THE FRONT DOOR SWINGS OPEN, revealing a now fully-dressed Henry; I push off from my truck, avoiding eye contact as I walk past my friend into our house.
I’ve seen Henry’s ass before, it’s kind of a given when you’re on a hockey team. Locker rooms and sharing hotel rooms; it’s nothing new.
That was new.
“I’m sorry, man,” I say, throwing myself into the recliner and not onto the couch I’ll never be sitting on ever again. “I should have given you the heads up; I didn’t think you’d be here. Is your guest okay? I didn’t see her if that makes her feel better.”
“Why are you apologizing for coming to your own house?” he says, grabbing us both a bottle of water from the refrigerator. “She’s fine, just a little embarrassed. She’s having a shower and I found her a moisturizing face mask thing to relax. I’ll check on her after you tell me why you’re in Maple Hills.”
“Family shit. I’ve only arrived today, that’s why I didn’t text to say I was back. I want to shower before I head back to camp.”
“You can’t drive back today,” Henry says. “That’s too much driving for one day. Stay tonight, head back in the morning. You want to talk about the family thing?”
I shake my head, dragging my hand through my hair, realizing how tired I am now I’ve stopped running on adrenaline. “You’re right. I’ll leave first thing. Don’t feel like you’ve gotta hang around for me though. I’ll go in my room out of the way, just don’t fuck in this chair, alright? This one is my favorite.”
He gives me a strained smile as he stands and moves toward the stairs. “I feel sorry for you if you think any of the surfaces in this house are safe. I’ll spare you the full description of what I walked in on Lola doing to Robbie when he was sitting there.”
“Yeah, I’m sure I can guess.”
“It was a blowjob.”
Maybe I’ll sit on the floor. “Fantastic. Listen, I’m pretty beat, I’m going to shower. Maybe have a nap. Is Robbie still in New York?”
“Yeah, he gets back next week. I’ll try and keep the noise down.” “You’re a good friend,” I laugh.
He nods and heads up the stairs, looking at me over his shoulder. “So are you.”
NAPPING HAS NEVER BEEN MY strength, even when I haven’t got a head full of noise. I put my phone on do not disturb after my brother started with the calls and the messages. Being without consistent reception for a month has killed any dependency I had on my cellphone; if I can hear it now, it irritates me.
I don’t know how long I’ve been staring at the ceiling of my bedroom, but I know that it’s long enough for me to be annoyed at the sleep that won’t come. Maybe it’s because I can’t hear Xander snoring or there isn’t a dog trying to starfish in my already limited space.
“Honey, we’re home!”
At first I think I’m hearing things, but then I hear a laugh so loud and ridiculous I know that there’s no way I could imagine that. Henry is a few steps behind me as I make my way down the stairs to the living room. Kris, Mattie and Bobby are dropping pizza boxes and beer bottles onto the kitchen counter by the time I get to the bottom step.
“There he is!” Kris yells excitedly. “The prodigal son returns.”
“I’m too jetlagged to explain to you all the ways you don’t understand what that means,” Mattie says.
“Ignore him,” Bobby says, slapping his palm against mine and pulling me into a hug. “He just likes saying he’s jetlagged so people ask him where he’s been.”
“Can you even get jetlag from three hours?” Henry asks, immediately opening one of the pizza boxes.
“How was Miami?” I ask, accepting the beer Kris hands me.
“Wild, dude.” Mattie hands me his cellphone, showing the three of them outside the Miami branch of The Honeypot. “Next time, you’re both coming.”
“I’m good,” Henry says instantly.
Bobby hands out the pizza boxes as we all congregate around the kitchen island, opening them up. I suppress the urge to groan as I bite into the pepperoni slice, realizing it’s the first thing I’ve eaten today. “What’re you guys doing here anyway?” I ask, washing down the pizza with my beer.
“Hen said you’d turned up and unintentionally edged him,” Kris says instantly.
Henry groans in protest. “I didn’t. It’s in the group chat, did you not see it?”
“No, sorry,” I pull my cellphone out of my pocket, turning my notifications on out of guilt. “I haven’t really been on it since I left.”
“We missed you, buddy,” Mattie adds, “and we’re nosey fuckers. We want to know why you’re back from camp because Turner is too nice to press you for it.”
“But we did miss you,” Bobby adds, “which is more important than whether you got fired or not.”
Henry mutters something under his breath I don’t quite catch. I know I can trust Henry and he’d never share my business. “A drunk driver hit my dad. He’s fine. I was visiting him but I’m going back to camp in the morning.”
