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Chapter no 26

Wreck & Ruin

Iย STAREDย into a pair of cobalt blue eyes.

Flynn Campbell looked down at me with a gentle smile. โ€œThere you are.โ€

โ€œHere I am,โ€ I murmured. โ€œWhat happened? Why am I flat on the ground?โ€

He scratched his jaw. โ€œYouโ€”ahโ€”mightโ€™ve hit your head when you were tackled.โ€

โ€œTwice in one day,โ€ I groaned. โ€œWho took me down? You?โ€ โ€œNo. Ramsey did.โ€

โ€œRamsey? Whoโ€™s Ramsey?โ€

โ€œFor all intents and purposes, Ramsey is my younger brother.โ€

When I tried to move, Flynn crouched down next to me and gently placed his hand on my shoulder. โ€œTake it easy. You might have a concussion.โ€

โ€œWhy are you here?โ€ I asked. โ€œI thought you and Barrett went back to Scotland.โ€

โ€œWe went home to visit the boys, but Colt called andโ€”โ€ โ€œColt,โ€ I demanded. โ€œWhere is he? Is heโ€”โ€

โ€œHe was loaded into one of the first ambulances on the scene. Joni rode with him to the hospital.โ€

โ€œTake me to him, please.

โ€œStay down,โ€ he growled. โ€œUntil an EMT can check you out.โ€ โ€œWhereโ€™s Knight? Whereโ€™s Shelly?โ€

โ€œTake a deep breath, Mia.โ€

โ€œDonโ€™t tell me to take a deep breath,โ€ I snapped. โ€œWas anyone killed?

Did Iโ€”please tell me I got him? Please tell me I hit Dev.โ€

Flynn shook his head in negation, his jaw clamping shut. He didnโ€™t address any of my other concerns because his eyes strayed from mine to look across the lawn.

โ€œWhat is it?โ€

โ€œThe sheriff is here.โ€

โ€œFor the love of God, thatโ€™s all we need,โ€ I muttered. โ€œFuck this.โ€ I slowly sat up and I was immediately assaulted by dancing vision. I closed my eyes to keep from throwing up.

Flynn bellowed, โ€œHey! Weโ€™ve got a woman with a concussion over here.โ€

โ€œWhy did Ramsey tackle me?โ€ โ€œYouโ€™ll have to ask him that.โ€

โ€œWhere is he,โ€ I muttered. โ€œIโ€™d like to give him a piece of my mind.โ€ โ€œPleased to meet you,โ€ said a smooth voice, dripping with a velvety

Scottish brogue.

โ€œMia, Iโ€™d like to introduce Ramsey Buchanan. Take nothing of what he says at face value.โ€

The man named Ramsey rolled striking green eyes and pushed the dark curls off his forehead before squatting down next to me.

โ€œSorry, lass.โ€ He winked. โ€œHad to take you from behind.โ€

I couldnโ€™t help but laugh even though it hurt my head. โ€œYou didnโ€™t have to tackle me.โ€

โ€œAye, I did. You were in danger. Quickest way to get you out of danger was to tackle you.โ€

An EMT finally made his way over to me; Flynn and Ramsey stayed while I got the green light to move.

โ€œIf a headache comes on, get to a doctor immediately,โ€ the young EMT said. โ€œSame for blurry vision, nausea, any hint of passing out or not being able to stay awake during normal hours.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m about to head to the hospital. Iโ€™ll be surrounded by doctors if I need one,โ€ I replied.

Looking around the park, I was saddened by the carnage. Books with fractured spines and torn pages littered the grass, broken toys, splintered pieces of furnitureโ€”everything that had been for sale was decimated. It was a depressing sight.

I walked toward Boxer and Reap. They were talking with a handful of men I didnโ€™t recognize; I assumed they were with Flynn. โ€œWhereโ€™s Knight?โ€ I asked Boxer. โ€œThe last I saw of him, he was in the thick of it.โ€

โ€œGetting stitched up at the hospital.โ€ Reap grimaced. โ€œHe went after one of the guys that shot at you. Got himself a knife to the shoulder for his trouble.โ€

A pang of worry went through me when I thought about my father and his injury, but he was alive.

