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Chapter no 10

Yellowface

AFTER THAT, I ASK EMILY TO DECLINE MOST EVENT INVITATIONSย on my behalf.

Iโ€™m done with schools, bookstores, and book clubs. Iโ€™m selling at the level where personal appearances arenโ€™t going to move the needle on sales, so I donโ€™t need to keep exposing myself as bait for further controversy. The only events I keep attending are awards ceremonies at literary conventions, because as much as I now want to hide from the public, Iโ€™d hate to give up the rush of validation fromย those.

Awards in this industry are very silly and arbitrary, less a marker of prestige or literary quality and more an indication that youโ€™ve won a popularity contest with a very small, skewed group of voters. Awards donโ€™t matterโ€”at least, I am told this constantly by the people who regularly win them. Athena made an annual point to explain all this on Twitter, always right after she was nominated for something big:ย Oh, of course Iโ€™m so honored, but remember, if you werenโ€™t a finalist, that doesnโ€™t mean your work doesnโ€™t matter! All of our stories are special in their own, important ways.

I do fully believe that awards are bullshit, but that doesnโ€™t make me want to win them any less.

Andย The Last Frontย is, simply put, awards bait. Itโ€™s brilliantly written

โ€”check. It attracts both commercial and โ€œupmarketโ€ readersโ€”check. But most important, it isย aboutย something; some timely or sensitive issue that the awards committees can point to and say,ย Look, we care about what is going on in the world, and since literature is a necessary reflection of our lived reality, this story is what weโ€™ve chosen to elevate.

Iโ€™m a bit nervous thatย The Last Frontย isย tooย commercially successful to win anything. Iโ€™m told that awards committees want to seem more tasteful than the proletariat, so thereโ€™s always a mega bestseller that doesnโ€™t make

the ballot in the category it should obviously win, and always a few finalists in every category that no oneโ€™s ever heard of. But I shouldnโ€™t have worried. The nominations trickle in one by one: Goodreads Choice Awards, check; the Indies Choice Book Awards, check. The Booker Prize and the Womenโ€™s Prize are long shots, so Iโ€™m not too disappointed when I donโ€™t make the short list for those. Besides, Iโ€™m nominated for so many regional awards that Iโ€™m swimming in attention regardless.

Adele Sparks-Sato is eating her heart out, texts Marnie when I share the Goodreads Choice Awards news.

From Jen:ย YES! Good on you. The best revenge is to thrive. Proud of you for handling all this with grace. #StayClassyStayWinning!

I reread my nomination emails several times a day, gloating at those

words:ย Dear Ms. Song, we are delighted to inform you . . .ย And I dance around my apartment, rehearsing an imaginary acceptance speech, attempting the same mixture of grace and youthful excitement Athena always exuded in hers: โ€œOh myย God, I really donโ€™t believe it . . . No, really, I didnโ€™t think I was going to win . . .โ€

The nominations bring about a flurry of good press. Iโ€™m featured on a lot of BuzzFeed lists. I get to do a profile with theย Yale Daily News. Winning the Goodreads Choice Award gives me a sizable sales bump, and I end up back on theย New York Timesย bestseller list for two weeks. I suppose the awards buzz gets the attention of people in Hollywood, too, because Brett calls me that week to let me know my film agent wants to set up a meeting between me and some people from Greenhouse Productions.