I nod through the echo of well wishes, thanking them and saying nothing more about Dad. They might not know exactly what the situation is, but they know there’s something not right with my life outside of college. As much as I love my teammates, I don’t think I’ll ever be in a place to explain how embarrassed and frustrated I feel about the whole situation.
“Does Jenna still work there?” Bobby asks with a weird smirk on his face. “Everyone was obsessed with Jenna.”
“You were obsessed with Jenna,” Kris says through a mouthful of pizza. “He was convinced he’d have a chance as soon as he turned eighteen. We only went for one summer but he talked about her for, like, three years.”
“Yeah, she’s my boss. She’s great, super nice. She kind of hates being in charge of people, so as long as you’re not doing something wrong she stays out of your way.”
“Is she still hot? I don’t know why I’m asking because I know she definitely is,” Bobby says. “Shit, maybe I’ll work there next year.”
“What’s your group like?” Mattie asks, rolling his eyes at Bobby.
“Honestly they’re pretty great. There’s one guy, Clay, he’s a bit of a douche but he isn’t unbearable. Xander, the guy I share a cabin with, is really cool. Maya is great, she’s on one of those Camp America international work things with her friends. She tends to hang out with them when we’re not working, so I don’t know her well yet. Emilia and Aurora are nice.”
“Back up,” Kris says.
“Aurora?” Henry follows. “That girl who left you in the middle of the night?”
I rub the back of my neck to ease the nervous prickling happening as I nod a yes. We need to come up with a new way to identify her because things have changed a lot since she was that Aurora.
Cheering erupts, jumping and hugging, a few high fives as they celebrate
. . . I literally don’t know what they’re celebrating. “What’re you guys doing?”
Mattie is the first to stop jumping. “She’s the F1 girl, right? Can you get us paddock club passes?”
“There’s no way you two have been together for a month and haven’t fucked,” Bobby says expectantly.
“We haven’t.” They all stop celebrating. “They’ve got this no fraternization rule and to be honest I pretty much avoided her the first week. We’re fine now though, we’re friends.”
I have an audience of confused faces staring back at me. They look between themselves, silently nominating a leader, who turns out to be Kris. “You know no one will be sticking to that rule, right? A bunch of twenty- year-olds stuck together for two and a half months with a rule not to do something? Screw that.”
“I wouldn’t last the week,” Mattie mumbles, taking another bite of pizza. Henry scowls at him. “Because you have no respect for authority.” “Let’s see about that, Captain,” Mattie grins.
Henry’s eyes roll, like they do every time his newly appointed title is referenced. “Russ is following the rules.”
“Fuck the rules,” Bobby counters. “We could all die tomorrow.”
“I need the job, guys. Sorry to disappoint. She’s fucking great though, like as a friend. She’s . . . great.”
“Swallowed a whole dictionary,” Mattie laughs, dodging the napkin I throw at him.
I’d need a whole dictionary to describe just how great Aurora is. My mind wanders back to camp and what they’re doing. The kids will have eaten dinner by now; they’re probably drinking hot chocolate by a campfire. Aurora will be complaining her mug isn’t big enough to fit the excessive amount of marshmallows she adds and Xander will be daring her to try and beat her record for the amount she can fit in her mouth.
I wonder if anyone will walk her back to her cabin tonight and if they’ll wait to watch her go in.
Kris downs the rest of his beer, shrugging nonchalantly as he puts it back on the counter. “You won’t be the only guy crushing on another counselor, buddy, and they can’t fire you all.”
IT’S BITTERSWEET LEAVING HOME FOR the second time.
After the guys gave up trying to convince me to start living my life to the max, they moved onto telling us about Miami and all the wild shit they got up to. I stopped after the one beer, but by their fourth, Bobby and Kris were reenacting the moment Mattie was mistaken for a famous movie star and they all ended up in the VIP area with Tristan Harding, the guy from all those romance films Stassie and Lola love.
We reminisced about games from last season, our championship win where I saved the deciding goal and predictions for the new season. When I called it a night, knowing I had to get up earlier, they were genuinely gutted I was leaving again, which made me not want to leave at all.
Mattie and Bobby crashed in Robbie and JJ’s rooms, with Kris losing five consecutive games of Rock, Paper, Scissors in a row and ending up on the couch Henry violated.
They were awake, albeit slightly hungover, before the sun was up to make breakfast and coffee so I could have something decent to eat before getting on the road. Having real friends has shown me I don’t need to quietly blend into the background anymore. Telling my dad exactly how I feel has freed me from whatever has been holding me back this entire time. Don’t get me wrong, nobody changes overnight, but I’m parking up at Honey Acres again feeling like a brand-new guy.