โ€œJust got off the phone with Joni,โ€ Boxer said, his eyes dark. โ€œTheyโ€™ve patched up Coltโ€™s side. Heโ€™ll be fine, but they conked him out.โ€ His jaw clenched. โ€œCheese took a bullet to the chest. Heโ€™s in emergency surgery.โ€

โ€œOh God,โ€ I whispered.

Boxer looked at Reap, who nodded.

โ€œWhat?โ€ I asked. โ€œWhatโ€™s that look mean?โ€

Boxer placed his hand on my shoulder and gave it a tight squeeze. โ€œItโ€™s Shelly.โ€

 

 

She looked peaceful.

Her left hand rested on top of the sheet, her engagement ring catching the sunbeams streaming through the blinds of her room.

The ventilator machine beeped in time with the rise of her chest. โ€œYou shouldnโ€™t be here.โ€

I didnโ€™t turn my head at the sound of Markโ€™s angry voice. This was my fault.

She wouldnโ€™t be in the hospital on life support if it hadnโ€™t been for me.

Me.

I was the one whoโ€™d chosen a dangerous life. I was the one whoโ€™d selfishly wanted Shelly to still be a part of it because she was my family. Iโ€™d been determined to meld it all; my old life with the new.

And now my twenty-five-year-old best friend who I loved like a sister, whose life had just been getting started, whoโ€™d been planning a wedding, was in a coma.

Markโ€™s anger was palpable. I felt it in the air.

Felt it on my skin.

I wanted Colt next to me, to hold my hand during this awful moment of my life. But he was still unconscious from the drugs theyโ€™d given him. Zip and Joni sat by his bedside while I tended to this.

This.

Whateverย thisย was.

So familiar. Another loss piled on the mound of losses Iโ€™d already buried.

My mother. Grammie.

And now Shelly.

โ€œShe wouldnโ€™t want this,โ€ I said, my tone flat.

โ€œYou donโ€™t get to decide what she wouldโ€™ve wanted,โ€ Mark snapped. I heard heartbreak fighting its way through rage.

โ€œI know what she wanted.โ€ I finally looked at him.

White face. Pinched features. Red eyes, ready to burst with tears. But this was not the time for them. The tears could come later.

After.

โ€œThereโ€™s still hope.โ€ Mark looked at his fiancรฉe and then walked to her bedside. He tenderly brushed a finger across her cheek. โ€œThereโ€™s still hope she can wake up from this.โ€

Severe brain trauma resulting in permanent mental deficits. Paralysis.

Feeding tube.

Colostomy bag.

The doctor had regurgitated a statistic that a small percentage of people made it back from injuries like this, but his eyes had betrayed him.

I could read between the lies. Markโ€™s cell phone buzzed.

โ€œItโ€™s my lawyer,โ€ he stated. โ€œYouโ€”โ€

He didnโ€™t finish his sentence. Instead, he stalked from the room, the door shutting with a soft thud.

I leaned forward and gripped Shellyโ€™s hand in mine. โ€œHey, girl. Can you hear me?โ€ I paused, like I expected her to sit up and answer me. To tell me to stop being dramatic.

But nothing happened.

The sound of her respirator filled the room. Tears finally flooded my eyes.

โ€œI hope youโ€™re on the other side already and not scared or in pain. I hope itโ€™s gorgeous there. Peaceful. I hope youโ€™re happy.โ€

Part of me thought she might give my fingers a squeeze. Part of me thought this was all a sick joke, and that the universe had a wicked, dark sense of humor.

But when Shelly didnโ€™t move and the beeping machines continued to control her functions, I knew this for what it was.

Something cold settled in my chest where my heart beat.

