CONNOR COBALT
I dry my wet hair with a towel and button my pants, watching Rose sleep peacefully, tucked in a red and brown quilt. Before I put a shirt on, she stirs with a low groan and squints in the darkness. The only light comes from a sliver in the bear-printed curtains.
โGood morning, darling.โ I sit on the edge of the bed and grab the water off the nightstand. โComment te sens-tu ?โย How do you feel?
She slowly rises against the headboard, a hand to her temple. Her hair sticks up in five different places. I try hard to conceal my smile, but seeing Rose this disheveled happensโalmost never. And I adore this side of her just as much as any other.
โI have no idea what you just said,โ she yawns with a hand to her mouth. โMy hangover has destroyed your French.โ
โImpossible,โ I tell her. โYour hangover canโt defeat me.โ
Sheโs too tired and hung over to banter. She just yawns again. โReallyโฆ what did you say?โ
I pass her the water and she takes a small sip. โHow do you feel?โ I repeat.
โLike I spent five weeks prepping for the Academic Bowl Championships.โ
โSo not that bad then?โ I smile.
Her eyes narrow. โNot all of us were able to study for two hours and retain every single piece of information.โ
โI studied more than two hours for the collegiate championships.โ I reach over and grab the Advil on the nightstand and pop the cap. โYou just werenโt at Penn to see me, which was a shame. We could have studied together.โ I pause before I add, โIโm an excellent tutor. Just ask your sister.โ
She rolls her eyes but thereโs a smile behind them. Because if I didnโt tutor Lily in economics, she believes we wouldnโt be here today. But I make my own fate. We came together because we both wanted to be here more than anywhere else. We both had choices, and we both said yes to this, to us.
Thatโs not fate.
Itโs just desire.
And determination. Ambition. Resolve. We have it all.
โHow much do you remember from last night?โ I ask, expecting the answer to be something I hate. Iโm almost certain everything with the
strawberries and beyond has been swept from her mind by vodka. Iโve already come to terms with it, but before I drifted off to sleep, all I wanted was for those moments to be recorded and ingrained for life. What if they never happen again?
Itโs theย what ifย that clenches my heart in five different ways.
โHow much canย youย remember?โ she shoots back, drinking more water.
I almost have her hostile nature back completely. โAll of it.โ
โAnd how is that possible? You drank more than me.โ โYou remember that?โ I frown.
โYes, Richard.โ
After a long pause, I say, โI have a high tolerance.โ Itโs not entirely true. Iโve been on Adderall for a while now. Ever since I returned to Frederickโs
office, I went on a one week silent-streak until he prescribed me Adderall again. He caved on the seventh day, wanting to discuss my life so he could analyze all the details.
Mixing Adderall and alcohol is not a good or smart combination. The pills diluted the effects of the alcohol, so I was coherent for longer.
She stares off for a second. โI also rememberโฆโ She blushes. โNo wonder my ass hurts.โ
My chest swells. โWhat?โ
โYou spanked me.โ She slaps my arm. โโฆand I liked it.โ She adds, โIโll be sober next time. I promise.โ
I break into a smile that turns into a laugh. She remembers. I exhale deeply, my world brightening. I canโt contain the joy that fills me. I kiss her cheek, her lips.ย She remembers.ย The words lift me to a new plane of existence. I feel higher now than I did swallowing Adderall.
โWhat happened after you saidย forever?โ she asks as I kiss her nose. โYou passed out,โ I say, โand I tucked you in this bed and made sure
you didnโt vomit on yourself.โ She glares. โHow romantic.โ
โHowย real,โ I retort. โJust remember our romance isnโt the fake kind.โ โUnless youโre watchingย Princesses of Philly,โ she notes with the raise
of her chin. Before I can reply back, her eyes slowly widen. โWhat is it?โ I ask.
โWaitโฆโ She grabs my wrist and her mouth falls as she recalls something.
โRose?โ My heart lurches. She shoots to her feet, and I follow suit, grabbing her waist.
โMy sisters,โ she says. โI promised to sleep in their room. But Iโm here. I woke upย here.ย Which meansโฆโ She bolts out the door, wearing the same
black cotton dress from last night.
I walk after her with ten times less alarm. As soon as we pass the kitchen to go upstairs, Ben hurriedly stands from the breakfast table, deserting his cereal. He grabs his camera and rushes after us. Of the cast, we must be the first ones awake.
Scrawny Ben fumbles with his Canon, and he tries to bypass me on the staircase and film Rose, but I keep an arm out so he has to stay behind. Iโm going to be the closest to her in this situation. He can take a backseat.
