AFTERNOON SANK INTO EVENING. Gray lit the bonfire and Darcy brought out the ingredients for S’mores. Lily and Cam sat on either side of me on a log, asking me to make them dessert. I looked to Darcy who told them they could have one each. They grumbled, but when I promised I’d only eat one too and then smeared melted chocolate on all of our faces, they giggled and didn’t care.
I caught Colt’s gaze, flickering and dark in the firelight. Looking relaxed, he sipped his beer, nodding every few beats to something Zip was saying. Throughout the barbecue, I’d sought him out. Even when I was talking to Joni or Rachel, and some of the other Old Ladies, my mind and gaze wandered to Colt. There were a few times that I’d caught him looking at me, too.
Studying him in his element with his club showed me a different side of him. Though he was always in control, this was Colt around his tribe. I gave myself the luxury of a fantasy of what my life would look like if I chose to stay.
Acceptance. Family. Home.
Was I knowingly going to walk away from that?
The more time I spent with Colt, the more I was beginning to think he was right. We did fit together, we did understand one another, we were both
looking for something more out of life than to just get by after the deaths of loved ones.
My thoughts were heavy as the night wore on. Those with children were gearing up to leave. Cam and Lily hugged me goodnight and then Darcy took them home. The kids who were siblings of members or girlfriends had their mothers come get them and then it was just the adults. Conversations turned low, and people split off into couples. I watched Joni and Zip sit next to each other but not touch or talk.
Wanting to be just a little bit closer to the fire, I got up off the log to sit on the ground. I felt someone at my back, and then the sweep of my hair off my shoulder. Colt’s large, warm hand rested on my neck, his thumb stroking the curve. I leaned back against his knees and closed my eyes, the heat of the fire warm at my front. A slight spring breeze tickled my ear and I let out a sigh.
He leaned down and inquired, “Meant to ask…did you sign up for online classes?”
I shook my head. “No, I need my credit card to seal the deal and it hasn’t arrived yet.”
Colt paused. “I’ve got a credit card.”
“You’re not suggesting what I think you’re suggesting.” “Use my credit card,” he stated.
“You trust me not to do an online shopping spree?” “Yeah, I trust you.”
My insides felt like mush. “I’ll pay you back.” “Fine,” he answered brusquely.
I smiled even though he couldn’t see me. I would never be someone who would take handouts and give nothing in return. I wasn’t wired that way. I liked to contribute on my own and bring something real to the table. Colt seemed inclined to want to take care of me. He was president of the Blue Angels and an older brother. It was in his DNA to be in control and to
protect. I could appreciate that about him, but I had no trouble pushing back and letting him know I could take care of myself. I was glad he’d take my money when the time came.
The atmosphere of the party changed with the departure of children and the arrival of young women in tight clothing. I watched as some of the married men groped and made out with the women who had come to the club gathering. Darcy and the other Old Ladies hadn’t talked about this part of club life. It was one thing to sleep around when you were single, but these were married men and it felt like a different deal all together.
Zip got off the log next to Joni, took his beer bottle and went to a skimpy-clad woman with fake breasts. She screeched in excitement and then jumped into his arms. He caught her and then they started making out.
“Ew,” I muttered and then discreetly glanced at Joni. Her gaze had dropped to her lap, and I knew she was battling her hurt.
With a squeeze to Colt’s leg, I stood up from the ground, my tailbone numb. “Bathroom,” I said to Colt. He nodded. I walked over to Joni and without a word, grabbed her hand, pulling her away from the party and the man she couldn’t have.
“I think I’ll ask Cheese for a ride,” Joni said when we were far enough away from the bonfire not to be overheard. Defeat weighed heavily in her voice. “He’s sober and I’ve got to get out of here.”
We entered the hallway of the clubhouse, passing more women on their way out to the bonfire. They looked ready to party, some of them already swaying on their high heels.
“Don’t go,” I pled. “Hang out with me.”
Darcy had left. Rachel had disappeared with Reap into his clubhouse room, and Allison was too quiet and I felt like when we spoke, I was speaking at her.
“I can’t do this,” Joni said. “I’ve watched him do this for years, and I’m done. I need to be done.”
“Stay and fight for him.”
“He doesn’t even see me—and if he wants to play around, then fine, but I won’t wait for him anymore.”
“I’ll walk with you to find Cheese.”
“Most of them are like that,” Joni said. “Fuck anything that walks—a lot of the married guys are the same way.”
“Gray plays around on Darcy? I find that hard to believe.” “I said ‘most’. Gray’s a solid, faithful guy.”
“I guess not all men are cheaters.”
We exited the clubhouse and stood on the porch. I looked around for Cheese and found him standing guard with a prospect named Acid.
“Colt’s not like that,” Joni said. “He’s not?”
