the first time i meet Oliviaโs little brother, i have to admit iโm totally taken by surprise.
i shouldnโt be, of course. oliviaโs told me about his โsyndrome.โ has even described what he looks like. but sheโs also talked about all his surgeries over the years, so i guess i assumed heโd be more normal- looking by now. like when a kid is born with a cleft palate and has plastic surgery to fix it sometimes you canโt even tell except for the little scar above the lip. i guess i thought her brother would have some scars here and there. but not this. i definitely wasnโt expecting to see this little kid in a baseball cap whoโs sitting in front of me right now.
actually there are two kids sitting in front me: one is a totally normal-looking kid with curly blond hair named jack; the other is auggie.
i like to think iโm able to hide my surprise. i hope i do. surprise is one of those emotions that can be hard to fake, though, whether youโre trying to look surprised when youโre not or trying to not look surprised when you are.
i shake his hand. i shake the other kidโs hand. donโt want to focus on his face. cool room, I say.
are you viaโs boyfriend? he says. i think heโs smiling. olivia pushes down his baseball cap.
is that a machine gun? the blond kid asks, like i havenโt heard that one before. and we talk about zydeco for a bit. and then viaโs taking my hand and leading me out of the room. as soon as we close the door behind us, we hear them laughing.
iโm from brooklyn! one of them sings.
olivia rolls her eyes as she smiles. letโs go hang out in my room, she says.
weโve been dating for two months now. i knew from the moment i saw her, the minute she sat down at our table in the cafeteria, that i liked her. i couldnโt keep my eyes off of her. really beautiful. with
olive skin and the bluest eyes iโve ever seen in my life. at first she acted like she only wanted to be friends. i think she kind of gives off that vibe without even meaning to. stay back. donโt even bother. she doesnโt flirt like some other girls do. she looks you right in the eye when she talks to you, like sheโs daring you. so i just kept looking her right in the eye, too, like i was daring her right back. and then i asked her out and she said yes, which rocked.
sheโs an awesome girl and i love hanging out with her.
she didnโt tell me about august until our third date. i think she used the phrase โa craniofacial abnormalityโ to describe his face. or maybe it was โcraniofacial anomaly.โ i know the one word she didnโt use was โdeformed,โ though, because that word would have registered with me.
so, what did you think? she asks me nervously the second weโre inside her room. are you shocked?
no, i lie.
she smiles and looks away. youโre shocked.
iโm not, i assure her. heโs just like what you said heโd be.
she nods and plops down on her bed. kind of cute how she still has a lot of stuffed animals on her bed. she takes one of them, a polar bear, without thinking and puts it in her lap.
i sit down on the rolling chair by her desk. her room is immaculate. when i was little, she says, there were lots of kids who never came
back for a second playdate. i mean,ย lotsย of kids. i even had friends who wouldnโt come to my birthdays because he would be there. they never actually told me this, but it would get back to me. some people just donโt know how to deal with auggie, you know?
i nod.
itโs not even like they know theyโre being mean, she adds. they were just scared. i mean, letโs face it, his face is a little scary, right?
i guess, i answer.
but youโre okay with it? she asks me sweetly. youโre not too freaked out? or scared?
iโm not freaked out or scared. i smile.
she nods and looks down at the polar bear on her lap. i canโt tell whether she believes me or not, but then she gives the polar bear a kiss on the nose and tosses it to me with a little smile. i think that means she believes me. or at least that she wants to.