โ€œWhatโ€™s Greenhouse?โ€ I ask. โ€œAre they legit?โ€

โ€œTheyโ€™re a production company. Pretty standard; weโ€™ve done a few deals with them in the past.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ve never heard of them.โ€ I type the name into Google. Oh, no, theyโ€™re actually pretty impressiveโ€”their main staff are three producers who have a number of films I recognize under their belts, and notably, one producer-director, Jasmine Zhang, who was an Oscar finalist last year for a film about Chinese migrant workers in San Francisco. I wonder if sheโ€™s the source of the interest. โ€œOh, shoot, so theyโ€™re like actually a big player?โ€

โ€œYou wouldnโ€™t have heard the names of most independent production companies,โ€ Brett explains. โ€œThey largely operate behind the scenes. They package your book, find a screenwriter, attach some talent, etcetera, and then they pitch it to a studio. The studios put up the big money. But the

production companies will pay you up front to option it, and this is the strongest option interest weโ€™ve seen so far. Canโ€™t hurt to chat, right? Howโ€™s next Thursday?โ€

The Greenhouse Productions people happen to be in DC for a film festival that weekend, so we arrange to meet at a coffee shop in Georgetown. I arrive earlyโ€”I hate the fluster of shaking hands, then figuring out what to order, and then fumbling with my card at the registerโ€” but theyโ€™re already occupying a booth in the back when I show up. Thereโ€™s two of themโ€”Justin, one of the Greenhouse founders, and his assistant, Harvey. Theyโ€™re both blond, tan, fit, and possessed of dazzlingly white smiles. They look like they could be brothers, maybe cousins, though perhaps thatโ€™s because their hair is coiffed back in identical crests and they are wearing the same cut of V-neck Henley rolled up to the elbows. Jasmine Zhang does not appear to be present.

โ€œHey, Juniper!โ€ Justin stands up to hug me. โ€œWonderful to meet you.

Thanks for making time for us.โ€

โ€œOf course,โ€ I say, just as Harvey leans out for a hug as well. Itโ€™s awkward, reaching over the booth toward his outstretched arms, and I strain to meet him in the middle. He smells very clean. โ€œGeorgetown is super close.โ€

โ€œDo you come out here a lot?โ€ asks Justin.

Actually, no, because everything in Georgetown is so fucking expensive, and the students who overrun the neighborhood are loud, obnoxious, and way too rich. Iโ€™ve only been here a handful of times with Athena, who was obsessed with this margarita place on Wisconsin Ave. But I picked the venue, mostly because I hoped it would impress, so I canโ€™t act like I donโ€™t know the area. โ€œUm, yeah, all the time. El Centro is nice. Lots of good seafood places on the waterfront. And the macaron place on M, if you have some free time later.โ€

Justin beams like macarons are his favorite food in the world. โ€œWell, weโ€™ll have to try it out!โ€

โ€œDefinitely,โ€ says Harvey. โ€œRight after this.โ€

I know their puppy-dog act is meant to set me at ease, but instead Iโ€™m now stiff with nerves. Hollywood people mean literally none of what they say, Athena had once complained. Theyโ€™re so friendly and enthusiastic, and they tell you youโ€™re the most special snowflake they ever did see, and then they turn around and ghost you for weeks. I see now what she meant. I have

no idea how to gauge how genuine Justin and Harvey are, or how theyโ€™re evaluating my responses, and their blindingly cheerful front makes them so hard to read that itโ€™s sending my anxiety into overdrive.

A waitress comes by and asks for my order. Iโ€™m too rattled to peruse the menu, so I ask for the same thing Justin is sipping, which turns out to be an iced Vietnamese coffee called โ€œthe Miss Saigon.โ€

โ€œGreat choice,โ€ says Justin. โ€œItโ€™s very nice. Very strongโ€”and sweet, too, I think itโ€™s made with condensed milk?โ€

โ€œOh, um, yeah.โ€ I hand my menu back to the waitress. โ€œItโ€™s what I always get.โ€

โ€œSo!ย The Last Front.โ€ Justin slams both hands so hard against the table that I flinch. โ€œWhat aย book! Iโ€™m surprised no oneโ€™s snapped up the rights already!โ€

I donโ€™t know what to say to this. Does that mean he feels lucky weโ€™re having this meeting, or is he fishing for a reason why the rights havenโ€™t been more attractive? Should I pretend like thereโ€™s been other interest?