She swings open the door to Lilyโs room, stampeding inside. I lean on the door frame, and Ben stays in the hallway, his camera pointed at me
since he canโt film inside the room. Heโs nice enough to keep his distance.
Rose comes screeching to a halt at the sight of her sisters. Daisy is sprawled on the bed, the comforters kicked all around her. Lily is on the other side, lost within a mound of blankets. Untouched. Unharmed.
Two guys sleep on the floor.
Ryke wakes at Roseโs thunderous entrance. He lifts his head off the
pillow and kicks off a quilt. Lo holds his knees and rubs his eyes, trying to get oriented to the light from the hallway.
โWhat the fuck?โ Ryke whispers, trying not to wake the girls. He glares at me. โWhy didnโt you tell her?โ
I give him a look. โAnd she would have believed me?โ Even if I said,ย Lo and Ryke decided to camp out in Lilyโs room to keep your sisters safe,ย thereโs a hundred percent chance she would have barged in here regardless. Plus, I was reveling in the fact that she remembered last nightโs events.
Ryke glances over his shoulder, checking on his brother who watches Lily yawn and stretch her arms. When Ryke stands and heads over to the door, Lily slides out of bed, wrapped in a blanket.
She finds Lo on the floor and beams at his appearance. She bites her lip and then impulsively straddles Lo, his back leaned against the wall. She
kisses his cheek and they talk softly, but she digs into him as she leans forward. Iโm not even sure she realizes sheโs doing it, but Loโs neck tenses as he holds in a groan.
And Roseโsheโs watching them with pursed lips.
Sheโs going to cock-block him for about ten minutes. Itโs one of her favorite hobbies. Iโd stop her, but her cold, bitchy attitude amuses me far more than people ever understand.
I nod to Ryke. โIโm surprised you slept on the floor. Youโre usually a walking billboard for REI. No hammock in your suitcase?โ
I smile and wait for the perfunctoryย fuck you.ย But it doesnโt come. He catches me off guard by stopping in the doorway, his face shadowed with worry and anger. I see it in the hard cut of his jaw.
โI need to talk to you,โ he says under his breath. Daisy shifts on the bed, waking with all the chatter. He quickly hands me his phone, a text conversation popped on the screen.
I scroll through it.
Iโm going to come inside of her wet pussy before I hand her off to you. I may even get a few friends to join.ย โ 212-555-9877
I try not to jump to conclusions, but my heart begins to speed, the Adderall not helping slow it down.
Who the fuck is this?ย โ Ryke
Julianย โ 212-555-9877
The conversation ends there. My eyes flicker up to him. โDid you punch him last night?โ I whisper so only he can hear.
โNo.โ
โI canโt imagine you reading thisโฆโ I check the timestamp. โโฆat four in the morning and doingย nothing.โ I picture Ryke slamming doors, darting to Julianโs bedroom and beating the shit out of him. But I forget that Ryke isnโt a testosterone-fueled idiot. Heโs intelligent in ways that most arenโt.
โIโm hoping itโs not his number. I was waiting to see if you had Julianโs so we could match them.โ
I grab my phone from my pocket and scroll through my contacts quickly. Ryke looks over his shoulder and meets Daisyโs gaze while I search.
โDonโt look at her,โ I advise. โSheโs going to know somethingโs wrong.โ โShe wonโt,โ he says, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
โYouโre wearing your emotions.โ
Ryke tries to blanket his face with contentedness.
I stare at him with raised brows. โNow you look constipated.โ
โFuck you.โ There it is. I smile while he goes back to his brooding self, not masking his concern.
When I read both numbers side by side, the bottom of my stomach falls. โNow whoโs wearing their emotions?โ Ryke retorts. โItโs the same
fucking number.โ He shakes his head. โI should have beat the fuck out of him last night.โ
โLower your voice,โ I whisper. โBen is right here.โ
Ryke glances out of the door frame and spots Ben hanging in the hallway. He eases back inside and says, โWhat are we going to fucking do?โ
โWhatโs wrong?โ Daisy slides between us. Sheโs about to go into the hall, but both Ryke and I stick out our arms to stop her here.
Rose, Lily and Lo bicker behind us, deeper inside the room. I ignore their voices as best I can. But I hear Lo say, โGo vomit in your Gucci
handbag, youโll feel better. And maybe youโll expel some of thatย bitch
inside of you.โ
โSays the guy whoโs more sloth than human. Go hug a tree and eat an ant.โ
I tune out the rest. Ryke and I exchange a look before staring back down at Daisy.
She rubs her temple, her long hair tangled at her waist. โI feel really short when you guys do that wholeย towering overย me thing.โ She swallows. โI think I need some water.โ She tries to leave again, but we block her. โOkay, really, whatโs going on?โ
I hand Rykeโs phone to Daisy. We both know that she can handle this information. Lo and Lily donโt need to hear it, which is why Ryke has kept this to himself.
