Well, we do manage to christen the house. It might not be our new house, but we christenedย somebodyโsย house.
Ethan is in a predictably good mood when weโre finished. No matter how many times weโve had sex, he still acts like itโs the greatest thing in the world and he canโt believe he got to score with me. Itโs sweet. Heโs a sweet guy. My friends were totally wrong about all the red flags. Heโs not perfect, but who is?
Maybe this is the right time to tell him about the baby. Heโs in a great mood, heโs excited about the houseโhow can there possibly be a better time?
โYouโre quiet,โ he notes as he zips up his khaki pants. โAm I?โ
โYeah. You look pensive.โ My lips twitch. โPensive?โ
โLike you have something on your mind.โ
This is the time. I could tell him. Maybe heโll be fine with it. He wants kidsย eventually. No, this isnโt quite the schedule we planned. But babies happen. You canโt control it.
I open my mouth, ready to say the words.ย Iโm pregnant, Ethan.ย But they donโt come out. And Iโm not sure why.
Maybe Iโm reluctant to give him some surprising and possibly upsetting news when weโre stuck in an isolated house, just the two of us, where nobody can hear us and thereโs no way to leave.
I blink, startled by my thoughts. That last one made no sense at allโit must be some sort of crazy pregnancy hormone paranoia. Yes, Iโm worried Ethan wonโt be thrilled about my news, and yes, he has a temper. But he wouldย neverย hurt me. I know that for a fact.
โI donโt have anything on my mind,โ I say finally. โJust a little tired.โ I grin at him. โYou wore me out.โ
Ethan beams, proud of himself. He stretches so that I can see some golden blond hairs on his belly. My husband is so handsome. When I first saw him, I thought he was the most perfect-looking man I had ever seen. I figured after I had known him and dated him for a while, I would notice more and more imperfections. And I have identified a few of them. His eyes are too close together. Heโs a bit on the short side for a man. Those curly golden hairs are not just on his chest, but also on his back.
But weirdly, all those imperfections make him even more handsome. I canโt explain it.
โWould it bother you if I took a shower?โ he asks. โA shower?โ
โSure. The hot water seems to be running.โ He winks. โAnd Iโve worked up quite a sweat.โ
โYeah, butโฆโ I donโt want to articulate how uncomfortable the idea of him going in the shower here makes me. โYou donโt have a change of clothing.โ
โIt would still be good to get clean.โ
I wrack my brain, trying to think of a good reason he shouldnโt take a shower. I canโt think of anything logical. โAre you going to use the master bathroom?โ
โI was planning to.โ
โDoesnโt it make you uncomfortable though? I mean, the last person who used that bathroom is a dead woman.โ
He shrugs. โI guess I donโt care that much. I mean, that shrink woman disappeared like three years ago. Itโs not like she used the bathroom yesterday.โ
Itโs pregnancy hormones. Iโm sure thatโs whatโs making me so uncomfortable about this. Thereโs no reason Ethan shouldnโt take a shower in the master bathroom. โFine. Iโm going to stay down here.โ
โSure. Finish your wine.โ
Right. That reminds me, I have to pour the rest of my wine down the sink so he thinks I drank it.
Itโs only when Iโm watching Ethan disappear up the spiral staircase that I remember the tape I stashed in the pocket of my coat. When I was in the office, I found that tape recorder, but there were no tapes to play in it. Now Iโve found the motherlode. Ethan surely wouldnโt want me to listen to the tapes, but if heโs going to be busy in the shower, I can do what I want.
As soon as the shower starts running upstairs, I retrieve the tape from the pocket of my coat and return to Adrienne Haleโs office. The tape recorder is right where I left itโon that beautiful mahogany desk. I sit down in the leather chair and examine the buttons on the dusty tape recorder.ย Record, Play, Rewind, Fast forward, Stop/Eject, and Pause.
Tentatively, I press the Stop/Eject button. The tape deck pops open.
I blow some of the dust off the tape recorder, then I pick up the tape I found in the hidden room. The initials on it are PL. Next to that, it says #2. And the date is from about six years ago. I remove the tape from the case and shake it out, then slide it into the tape deck. With one quick movement, I push the tape deck closed.
Iโm not sure if the batteries in the tape recorder are functional. Thereโs a chance that the Eject function is spring-loaded or something like that. How long do batteries last if youโre not using them? Ethan would probably know the answer to that. But he wouldnโt want me listening to these tapes, so I canโt ask.
I push my index finger against the rewind button. Instantly, I hear a whirring noise as the tape goes back to the beginning. Looks like the battery still works.
After about a minute, thereโs a click and the rewind process stops. The tape is at the beginning. Ready for me to listen.
My finger hovers over the Play button. Am I really going to do this? Am I really going to listen to the private sessions from Dr. Adrienne Hale that she recorded and hid away in a secret closet?
Yes. Apparently, I am.