โ€œI guess Hollywood isnโ€™t too keen on taking a risk on films about Asian people,โ€ I say. Itโ€™s an arch comment, but I mean it, and Iโ€™ve heard the same complaint plenty of times from Athena. โ€œI would love to see this story adapted for the big screen, but I guess it would take a true ally to do it. Someone would really have to understand the story.โ€

โ€œWell, weย lovedย the novel,โ€ says Justin. โ€œItโ€™s so original. And so diverse, in a time when we desperately need diverse narratives.โ€

โ€œI love the mosaic storytelling style,โ€ says Harvey. โ€œIt reminds me of

Dunkirk.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s precisely likeย Dunkirk. One of my favorite films, actuallyโ€”I thought it was so brilliant how Nolan kept us guessing at how all the narrative threads would fit together at the end.โ€ Justin glances sideways at Harvey. โ€œActually, Chris would be a pretty fun pick for a director, wouldnโ€™t he?โ€

โ€œOh, Jesus.โ€ Justin nods emphatically. โ€œYeah, thatโ€™d be the dream.โ€ โ€œWhat about Jasmine Zhang?โ€ I ask. Iโ€™m a little surprised neither of

them has brought her up. Isnโ€™t she the most obvious choice to direct?

โ€œOh, I donโ€™t know if she has the bandwidth for this.โ€ Justin fiddles with his straw. โ€œSheโ€™s a little overwhelmed with work right now.โ€

โ€œSide effects of winning an Oscar,โ€ says Harvey. โ€œSheโ€™s booked up for the next decade.โ€

โ€œHa. Yeah. But donโ€™t worry, we have some really special talent in mind. Thereโ€™s a kid just out of USC, Danny Baker, just wowed everyone with a short film about war crimes in Cambodiaโ€”oh, and some girl at Tisch who put out a student documentary on accessing PRC historical archives last year, if itโ€™s important that you have an Asian female in charge.โ€

The waitress sets my Miss Saigon in front of me. I take a sip and wince; itโ€™s much sweeter than I expected.

โ€œWell, thatโ€™s very cool,โ€ I say, slightly flummoxed. Theyโ€™re talking like theyโ€™ve already decided to option the novel. Am I doing well, then? What else do I need to say to persuade them? โ€œSo what can I help you with?โ€

โ€œOh, weโ€™re just here to hear whateverโ€™s on your mind!โ€ Justin laces his fingers together and leans forward. โ€œWe care a lot about the authorโ€™s vision here at Greenhouse. Weโ€™re not here to mangle your work, or whitewash it or Hollywood-ify it, or whatever. Weโ€™re all about the storyโ€™s integrity, so we want your input at every stage.โ€

โ€œThink of it as creating a vision board.โ€ Harvey sits ready with a pen poised over a legal pad. โ€œWhat elements would you absolutely want to see in a movie version ofย The Last Front, Juniper?โ€

โ€œWell, um, I guess I hadnโ€™t thought much about that.โ€ Iโ€™ve just remembered why I never order coffee at work meetings. Caffeine goes straight to my bladder, and I have a sudden, vicious urge to pee. โ€œScreenwritingโ€™s not really my thing, so I donโ€™t know . . .โ€

โ€œWe could start with, like, your dream cast?โ€ Justin prompts. โ€œAny big stars you always had in mind while writing?โ€

โ€œIโ€”uh, I donโ€™t know, really.โ€ My face burns. I feel like Iโ€™m failing a test I didnโ€™t bother to study for, though in retrospect it feels obvious I should have put some thought into what I wanted from a film adaptation before I met with producers. โ€œI didnโ€™t have any actors when I was writing in mind, to be honest; Iโ€™m not super visual like that . . .โ€

โ€œWell, how about this Colonel Charles Robertson character?โ€ asks Harvey. โ€œThe British attachรฉ? We could invest in getting someone really major, like Benedict Cumberbatch, or Tom Hiddleston . . .โ€

I blink. โ€œBut heโ€™s not even a main character.โ€ Colonel Charles Robertson gets barely a passing mention in the first chapter.

