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Chapter no 23

Want to Know a Secret?

To: Fall Carnival Committee From: Alice Knowles Subject: Re: Carnival

I am supposed to help out tomorrow at the fall carnival at the beanbag toss. But I noticed tonight that I have a bit of a scratchy throat, so I donโ€™t think Iโ€™m going to be able to make it.

To: Fall Carnival Committee From: Patty Westman Subject: Re: Carnival

I was supposed to make brownies for the carnival, but I just realized that I donโ€™t have any eggs in the house! So unfortunately, Iโ€™m not going to be able to bring brownies as promised. That is, unless somebody wants to come to my house and bring me some eggs!

To: Fall Carnival Committee From: Teresa Yu

Subject: Re: Carnival

I just realized that this weekend is my parentsโ€™ anniversary! I was supposed to volunteer at the bouncy house for the 2-3 PM shift, but I canโ€™t do it because of this prior obligation.

To: Fall Carnival Committee From: Julie Bressler

Subject: Re: Carnival

The grocery store sells eggs, Patty.

Can anybody take Teresaโ€™s shift at the bouncy house?

To: Fall Carnival Committee From: April Masterson Subject: Re: Carnival

No worries, Patty! Iโ€™ll make extra brownies!

To: Fall Carnival Committee From: Sean Cooper

Subject: Re: Carnival

I am doing the 1-2 PM shift at the bouncy house, so Iโ€™ll do Teresaโ€™s shift after. Unless it turns out to be my parentsโ€™ anniversary too.

The fall carnival takes place on the first weekend of November.

Itโ€™s a massive event. Because of the chilly weather, everything is set up in the large gymnasium of the elementary school. There are two bouncy houses (one for jumping and one with a slide), loads of games, and I am manningโ€”what else?โ€”the bake sale. People were supposed to bring in baked goods early this morning, but unfortunately, nobody ever does what they say theyโ€™re going to do. But I have enough experience now that I anticipated it, so about three-quarters of the food on the table was made by me. I spent most of the morning baking.

The silent auction is still going as well and will be active until midnight. Weโ€™re going to announce the winners tomorrow. I think weโ€™re going to break some records.

Strangely enough, the bake sale is not going very well. Usually, half the food is gone by an hour into the carnival. And I made all the baked goods everybody loves. I donโ€™t understand why nobody is buying anything. Iโ€™ve sold only one brownie and two cookies.

โ€œWould you care for any baked goods?โ€ I call to Carmen Landers, who is passing by the table with her five-year-old son. โ€œWeโ€™ve got just about everything!โ€

โ€œMommy, I want a brownie!โ€ the little boy cries. โ€œThe one with M&Ms!โ€

I did make two kinds of brownies. One with M&Ms and one without.

Carmen looks down at the table, then up at me, and she flashes me an uncomfortable smile. โ€œI donโ€™t think itโ€™s a good idea.โ€

โ€œBut Mommyโ€”โ€

But Carmen is yanking her son away from the table, even as heโ€™s crying for a brownie. Whatโ€™s going on? Every other game or event seems to be doing great. Only the bake sale is crashing and burning. I donโ€™t get it.

And then Carrie comes over, looking much more tired and probably a lot older than the infamous babysitter. I feel desperate to make a sale, so I shove a tray of blondies in her direction. โ€œI made your favorite,โ€ I say.

โ€œUm.โ€ Carrie frowns. โ€œIโ€ฆ uh, Iโ€™ll pass.โ€

What is going on here? โ€œAre you sure? You love my blondies!โ€ She furrows her brow. โ€œApril, are you sure you should be here?โ€ I put my hands on my hips. โ€œWhat are you talking about?โ€

โ€œAfter what you posted on the school Facebook page, I figured you wouldnโ€™t show upโ€ฆโ€

What?

Immediately, Iโ€™m fumbling with my phone, loading the school Facebook page. I see all the notices on Facebook about the auction and the carnival. And sure enough, thereโ€™s a post from April Masterson:

OMG, you guys, I have never been so sick. I have been throwing up for the last 12 hours! Baking and G.I. bugs donโ€™t go well together!

My mouth falls open. โ€œIโ€ฆ I didnโ€™t make that post.โ€ Carrieโ€™s eyes widen. โ€œReally?โ€

I click on the name April Masterson. It opens up a Facebook profile set to private. The profile photo is the same as mine, but itโ€™s clearly a dummy account. Somebody set it up to make that post. And God knows what else theyโ€™ve posted. Iโ€™ll have to contact the principal to have the account taken off the schoolโ€™s Facebook page.

โ€œWho would do that?โ€ Carrie says.