She shook her head. “Dad never played around on Mom and Colt is cut from the same cloth as our father.”
“Is that why you all keep pushing me to be with Colt? Even though it’s so sudden? I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of intensity…”
“He’s my brother, and I love him,” she began, “but I’m telling you, even if I wasn’t his sister, I’d still push you toward him. He’s one of the best men I’ve ever met. Loyal. As loyal as they come.”
“It’s not enough of a reason. I want to want him because I can’t breathe without him, you know?”
“That’s how I feel about Zip.”
“Then how are you supposed to let him go?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I just know I have to.”
I squeezed her hand, my heart beating in sympathy for my new friend. But there was nothing more to say, so I stood with her on the front porch of the clubhouse while we waited for Cheese to grab his bike and take her home.
 |
“I’m gonna fuck Colt tonight,” a girl slurred.
The words stopped me cold and I immediately tucked myself into a nook where I could eavesdrop in privacy. I couldn’t see the two women’s faces, but I could hear them clearly—not that they were attempting to be quiet.
“Good luck,” her friend replied. “He hasn’t been able to take his eyes off that girl all night.”
“That girl,” the drunk woman spat. “What the hell does he see in her? She’s not even that hot. And she’s so fucking short. If he fucks her he’s gonna break her in half.”
“You would know,” her friend teased. “The last time you slept with him you were hurting the next day.”
“Oh, but I hurt so good!”
The sound of their heels and laughter disappeared down the hallway, their words echoing in my ears. I sank down onto the floor, pulled my legs up to my chest, and rested my head on my knees. I hadn’t been prepared for their gossip. Not that I was ever going to be prepared to hear another woman talk about Colt in any sort of intimate way. A way I had yet to experience, but wanted to.
Desperately.
I admitted my desire for him. But I knew by the churning in my belly it wasn’t just about sex. Because Colt hadn’t taken me to his bed, I’d had time to live in his house, in his presence and had begun to feel things for him.
I’d catch him staring at me, his dark brown eyes warm and soft. There were lines around the corners of his eyes—but not from smiling. He hadn’t grown up smiling. He’d grown up fast because he’d lost his parents young. Parents who were in love, who meant everything to one another.
“Babe?”
I flinched, not having heard Colt approach. He stood above me, a frown on his face. “What are you doing?”
“I needed a minute away from the party. Joni left,” I added. “I know. Cheese texted that he was taking her home.”
“I’m tired,” I said, not at all lying. “I want to go home.” I didn’t want to go back to the party and watch loose women crawl all over married men. I didn’t want to watch them make a play for Colt—I didn’t want to feel like he was mine when I was too much of a chicken shit to take what he was offering me.
Colt held out his hand and I grasped it. He hauled me up and brought me to him. If I leaned forward, I would be able to press my forehead to his muscled chest and enjoy the soft fabric of his cotton T-shirt and the firmness of his body. I wanted to breathe in the scent of him, know him the way I knew myself.
All I had to do was say yes. Jump into the unknown with Colt by my side.
He laced his fingers through mine and led me through the clubhouse, but not to the exit. Instead, he took me down the hallway toward his bedroom. “We’ll crash here tonight,” he explained.
I swallowed. “We?”
With his free hand, he reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his thumb lingering on my jaw. “Yeah. We.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready, Colt. For all this. For you.”
His thumb moved to the center of my chin. “You’ve got the tiniest cleft.” He smiled slightly. “It was the first thing I noticed when you came to me at Dive Bar. Not your eyes, not your mouth. Not your gorgeous legs in those tight as fuck jeans. No. I noticed the cleft. And then you saw me in the alleyway, and instead of calling the cops, you let it be. I knew you were special.”
I tilted my head back to stare into his languid brown eyes.
“I thought this woman isn’t afraid of me and can handle my life. Even when I saw you on the steps of my garage, with your injured wrist and
scratches on your face, you didn’t look beaten down. Is that woman truly scared of what a man can make her feel?”
“I’m not ready to be owned by feelings.”
“Mia.” He sighed. “You don’t think it’s a one-way street, do you?”
He dropped my hand and placed it on my waist as he pushed me against the door of his room. His lips came down on mine, hungry and dangerous. I no longer cared about anything except Colt.
Colt lifted his head. “You own me. I’m yours for the taking.”
My tongue darted out to sweep across my lips. I could taste him and it only made me greedy for all of him.
We had so much in common and it made us understand one another. When you were marred by grief and loss, touched by darkness, only another person who’d gone through the same thing could understand.
“I’m not gonna force you into anything. Just know that I want you.”
He stared at me and waited. I bit my lip, letting him see my indecision. Was I really going to turn away a man who made me feel alive? Who reminded me that I hadn’t died with Grammie? That life was more than just a shitty job at a bar and forgotten dreams?
