Victoria is especially lethargic today. I wasnโt able to feed her any of her lunch, and dinner is going just as badly. She seems listless as I offer her spoonfuls of purรฉed carrots. On the plus side, she hasnโt given me any dirty looks for what happened last night.
I still canโt quite understand how that water glass tipped over. Maybe I donโt want to know.
Iโve been feeding her unsuccessfully for close to an hour when Adam peeks his head in. โIs this a good time to give her some medications?โ
Victoriaโs eyes widen at his statement. This is the most awake she has seemed all day.
โGive me another twenty minutes,โ I say. He nods. โOkay. Iโll be back.โ
Victoria had a mouthful of carrots and some of them drip out of the right side of her mouth. I try to clean it away with a napkin, but she pushes me away. โSylvie,โ she says.
Iโve noticed that whenever she says my name, she wants to tell me something important. โYes?โ
โNub.โ Her blue eyes are like saucers. โAdam nub.โ
I know now that sheโs talking about a gun. But I donโt know what sheโs talking about. I have not seen a gun in this house. Iโd think she was making it up if I didnโt see that bullet hole.
โYouโฆโ She points at the wall. โNub. In theโฆโ
I watch her face. Sheโs struggling to come up with a word. It looks so frustrating. She knows exactly what she wants to say, but she canโt say it. I can almost see the wheels turning in her brain, but sheโs not going anywhere.
โCoppit,โ she finally says triumphantly.
Well, great. I still have no idea what sheโs talking about. โCarpet?โ โNo.ย No.โ She squeezes her eyes shut for a moment then opens them.
โCoppit. Coppit. Theโฆ coppit.โ
No matter how many times she says it, itโs still a nonsense word. But then I look at where sheโs pointing. Sheโs not pointing at the wall. Sheโs
pointing at her closet. โCloset?โ I ask.
She nods vigorously. โYes. Adam coppit.โ
Is she trying to tell me thereโs a gun in her husbandโs closet?
Well, maybe there is. And if so, is it that big a deal? I can imagine wanting to have a gun out here for protection. If he has a gun in his closet, thatโs his business. Itโs not like heโs keeping it on a holster and swinging it around.
But thereโs a pleading look in Victoriaโs eyes. She wants me to get the gun. But I canโt do that. He would fire me.
Anyway, I trust Adam to have a gun. Itโs not that big a deal. โItโs okay,โ I tell Victoria. โIโll take care of it.โ
But I already know Iโm going to do nothing.