Mark would fight me even though his lawyer would tell him it was pointless. Shelly may have been marrying Mark, but I was her next of kin. We had been close for years. So close that I was in charge of her medical directive. They hadnโ€™t been together long enough for her to change the paperwork giving him the power of attorney. After Grammie died, Shelly and I had made sure that our affairs were in order.

We were family, through and through.

Weโ€™d prepared for the worst because the world hadnโ€™t gone easy on either of usโ€”hadnโ€™t ever given us a break. Even though weโ€™d both found love, we still hadnโ€™t trusted it. Not really.

I brought our clasped hands to my mouth and gently kissed the back of her hand, a single tear falling onto her skin. I set her palm down by her side and then I forced myself to stand, taking one last look at her before I turned to leave.

Mark was pacing the hallway, barking something at his lawyer. When he saw me slip out from Shellyโ€™s room, he hung up and came at me.

โ€œYouย bitch.โ€

He was suddenly in my face, close enough that I felt his saliva hit my cheek as he spewed his venomous hate.

But I stood there and took it because I was guilty and deserving of his anger.

I was the reason she was in that bed, and I would stand there and let Mark hurl his vitriol at me if he chose.

Boxer had other plans.

I hadnโ€™t seen him coming down the hallway, but he was suddenly there and forcing himself between me and Mark.

โ€œYou fucking touch her and Iโ€™ll kill you.โ€

Mark had once been uneasy around the bikers who I now called family.

None of that unease was there now. Mark straightened his spine. โ€œTry it, fucker. Youโ€™re scum. You both are.โ€

Mark stomped away, his phone out of his pocket and to his ear in the span of a few seconds. His steps echoed across the floor and then disappeared as he turned the corner.

โ€œHey,โ€ Boxer said, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me to his chest.

I stood there without saying a word.

โ€œI know itโ€™s a shitty timeโ€ฆbut Colt is awake. Heโ€™s asking for you.โ€

I nodded and then swiveled my head away from Boxerโ€™s gaze so I could wipe away another tear that had escaped the corner of my eye.

โ€œItโ€™s bad, isnโ€™t it?โ€ Boxer asked. โ€œYou donโ€™t know?โ€

โ€œI tried to harass the doc into telling me whatโ€™s going on, but he said I wasnโ€™t family so he wouldnโ€™t tell me shit.โ€

I inhaled a shaky breath. โ€œSheโ€™s on a ventilator. A machine is breathing for her,โ€ I said softly. โ€œShe doesnโ€™tโ€”thereโ€™s no brain activity. She wouldnโ€™t want this. Stuck in a bed until medicine finally quits on her. Mark wants to leave her on the machines. I donโ€™t. Iโ€™m in charge of her medical directive. Not Mark.โ€

โ€œFuck.โ€

I nodded.

โ€œIโ€™m not sure I should be the one to give you more shitty news, but I donโ€™t know if Colt knows yet or if Zip is filling him inโ€ฆโ€

โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œCheese died in surgery.โ€

His words didnโ€™t even penetrate. Not the way they were supposed to.

โ€œMia?โ€ Boxer pressed. โ€œDid you hear me?โ€

โ€œYeah,โ€ I murmured. โ€œI heard you. I just donโ€™t know what you want me to do about it.โ€

He looked at me with a frown, but said nothing more.

We arrived at Coltโ€™s hospital room and both went in. Joni and Zip were sitting next to each other in plastic chairs. Coltโ€™s glassy eyes found me immediately.

โ€œBabe,โ€ he whispered.

I arched an eyebrow, shooting him a cool expression. โ€œAlways the hero, huh?โ€

โ€œIf I remember it right, I wasnโ€™t the only one in the line of fire.โ€ He licked his lips. โ€œWhat does a man have to do to get his woman to kiss him? Almost die?โ€

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Joniโ€™s spine snap straight. Zip looked at his lap. I couldnโ€™t see Boxer since he was behind me, but even he wasnโ€™t cracking a joke.

โ€œSome of us have died,โ€ I said quietly.