I brushed past him and turned the knob of his bedroom door. We stepped into his room and Colt flipped on the light.
A naked woman rested in the middle of Colt’s bed, legs spread, all on display, her hand trailing down her body. I wondered if it was the same woman I’d overheard in the hallway.
“Colt,” she purred. “I’ve been waiting for you.” Her glassy eyes darted to me. “Wanna join us?”
I was about to bolt, but Colt’s grip on my arm stopped me. “Get out,” he snapped at her.
She closed her legs and managed to sit up, shiny brown locks trailing over a breast. She stood, not caring that she was nude. The woman bent over and shimmied into her tight skirt and low-cut tank. Sauntering past us
in a wave of perfume, she gave Colt a lingering look before leaving. But the ghost of her presence remained.
“Let go of my arm,” I breathed.
He paused a moment and then released me.
“So that’s what you meant when you said these parties get wild?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“Were you planning to—with her, I mean?”
“Seriously,” he barked. “I just got done telling you you’re all I want.
You really think I had a backup plan in mind if you told me no?”
Colt took a step toward me so he could reach out and haul my body to his. I felt how much he wanted me, and all my fears of inadequacy faded.
“I’m not going to be one of those women,” I said slowly. “What are you talking about?”
“I won’t turn a blind eye when her man fucks around. I won’t have it, Colt.”
His smile was slow. “All right, babe. No fucking around. Promise.” “And I’m not sleeping on those sheets.”
Colt leaned down to kiss me. “There’s a clean set in the bottom dresser drawer.” His hands dropped, and he took a step toward the door.
“Where are you going?”
He looked back at me, his eyes glittering. “To have words.”
|
I somehow managed to change the sheets even with my bum wrist and then went into Colt’s private bathroom to freshen up. I finger brushed my teeth and gargled with mouthwash. An hour passed and Colt still hadn’t returned. I got up off the bed and went to a dresser drawer to find one of his T-shirts to sleep in. I flipped on a bedside lamp and then turned out the main light. The sounds of the party were muted, but every now and then I could hear someone laugh.
I fell asleep, my face pressed into Colt’s pillow. Sometime in the middle of the night, I felt him slide into bed next to me. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me against him. I turned my head and his lips captured mine. His tongue swept inside my mouth. I sighed, loving the hard feel of him at my back.
He brushed the hair off my neck and pressed a kiss to my nape before hugging me tighter.
Morning light filtered through the small window of the clubhouse bedroom. I was nestled against Colt, his large hand cupping my breast.
Warm lips grazed my collarbone that peeked out from Colt’s T-shirt. “Mornin’,” he whispered. His brown eyes were dark and clear, his stubble thick.
I rolled over so I could face him. There was something intimate about this morning. Maybe because we cleared the air last night and some of my concerns had been addressed. I didn’t know how any of this was going to go, but Colt had promised me fidelity.
“I don’t remember you coming to bed.”
“I was only gone an hour and a half,” he said in amusement. “You couldn’t even stay awake long enough to wait for me.”
“Adrenaline dump. I was wiped. What were you doing?” I asked.
“I was getting Bianca out of the clubhouse. And then I made an announcement that my room is now off limits. And I got pulled into club shit and had a few beers with the guys.”
My arms enveloped his neck and I slipped my leg between his, feeling his erection against me.
His hands wormed their way into the front of my underwear so he could stroke bare skin. “I like you in my shirt.”
Colt’s fingers splayed across my flesh, igniting my desire. I rolled into him, forcing him onto his back. He hauled me on top of him so I could
straddle his waist. His chest was uncovered, and my eyes greedily drank in the artwork on him.
“You’re beautiful,” I said softly. I leaned down to press my lips against his left pectoral, my mouth covering the two sets of numbers over his heart.
I had a guess for what they meant—the dates of his parents’ deaths.
“I need to see you,” he whispered, his hands grabbing the bottom of the T-shirt and slowly pulling it up over my head.
I sat astride him, topless, in the morning sunlight. His brown eyes were hooded with desire and his hands reached out to caress my aching breasts.
“Christ,” he muttered, his fingers twisting my nipples into hard points. “I knew once I saw these I’d be done for.”
I laughed softly. “Are you a breast man? Or an ass man?”
One hand slid away from my breast to press against the small of my back while the other gently grabbed my hair to tug me toward his mouth.
“I’m a you man.” His lips took mine in a ravenous kiss. Our tongues fought, inflaming my desire. I took a deep breath and grew dizzy from the scent of him. Warm skin, sensual eyes, his body primed and ready to take mine.
God, I wanted him.
I cradled him between the juncture of my thighs as I gently ground against him.
He tore his mouth from mine, his teeth sinking into the skin of my neck. “Closer. Lean over me.”
