18
MEGAN
I wake up with my nose pressed against Casholโs warm, broad chest, and my feet tucked between
his thighs, his tail locked around one ankle. Iโm cramped and his weight is resting on one of my
hands, but I still feel more refreshed after sleeping next to him than I have in weeks. I sit up slowly, uncurling myself from our heap of furs and trying not to wake him up. Itโs early, judging by the sounds in the main cave, and that means I can get a jump start on the day. I need more leather cords for my belts, so that means cutting leather strips and tying them together, and that means digging through storage andโ
Cashol makes a soft sound and drags me back into bed next to him. โCome back.โ
โI should get up,โ I protest, smiling as he wraps his big body around me, trapping me against his chest.
Heโs enormous, this man, and he makes me feel positively puny next to him.
โBut why?โ He holds me against him and I wish he would kiss my neck, or rub that morning wood heโs sporting against my backside, but he doesnโt. He just cuddles me.
โBecause thereโs a lot to get done.โ My mind is on fire with belts, really. Cashol brought a pack with him yesterday, but he mostly used it like I would a purseโit held knives, and cords, and he constantly pulled it out looking for items. I think I can make him a belt and sew small pouches on it to organize his things, and perhaps another belt to cross over his shoulder. They would need additional loops for things like rope, but I bet I can make it work and make it easier to access.
And Iโll get startedโฆjust as soon as Cashol lets me go.
He only snuggles me closer to his chest.
โThe fireโs out,โ I cajole. โDonโt you want me to practice my fire-making skills?โ
He groans and opens one eye to squint at me. โWhy did I mate to a female who is up first thing in the morning?โ
โYouโre just lucky,โ I tease, prying his tail off my ankle. โAnd you know Iโm right.โ
Cashol sits up as I get out of bed and head for the caveโs version of a bathroom. I wash up afterward, shivering at the cold water, and then sit down by the fire to make it myself. Normally we stir the coals, leaving a large chunk of fuel burning in the center so it wonโt be completely dead by morning, or I grab a coal from the main fire and transport it to my hearth using a hollowed out animal horn. Today, though, I want to learn. Cashol gets dressed, yawning as he sits beside me, and then walks me through how to make a fire. I use the bow he hands me, but try as I might, I canโt get enough power going to produce a spark.
โGive it time,โ he tells me as he sees my frustration. โNo one learns in a day.โ He presses a kiss to the top of my head. โI must go and check my trap lines, but I will return quickly and then we will spend the rest of the
day together, yes?โ
โIf you want to.โ
โOh, I want to.โ He grins at me. โWe are going to have a day of laziness.โ
Yeah, sure.
T๎ ๎๎ ๎๎๎๎๎๎๎ , C๎๎๎๎๎ ๎ ๎๎๎๎๎ ๎๎๎๎๎๎ ๎ ๎ ๎ ๎๎๎๎๎. I๎โ๎ ๎๎๎ ๎๎ ๎ ๎ ๎๎๎ ๎ ๎๎ ๎๎ ๎๎๎๎๎ meal to be prepped when he strolls back in with several fat carcasses and hands them off to the elders to go in the dayโs stew.
โYouโre back,โ I say with surprise as he comes over to my side. Iโm sitting not too far away from the main fire, only half-listening in on the conversation as Kemli and Sevvah discuss the best way to dry a certain type of needle-leaf. I have the pieces for Casholโs new belt spread out in front of me, and I pause in my work when he presses a happy kiss atop my head. โWhy are you back so fast?โ
โIt is because he has a pretty mate to return to,โ Kemli teases us, turning to give Cashol a knowing look. โIt makes his feet speed over the snow.โ
Cashol just leans in close and whispers in my ear. โI move faster by myself.โ
โBecause you didnโt have to drag me along?โ I feel guilty that I made the effort so much harder for him yesterday, and then made it even worse by crying.
He shakes his head, his hair tickling my face as he leans over me. โBecause I ran most of the way.โ
I snort-giggle with amusement as he gives me a cheeky look.