I shake my head weakly. โ€œIโ€ฆ I have no idea. I guess somebody thought it would be a funny prank. But I swear, I donโ€™t have a G.I. bug. Can you please buy a blondie?โ€

โ€œOf course!โ€

Carrie makes a show out of giving me the money for a blondie, then she picks one up from the tray. But I follow her with my eyes and the second she gets away from me, she tosses it in the trash. I guess I canโ€™t blame her.

I donโ€™t know what to do now. Even if I got the post removed at this point, itโ€™s too late. Everyone has already seen it. What am I supposed to do? Put a sign on my table saying โ€œI didnโ€™t actually spend the last twelve hours vomiting.โ€ I feel like that will only make things worse.

I canโ€™t believe I made all this food for nothing.

But itโ€™s fine. I enjoy the bake sale, but the real moneymaker is the silent auction. And weโ€™re going to clean up on that one. The bidding for the Yankees tickets is really out of control.

After Carrie wanders away, I scan the crowd of children and parents milling around. The bake sale is outside of the gymnasium, but I can see inside if I crane my neck. Iโ€™ve been looking for Maria, but I havenโ€™t seen her since Iโ€™ve been here. I havenโ€™t seen her since she caught me unearthing Raffey from my backyard. Iโ€™ve been desperate to find a way to apologize for that. I also want to tell her that I spoke to Bobby, who has sworn he didnโ€™t have anything to do with it, but she probably wouldnโ€™t believe me

Remembering how much Maria liked my apple turnovers at the book club, I put a couple of them in a napkin and head into the gym. I know sheโ€™s volunteering there. Maybe sheโ€™ll appreciate it if I bring her some sustenance. After I explain that I donโ€™t actually have a vomiting illness.

I find Maria at the table with the raffle bags. Sheโ€™s sitting behind the table, next to Julie. Apparently, they are doing the raffle together. I didnโ€™t realize that. And as I approach, I notice theyโ€™re deep in conversation. Maria says something, and Julie laughs. Itโ€™s a genuine laughโ€”not Julieโ€™s usual sarcastic laugh.

Itโ€™s been monthsโ€”maybe yearsโ€”since Iโ€™ve heard Julie laugh that way. I wave to try to catch Mariaโ€™s eye when I get close enough. She doesnโ€™t smile or wave back, but we make eye contact. She looks right at

me. Then she lowers her head and says something else to Julie. Julie glances my way, then laughs again.

Are theyย laughingย at me?

I lift my chin and stride over to them. I plaster a smile on my face, even though Iโ€™m feeling very self-conscious. I should have dressed up more, like both of them did. I thought it would be enough to wear my skinny jeans and a nice cashmere sweater. I mean, I donโ€™t want to get chocolate all over my best clothingโ€ฆ

โ€œHi!โ€ I say brightly. โ€œHowโ€™s it going?โ€

Julie frowns at me. โ€œApril, I donโ€™t understand why you came to the bake sale if youโ€™re sick. Itโ€™s very irresponsible of you.โ€

I grit my teeth. โ€œIโ€™m not sick.โ€

โ€œBut you said on Facebook that youโ€™ve been vomiting for the last twelve hours.โ€

โ€œThat wasnโ€™t me.โ€ I hate the whining edge in my voice. โ€œSomebody was impersonating me. It mustโ€™ve been a joke.โ€

โ€œMmm.โ€ Julie looks away and fiddles with one of the raffle bags. โ€œFine. Then maybe you should get back to the bake sale.โ€

โ€œJust taking a break!โ€ I hold out the apple turnovers. โ€œWould you guys like a sample from the table?โ€

Maria barely looks at me. Julie eyes the turnovers then shakes her head. โ€œNo, thank you.โ€

โ€œUm, okay.โ€ I stand there awkwardly for a moment with the apple turnovers in my hand. โ€œIt seems like the carnival is a huge success though. You did an amazing job, Julie.โ€

If thereโ€™s one thing I know Julie loves, itโ€™s compliments.

โ€œWeย allย did an amazing job, April,โ€ she says. โ€œIt wasnโ€™t just me putting this together. I couldnโ€™t have done it without help from all the other parents.โ€

And she smiles at Maria. Even though I did half the freaking work for this carnival.

โ€œWell!โ€ My cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling. โ€œI guess Iโ€™ll get back to the bake sale.โ€

โ€œYou do that,โ€ Julie says.

My cheeks are burning as I walk back across the gym. I canโ€™t believe the way Maria snubbed me. Julie and I used to be so closeโ€”she was the

one who told everyone in town to watchย Sweet Secretsย and helped me make the show a success. Sheโ€™s been my best friend for five years! But now that Maria is around, itโ€™s like I canโ€™t do anything right in her eyes.

I can only imagine what Maria has been saying to her about me. I donโ€™t know how that stupid giraffe ended up in my backyard. It wasnโ€™t Bobbyโ€™s fault, and it definitely wasnโ€™tย myย fault.