I don’t look like a brand-new guy, though. I hardly slept and it shows on my face. I feel it in my tired body when I move; I’m stiff from so much driving.
Signing back in at the front of the camp, I find Jenna in a meeting, which means I can wave to her through the main office door’s glass panel and don’t have to answer any of her questions. It’s just before lunchtime and I know that Emilia or Aurora will be covering me. As tired as I am, more than anything, I want to take over so they can enjoy the day off I stole from them.
Brown Bears are scheduled for swimming and the lake is right by my cabin, so it gives me chance to put my staff t-shirt on and leave my backpack before taking over.
Walking down toward my room, I spot Aurora coming toward me, looking down at the ground.
“Hey,” I call when we’re six feet from each other.
Her head snaps up, eyes widening as she takes me in. I realize I’m holding my breath, waiting for her to say something back, to give me the smile I’ve become accustomed to seeing when I see her, but it doesn’t come.
“Are you okay?” she asks, hugging her arms around herself.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry you had to cover for me. I’m heading to the lake now so you or Emilia can have your day off back.”
“It’s Emilia, I did yesterday. She won’t let you take over so leave her. We switched dance and swim around because we thought it looked like it was going to rain, but obviously this is California so it’s still hot and dry as hell. You look like you need to sleep.”
“I really am sorry. I’ll cover you so you can have an extra day off or something. I’ll make it up to you.”
“You missed the talent show practice,” she says softly. How disappointed she sounds fucking hurts. Her brows pinch together as she frowns. “I don’t care about covering for you, Russ. You disappeared. Jenna told us you had a personal thing and said it was no big deal. So I don’t get why you didn’t tell me you were leaving.” Her voice cracks. “You just left me. Us. All of us have been worried. Me and Jenna had an argument about it because she kept saying he’s fine and it was pissing me off.”
“Aurora, I’m sorry,” I take a cautious step toward her, then another, until I pull her into a hug. We fit together perfectly like this, with her arms wrapped around me, my head buried in her hair.
“Where were you? What happened?” she mumbles into my chest. “You can tell me.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say honestly. “I’m sorry I missed practice. I’m sorry I made you worried. I won’t do it again, I promise.”
Something in what I said causes her to untangle herself from me and take a step backwards. “It’s fine.”
It isn’t fine and I’m gutted to be on the receiving end of that smile she forces to make people think she isn’t upset by something. I don’t want the wall to go back up between us. The words come tumbling out of my mouth before I really know why. “Tell me a secret.”
Taking in a deep intake of breath, she starts. “I’m sad you left without telling me. Not telling everyone, telling me. I think—thought—I might mean a little more to you than everyone else. That you might trust me the most because we have history, or whatever.”
“You do.”
“I thought about flirting with Clay last night just to feel wanted, how weird is that? I didn’t. I called my mom, I went to bed early and spent all day lurking around Emilia, trying to keep myself out of trouble.”
The idea that disappearing would drive Aurora toward Clay makes me feel like shit. “You’re not weird, Aurora. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. Again.”
“It’s not about me, you’re the one who clearly has stuff going on. I’m just trying not to be the person that acts out because of other people. That’s something I do a lot and I don’t want to. It’s probably the only thing I do better than oversharing,” she presses her lips together as she stares up at me. I wish I could put everything out there like she does, but even after the past twenty-four hours, something is stopping me. She shrugs, arms wrapped around herself, protecting her. “I want to be there for you because I care about you. I feel like I could be a better friend to you if you communicated with me.”
“I made us miscommunicators again.”
She nods. “Kinda. It doesn’t have to mean baring your soul, Russ. We’re getting to know each other; you’re allowed to have boundaries and things
you keep for yourself. Some people are good at sharing, some people aren’t. We just have to find middle ground.”
“I’m really sorry I missed practice. I know how important the talent show is to you and I wouldn’t have missed it if I’d had a choice.”
Aurora unfolds her arms, her posture relaxing the longer we stand near each other. “It’s okay. There will be a dozen more. Emilia and Xander were very intense.”
I notice the backpack on her shoulder. “Were you going somewhere?
Before you saw me?”
“I was going on a hike to this place I love, but I wasn’t sure about the weather, so I was going to find my rain coat. I’m not even sure there’s ever going to be rain, I think Xander might have made it up because he didn’t want to swim.”
“Can I come? I’m not going to be able to relax, so there’s no point me trying. I’m okay with getting caught in the rain.”
She smiles and the relief floods me. “If we get caught in the rain, we’ll just enjoy the rainbow.”
