Erika
Just as Hannah and Liam are finishing up their breakfast, the back door slams shut. Itโs Jason, back from his jog.
About a year ago, I purchased a scale for our master bathroom. The first time my husband stepped on it, he was horrified. โDid I really get that fat, Erika?โ he asked me about twenty times over the next several days. Followed by, โHow could you let me get that fat?โ By the end of the week, he made a solemn oath that he was going to get back in shape. He was going to eat right and exercise and get back to the weight he was when we got married. (To be fair, he was at least ten pounds overweight when we got married.)
At the time I laughed. But then he actually did it. He jogs every morning now. He doesnโt buy giant jugs of M&Ms. He switched from regular Coca-Cola to diet. (Or Coke Zero, which he says tastes much better than diet, although I am skeptical.) I donโt know much about what the numbers should be on the scale, but itโs obvious that at age forty-five, Jason is in the best shape of his life. I never noticed that he had been getting a gut until it vanished. And recently, when we got together with some other couples, another wife made a comment about my husband being โhot.โ I was oddly proud. Although it made me feel like I need to start taking kickboxing or Zumba or something to firm up some of those soft, saggy areas on my middle-aged body.
โErika!โ Jason limps over to the stove to join me, his T-shirt damp with sweat. His knee has been acting up for the last few weeks, but heโs trying to push through it. โAre you making eggs? Iโm starving.โ
I crack an egg into the sizzling pan. โYou got it.โ
He leans in to kiss me on the neck, which is nice, despite how sweaty he is. โEgg-cellent.โ
Hannah groans. โOh my God, Dad. Please.โ
โWhatโs wrong?โ Jason blinks at her. โIโm just egg-cited about your momโs cooking.โ
Liam laughs. Weโre all used to Jasonโs puns. The general rule is that theyโre always terrible, but sometimes theyโre so terrible that itโs funny.
โPlease stop, Dad.โ Hannah shakes her head at him. โYouโre being so cringe-y right now.โ
Cringe-y is the word Hannah frequently uses to describe basically everything that Jason or I do. I hate that it bothers me on some level, although Jason seems to find amusing. His reasoning is that he was never cool, so why would it bother him that his teenage daughter doesnโt think heโs cool?
โDonโt you have to get ready for school, Hannah?โ Jason says. โDonโt you have an egg-xam today?โ
Even I laugh this time, although itโs more because of the look on Hannahโs face.
Hannah dashes upstairs to get dressed and hopefully brush her hair so I donโt get accused of child neglect, while Liam wanders into the living room because he gets a sense of when we want privacy. I continue to stir Jasonโs eggs. Low and slow.
โYou know Iโve been eating your eggs for twenty years?โ Jason muses as he runs a hand along the back of my neck. โTwenty years of Erikaโs eggs.โ
โArenโt you sick of them?โ I say it as a joke, but thereโs a tiny part of me thatโs serious. After all, Jason spent the last year getting in great shape. Heโs gotten a lot hotter. All he needs is a shiny new car and contacts to replace his wire rimmed glasses, and heโll be in full on middle-age crisis mode.
โHell no.โ He pulls me to him and presses his lips against mine, which totally interrupts the egg cooking process, but I donโt mind. He hasnโt shaved yet and his chin tickles mine. โI hope I get to eat your eggs for another twenty years.โ
โGag!โ Hannah coming down the stairs interrupts whatย hadย been a very nice little moment between me and Jason. Sheโs dressed in blue jeans and an oversized T-shirt with her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. Sheโs probably going for stylishly messy, but itโs just messy. โYou two need to get a room.โ
โUm, this isย ourย house.โ Jason raises his eyebrows at her. โIf you want to start paying rent, then you can tell me when Iโm allowed to kiss my sexy
wife.โ
Hannah just rolls her eyes.
โAll right, Hannah,โ I say. โYouโve got to get a move on. The school bus is going to be at the corner inโฆโ I look down at my watch. One minute ago. โDamn it.โ
โOh no. I guess you have to drive us.โ โGosh, funny how that worked outโฆโ
Hannah hates the school bus with a passion. From the moment she wakes up every weekday, sheโs plotting a way for me to drive her to school. Weโve already agreed that when Liam gets his license, he can drive the two of them to school every morning. Of course, heโll be in college in less than two years. And the thought of Hannah being behind the wheel is nothing short of terrifying.
I finish cooking Jasonโs eggs and reluctantly pile Hannah and Liam into my green Toyota 4Runner. I never thought Iโd be the sort of mom who drove an SUV, especially one so freaking big. I held onto my little Honda Civic even after we had Liam. But then Jason pointed out how hard it was going to be to strap two car seats into the backseat of the Civic, and I knew it was time to upgrade. So we got the SUV. I know this sounds melodramatic, but the first time I saw it parked in my garage, I almost burst into tears. But now Iโm used to it. It makes me feel safe, which is important when youโve got your kids in the car. Thatโs why when Jason took Liam out for a driving lesson last week, he used the 4Runner.
Hannah has called shotgun, which is unfortunate, because it means that sheโs going to be controlling the music in the car. Sheโs very much partial to music from young men who donโt look like theyโre capable of growing facial hair yet.
โCan weย pleaseย listen to something different?โ Liam complains about two minutes into the drive. I have to agree. โAnythingย else?โ
โYou know,โ Hannah says, โJustin Bieber is an incredibly talented singer.โ
โOh, is he?โ
โYes, he is!โ She adjusts her messy ponytail. โHe has a phenomenal vocal range.โ
Liam smirks. โSure. Thatโs what you like about him. His vocal range.โ
โSo I think heโs cute. So what? Itโs not like youโre interested inย Olivia
for her intelligence.โ
Olivia? Who isย Olivia? I glance in the rearview mirror just in time to see Liamโs entire face turn red. He has become incredibly skilled at masking his reactions to things, but he couldnโt hide it this time. But when I look away for a moment and check the mirror again, heโs regained his composure.
The car skids to a halt at a red light. โWho is Olivia?โ I say as casually as I can manage.
Liam looks out the window. โNobody. Just a girl.โ
But thank God Hannah is in the car with us. โJust a girl?โ She snorts. โLiam is totally in love with her.โ
He laughs. โNo, Iโm not.โ
โOh my God, youย soย are. Donโt even deny it.โ Hannah gives me a look, like Iโm her new confidante. โYou should see the way he looks at her. Heโsย totallyย into her.โ
โWhatever.โ
I glance in the rearview mirror one more time to look at my son. Liam is the most composed sixteen-year-old kid Iโve ever known. Thatโs why heโs so good at debate, in addition to his natural intelligence and his diligent preparation. Heย neverย loses his cool. He never lets anyone know what heโs thinking. But Iโve known him long enough that I can usually tell. Usually.
Iโm really glad Iโm going to this debate after school. I wanted to see Liam perform. That was the reason I told him I wanted to come. And I meant it. But now Iโve got a new, more important reason for going.
Iโve got to figure out who Olivia is.
And Iโve got to keep something terrible from happening to her