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Chapter no 8

Kiss the Sky

CONNOR COBALT

The crew is on a lunch break, so the only cameras that film us are attached to the walls and ceilings. Itโ€™s a slight relief not having to ignore someone in the room.

Ryke, Lo and I are on the lowest level of the townhouse. A few days ago, Daisy found two rats squeaking in her closet, feces inside her boots. If that had been Rose, the house would have been flipped upside down. But Daisy was quiet about the whole ordeal and just mentioned it to Ryke. She wanted us to handle the issue without alarming her sisters.

So I lean against the wall while Lo squats in front of the crawl space with a trash bag. Ryke has disappeared inside the three-foot tall basement, the surface a brown soil, and the strong stench of mold and mildew

permeates from the small square door.

We wait for Ryke to check the rat traps that we set. โ€œYou look like shit,โ€ Loren so eloquently tells me.

Heโ€™s right. Dark circles shadow my eyes, and if it wasnโ€™t for the wall supporting my body weight, Iโ€™d be on the ground. Iโ€™m fueled by two hours of sleep. Being Saturday, I planned to catch up this morning, but I received an impromptu text from my mother. I had to take Cobalt Inc.โ€™s senior advertising team to breakfast and talk about product placement.

I suppose I could take a nap now, but I sip my coffee instead. Iโ€™d rather not missย this.

Watching Ryke inch around a cobwebbed space in search of a dead rat. I smile.ย Fuck sleep.ย Itโ€™s the little things in life that matter most.

โ€œIโ€™m a grad student trying to take over a multi-billion dollar company,โ€ I say to Lo. โ€œIf I didnโ€™t look like shit Iโ€™d be on drugs.โ€

I hear Ryke bang his head against a pipe. โ€œFuck me,โ€ he curses. โ€œFornicating with the rats already?โ€ I ask, cupping the warm mug. โ€œFuck you, Cobalt,โ€ he says with a grunt as he moves slowly. โ€œThe

shortest one of us should have crawled through here.โ€

Lo immediately takes offense. โ€œIf I knew you were going to bitch, I would have done it myself, and Iโ€™m only one inch shorter than you,ย bro.โ€

Ryke hits his head again and lets out a frustrated growl. โ€œIโ€™m still six fucking three.โ€

Lo rests his forearms on his thighs as he squats and watches his brother through the door. โ€œBesides being a giant, whatโ€™s taking you so long? You set the trap. You should know where it is.โ€

โ€œIt must have carried the trap with it.โ€

โ€œJust use your nose,โ€ I suggest. โ€œDogs have the best sense of smell.โ€ Lo laughs while I casually take another sip from my coffee.

โ€œFuck off,โ€ Ryke curses, which sounds really less threatening through the wall.

My phone vibrates in my pocket. I take it out and read the text quickly.

Have you given *the* talk to Loren yet?ย โ€“ Rose

Iโ€™m not surprised Rose has reverted back to fixating on Lily and Lorenโ€™s problems. She likes caring for her sisters, but I think focusing on Lily and Lo distracts her from dealing with her own issues.

I text back:ย Iโ€™ll do it right now.

One less problem that she obsesses over, one less stress in her life. I pocket my phone, and as I turn to Lo, I frame Roseโ€™s question as my own. โ€œIs Lily having more sex than usual?โ€

Rose doesnโ€™t know this, but Lo is surprisingly forthcoming about sex with Lily. Heโ€™s motivated by the fear of enabling her again, and it helps that he trusts my sage advice.

โ€œSheโ€™s not having it, but she wants it.โ€ He stands up, the trash bag still in hand. โ€œThis whole fucking reality show puts her on edge. And she

medicates her anxiety with sex, which means Iโ€™m not getting laid for the next week, and she only gets my fingers.โ€ He looks at the camera attached to the corner of the ceiling and wall, and he waves his fingers at the lens. Then he winks.

Andย thatย is why this show is going to be popular. The unfiltered narrative is exactly what makes good television.

