ROSE CALLOWAY
I canโt come. Iโm so, so, so sorry! Just make sure no lilies, okay? And remember that I like your taste better than momโs. THANK YOU!ย โ Lily
I receive the text as soon as I arrive at the florist to pick out arrangements for the wedding.
Four months and two daysย โ Mom
Itโs like the countdown to the Apocalypse.
I text my sister back, telling her itโs fine. At least she didnโt make up a stupid excuse this time. Her โstomachachesโ for the past month have been more about her fear to come face to face with our judgmental mother.
Lily went from being ignored by our mom to being told to close her legs. To wear a lighter pink lip gloss (on the rare day she does wear makeup). To comb her hair so it doesnโt look tangled in a post-sex haze.
She ridicules. And we both know itโs not out of love, but her obligation to protect the reputation of the family.
I look around the flower shop quickly. Brett follows me today with his steadicam, nimbly keeping out of customersโ way as he films me. I arrived twenty minutes early so I could pick out what I liked and so my mother would have a harder time bulldozing my opinion.
First, I choose pink and cream roses for the centerpieces. I wait impatiently while the florist demonstrates an arrangement. She has tinsel sticking out from flowers. โSimpler,โ I urge. โJust the flowers. Weโll put them in one long row down the table. No separate vases, so it will look like one extended centerpiece.โ I look around and spot the table of white roses.
โThese for the bouquet. And we can wrap the stems in pearls.โ Iโm not sure if Lily will approve, but at this point itโs clear she doesnโt care.
The only request for the past two months has beenย no lilies. Otherwise, Iโm walking around blind.
While I wait for my mother, I click onto Twitter and type in #PoPhilly. A list of tweets pops up.
@RaderBull595:ย The Calloway girls are hot, but that tall one is such a bitch. Iโd bang Lils though.
@TVDFan70008:ย Have you seen the way Lo looks at Lily? *swoon*ย @thefieryheart:ย Brb building a shrine for Ryke and Daisy!ย @RealityXbites4:ย I loooove this show!! #TeamScottย @SlightlySpoiled:ย Canโt wait for Rose to dump Connor. Fry his dick!
#please
Lovely.
The reviews for the show have been much better than any of us could ever expect. Even though weโre labeled โfoul mouthed, rich, and conceitedโ most of the articles congratulate us for being real. For not trying to put on
fake faces in front of the cameras. Daisy burps, Lily says sexual comments on accident, and I threaten to castrate men. Some people like us for our flaws. Others still see us as caricatures. But I try not to let those comments bother me.
You canโt please everyone.
@Fashion4Goddesses:ย Just received my Calloway Couture dress!
Gorgeous!
My heart swells at that tweet. Soon after the first episode aired, my sales skyrocketed. And they have continued to grow exponentially with each new episode. Fizzle has even seen a spike in its stock. Hopefully the success will last.
The bells on the door clink together, and I quickly pocket my phone in my purse. My mother struts through like she suddenly bought the entire store. Her nose upturns at a vase of half-wilted daisies.
โYouโre early,โ I tell her. Ten minutes to be exact. โSo are you,โ she replies. โWhereโs your sister?โ
โSheโs not coming.โ I donโt use the stomachache excuse since Iโve
overdone it already. Instead I try the truth. โShe doesnโt like how you talk to her.โ
โLily has a voice of her own,โ my mother snaps. โIf she doesnโt like how I speak then she should tell me herself.โ
I donโt say anything. I donโt tell her that sheโs not the easiest woman to talk to, and it takes practice and skillโthat even I come away feeling more neurotic and unspun.
โI already picked out the flowers,โ I tell her.
She doesnโt seem surprised. โThen we have to choose between mine and yours because I already called in arrangements this morning.โย Of course.
She walks haughtily to a cabinet where white and orange lilies are gathered together with teal ribbon.
โShe specifically saidย noย lilies,โ I say angrily. โIโve already told you this ten million times.โ Not only that butย orangeย andย teal. Really? Maybe for Daisy but Lily is moreโฆsubdued.
My mother huffs and fingers the string of pearls on her neck. Her greatest tell. When sheโs particularly stressed or annoyed she touches them as though theyโre rosary beads, praying to the Holy Father for her
argumentative daughter to be docile and content.
โWhatโs wrong with lilies?โ my mother asks. โOlivia Barnesโ daughter had them at her wedding and they were just gorgeous.โ
โHer name is Lily,โ I say. โShe doesnโt find the pun as amusing as you do. And when she sees lilies everywhere, sheโll be upset.โ Not to mention that we receive unsolicited bouquets of lilies along with fan mail almost every week. From men that fantasize about my sex addicted sister. Those flowers are tainted in her mind.