Tears are pricking at my eyes. I certainly donโ€™t want to go back to the bake sale, where everybody is staring at me like I have the plague.

So instead of leaving the gym, I hang right. Thatโ€™s where the bouncy houses are. Where Sean is doing his second shift, since Teresa backed out. But he doesnโ€™t look like heโ€™s getting too burned out. Heโ€™s teasing this little girl about her sparkly pink shoes, and sheโ€™s giggling. Heโ€™s really good with kids. And heโ€™s such a good dad.

Meanwhile, my husband isnโ€™t here at all. Heโ€™s working. Obviously.

Sean knocks on the door to the bouncy house. โ€œHey! Sixty more seconds of bouncing then everybody out for the new group! Time to go crazy!โ€

I take a deep breath and walk over to Sean, who seems taken aback to see me. Heย literallyย takes a step back.

โ€œHi,โ€ I say.

โ€œUh, hi, April,โ€ he says.

He must think I have the plague, like everyone else. โ€œI guess you saw that post on Facebook,โ€ I say.

He frowns. โ€œFacebook? No, I donโ€™t have a Facebook account.โ€ Oh, thank God.

โ€œLucky you.โ€ I snort. โ€œSo how is it going over here? Looks like fun.โ€

โ€œYeahโ€ฆโ€ He rubs at the back of his neck as he avoids my eyes. โ€œItโ€™s pretty busy.โ€

โ€œWell, I donโ€™t want to interrupt or anything. I just thought you might enjoy a snack.โ€ I hold out the turnovers, wrapped in a napkin. โ€œItโ€™s those apple turnovers you loved the other night. I saved some for you.โ€

Actually, thereโ€™s a whole pile of them back at the bake sale table. But he doesnโ€™t need to know that.

I had hoped Seanโ€™s eyes would light up like they did that night of the book club, but instead, he takes another step back. โ€œI better not.โ€

I look back at the raffle table. Sure enough, Mariaโ€™s eyes are on my back. I turn back to Sean, my own eyes narrowing. โ€œDid Maria tell you not to talk to me?โ€

โ€œWhat? No.โ€

Liar. โ€œSo why donโ€™t you want a turnover?โ€

โ€œI justโ€ฆโ€ He shrugs. โ€œI just donโ€™t. Iโ€™m not hungry.โ€

โ€œFine.โ€ I almost crumble the turnovers in my hands. โ€œAre you picking up Bobby to go play soccer at the park tomorrow?โ€

He drops his eyes. โ€œUh, I was thinking it would just be me and Owen tomorrow. Just some one-on-one time. Sorry about that.โ€

The tears in my eyes are getting dangerously close to the surface. โ€œI seeโ€ฆโ€

โ€œLook,โ€ he mumbles, โ€œIโ€™ve got to get back to workโ€ฆโ€

And then he turns away from me to deal with the bouncy house. Our discussion is over.

Fine. Iโ€™ll just eat them myself. Who needs to be able to button my pants?

Nobody stole any food from the bake sale table while I was gone. If anything, it looks like thereโ€™s somehow more food on the table than there was before. What am I going to do with all this food? I canโ€™t even give it away.

โ€œMom! Mom!โ€ Itโ€™s Bobby. I havenโ€™t seen him in half an hour, because heโ€™s been off playing with his friends. The fact that heโ€™s returned could mean only one thing. โ€œI need more tickets to go on the bouncy slide!โ€

I wince. โ€œBobby, I gave you forty dollarsโ€™ worth of tickets!โ€

โ€œYes, but everything costs so many tickets.โ€ He pouts. โ€œI need more.

Leo and Owen are goingโ€ฆ I donโ€™t want to be left outโ€ฆโ€

That one tugs at my heartstrings. Especially since I just got left out by Leo and Owenโ€™s mothers. So I reach into my pocket and pull out the tickets I had been planning to use to enter the raffles. โ€œFine. But this is all Iโ€™ve got.โ€

I guess I wonโ€™t be entering any raffles. Not that I would dare go near that raffle table again.

My heart isnโ€™t in this carnival right now. Nobody is buying any of my baked goods, and people look like theyโ€™re afraid to even breathe the same

air as me. I can barely manage a smile. Itโ€™s not like Iโ€™m the sort of person who feels like they need to be loved by everyone. Butโ€ฆ

Well, maybe I do feel like I need to be loved by everyone.

Maybe I should go. Iโ€™ll give Bobby a chance to go on the slide with his friends, then Iโ€™m going to abandon my station here and just leave. Nobody will even notice Iโ€™m gone. I start to put the money away, and thatโ€™s when I hear the loud thump from inside the gym.

All of a sudden, thereโ€™s a hush within the gym. Broken only by the sound of somebody shouting to call 911.

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