โ€œSo youโ€™re not having sex?โ€ I say, not adding any disbelief to my tone, even though it rings in my head. Theyโ€™re almost always fucking at night and in the morning. Itโ€™s easy enough to hear through the walls.

Loren rubs the back of his neck, probably trying to decide if heโ€™s going to lie or not. When he drops his hand, he says, โ€œNo, I meanโ€ฆโ€ He takes a breath, and I wait it out patiently. โ€œWe fucked the other day. She was a little compulsive afterwards, so I want her to abstain for three or four days and

see how she does with that.โ€

โ€œAnd you used condoms?โ€ I ask.

He goes quiet for a second and then bangs on the wall with his fist. โ€œRyke, hurry the fuck up.โ€

โ€œLo,โ€ I say.

He turns on me with heated eyes. โ€œThis conversation is over.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m trying to imagine what Lily will look like pregnant,โ€ I say casually. โ€œWould her entire body swell or just her belly?โ€

โ€œAt least Iโ€™m getting laid,โ€ Lo refutes, pure malice edged in his voice. โ€œHow long have you beenย fuckingย your hand?โ€

He clenches his jaw after he says the words, holding back a grimace. Lo has a way of cutting people up with words, and heโ€™s improved from the first time I met him. He was a drunk asshole. Plain and simple. Now heโ€™s a sober asshole who regrets when his filter doesnโ€™t work properly.

Lucky for him, Iโ€™m difficult to piss off.

โ€œMy hand and I go way back,โ€ I say nonchalantly and even produce a smile.

He seems to relax when he knows he hasnโ€™t pushed me away.

โ€œIโ€™m not your brother.โ€ I motion towards the crawl space where Ryke has effectively disappeared. โ€œIโ€™m not going to curse you out for doing something stupid. But I am dating your girlfriendโ€™s older sister, so my own balls are on the line here.โ€

He nods like he understands. โ€œThe repercussions of getting into bed with a she-devil.โ€

โ€œAnd I fucking like her,โ€ I refute, โ€œso make my life easier and use a condom.โ€

I donโ€™t tell him that heโ€™s not ready to be a father, that the idea (for anyone) of Lily becoming pregnant is frightening. I donโ€™t tell him that alcoholism is hereditary or that heโ€™s too busy to raise a kid right now. He knows all of this. Heโ€™s heard it a thousand times from Rose and his own brother.

What Rose and Ryke donโ€™t understand is that if you say something over and over again, you can become desensitized to it. Andy Warhol used the theory in his painting of the electric chair. He repeated the image until you could no longer see it as something heinous.

It lost its meaning.

I donโ€™t repeat whatโ€™s already been said. I want my words to mean something.

So I gave him my selfish reason.

Iโ€™m the asshat who only cares about himself. I am what he needs me to be.

He stares at the ground for a long moment, processing. โ€œIโ€™ll be better about it,โ€ he mutters under his breath.

Noise from the crawl space ends our conversation. Ryke must knock into three pipes at once. He coughs and says, โ€œThereโ€™s so much fucking mold down here. No one should be fucking living on this floor until we hire someone to clean it.โ€

Lo bends down to the door again. โ€œIf this is your way of getting Daisy to room with you, you canย forgetย it. Iโ€™m just barely tolerating your

friendship.โ€

โ€œAre you fucking kidding me?โ€ Ryke retorts. โ€œThere were rats inย herย room, sheโ€™s living near mold, and your first assumption is that I want to fuck her?โ€

Lorenโ€™s eyes narrow. โ€œI didnโ€™t say anything about fucking her.โ€ Ryke groans.

Daisy is a sore subject between them, clearly. Since Ryke and Loren have a new relationshipโ€”just meeting a year and a half agoโ€”thereโ€™s tension involving the Calloway girls. Loren grew up with them. Ryke did not. Naturally, Lo would be protective of Daisy, but the problem I have is

that heโ€™s constantly consumed by Lily, always taking care of her, that he has no room to do so for another girl, not even one he sees as a little sister.