โWaitโฆโ Daisy frowns, her brows scrunching. โโฆthis has to be a wrong number.โ
โItโs not,โ I say. โWe just checked.โ
She shakes her head. โHe wouldnโt say this to me. Heโs not that crude.โ โHe didnโt say it to you,โ Ryke tells her. โHe sent the text toย me. Heโs a
fucking guy, Daisโheโs going to be cruder to me, not his girlfriend.โ
She stares at the ground in thought. โWhatโฆwhat happened last night?
Did I do somethingโฆ?โ
โFuck,โ Ryke curses and he glares at me. โShe canโt remember anything.โ
Well, if it had to be either Rose or Daisy, Iโm selfishly glad it was this one who blacked out. โItโs fine. You didnโt do anything out of your nature, Daisy.โ
Her worry doesnโt dissipate with that fact, which is why I said it. I want her to break up with Julian. We all do. And somewhere in her head, she
does too. Sheโs just too frightened to do so.
โOkayโฆโ She hands me Rykeโs phone. And she tries to run her fingers through her hair, but it catches on a giant knot. She clears her throat. โOkay, Iโm going to think about thisโโ
โWhat is there to fucking think about?โ Ryke growls.
She stares up at him, and her eyes expand a little more than usual. Sheโs scared. โI have a shoot with him soon, a jeans campaign. I canโtโฆI canโt afford for there to be weird tension between us. He mayโฆโ She shakes her head. โโฆhe might complain to the designer about me. And Iโll be the one sacked. They really like him, and Mom will beโฆโ She struggles to breathe fully.
And then across the hall, the door to Julianโs room slowly opens.
Daisyโs eyes widen, and she mutters, โI have toโฆrun.โ And she dashes out of the doorway and down the flight of stairs.
โFuck,โ Ryke curses before sprinting after her.
As soon as theyโre gone, I shut the door behind me, concealing Rose, Lily and Lo inside so they donโt see whatโs about to happen.
Julian comes out, nodding to me with tired eyes. โIs there any hot water left?โ
โYeah,โ I say. โHey, man.โ I put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. โI
have to ask you something.โ He thinks weโre cool. It makes getting the truth that much easier from him, but my muscles constrict the longer I have to withstand Julian. I see the text and the threat of gangbanging Roseโs little sister in my brainโlike a warning of who he really is.
He groans. โIf this is about your friend, Ryke, you can save it. Iโve had to deal with a lot of bullshit being with Daisy, but that was ridiculous. Sheโsย myย girlfriend, and I had to put up with him grabbing at her.โ
I canโt defend Ryke right now even though I want so much to do so. He grabbed Daisyย onceย to keep her safe from him, atย herย wish.
I blink. โI thought she wasnโt your girlfriend.โ
He runs a hand through his messy hair. โFriends with benefits, whatever.
Weโre dating.โ
โExclusively?โ
He glares. โYeah, thatโs what I said.โย No itโs not, you asshat.
I hold up my hands. โIโm just trying to get things straight here.โ
โWell get this straight,โ he says. โYour friend isnโt going to be with her.
He needs to go find another girl and stop staring at mine.โ
โOkay,โ I say. โDid you text him last night though? He said you didโฆโ Julian frowns. โWhat are you talking about?โ
โAt four this morningโโ โI was asleep.โ
I hand him Rykeโs phone so he can verify.
โWhat the hell is this?โ He shakes his head and pushes the phone into my chest. โI didnโt send this.โ
I want to believe him because he appears confused. But if all models are like Daisy, then theyโre really good actors.
โRight,โ I say, pocketing Rykeโs phone. โIโll let him know. It must have been a prank.โ
Julian just shakes his head again. โEveryone here is fucking crazy.โ He nudges my arm. โAt least weโre the two normal ones.โ
โYeah, man.โ I nod with a smile and he heads to the shower without another word. I rub my jaw that hurts after concealing a scowl. I donโt know who to believe, but I think we all want Daisy far away from Julian until her photo shootโwhen she can actually break up with him without fearing being fired and subsequently her motherโs disappointment.
I head downstairs to make breakfast. Ben follows me. Before I go to the kitchen, I peek out the living room window.
Daisy runs through the snow. Barefoot. Without a jacket.
Ryke catches up to her easily, and he wraps his large coat around her body. He picks her up before she can protest, holding her beneath her legs and her back. Her feet are reddened and frostbitten, and she buries her head into Rykeโs bare chest while he talks to her, to calm her down.
I back away.
For as much as I give Ryke a hard time, I canโt imagine another person with a kinder soul.