Cashol plucks the leather strips out of my hands and ignores the protest I make. โYou have been working too hard. For the rest of the afternoon, it shall be a day of laziness.โ
โOh, I donโt knowโฆโ I glance over at the women, wondering if weโre going to be judged. Sevvah just rolls her eyes at Cashol and goes back to talking to Kemli. Neither one looks all that concerned with the thought of
me having a โday of laziness.โ โAre you sure?โ
โI am sure,โ Cashol says, gathering up the leather strips and loops and tossing them into a pile. โI am going to relax, and you are going to keep me company.โ He gestures at the bathing pool in the center of the cavern.
โAnd we are going to start in there.โ
โMmmhmm.โ As he grabs the pile of leather pieces, several of them drop to the ground. I scoop them up and follow after him as he heads to our cave. โIt sounds to me like someoneโs making excuses so Iโll wash his
back for him.โ
โAnd my front,โ he adds cheerfully.
I laugh. โCanโt do just one side, I guess. Iโd hate for your dirt to be uneven.โ
โIt is true. I am very, very dirty.โ Cashol gives me an arch look that makes me burst into a fit of giggles. Itโs clear heโs just talking about general dirt, and Iโm taking it to a filthy, sexual place, but itโs so damn funny to hear. He just makes me laugh, and I love it. Being around him makes my heart feel so much lighter, and I already feel better. I spare one last glance at the elders to see if theyโre judging us, but no one seems to have noticed. Maybe they really donโt care. Maybe I can just relax and not worry about fitting in.
We drop our things off back to our cave, and Iโm a little surprised when Cashol immediately strips and saunters out to the bathing pool, buck-ass naked. He is clearly not shy. I undress but keep a fur wrapped around me as I head toward the bathing pool, and drop it at the side. Iโm not entirely used to the nudity. Not quite yet.
Nora and Josie are already bathing, and I smile awkwardly at them as my big, naked mate hops into the pool and accidentally splashes them. โHey, watch it,โ Nora says. โIโm trying not to get my hair wet.โ Her highlights are growing out, revealing ash-brown roots, and sheโs got a carved stick poked through a bun of hair to keep it dry. โSo howโs the newlyweds?โ
โGreat,โ I say, and poke Cashol in the side before he can contradict me. I beam at both of them. โWhereโs Dagesh today?โ
Nora gives a great, gusty sigh and sinks lower into the water. โHunting with Harrec and Warrek. He wonโt be back for a week or so. Theyโre replenishing one of the caches near the Ancestorsโ Cave.โ She makes a moue of displeasure. โI miss him already.โ
Cashol makes an unhappy sound. โThey left already? And took Warrek with them?โ
โYeah, Dagesh figured that you wouldnโt be up for leaving your mate for so long just yet.โ She shrugs. โItโs no big deal. I think Warrek was thrilled to be invited.โ
โAnd Farliโs thrilled that she doesnโt have to have lessons while heโs gone.โ Josie grins. โSheโs supposed to join us but she went to the storage cave for more soap-berries and hasnโt come back yet.โ
I glance over at Cashol, and heโs got a troubled look on his face. Itโs clear that not going on the hunt is bothering him, and I fight down a surge of panic. Iโm glad he didnโt go. The thought of him leaving my side for that long makes me utterly panicky. I can deal with a few hours, but a week? Iโm not ready. Before Cashol can speak up, I grab him by the shoulders and push down, trying to dunk him in the deep pool. He goes under, the water bubbling with his breath, and Josie erupts into a fit of laughter.
A moment later, his tail locks around my foot, and before I can celebrate my โwin,โ Iโm pulled under, too.
Sputtering, I find my way back to the surface and Cashol pulls me into his arms, nipping at my jaw. โThat was naughty of you.โ
I grab his chin and slide my arm around his shoulders, floating next to him in the water. โI donโt want you volunteering to go on a long hunt,โ I whisper, keeping my voice low enough so the others donโt hear. โYou have to stay with me.โ
He nods, sensing my unease. โI will not leave your side, do not worry.โ
Relieved, I sink into his arms. โMaybe you donโt dunk me, either.โ
โMaybe you do not dunk me,โ he counters.
โOh my god, enough with the flirting,โ Nora says, splashing a small wave over at us. โYouโre making me miss my man.โ
โSorry.โ The waterโs like a hot tub, and I can blame my blush on that, I hope. I glance over at Josie and sheโs smiling at us, but thereโs a wistful expression on her face. I know how it feels to want this so badly.