โ€œWell, right,โ€ says Justin. โ€œBut maybe we could expand his role a bit, give him some more dramatic presenceโ€”โ€

โ€œI mean, I guess.โ€ I frown. โ€œIโ€™m not sure how that would workโ€”itโ€™d ruin the pacing of the first actโ€”but we could look into it . . .โ€

โ€œSee, the trick with big war epics is that you need someone really charismatic to ground it all,โ€ says Justin. โ€œYou donโ€™t get broad crossover appeal if military history is the only marketing point. But put in a British heartthrob, and then youโ€™ve got your women, your middle-aged moms, your teenage girls . . . Again, itโ€™s the Dunkirk principle. What the fuck is Dunkirk? Who knows? We went to see Tom Hardy.โ€

โ€œAnd Harry Styles,โ€ says Harvey.

โ€œRight! Exactly. What weโ€™re saying is, your film needs a Harry Styles.โ€

โ€œWhat about that little kid fromย Spider-Man?โ€ says Harvey. โ€œWhatโ€™s his name?โ€

Justin perks up. โ€œTom Holland?โ€

โ€œOh yeah. I would love to see him in a war movie. Logical next step, for a career like that.โ€ Harvey glances my way, like heโ€™s just remembered I exist. โ€œWhat do you think, June? You like Tom Holland?โ€

โ€œIโ€”yeah, I like Tom Holland.โ€ My bladder bulges. I squirm in my seat, trying to find a better equilibrium. โ€œThat would work, I guess, sure. I mean, Iโ€™m not sure who he would play, butโ€”โ€

โ€œThen for A Geng, we were thinking some Chinese talentโ€”a pop star, maybe,โ€ says Justin. โ€œThen that gets us the Chinese box office, which is hugeโ€”โ€

โ€œThe problem with Asian pop stars is that they have shit English, though,โ€ says Harvey. โ€œHerro.ย Production nightmare.โ€

โ€œHarvey!โ€ Justin laughs. โ€œYou canโ€™t say that.โ€ โ€œAh! You caught me! Donโ€™t tell Jasmine.โ€

โ€œBut that wouldnโ€™t be a problem,โ€ I cut in. โ€œThe laborers are supposed to have bad English.โ€

I must sound snarkier than I intended, because Justin quickly amends, โ€œI mean, we would never alter the story in a way you arenโ€™t comfortable with. Thatโ€™s not what weโ€™re trying to do here. We want to totally respect the projectโ€”โ€

I shake my head. โ€œNo, no, yeah, I donโ€™t feel disrespectedโ€”โ€

โ€œAnd weโ€™re just spitballing ideas to package things more attractively, and to, uh, broaden the audience . . .โ€

I sit back and lift my hands in surrender. โ€œLook. You guys are the Hollywood experts. Iโ€™m just the novelist. All of that sounds fine to me, and you have my blessing, or whatever, to package this however you think is appropriate.โ€

I do mean that. Iโ€™ve never wanted to have much control over my film adaptationsโ€”I have no training as a screenwriter, and besides, social media is always abuzz with gossip about this or that novelist who had a falling-out with the director. I donโ€™t want to be a creative diva. And maybe they have a point. Who wants to go to the theater and watch a bunch of people speaking in Chinese for two hours? I mean, wouldnโ€™t you go see a Chinese film instead? Weโ€™re talking about a blockbuster made with an American audience in mind. Accessibility matters.

