I stretched out my quad, pulling my foot up to my butt and holding it there for a minute. I could see Charlotte and Calvin out by the pond, collecting eggs and putting them into containers. She had said she needed Calvin’s help because she was in a hurry, but it seemed she was now taking her sweet time. Charlotte tossed her head of long brown hair back in laughter. I wondered what it was they were talking about. She grazed up against him each time she passed by. Her hand ru ed his hair and lightly patted him on the arm. Calvin said they were only friends, but I think something must have happened between them. at girl was clearly in love, and I knew love made you do crazy things.
Calvin caught my gaze, and he waved. A huge smile spread across his face. Charlotte glanced in my direction, ipped her hair over her shoulder, and went back to collecting eggs. I gave a little wave back, nestled my AirPods in my ear, and jogged across the gravel driveway toward the road. Pressing play on a downloaded Spotify playlist called Vacay Vibes, the song “Life’s for the Living” by Passenger started up.
As my feet pounded against the pavement, I thought of Calvin with each
step. e way his white T-shirt stretched over his large biceps and broad shoulders like it was vacuum-sealed around him. e way he let his thumbs hang from the loops of his jeans. e way he shu ed his feet when he didn’t know what to say. e way his cheeks reddened when he looked at me . . .
Pound. Calvin’s dimples.
Pound. Calvin’s scar. Pound. Calvin’s smile.
My heart raced from more than just running. I belted the chorus just to get
my mind o of Calvin. Busying the brain ensured thoughts didn’t go astray. It kept them in check, corralled like a pasture of cattle.
When the song ended, my mind went back to Calvin. Pound. Calvin’s hands.
Pound. Calvin’s body. Pound. Calvin all over me.
I stopped in my tracks, nearly tumbling over. My breath was ragged as my lungs wanted more air than I could suck in. Staring up at the sky, I leaned back, cracking my spine. I was only here for another week. I had come here for one thing and one thing only: to nd the peace and satisfaction my everyday life failed to provide. at’s really why anyone packs up a suitcase and travels to a place they’ve never been. ey’re searching for something they can’t nd in their own world.
Calvin and I came from very di erent worlds. We had di erent goals, di erent needs, di erent wants. We didn’t see life the same way. For him, it was more precious because he’d lost so many people close to him. As a result, he didn’t take risks. He lived in the same house he grew up in. He knew the same people he had always known. And he had given up his own life for the wishes of his deceased parents. He couldn’t possibly be happy or content living the same day every day. I knew I wasn’t, hence why I was here. I wondered what it was Calvin did or desired that kept him sane, ful lled, and satis ed. Because it sure as hell wasn’t working on that ranch, doing the same damn thing every single day. e mundane is what drives people mad, and Calvin’s life was just that.
I took in my surroundings, appreciating them at the moment, knowing that appreciation wouldn’t last forever. By the end of my time here, the beauty I saw in this place would fade. Everything becomes dull eventually. We just get used
to it. e snow-capped mountains towered in the distance. One day they
wouldn’t look so big to me. e rolling green pasture was bright and inviting. One day I’d see it for what it truly was—nothing. And the black winding road I slithered in on seemed to go on forever with no end in sight. But I knew everything had an end.
