ I frown. โTwo nights ago?โ
โIf you could give me an idea what you did that nightโฆโ
I glare at him. โAre you going to all of Amber Swansonโs doctors and questioning them this way?โ
Detective Barber watches me for a moment with his dark, shrewd eyes that are much younger than the lines on his face. Itโs making me incredibly uncomfortable but I donโt look away. Finally, he leans in closer.
โHereโs the thing, Dr. Davis,โ he says. โWhen we found Amber, both her hands had been severed.โ
He knows. Oh God, he knows who I am. He doesnโt even have to say itโthereโs only one reason he could possibly be sniffing around me after a revelation like that.
My father had an M.O. All of the bodies of his victims that were found were missing their hands. He severed them and preserved the bones in a chest in our basement. That was why they called him the Handyman. Partially because he had been claiming the basement was his workshop, but also because of the missing hands.
Barber is old enough that he was probably already a cop when my father was apprehended. He probably remembers it, although Iโm sure there are databases that would have flagged it even if he didnโt.
โAaron Nierling is in prison,โ I say carefully. โThis has absolutely nothing to do with me.โ
Barber tilts his head to the side. โWell, heโs your father. So Iโd say it has a little something to do with you.โ
I feel my face getting hot, but Iโm careful not to react. Thatโs what he wants.
โIf you want to question me further,โ I say, โit will have to be with my attorney. Iโm sure you know as well as I do how ridiculous this is.โ
The detective just stares at me. Itโs like weโre having a blinking contest. I was always very good at those.
โDr. Davis,โ he finally says, โa young woman has been mutilated and murdered. If you think thereโs anything about this Iโm not taking seriously, you are very mistaken.โ
With those words, he gets up out of his seat with a grunt. He reaches deep into his coat pocket, and for one horrible moment, Iโm certain heโs going to pull a weapon on me and tell me to put my hands on my head. But instead, he pulls out a business card. He places it on my desk.
โIf you think of any information that might help us,โ he says, โcall me.
Anytime, Doctor.โ
I nod. โIโll do that.โ
I watch him amble out of my office, and it isnโt until he closes the door behind him that I feel like I can breathe normally again. But my head is still
buzzing. Because thereโs one other thing I remembered. One thing I wouldnโt dare say to this detective, but itโs hard not to think about it.
I pull my phone out of my pocket. I go to a search engine and type in the name Amber Swanson.
Yes, Aaron Nierling had an MO. But he also had aย type. Women in their twenties, with dark hair and blue eyes. Almost always.
The search engine finds several Amber Swansons, but I know who Iโm looking for. Itโs been several weeks, but I remember her face. Thereโs just one detail Iโm not certain about. But when I find a picture of her, it jogs my memory.
Sheโs just as I remember her. Mid-twenties. Beautiful, with flowing dark hair. I remembered all that perfectly. But what I wasnโt certain about is now staring me right in the face.
Her clear blue eyes.