โ€œThanks for understanding.โ€ Justin beams. โ€œWe talk to authors sometimes, and theyโ€”you know . . .โ€

โ€œTheyโ€™re very picky,โ€ says Harvey. โ€œThey want every scene in the movie to match the book, word for word.โ€

โ€œAnd they donโ€™t get that film is a totally different medium, and requires different storytelling skills,โ€ says Justin. โ€œItโ€™s a translation, really. And translation across mediums is inherently unfaithful to some extent. Roland Barthes. An act of translation is an act of betrayal.โ€

โ€œBelles infidรจles,โ€ says Harvey. โ€œBeautiful and unfaithful.โ€ โ€œYou get it, though,โ€ says Justin. โ€œWhich is awesome.โ€

And thatโ€™s the end of it. This is awesome. I am awesome. We are all so, so excited to make things work. I keep waiting for them to offer more substantive details. How much money is on the table? Whatโ€™s their timeline? Are they going to start reaching out to this Danny Baker kid, like, tomorrow? (Harvey made it sound like he would DM him right away.) But all theyโ€™re giving me are vagaries, and I get the sense that this is perhaps not the right context to press. So I sit back and let them buy me some overpriced strudel (named the โ€œInglourious Pastryโ€) and chat at me about how gorgeous the waterfront is. Justin handles the check, and both of them hug me tightly before we part ways.

I stroll until theyโ€™ve turned around the opposite corner, and then I dash back into the cafรฉ and pee for a full minute.

THAT WENT OKAY. I EMAIL BRETT A SUMMARY OF THE MEETING AS Iย stroll back

over the bridge to Rosslyn.ย I think they liked me, but it seems like theyโ€™re still feeling out

some things before thereโ€™s cash on the table. I donโ€™t think Jasmine Zhang is attached, which is weird?

Pretty standard as far as Hollywood meetings go, Brett responds.ย They were just getting a sense of you as a person. Hard offers donโ€™t come until later. Not sure whatโ€™s going on with Jasmine, though it does seem like the main interest is coming from Justin. Iโ€™ll keep you updated if thereโ€™s any news.

Iโ€™m impatient to hear more, but this is how things are. Publishing

crawls. Gatekeepers sit on manuscripts for months, and meetings happen behind closed doors while youโ€™re dying from anticipation on the outside. Publishing means no news for weeks, until youโ€™re standing in line at Starbucks or waiting for the bus, and your phone pings with the email that will change your life.

So I head down into the metro, put my Hollywood dreams on hold, and wait for Brett to inform me that Iโ€™m about to become a millionaire.

I try to temper my expectations. After all, the vast majority of options deals go nowhere. All that an option means is that the production company has exclusive rights to package the story into something a studio might want to buy. The vast majority of projects linger in development hell, and very few ever get green-lit by studio executives. I learn this over the next few hours as I scour the internet for articles about this process, catching myself up on industry terminology and trying to gauge how excited I should be.

Iโ€™m probably not getting my Warner Bros. film. I probably wonโ€™t be a millionaire. The hype could still help me, thoughโ€”I could still make some tens of thousands of dollars from Greenhouseโ€™s option offer. I could sell a few thousand more copies based on the publicity from that deal alone.

And thereโ€™s always that elusive, tempting โ€œmaybe.โ€ Maybe thisย willย get picked up by Netflix, or HBO or Hulu. Maybe the film will be a massive hit, and theyโ€™ll do another print run of my book with the movie poster on the cover, and Iโ€™ll get to attend the premiere in a dress tailor-made for me, arm in arm with the handsome Asian actor they cast to play A Geng. Elle Fanning will star as Annie Waters, and weโ€™ll take a cute selfie together at the premiere like the one Athena once took with Anne Hathaway.

Why not dream big? Iโ€™ve found, as I keep hitting my publishing goalposts, that my ambitions get larger and larger. I got my embarrassingly large advance. I got my bestseller status, my major magazine profiles, my prizes and honors. Now, with the sickly sweet taste of the Miss Saigon

lingering on my tongue, all that feels paltry in comparison to what true literary stardom looks like. I want what Stephen King has, what Neil Gaiman has. Whyย notย a movie deal? Why not Hollywood stardom? Why not a multimedia empire? Why not the world?

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