Coltโ€™s eyes turned somber and he nodded. โ€œI heard about Cheese. Joni just told me Shellyโ€™s here? How is she?โ€

โ€œSheโ€™s on life support.โ€

โ€œFuck. Come here and let me hold youโ€”โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ I stated coolly. โ€œI donโ€™t want to be held right now.โ€

His brow furrowed in confusion and then his gaze shot over my shoulder. I turned to glance at Boxer who was shaking his head and shrugging.

โ€œMaybe I need holding,โ€ Colt stated. โ€œYou ever think of that?โ€ โ€œThatโ€™s the morphine talking,โ€ I said.

Colt looked to Zip. โ€œYou guys mind giving us a few?โ€

โ€œTake all the time you need, brother.โ€ Zip got up and came toward me. He stared at me and then before I knew it, he was enveloping me in a tight embrace.

I didnโ€™t hug him back.

He released me and then followed Boxer out of the room. Joni was slower to leave, first going to her brother and leaning down to whisper something in his ear. Colt nodded at whatever she said. She stood back up and squeezed his shoulder.

When Joniโ€™s gaze darted to mine, I couldnโ€™t detect the emotion in them when she looked at me. She sailed past me without a word or a touch. I wondered about her for a moment, before dismissing her from my mind.

โ€œYouโ€™re still standing over there,โ€ Colt said after the door shut. โ€œWhen you should be over here.โ€

I walked to him and took a seat on his bed, close enough that I could feel the heat of him.

โ€œWhatโ€™s going on inside your head right now, Mia?โ€

โ€œWhatโ€™s going on inside your head right now, Colt?โ€ I parroted back. โ€œRight now, Iโ€™m on a lot of drugs. I canโ€™t even feel where they dug the

bullet out of me, and Iโ€™m wondering why youโ€™re acting the way youโ€™re acting.โ€

โ€œI tried to shoot Dev for you, Colt. And I missed. Do you know how fucking angry I am that I missed?โ€ I swallowed. โ€œDo you know what it was like for me? Thinking you were dying?โ€ I didnโ€™t pause to give him a chance to reply. โ€œDo you know the fuckingย terrorย I felt about losing you? I watched you take a bullet, Colt. I had your blood on my hands.โ€

His face darkened with his own anger and impotence. โ€œYou donโ€™t think I know that? Shit, Mia. My last thoughts before I passed out were of you. And the guilt I felt about bringing you deeper into this and not being able to protect you.โ€

โ€œYour guilt is no match for mine,โ€ I stated. โ€œI got pulled into all of this because of Richie. I chose you because I wanted to. But Shelly?โ€ I shook my head. โ€œSheโ€™s not getting married, Colt. Sheโ€™s not going to wake up, ever, and itโ€™s because she choseย meย as her family. Cheese died today. Shelly may

as well have. Her body is still here but only for now. You got shot. How many more people will get hurt because of me?โ€

โ€œWhat are you saying, darlinโ€™? Because it sounds to me like youโ€™re trying to walk away. But itโ€™s too late for that now.โ€

My gaze slid from his to stare at the wall. A white, sterile hospital wall that gave no comfort to its patients or the people that came to visit loved ones.

โ€œIโ€™m not walking away,โ€ I replied, my tone faint. โ€œYouโ€™re right, itโ€™s too late for that. Iโ€™m in too deep.โ€ I reached out and grasped his handโ€”the one with the IV needleโ€”and linked my fingers through his.

โ€œIโ€™m sorry about Shelly,โ€ Colt said, his tone mournful. โ€œI donโ€™t know what else I can say.โ€

I nodded, tracing his knuckles. โ€œThis is the life, isnโ€™t it?โ€ โ€œMiaโ€”โ€

โ€œJustโ€ฆcan we sit here? And not say anything for a few minutes?โ€

He pulled his hand away from me and raised his arm to create a space next to him. I gently crawled in beside him, nestling myself at his non- injured side. Colt draped his arm around me and I pressed my head to his chest, listening to the sound of his breathing, grateful that at least one person I loved was still alive.