I scooted up his body so that my breasts were level with his mouth. His velvet tongue stroked my nipple before taking it with his lips. Liquid heat singed my core. The throbbing between my thighs made me spread my legs, wanting more friction, wanting more of Colt.
“Bet you’re like hot, wet silk.” His eyes were on me. “Should I find out?”
I nodded eagerly.
His hand pushed aside my panties to cup the heat of me. He teased my folds and then slid one huge finger inside my body.
I couldn’t stop the shudder. “Hot as fuck,” he growled.
“Give me another finger,” I commanded.
He grinned. Colt slipped in another finger and curled them both ever so slightly, hitting that spot inside me that was so elusive, it had me clenching him hard.
“Damn, woman,” he muttered. “I can’t wait to feel you come.”
His free hand settled on my hip and urged me to use him for my pleasure. I rode his fingers, tightening around him, mindless of anything but the feel of him between my legs.
It was good, but it wasn’t what I wanted. “Colt,” I begged. “I need more.”
“Not yet. Come for me this way, darlin’. I know you’re close.” “Kiss me,” I moaned.
“No. I want your eyes on me when you come. I want to see you.”
My skin was glazed with pleasure and it felt like it was the only thing holding me together.
“Feel me, Mia,” he whispered.
His fingers, combined with the use of my given name, sent me over the edge. I tightened around him and let out a strangled cry.
I shivered and shook, feeling him deep inside me, gripping him. Colt waited to slide his fingers out until my aftershocks faded.
I rolled off him and collapsed onto my side of the bed and closed my eyes.
“Babe?”
“Just, give me a minute,” I muttered.
He let out a low chuckle. “You wanna get out of here? Get breakfast?”
My eyes flipped open. “How can you think about food at a time like this?”
His smile was infectious and light-hearted. “Believe me, this is all I’ll be thinking about through breakfast.”
“Don’t you want—well, are we really done?”
Colt maneuvered his arm underneath my body and cradled me into his side. “There’s no rush.”
“Rush? Who’s talking about rushing? I’m just ready for more of you.”
“Are you now?” he murmured, his head turning so his lips could graze my ear.
I slithered my hand beneath the covers, brushing his thigh before snaking up the side of his boxers to grasp him.
“Jesus,” Colt murmured when I squeezed and stroked my finger across his tip.
“I want to see you.”
“God, I’m begging you to wait.”
I looked at him in confusion. “Why?”
“Because when you touch me, I’m gonna want to touch you back, and then we’ll never leave this room.”
My grin was wide and full of arrogance. “I fail to see that as a problem.”
“I want you in my bed. My bed at my house. I wanna walk to the kitchen naked. I wanna shower with you and take you against the wall. I don’t need my brothers hearing me screaming your name.”
Colt’s fingers plowed through my tangled hair as he brought his mouth to mine. It was over far too soon and he released me. He sat up to swing his legs over the side of the bed.
“Spare toothbrush in the drawer,” he said.
I shot him a grin as I rose and went to the bathroom. After washing up, I slipped on my dress. I took one last look in the mirror, pulled back my hair
into a ponytail, and went into the bedroom. Colt was already dressed, and I watched him reach for his Glock on the nightstand and put it in his vest.
“Ready?” he asked.
I nodded. He opened the bedroom door, took my hand, and we walked through the clubhouse. The party had clearly moved indoors some time during the night. Empty beer bottles littered the floors and tables. Not to mention the naked bodies, including Boxer who had two busty, bare women in his arms. I lifted a hand to my eyes to shield my view and heard Colt chuckle.
“I have to open the gate,” he said when we got out onto the porch. “Prospects usually do it, but they were allowed in to the party last night, so they’re all still passed out.” He reached into his pocket to grab his truck keys and tossed them to me. “Get the engine going, yeah?”
I nodded and headed for his truck while he went to the gate. I unlocked the vehicle and was about to climb into the driver’s side, but I stopped to watch Colt. He was crouched over something I couldn’t see.
Out of sheer curiosity, I walked through the open gate toward him. When he heard my steps on the gravel, he turned and looked at me over his shoulder. “Babe, stop.” He stood up quickly, but he wasn’t able to conceal a pair of legs twisted at an odd angle.
“You don’t want to see this,” he stated, coming to stand in front of me. “Yes, I do,” I said softly. “Please?”
He paused in obvious hesitation and then Colt moved aside to reveal a naked body sprawled on the ground. The swollen and bruised face was covered in blood, matting the dark hair and scalp. Grotesque burns covered the chest.
A sound of disbelief escaped my mouth and I dropped the truck keys that were in my hand. I shook my head in denial. A faint breeze stirred, carrying the smell of blood and charred flesh toward me.
My stomach revolted, and I turned my head and retched.