So while Lo believes heโ€™s protecting Daisy from his half-brother, heโ€™s really creating a barrier between Daisy and the only person here whoโ€™ll look out for her first rather than last.

And yet, I canโ€™t say a word about it. I have to let these things play naturally. My interference wonโ€™t do any good. My words wouldnโ€™t resonate

with Lo the way Iโ€™d want them to. So I stay silent on the matter.

โ€œIโ€™ll fucking room with Scott,โ€ Ryke says, speaking loudly so we can hear him from the hallway. โ€œDaisy can take my room. Or Iโ€™ll stay down here and switch with her. I donโ€™t give a shit. None of the girls should be around this.โ€

โ€œAnd what if she hears Lily and me fucking through the walls? Thereโ€™s a reason sheโ€™s on the lowest level.โ€

Ryke says nothing, but I can practically feel him fume from far away. Lo looks over his shoulder at me, asking with hard eyes whether heโ€™s right or wrong.

โ€œYou canโ€™t censor a girl whoโ€™s nearly seventeen, especially not a high fashion model,โ€ I tell him, my words not harsh like his or rough like his brotherโ€™s. Iโ€™m one-hundred percent even-tempered, calm. At ease. It gets him off the defensive. โ€œSheโ€™s heard and seen everything you have, if not more. Iโ€™ll call someone to look at the crawl space, but until it happens, Rose would want her sister somewhere clean.โ€

After a minute digesting my words, Lo sighs and lets go of the argument. โ€œRyke, youโ€™ll room with Scott?โ€

โ€œI said I would.โ€

โ€œFine. More eyes on that prick, the better, right?โ€

Ryke says something in affirmation, but I canโ€™t quite hear. He thumps around too much. โ€œFucking A,โ€ he curses, his voice much louder. He tries to pull his body out of the tiny space.

Lo grabs Ryke underneath his arm as he squeezes through the door.

When heโ€™s on his feet, he holds up the trap with the dead rat, the tail mangled like it dragged the weight from its backend.

โ€œHave we found you a new profession?โ€ I ask, my lips rising.

โ€œAt least I can get my hands dirty, princess.โ€ He waves the trap (and dangling rat) at my face.

I donโ€™t even flinch.

Ryke rolls his eyes and goes to toss it into the garbage bag.

โ€œWait,โ€ Lo calls. โ€œMaybe we can do something with this thing.โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ Ryke and I say together. I contain my grimace. Even though Ryke may be one of the smarter people living in the apartment, I donโ€™t enjoy agreeing with him. Itโ€™s like siding with a guard dog instead of a human.

โ€œYou didnโ€™t even let me finish,โ€ Loren says angrily. โ€œYou want to use it against Scott,โ€ I reply.

โ€œHeโ€™s the fucking producer,โ€ Ryke reminds him. โ€œYou start a war with Scott and he could turn you into a psycho on the show. Just fucking relax.โ€

โ€œHe made Lily bawl!โ€ Lo yells. โ€œIโ€™m not going to sit here for six months and ignore all the shit he says. This is different than social media and gossip blogs. Weโ€™re living with this bastard.โ€

Footsteps sound on the staircase, and all of us go suspiciously quiet.

When the body rounds the corner, Brett emerges, breathing heavily with the steadicam attached to his chest, and he only sprinted down one flight of stairs.

โ€œScott wantsโ€ฆyou all in the living roomโ€ฆfor the lap dance,โ€ he pants. Scott Van Wright is dictating everything. When. How. Where.

I fuckingย hateย him.

Lo looks to me, waiting for me to nod in approval of his methods to fuck with Scott.

I may hate Scott, but Iโ€™m not to that point yet. I wonโ€™t do something malicious or cruel thatโ€™ll have him checking into a psychiatric hospital, mentally torn to shreds.

I fight my battles much differently than Loren Hale. And while it may not be as quick or effectiveโ€”I have to trust that I have the power to keep my friends from falling tragically apart.

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