Now you think I’m a terrible person.
I think I’m a terrible person too. What kind of decent human being does something like this? Not only am I cheating on my husband, but I’m doing it with his best friend. It’s not just awful, it’s cartoon villainy awful.
The best I could say is neither of us meant it to happen. It was just one of those things.
It all started back in February. Jack runs his own contracting business, and we were having our kitchen redone. Jack, being one of our oldest friends, gave us the friends-and-family price. He was supposed to be done by the time my school’s winter break started, but he was still working by then. Both the kids were at a winter vacation camp, and I was stuck at home while the construction was ongoing.
I was just trying to be friendly—I swear. I would offer him some water or coffee. And then we would chat while he worked. I got to talking about me and Noah, and about how things had gotten so bad lately. I’d always thought Jack and Michelle had a storybook marriage, but he revealed that wasn’t the reality. He said she had become cold and distant lately, and she worked practically all the time. She made it very clear to him that work was her first priority. He was a distant second.
On the last day of winter break, Jack kissed me.
Nobody but Noah had touched me like that since I was twenty years old. And Noah himself hadn’t touched me like that in a long time. I had started to think I was dead inside, but that kiss showed me I was wrong.
I wasn’t dead. But Noah was killing me.
So for the last four months, we’ve been sneaking off together. Jack has flexible hours, so he can pop over at the end of the school day, when the kids are at their afterschool activities. His house is always empty since Michelle barely leaves the office. They’ve made it almost too easy for us.
I’m falling in love with Jack. And I think he feels the same way about me. But there’s nothing we can do about it. If I left Noah under these circumstances, it would be a horrible, messy divorce. I don’t want to do that to the kids. And if Jack left his divorce lawyer wife under any circumstances, she would destroy him.
So we live for these little moments we have together. And we know it can’t go on forever, so we’re just trying to enjoy it while it lasts.
I allow Jack to kiss me for about fifteen seconds, then I gently push him away. “We have to get back to the car.”
“Yeah.” He lifts an eyebrow suggestively. “I can’t wait to get you alone.”
“Me too.” A fantasy fills my head. What if Jack and I grabbed an Uber and just took off together right now and didn’t look back? Well, I’d obviously come back to get my kids, but we could at least disappear for the week. I would give anything to get out of this toxic car ride. But obviously, that’s not possible. “We better go.”
I go out first, so it doesn’t look suspicious. Noah is standing outside the minivan, and he looks up sharply when he sees me. He has an unreadable expression on his face, and for a moment my stomach turns to ice. Does he suspect?
I don’t want Noah to know. It’s entirely possible he’s cheating on me too, and that idea doesn’t even bother me. But the fact that this is happening with Jack… That’s the part I think would kill him. His best friend. One of his only friends. Men have been driven crazy over lesser betrayals.
“You done using the bathroom?” he asks. “You done getting gas?” I retort.
“Yep.”
Jack emerges from the back of the convenience store, whistling a little tune to himself. It’s time to get back on the road. I brace myself and climb inside.
The car is stifling. I slide the window open and I want to stick out my face. It’s only the end of June, but it’s really hot today. If it doesn’t cool down, we’re not going to be able to do much outdoors during this trip.
“Close the window,” Noah says. “It’s stuffy in here.”
“I turned on the air conditioner.”
“Well, I don’t feel it yet. When it starts up, I’ll close the window.”
“The car is never going to get cool if you’ve got the window wide open. I’m not sure why I need to explain that to you.”
I feel a lump in my throat. I don’t think I realized quite how bad things were between me and Noah until this trip. I want to reach out with my bare hands and strangle him right now.
“Hey, listen.” Warner’s baritone interrupts my murderous thoughts. “I just wanted to let you know I printed out some paper maps to help us find the place.”
Lindsay beams at him. “You’re always so prepared!”
Noah glances behind his shoulder, then taps the navigation screen on the dashboard of the minivan. “No need. I plugged it into the GPS.”
“Yeah, but we might lose the signal when we get closer. It’s sort of in the middle of nowhere.”
For the first time during this trip, Noah looks uncomfortable. I remember from back in our college days, before we had GPS navigation, how frustrated he would get if we ever got lost. “You think we’re going to lose our signal?” he asks.
“I need to be able to access the Internet!” Michelle speaks up. She sounds slightly hysterical. “I’ve got a lot of work to do! I can’t be cut off from the world.”
“The inn has Wi-Fi,” Warner assures her, never losing composure in his perfect features. “But around that area, the signal is spotty. I just thought it was safer to print out some maps.”
“It’ll be fine, Noah,” Jack says. “I’m great at map navigation. I’ve even got a compass in my bag. It’s one of the things I learned when I was
—”
“A Boy Scout,” Noah finishes. “Right. I remember.”
Warner’s prediction about losing our Internet signal makes me anxious though. I don’t want to lose access to my phone. What if Penny calls about the kids? Emma is already not coping well, and I hate the idea of her not being able to reach us. I quickly shoot off a text to Penny:
Just a heads up we may lose phone access when we get close to the hotel. Will call you tonight.
I take a deep breath and try to relax. There’s nothing we can do. It won’t be long before we’re at the inn. I just have to hang in there.
