Victoriaโs Diary
December 16, 2016
So I started writing all this stuff down as a way to show my future children how I met their father because I just felt so convinced that this was it. Well, today I was proven right.
Adam finished a draft of his book yesterday. I begged him to read it, but he wouldnโt let me. He said he cares about my opinion too much, and it would make him nervous. So he sent it off to the editor, and he is awaiting their opinion. Of course, Iโm absolutelyย dyingย to read it, but I respect his wishes. If he doesnโt want me to read it yet, Iโll wait. He wonโt even tell me what itโs about or even what itโs called.
Anyway, to celebrate, we had this grand plan to go out to dinner after my shift ended today. He was asking me if I could get somebody to cover the shift, but that would be impossible on such short notice. I would only ask for help like that if I were seriously ill. Adam was grumbling about it, but he doesnโt get it. When youโre in the medical field, you canโt skip out on work to have a night out with your boyfriend. You justย canโt.
So I found myself in a packed ER this evening. Whatโs more, right in the middle of my shift, a multi-trauma motor vehicle accident arrived. It was a three-car collision where one person died and we had to send one person straight into surgery because their blood pressure kept dropping and it looked like they had a hemorrhaging spleen. And then there were two patients in a row with chest pain that ruled in for heart attacks and we had to send them straight up to the Cath Lab. Then a third patient with chest pain went into cardiac arrest just as we got him into an examination room.
He didnโt make it.
Needless to say, we were shaken after that one. After somebody dies in the ER, thereโs a somber atmosphere that overtakes the entire place, and it didnโt help that we were way behind. Anybody who was not actively dying was not going to get seen in the near future. It meant that when we did
finally get in to see one of the non-urgent patients, they were not pleased with us.
I was walking past one of the examining rooms when a man came out and stepped in front of me, blocking my path. He wasnโt a big guy, but he was significantly bigger than my five foot four frame. And I didnโt appreciate the way he folded his hairy arms across his chest and glared at me.
โMy wife has been waiting in that room forย six hours,โ he announced. โThis is an absolute disgrace. Is anybody ever going to see her?โ
I wanted to yell at him that somebody had just died here less than an hour ago, and he was just lucky his family member was still alive. Because delivering that news? It was horrible. But instead, I took a deep breath and gave him my best patient smile. โIโm afraid weโve had several urgent issues we had to address. But I promise weโll get to your wife as soon as we can.โ
I was praying the man would accept my placating words and move on. But he didnโt. โThatโs bullshit. Weโre going to be waiting here for another six hours, arenโt we?โ
Another deep breath. โThis is an emergency room,โ I explained. โWe have to see the most emergent issues first.โ I looked over at his wifeโs room and plucked the clipboard off the door. Fever for two days. Max temp of 101.6, but now 99.8. Not impressive enough. โIโm sorry. Weโre doing what we can.โ
โNo. I want you to go see her right now.โ The man stuck his finger in my face, about six inches from my nose. โIโm tired of waiting. My wifeย deservesย to be seen.ย Now.โ
I opened my mouth to respond to him, but before I could get any words out, I heard a voice from behind me: โIs there a problem here?โ
I jerked my head around and let out a breath of relief. I had never been so happy to see Mack standing behind me in his navy blue paramedic uniform. I always respected the fact that Mack was a big guy who could wrangle heavy or drunk patients, but in this moment, I appreciated how intimidating he could look when he wanted to. He had his meaty arms crossed in front of him, and he towered over the man next to me. When he lifted one black eyebrow, the man flinched and took a step back.
โNo. No problem.โ The man ducked his head down. โSorry.โ
And then he retreated back into his wifeโs room without another word.
I couldnโt help myselfโI burst out laughing. โYou totally scared the bejesus out of that guy.โ
Mack grinned, partially out of pride and (I suspect) partially because of my use of the word bejesus. โI sure did.โ
โYou can be terrifying. You know that?โ
He nodded. โWhen I played football in high school, they used to call me Mack Truck.โ
โI believe it.โ
By the end of my shift, I was completely exhausted and in no shape to go out with Adam for a night on the town. I texted him to let him know that I was going to want to crash as soon as I got home. I felt bad about it, but I could barely keep my eyes open.
No problem. Just get home as soon as you can, he wrote.