 

 

I awoke to the sound of Coltโ€™s hospital door opening. Dying sunlight filtered through the blinds. I had somehow fallen asleep despite everything that had occurred.

Though Colt was warm next to me, I felt numb. โ€œHowโ€™s he doing?โ€ Zip asked, his voice low.

โ€œOkay, I guess. I donโ€™t know. We fell asleep.โ€ I gently sat up, careful not to jostle him. โ€œI donโ€™t want to leave him, but I have toโ€ฆShellyโ€ฆโ€

โ€œRight.โ€ Zip nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. โ€œLook, shit is bad right now. Reapโ€™ll be here with Colt. Heโ€™ll be taken care of.โ€

I blinked. โ€œYou think the Iron Horsemen would come to the hospital?โ€ โ€œI wouldnโ€™t put anything past them. They went after women and

children. They broke the code. They are out of their fuckinโ€™ minds.โ€

I looked at my hands and then back at Zip. โ€œWhat happens now? Reap shadows Colt while heโ€™s recovering. What do we do about all the other stuff? The mess we have to clean up from the park. The sheriff showed upโ€ฆโ€

โ€œFlynn is handling it.โ€

โ€œOf course he is,โ€ I muttered. โ€œWhat about Darcy and the kids? What about Cheeseโ€™s funeralโ€”โ€

What about Shelly and what Iโ€™m going to have to do?

I pushed that thought down as far as it would go so I could focus on the here and now.

โ€œZip will act as president,โ€ came Coltโ€™s raspy voice. โ€œLockdown is back on. Youโ€™ll go back to the clubhouse andโ€”โ€

โ€œLike hell I will,โ€ I replied.

Colt didnโ€™t take his eyes off me when he said to Zip, โ€œGive us a minute, will you?โ€

Zip wasnโ€™t one to make a snarky reply; that was Boxerโ€™s territory. The Blue Angels VP nodded and quietly exited the room, leaving Colt and I to duke it out in private.

โ€œI canโ€™t sit and wait, Colt,โ€ I said. Though my tone was soft, it was threaded with steel. โ€œI sit and I wait, and I worry. Do you know what itโ€™s like to feel useless? To go from complete independence to not being able to make a single move without your boyfriendโ€™s approval?โ€

โ€œDev is on a rampage,โ€ he said, his tone laced with pain and anger. โ€œHeโ€™ll stop at nothing now. Donโ€™t you get it? He went after the innocent. He doesnโ€™t give a shit now what happens. He started a war.โ€

โ€œYeah, and he made that war personal for me.โ€ I pointed to the door. โ€œShelly is lying in a hospital bed and I have toโ€”I have to sign the forms to

let her go.โ€

Coltโ€™s dark eyes brightened with intensity. โ€œI get it, Mia. If anyone gets it, I do. I lost a brother today. Weโ€™re burying a twenty-five-year-old man who was as loyal as they come. You know what Zip told me? You know why Cheese died? Because he dove in front of his brother.โ€

My heart stuttered and then thawed a bit when I thought of Silas, Cheeseโ€™s younger sibling. Then my heart re-froze because Iย hadย to be cold. I had to stay clear headed.

โ€œHave you cried?โ€ Colt asked, pitching his voice low. โ€œFor your friend?โ€

โ€œCried? What good will that do?โ€ I demanded.

He leaned back against the pillows and stared at me. โ€œItโ€™ll hurt worse, you know. Shoving it aside and dealing with it later.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ll deal with it when Dev is dead.โ€

He suddenly looked tired. In the span of a few minutes, Colt went from robust, iron fisted president to a man lying injured in a hospital bed.

โ€œIโ€™m not going to like what youโ€™re about to tell me, am I?โ€ Colt sighed, like he knew what was coming.

โ€œI have to help get rid of him, Colt. I have to.โ€ โ€œThe truth, Mia. I want the entire truth.โ€ โ€œThat is the truth.โ€

โ€œIs it? You just feel obligated to help get rid of him, or is there more to it than that?โ€ he murmured.