Thereโs not many left that havenโt resonated, and itโs hard to not feel like a reject when thereโs so many single guys and your khui doesnโt speak up. I make a mental note to try and spend some time with my friend tomorrow, so she feels included.
โLook what I found!โ Farli comes racing out of one of the storage caves, a basketball-sized not-potato in her skinny arms. Sheโs completely naked, too, her long hair pulled back into twin braids that run alongside her curving horns. โLook!โ
โUh, weโre not washing with that, baby girl,โ Nora comments. โThatโs a vegetable.โ
โNot that, ding-dong,โ Josie says, and points. โItโs got a big bite taken out of it.โ
Farli nods at Josie, turning the root so we can all see. Sure enough, the white meat of the not-potato root is exposed, and it looks as if a big chunk was gnawed out of it.
โYuck.โ Nora wrinkles her nose.
โDid someone take a bite and put it back?โ Farli asks, juggling it in her arms.
I laugh at the suggestion. โOh sure.โ
The girl turns wide eyes to me. โReally?โ
โOh yeah, it was me. I tasted that one and decided it was no good, and put it back. You have to taste all of the roots to decide which ones are the best,โ I tease. โI thought everyone knew that.โ
Nora shakes her head at me, laughing, as Farliโs eyes grow even wider.
Josie moves to the lip of the pool, gesturing at Farli. โYou should probably throw that out. No oneโs going to
want to eat it.โ
Farli looks over at me uncertainly.
โIโm teasing,โ I say, feeling a little bad at the joke. โI donโt even like not-potato when itโs raw.โ
โDid you find berries?โ Josie asks Farli.
โI did!โ She dumps the chewed-on root by the pool and then races back to the caves again. โBe right back!โ
Josie sighs, grinning. โSheโs just the cutest kid.โ
โBah. You are both close to the same age,โ Cashol says, pulling me into his lap and wrapping his arms around my waist.
โWe are not!โ Josie says, outraged. She splashes toward us. โAt least Iโm not the one eating all the damn food in storage.โ
โMy mate does have an uncontrollable appetite,โ Cashol says solemnly. โI must hunt and hunt to feed her belly.โ
โOh, are we talking about food?โ Nora teases, the minx. โI thought we were going on about different insatiable appetites.โ
Josie immediately puts her fingers in her ears. โLa la la, I canโt hear you.โ
Nora cackles with delight, and I sink lower into the water, trying to hide my laughter. Noraโs fun. She makes no bones about who she is. She absolutely hated being here until she took one look at Dagesh, and then she decided she loved this place. Every knows the two of them are very enthusiastic and noisy in the furs.
Everyone. And Nora doesnโt care. Sheโs happy and sheโs in love, and she doesnโt give a fig what anyone else thinks.
God, I wish I was like her. I wish I didnโt have this gnawing fear in my belly that Iโm not going to be enough for any of these people.
Farli returns with a large soap-berry pouch and sets it down on the ledge between Nora and Josie, and then gets into the water next to them. Cashol holds onto me, dragging me through the water over to the
berries and grabs a handful.
โWhat are you doing?โ I ask him.
โI am going to wash my mate,โ he says proudly.
โOh my god, thatโs so cute,โ Josie squeals. โIโm so happy for you guys.โ She says it to both of us, but she looks at me.
If only she knew how fucked up we are. But then againโฆare we? Because Casholโs been plenty flirty since we had that talk in the hunter cave yesterday. He went down on me and made me come, and wanted nothing in return except to hold me. I slept so good last night, snuggled in his arms. And today heโs back from hunting early so he can lounge in the pool with me and wash my hair. I have to admit, Iโm eating up all the attention Iโm being showered with. I know Iโm a needy sort in a relationship, but Iโve never had anyone feed my neediness.
Iโve never had anyone be as into me as I am to them.
I donโt want to get my hopes up with Cashol.
But my new mate cheerfully smashes berries onto my โflat, hornless headโ and then leans in to nip at my
ear, and I think about what he said.
When you are ready, I will be here.
No oneโs ever been there for me beforeโฆbut Iโm starting to believe him.
