24
NOW
MEGAN
W hen I finish telling Josie the cleaned up version of how we met, she makes an exclamation of
sheer disgust. “I can’t believe you hid all this from me!”
“You didn’t ask!” I protest back, and she scowls so darkly at me that for a moment I think we’re going to have a pregnant lady brawl right here in her tiny hut. “Seriously, it didn’t occur to me to be all ‘Hey, Jos, back when Cashol and I first got together, I was hella clingy and a real nutcase because I felt like I didn’t belong.’” I shrug. “What did you want me to say?”
“You could have told me, Meggers! I thought we were best friends!” Her petite face screws up and she looks like she can’t decide if she wants to punch me or cry. “I had no idea and now I feel like the worst friend ever. You guys were always so kissy-kissy every time I saw you that I thought everything was perfect.”
“Well, sure. I wanted everyone to think we were perfect,” I remind her. “That was part of the stress of it all.
Besides, you were so busy hating Haeden’s guts that you probably wouldn’t have noticed anyhow. Remember how long it took for us to realize Aehako and Kira were a thing?”
She chuckles. “All right, I guess that’s fair. I—” Her breath hisses between her teeth and I swear her belly ripples. Her hand goes to the front of her massive stomach and she shifts on her pillow, wincing.
“Are you in labor?” I ask, getting to my feet. “Is the baby coming? Should I go have someone fetch Haeden?”
Her grimace turns to a rueful smile and she rubs the small of her back again. “It’s been coming for days and days now but no baby yet. Just loads of contractions, spaced too far apart for anything to happen.” Josie tilts her ungainly body, then raises her arms. “Help me get up?”
I help haul her to her feet and she begins to waddle back and forth, pacing, her hands at the small of her back as if it can somehow support the enormous belly she’s sporting. She gives me a game smile and rubs her stomach, and even though she’s uncomfortable right now, I know Josie loves this. She wants a huge family and she’s so in love with Haeden that she still gets starry-eyed whenever he walks into her sights. It’s really cute. “Kemli told me that one of her babies was like this,” Josie offers as she paces around the room slowly. “That she had a week of nothing but cramps and then boom, the baby shot out in like five minutes.”
“Well, that sounds awful.” I don’t mind being pregnant, but I’m not remembering labor too fondly. I rub my own, much smaller belly, and the baby underneath flutters as if to reassure me. “A week of labor? No thanks.”
Josie huffs another laugh. “Oh please. You’d change places with me right now if it meant holding your baby that much faster.”
We exchange a look, and I have to admit she’s right. “Point taken. So…since this one is almost here, what does it feel like to you now? Boy or girl?” Josie and I have talked about babies constantly in the last few months…okay, last few turns of the seasons. It’s hard not to be baby obsessed when you have a little one, or when you resonate again. Josie gets it, and I’m glad we’re friends and live next to each other so we can talk babies all we want.
I do know that one thing she hasn’t done is ask the healer what the baby is. Sometimes Maylak can tell, and sometimes she can’t. Josie hasn’t asked, and I haven’t either. It’s nice to have an exciting surprise to look forward to, and I know Josie feels the same. Mine has felt like a girl all this time. I carry her slightly different in my belly, I crave different foods than when I was pregnant with Holvek, and I just…feel like it’s a girl. Josie’s carried both a boy and a girl, so I’m always surprised that she can’t tell with this one. Some weeks she’s positive it’s a girl, and then sometimes she’s utterly certain that it’s a boy.
Josie rubs her belly as she waddles around the hearth, considering. “This week I feel like it’s a boy. I was craving hraku seeds earlier today, and I really wanted those when I was pregnant with Joden, remember?”
“Um, hraku seeds are delicious. When are we not craving them?” I give her a strange look. “You know that doesn’t mean anything.”
She shrugs. “I know. You’re still positive yours is a girl, huh?”
“Pretty sure.” It feels weird to sit by the fire while Josie paces around me. “You want me to get you anything? Some tea? A snack? The healer?”
“Naaah.” Josie just waddles a bit more, lost in thought. “What was the first baby you were pregnant with?
The one you lost? A boy or a girl?”
My throat gets tight for a moment, and I shrug. “It was too early to tell. I was supposed to go back to the doctor in a few days to have a blood test, but I never made it.” I shrug. “I like to think it was a girl, though.”
“Did you have a name picked out for that girl? Maybe you can re-use it. I know you guys haven’t been able to decide on a name. Maybe honor her with that one.”