โI already ordered them, so what do you want me to do?โ she says. โI canโt very well cancel, can I?โ
โYes, you can.โ
โI donโt understand why youโre so bent out of shape over the flowers.โ
I stand my ground. โI know Lily better than you,โ I remind her. โWeโre going to accommodate her one and only request.โ
My mother mumbles something that sounds likeย but sheโs not even here to voice it herself.ย Her eyes flit around the room before she huffs again. โWhat alternatives do you have in mind?โ
I show her the white and pink roses I picked out.
She gives me a look. โDonโt make this about you, Rose.โ
My lips press into a thin line and Iโm sure my nose flares. โMy name and the flower are not synonymous, Mother.โ
Poppy, my older sister, has never had trouble talking to her. Most of the time she just agrees willingly so that arguments donโt begin. Same with Daisy.
I canโt be agreeable with someone I know is wrong, regardless of her being my mother or not. Iโm not sure when I had the courage to say no. But she still doesnโt understand that my opinion isnโt less because Iโm her child. Iโm twenty-three years old. She may see me as a little girl who stands behind her at dance recitals, who tugs on her arm for advice about other
girls in school, but Iโm an adult now.
I appreciate her advice, I do, but I also have the right to disagree with it. And yet, this direction only causes arguments and fights. Neither of us can win if weโre in the same room.
My mother stares at the roses with narrowed eyes. I remember Daisyโs advice when I couldnโt get my mother to stop arguing with me. โTell her you love her,โ she said. โThat always works for me when I want something.โ
I give it a shot. โI love you, Motherโโ
โOh, donโt even start, Rose. I havenโt heard you say that in five years.โ
I suppose sheโs right. Since I rarely show affection to my mother, it makes sense that Daisyโsย I love yousย seem like blinding rainbows in comparison.
She spins on her heels and her eyes hit mine. They havenโt softened. โYou can cancel the order,โ she says. โBut Iโm not done discussing the
flowers or the centerpieces. God knows we both can find something better than an ice swan.โ
I try to smile. โThat sounds good.โ โHow is Daisy doing?โ she asks.
โGood.โ I donโt elaborate. She talks to Daisy enough. Whenever my sister is on the phone, itโs usually with her. And I have no right to keep Daisy with me after the reality show wraps. Thereโs nothing I can do but wait until Daisyโs olderโto see if sheโd like to live with us and distance herself from our mother a little more. To finally breathe the way I know she wants to. Itโs going to be a long wait, but Iโm willing to suffer through it.
โGood.โ She nods.
I pause for the rest of her question, but it never comes. โYouโre forgetting your other daughter.โ
โLily is twenty-one,โ she refutes. โSheโs lying in the bed she made for herself.โ
I shouldnโt have said anything.
โHow can you plan her wedding if youโre still bitter over the scandal?โ I ask in detest.
โBecause this wedding is the only thing that will return her reputation, and itโll wipe the stain sheโs set to the Calloway name. Itโs more important than my bitterness. It has to be perfect.โ
She looks me over, as if reminding me that theย perfectย element of the wedding is my job. โWe need to schedule a venue by the weekend. Iโll send you my top choices. Keep your phone on.โ She gives me a tight, rigid hug before leaving the store. And leaving me feeling more overwhelmed than before.
So much shit to do. Like planning a bachelorette party. I would have hired male strippersโbut for a recovering sex addict, thatโs not the smartest theme. I think Lily and Lo want to have a joint bachelor and bachelorette party anyway.
As I head out the door and find my Escalade on the curb, my mind
reverts back to everything thatโs been happening with Connor. His thumb. The shower. Love.
Loren may believe that Connor wonโt be there for me at the end of the line, but that night at the screening party made me realize how much I do trust him. How much I do know him. Lo was wrong on so many accounts, and thatโs only because Connor has let me see more than a couple sides of his life.
Whether Connor says it or not, he loves me enough to let me in more than halfway. And I know itโs time for me to do the same on a different kind of level.
I pull out my phone and send a quick text to Connor.
Bring wine tonight.
Since Lo is sober, we try to keep alcohol out of sight, so I have a trunk in our bedroom that Iโll store our stash in. I pause to think about my choice of alcohol. Wine? Iโm probably going to need something stronger.
And tequila.
I take a breath and wait for the text.
Is there a reason weโll be drinking tonight?ย โ Connor
Surprise. I reply back.
Canโt wait ๐ย โ Connor