Adamโs apartment was further away from the hospital than my old place. For that reason, he insisted I take an Uber home when my shift ended very late. I argued with him a bit, but ultimately, I knew he was right. Braving the subway at midnight on a Tuesday night was just asking for trouble.
Mack said the same thing. Months ago, before I moved, he saw me leaving close to midnight one night and insisted on going all the way home with me. Thatโs why I canโt be too mad at him for getting so judgmental about me and Adam. I know heโs looking out for my best interest.
When I finally burst into our apartment at a quarter past midnight, the living room was dark. I assumed Adam had decided against waiting up for me. But after a moment, I realized I was wrong. He was very much awake. And the apartment wasnโt actually dark.
It was lit by candles.
Future Children, I want to hold every moment of this experience in my memory. I want to capture every detail because this is a moment Iโm going to want to relive for the rest of my life. The dozen candles arranged carefully around the room to set the mood. The trail of roses leading into the living room, for goodness sake. And then Adam. Down on one knee. His green eyes gazing up into mine. Your father looked so handsome at that moment. You canโt even imagine.
โVictoria,โ he said.
I was already crying. Iโm not a crier, but I couldnโt help myself.
โVictoria.โ He opened the blue velvet box in his hand. And oh my. You would not believe this ring. Well, Iโm guessing youโve seen this ring, but I probably keep it in a safe or something because the diamond is gigantic. If I wore this ring on the subway, I would almost definitely be murdered or at the very least have my ring finger sliced off. โI love you so much, Victoria.โ
โI love you too,โ I whispered through my tears.
โAll I want is to spend the rest of my life with you.โ He took my hand in his. โWill you marry me?โ
Of course, I said yes!
So that is the story of how I got engaged to the man of my dreams and lived happily ever after and gave birth to youโฆ eventually. That part hasnโt happened yet obviously, but Iโm going to keep recording every detail of our lives together. Short of something very unexpected, I think Adam and I are going to have a great life together.
โThis ringโฆโ I stared down at it, unable to get over howโฆย bigย it was.
I still canโt, honestly. โYou must have spent a fortune.โ โWell, youโre worth it.โ
I was afraid to ask how much it cost. I didnโt want to know if I was wearing a ring that cost more than my college education. But suffice to say, if you ever have any financial problems, you can sell my ring and youโll be out of trouble.
I was shaking so badly from the entire experience that I had to get off my feet before I collapsed. Adam thought it was cute. โI would have proposed to you ages ago if I knew you would react this way,โ he said.
I laughed. Through the candlelight, I blindly reached out for my Papasan chair in the corner of the room but grasped only air. I blinked, still trying to adjust to the dim light from the candles.
โWhere is my chair?โ I said. Adam frowned. โWhat?โ
โMy Papasan.โ A jab of panic took me down from the cloud I had been floating on. โWhere is it?โ
โYou mean that piece of junk chair from your old apartment?โ He shook his head. โI tossed it. I put it out on the curb this morning and itโs gone now.โ
My mouth fell open. In spite of his incredibly romantic proposal and ridiculous ring, I was suddenly furious with him. That wasย myย chair! It was the only thing from my old apartment that he allowed me to keep, and now he threw it awayโฆ without my permission? That chair was your birthright!
โI told you I wanted to keep that chair,โ I said through my teeth.
โIt was a piece of shit, Vicky.โ His brows bunched together. โIt made the whole apartment look cheap. Iโd be embarrassed to have people over with that chair here.โ
โWhat people? You donโt have any friends.โ
Now it was Adamโs turn to look shocked. Honestly, I was shocked at myself. Why did I say something like that? It wasnโt like me to be so mean. But itโs true. Adam doesnโt have any friends. He has his agent. And his editor. But other than that, there is nobody else in his life. He doesnโt even
speak to his parents. Thereโs nobody aside from me. But thatโs not the point. I shouldnโt have said it.
โIโm sorry.โ I rubbed at my eyes with the balls of my hands. โIโm justโฆ Iโm tired. And this guy died in the ER today andโฆโ
His eyes were filled with hurt. For a moment, I was scared he might take back his proposal. But he didnโt. He put his arms around me and kissed me.
โI donโt need friends,โ he said. โIโve got you.โ He squeezed me tighter. โIโm sorry about the chair. Weโll get you a new one. Any chair you want.โ
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was just about the sweetest thing a man has ever said to me. And not just any man.
My future husband. Your father.