I know Josie means well, but the thought makes me hurt. I lost my baby. It was taken from me. Giving her name to another baby feels…cruel. I want her to keep her name as hers and hers alone, because that way, I’ll never forget her.
It would feel wrong to re-use the name Aurora. So I’ll come up with a new one. “I’ll let Cashol keep trying to come up with a name. Maybe he’ll hit on a good one.”
Josie makes a face. “And maybe dirtbeaks fly out of my ass. You know he’s terrible at it.”
We both laugh, because he really, really is. I know he’s terrible on purpose, but still.
She puts a hand to her forehead, and she looks really tired for a moment. “I’ve had a hell of a time thinking of a name for this one myself. We’re struggling to find the right name combination.”
“Jasen?” I suggest. I love the name, but it doesn’t work for me and Cashol. “For a boy?”
Josie beams. “I love that, but it sounds awfully close to Joden and Joha. They’re too similar as it is. I’ve taken to calling the baby Jojo sometimes and they both answer. It makes Haeden crazy.” She smiles fondly. “I can’t imagine another J-name in the mix.”
“It only matters what you like,” I point out. “Everyone else in the tribe can just deal with it. If you like Jasen, go with Jasen. All the sa-khui sound far too similar anyhow. Another J name would totally be on brand.”
“Another J name might drive my poor mate up the wall. We need something different, I just don’t know what.” She winces, rubs the underside of her belly, and keeps walking. “You should probably be heading home soon, shouldn’t you? I’ve kept you all morning.”
“I’m good,” I promise her. “Cashol went hunting with Holvek. If you don’t mind the company, I’m happy to stay.”
She gives me a wide smile of gratitude. “I’d love the company. It helps me think about things other than this.” Josie gestures at her bulk.
So we settle in and drink more tea, and as we do, I get out bits of leather and write down letters on each leather fragment, using a bit of coal to mark them. I spell out her name and an approximation of Haeden’s name—since the sa-khui have no written language—and we work on piecing together names. It quickly turns silly, of course, once I scatter the letters and come up with the grand name of “Shoes.” When “Hoes” comes up next, we both break into fits of giggles.
“Stop, stop,” Josie breathes, clutching her stomach. “I’m going to pee all over myself laughing.”
“I already did,” I joke. “Can you imagine calling your kid Hoe? Everyone would just think it’s another sa-khui name! ‘Come sit with the tribe, Hoe. Go see your father, Hoe.’”
“Oh my god I caaaan’t,” Josie wail-giggles, and races for the bathroom.
Chortling, I swipe at the laughter-tears pouring from my eyes and mix the letters again and again, looking for the right combination. When Josie returns, I point out the newest combination. “What about Shae?” I pronounce it like “Shy” because of Haeden’s name.
Josie’s eyes widen. “Too close to Kae, but I do like Shae with the long A sound.” She bites her lip. “I could even spell it as Shay…I mean, spelling doesn’t matter when the sa-khui don’t have a written language. You think anyone would give me shit for going off-brand?”
“It’s your baby,” I scold her. “You go off-brand as much as you like. Look at Anna and Elsa.”
“I do like Shae,” she says dreamily. “Or Shaena. That’s pretty.”
I do, too. “Talk to your mate, see what he thinks. I bet he likes it better than Zalah.”
Josie smirks. “He’d like Hoe better than he’d like Zalah.”
That sets us both into fits of giggles again.
“Mama!” a voice cries from outside, and both Josie and I perk up. Doesn’t matter if it’s your kid or not, the moment you hear the word “mama,” your senses go on alert. In this case though, it really is my kid. Holvek’s voice carries over the roofs. “Mama! Come and see what we’ve got!”
Josie and I exchange a look.
“Uh oh,” Josie says, her mouth quirking. “That’s not a good sign, Mama.”
I fight back a groan. “No, it’s not. Why do I have a feeling I’m going to be shown the biggest, ugliest dirtbeak ever?”
Josie laughs again, and her laughter cuts off. She sucks in a breath. “I think my water just broke. Might be time to find Haeden after all.”
I squeeze her hand. “You sit down. I’ll have Cashol go get him. Do you want the healer, too?”
“Not yet. I’m good for now, I think.” She smiles up at me as she sits on her cushioned seat by the fire. “But Haeden is gonna want to see our daughter born.”
“Say no more.” I touch her shoulder, then move for the door. The moment I step outside, I see my mate, grinning with a mischievous look that tells me he’s up to no good, and our son in front of him, an enormous grin just like his father’s on his face, his arms filled with the longest-legged dvisti foal I’ve ever seen.
Ah, shit.
