She introduced me as her friend. Her friend.
Even eight hours later, I couldn’t stop thinking about it as I waited for Briana and her family at my parents’ house.
Briana had wanted to pick up her mom and her brother and meet me here. We hadn’t been able to do lunch together like we planned, so I didn’t get a chance to ask about Levi—I winced when I thought of him. Levi. What kind of a name was that? It sounded like a garden tool.
They’d seemed comfortable with each other. She’d taken way too long to stitch him up. I’d stared at the door of room three until I actually did have to go drain that abscess, and when I was done, she was still in there.
What had they been talking about?
I was chewing on my thumbnail. My anxiety was humming again. It had been quiet for weeks and now it was back. I couldn’t tell if it was the dinner tonight or Levi.
Her friend.
I was probably overthinking this. I was sure I was overthinking it. Maybe she introduced her boyfriend as a friend to everyone? I mean a boyfriend is a type of friend. Right? It wasn’t technically wrong.
But the problem was that I wasn’t her boyfriend. Not really. And maybe she’d wanted him to know that.
I paced in the foyer, waiting for her to pull into the driveway so I could meet her at the door. It would only be my parents, Jane, and Grandpa today.
Everyone else had to work. I was grateful for the smaller crowd because I was already feeling drained. By Levi.
When Briana and her family finally pulled up outside, they were ten minutes late. As they came up the walkway, I took a deep breath and opened the door with my best smile. “Hey, there you are.”
“Sorry, we had a little detour,” Briana said, coming in and kissing me on the cheek. My heart skipped. I didn’t normally get kisses of any kind.
At least she wanted her mom and brother to know I wasn’t a friend.
She stepped aside to introduce me to her mom. “This is my mom, Rosa.” “Hi—”
The woman threw herself at me. “Our hero!” she said with a faint accent. “We prayed for you, and God brought you to us. Thank you.”
While she hugged me, Briana shrugged at me over her shoulder with a smile.
“You’re welcome,” I croaked.
Rosa peeled herself off me and held me by the arms. “I told Briana, that’s a special man you have. You take care of him. You give him all the good sex—”
I blanched.
“MOM!” Briana looked horrified.
Rosa looked nonplussed. “What? You’re living with him, it’s not like I don’t know.”
Well, Rosa was going to love Joy.
Benny came up behind his sister, who was still shaking her head. I nodded at him. “Nice to see you again.”
“Yeah,” he said awkwardly. “Thanks. For the thing.” “You’re welcome.”
Briana slipped an arm around my waist and hugged me from the side, and I looked down at her and got lost for a moment the way I always did when I got hugs from her.
“You smell good,” she said, smiling up at me.
I wished I could lean down and kiss her. That’s what a real boyfriend would do here. Just a quick peck and a smile.
Instead I said, “You too.”
Instead. Everything I wanted to do with her, I did something else instead.
Grandpa came blazing down the hall at warp speed and snapped me out of it. He rolled so close to Briana she had to jump out of the way.
“You got my cigarettes?” He glared at her.
“No, I still do not have your cigarettes,” Briana said, crossing her arms. “Were you supposed to bring them?” Rosa asked.
Briana shook her head. “He’s not allowed to have them, Mom.” “The hell I’m not!” he bellowed. “This place is a prison!”
“Grandpa…” I said.
Then Mom and Dad came down the hall with Jane to save me. I introduced my parents. Benny introduced himself to my sister as Ben, for some reason. Then my parents swept Rosa and Benny off for a tour of the house with Grandpa and Jane, and Briana and I were alone for a moment.
She slumped the second they were around the corner.
“I’m sorry about that,” I said. “I locked up Jafar, but there’s nothing I can do about Grandpa.”
She snorted.
“Are you okay?” I asked. “You were late.”
“Yeah, check out what I did on the way over. I saw a dead possum, so I stopped to get it for your dad—and it wasn’t dead.”
I barked out a laugh.
“When I picked it up, it hissed at me and I fell backward. My mom thinks I’ve officially lost it. I landed in a bush and she had to pick leaves out of my hair. I bumped my elbow.” She lifted it up and frowned at it.
I grinned. “Want me to look at it?” She rubbed it. “No, it’s fine.”
I gave her an amused look. “You don’t have to bring my dad dead things.”
“But I want to be his favorite,” she whined.
I chuckled. And then I just gazed at her. I’d missed her, even in just the hour since I’d seen her at work.
It didn’t feel normal for us to be apart now. And when we were together, I still wasn’t getting as much of her as I wanted.
I was always starved when it came to her. I lived off crumbs, never getting full. Even now, standing in this hallway in a place where we could touch, I couldn’t, because nobody was standing right here to see it. All of it, everything I got, was performative, and the deprivation was getting to me a little more every day. Even to just tell her that I loved her would be something. It seemed a waste to love her as much as I did without her ever knowing it. To be unaware that her very existence was my reason for smiling, for being happy to wake up in the morning.
Her phone chirped. She dug in her purse and looked at it. Then she turned off the sound and put it away.
“Alexis?” I asked.
“No.” She didn’t elaborate.
Benny and her mom were here. I was here. If it wasn’t Alexis, who was it? But then I knew.
I cleared my throat. “So, I was thinking, it’s probably best if we tell everyone we’re dating. Just in case.”
She tilted her head. “Huh?”
“You introduced me to Levi as your friend.” She wrinkled her forehead. “Did I?”
“Yeah. It was just something I noticed. I just think we should be consistent, you know?”
“Sorry. Freudian slip,” she said. “Hey, what do you think about me telling him the truth?” she said, her voice low.
My pulse quickened. “Why would you do that?”
“He doesn’t talk to literally anyone we know. I don’t like lying if I don’t have to.”
She wanted to tell him she was single. Why did she want to tell him she was single? I felt panic rising in me like acid. I didn’t even know what to say.
She changed the subject and nodded in the direction my family had gone. “We should go find them, before my mom thinks I’ve abandoned her.” She looked back up at me. “Also, I’m going to have to serve you your food tonight, or my mom is going to think I’m mistreating you.”
I gave her a look. “But it’s my parents’ house…”
“Just let it happen, Jacob. I’m to treat you like the prince you are. My mom already left flowers to the Virgin Mary to thank her for sending you. You’ve been elevated to saint status.”
Well, at least her mom was pulling for me. I’d take what I could get.