I paused and then said, โ€œHeโ€™s trying to take everything from me, Colt.

My family, my freedom, my life. I have toโ€ฆ Iย wantย toโ€ฆโ€

โ€œSay it,โ€ he growled. โ€œSay it to me now. Tell me what it is you know you have to do or youโ€™ll never be able to look at yourself in the mirror.โ€

โ€œI have to see him die.โ€

The words slithered out of me like a snake hiding in the brush. Foul, angry words.

Truthful words.

โ€œIt wonโ€™t bring Shelly back,โ€ he said. โ€œNo,โ€ I agreed.

โ€œIโ€™m not sure it will make you feel any better, either.โ€ He leaned his head back against the pillow and his eyes were glazed with pain. โ€œBut I guess youโ€™ll have to wait and see.โ€

 

 

I slid into an empty pew and breathed in the silence of the chapel.

Boxer stood by the doors, guarding me without interfering with my private time. Iโ€™d waited until Colt had fallen asleep before leaving his room. Iโ€™d gone and sat with Shelly, despite Markโ€™s hostile glare pinging me from across her hospital bed.

Lost in my own thoughts, I didnโ€™t hear the chapel doors open.

A large body sat down next to me and stretched out long legs in worn jeans. The smell of cigar tobacco permeated Knightโ€™s clothes, but it wasnโ€™t unpleasant.

โ€œI didnโ€™t take you for the religious type,โ€ Knight said.

โ€œIโ€™m not. But itโ€™s quiet here.โ€ I looked at him. โ€œThank you.โ€ โ€œFor what?โ€

โ€œSaving my life.โ€

He nodded slowly, but said nothing. โ€œHowโ€™s your shoulder?โ€ I asked him. โ€œIโ€™ll live.โ€

We fell silent for a moment and then he said, โ€œI heard about your friend.

Iโ€™m sorry, kid.โ€

The wordย kidย slipped out of his mouth. Like it was normal, natural.

With a sigh, I leaned my head against his uninjured shoulder. I felt his muscles tighten for a moment and then relax.

โ€œWhat happens now?โ€ I asked. โ€œIt feels like weโ€™re scrambling.โ€ โ€œGotta ask Colt. Heโ€™s the one leading all of this.โ€

โ€œColt is passed out in a hospital bed. Zip is president for the time being.โ€

โ€œYou should go back to the clubhouse and get some sleep.โ€

โ€œWill you sleep tonight?โ€ I asked, lifting my head so I could stare at him.

โ€œPoint taken,โ€ he said darkly.

โ€œBesides, I wonโ€™t leave while Colt is here. While Shelly is here.โ€

โ€œI saw what you did. Firing a shot at Dev, wanting to avenge your man.

Youโ€™re true Old Lady material, Mia. And Iโ€™m proud of you.โ€

His words washed over me, but they werenโ€™t a balm to my battered soul.

I looked up at the ceiling. The chapel was serviceable, a place one could sit and ponder, pray, curse, but it wasnโ€™t a spot of beauty. The room was built for function, not frivolity. It didnโ€™t have the elegance and craftsmanship like those gothic cathedrals with huge stained glass windows. In a hospital that wasnโ€™t what was needed.

โ€œI didnโ€™t think Iโ€™d be doing this again,โ€ I whispered. โ€œDoing what?โ€

โ€œSaying goodbye to someone else I loved. I feel powerless. Useless.โ€ I threaded my fingers through my hair, wanting to reach out and strangle something just to combat my feelings of impotence. To kill my inability to change the circumstances.

Knight didnโ€™t offer any platitudes, not that I expected him to. He was a rough man, made rougher by the life heโ€™d chosen to live. But his presence was a comfort anyway, and maybe, words were stupid and useless.

Maybe all we had were the people we chose to be our family. Maybe theyโ€™d be our strength when we were ready to fall.

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