Erika
โMom! Mom, are you listening to me?โ
My head snaps up from the dishes in the sink. Hannah is supposed to be unloading the dishwasher while I clean the pots, but instead, sheโs spent the last several minutes ranting about some girl in her math class named Ashley. Iโve been so absorbed in the events of today that I guess I tuned her out. I have no idea what Hannah has said in the last several minutes. I close my eyes, hoping I can rewind the ribbon in my brain, but I canโt. Whatever Hannah said is gone forever.
โUm,โ I finally say.
โI knew it!โ Hannah looks triumphant. โYou werenโt listening to me.
Youย neverย listen to me.โ โYes, I do.โ
โFine. Then tell me something thatโs going on with me.โ
I put down the sauce pan Iโm rinsing off. โYouโre not handing in your American history homework?โ
Hannahโs cheeks turn pink. โI told you. Those assignments are stupid.โ โIt doesnโt matter. You still have to do them.โ
โBut whatโs the point? Why do I need to know about some stupid war that happened, like, five-hundred years ago?โ
โThe revolutionary war happened two-hundred-fifty years ago, Hannah.โ
โUgh!โ She puts her hands on her hips. Sheโs been doing that when sheโs upset ever since she was two years old. โWhatโs the difference? Itโs still a really long time ago.โ
โIt doesnโt matter if you think itโs stupid or not. Itโs part of your education. Liam alwaysโโ
โRight. Liam. You want me to be just like him. Because heโsย so
perfect.โ
I turn to Hannah, staring at her pale, round face. Iโm not entirely sure if sheโs being sarcastic or not. Most of the worst stuff with Liam happened
when he was much youngerโI would imagine Hannah is too young to even remember. When we sent him to Dr. Hebert, he was only seven and Hannah was five. Iโve tried my best to shield her from what goes on, but sometimes I wonder how much she knows.
Does Hannah know anything?ย Everything? What has Liam told her?
Did she mention Olivia in the car to tease Liam or to tip me off? โAfter all,โ Hannah adds, โheโs yourย favorite, isnโt he?โ
My cheeks burn. I hate that itโs so obvious how I favor Liam over her. I shouldnโt. Itโs a sign of terrible parenting. I read once that most children long for their parents to be proud of them, so it makes sense that Hannah is struggling in school if she feels like sheโll never do as well as her brother.
โHannah,โ I say, โyou know thatโs not true. I love both of you equally.โ She snorts.
โLook. Why donโt we do something together? Just the two of us. I can take you to the mall this weekend and we can get you some new clothes. We havenโt had a shopping spree in almost a year. I owe you.โ
My daughter narrows her eyes at me, but it doesnโt take much to win her over. New clothes usually do the job. โCan we go on Saturday?โ
โSure.โ
โAnd can we go to Purple Haze after?โ
Purple Haze is an ice cream shop that Hannah used to love when she was a little kid. โOf course.โ
Her lips widen in a smile. โOkay. That sounds good.โ
Of course, then I start to second-guess myself. I just discovered Hannah hasnโt been handing in her history assignments. Maybe this situation doesnโt call for a reward. But now that Iโve told her weโre doing this, I canโt very well take it back.
โBut,โ I add, โweโll only go if you hand in all your history homework this week. And I want toย seeย it, Hannah.โ
Hannah looks like sheโs about to start pouting, but then her shoulders drop. โOkay. Fine.โ
A small victory.
Before we can make a further dent in the dishes, the front door opens, and the heavy footsteps of my husband and son float into the kitchen. Jason took Liam out for another driving lesson tonight. Apparently, things are going very wellโLiam is a natural behind the wheel. No surprises there.
They come to find us in the kitchen, where weโve barely made a dent in our chores for the evening. Jason is grinning broadly, and he slings an arm around Liamโs shoulders. โWhat can I say, Erika? Our kid is a great driver. Just like his dad.โ
I shoot him a look.
โAnd his mom,โ Jason quickly adds. Hannah snorts. โNice save, Dad.โ
She has commented on more than one occasion that Iโve got Jason completely whipped. I donโt know if itโs true, but heโs a good husband. I donโt have to nag him to take out the garbage, he always remembers our anniversary, and he changed more than his fair share of diapers when the kids were little.
If thereโs one thing I would change about him, Iโd wish he were a little less laid-back. Especially when it comes to my concerns about Liam. Heโs always shrugged everything off as โboys will be boys.โ But I know one of these days itโs going to be bad enough that he wonโt be able to do that anymore.
I look at Liam, and his face has no expression until he notices me watching him. Then he smiles. โI canโt wait to get my license,โ he says.
โAnd then you can drive me to school in the morning,โ Hannah pipes
up.
โSure.โ Liam gives me a pointed look. โIf Mom and Dad get me a car.โ โWeโll see,โ Jason says. โFor now, stick with your motherโs Toyota.โ
I brace myself, waiting for him to add, โWeโll probably get you one for
your birthday.โ But he doesnโt. Thank God. I think Liam will be a good driver, but something about him having his own car makes me a little uneasy.
โBut Liam did do great today.โ Jason joins me at the dishwasher and starts unloading dishes on his own, even though itโs Hannahโs job. โHe checked his mirrors when he was supposed to. He did the right thing when we got to every stop sign. I wasnโt terrified even once.โ
Liam laughs. โThanks, Dad.โ
โYouโve got to be careful out there,โ he says. He pulls out a couple of plates from the dishwasher and cocks his head thoughtfully. โHey. Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car accident? But heโs all right now.โ
Hannah lets out a groan. Liam and I are silent. โHeโs allย rightย now,โ Jason says. โBecause he has no left arm or leg. Get it?โ
โNo, I get it,โ I say.
Jason grins at me. โWell, youโre not laughing. So I thought I needed to explain it.โ
โNope.โ
Jason winks. Even before the kids were born, he used to tell his cheesy jokes. But back then, a lot of the jokes involved a saucy double entendre. Now theyโre straight up dad jokes. But I find it endearing that he persists in making them, even though nobody laughs.
My phone starts ringing from the living room. I use the generic ringtone my iPhone came with, because I canโt be bothered to change it. Truth be told, Iโm not entirely sure how. My husband is a tech guy and I canโt change the ringtone on my phone.
I hurry to the phone and pick it up before it stops ringing. I stare down at the name that pops up on the screen. Frank Marino.
Frank is calling me back.
I quietly slip outside to take the call. And I shut the door behind me.