… I’m sorry I haven’t written. No, that’s not true. I’m not sorry. I don’t wish to write. I don’t wish to think of—
—-from the Countess of Kilmartin to the new Earl of Kilmartin, one day after the receipt of his first missive to her, torn to bits, then soaked with tears
By the time Michael arose the next morning, Kilmartin House seemed to be back up and running as befitted the home of an earl. There were fires in every grate, and a splendid breakfast had been laid out in the informal dining room, with coddled eggs, ham, bacon, sausage, toast with butter and marmalade, and his own personal favorite, broiled mackerel.
Francesca, however, was nowhere to be found.
When he inquired after her, he was given a folded note she’d left for him earlier that morning. It seemed she felt that tongues might wag at their living alone together at Kilmartin House, and so she had removed herself to her mother’s residence at Number Five, Bruton Street, until either Janet or
Helen arrived down from Scotland. She did, however, invite him to call upon her that day, as she was certain they had much to discuss.
And Michael supposed she was right, so once he’d finished with his breakfast (finding, much to his great surprise, that he rather missed the yogurts and dosas of his Indian morning meal), he stepped outside and made his way to Number Five.
He elected to walk; it wasn’t very far, and the air had warmed appreciably since the icy gusts of the day before. But mostly, he just wanted to take in the cityscape, to remind himself of the rhythms of London. He’d never noticed the particular smells and sounds of the capital before, how the clip- clop of horses’ hooves combined with the festive shout of the flower seller and low rumble of cultured voices. There was the sound of his feet on the pavement, and smell of roasting nuts, and the vague heft of soot in the air, all combining to make something that was uniquely London.
It was almost overpowering, which was strange, because he remembered feeling precisely the same way upon landing in India four years earlier. The humid air, redolent with spice and flowers, had shocked his every sense. It had felt almost like an assault, leaving him drowsy and disoriented. And while his reaction to London wasn’t quite that dramatic, he still felt rather like the odd man out, his senses buffeted by smells and sounds that shouldn’t have felt so unfamiliar.
Had he become a stranger in his own land? It seemed almost bizarre, and yet, as he walked along the crowded streets of London’s most exclusive shopping district, he couldn’t help but think that he stood out, that anyone glancing upon him must instantly know that he was dif-ferent, removed from their very British existence.
Or, he allowed, as he caught sight of his reflection in a shop window, it could be the tan.
It would take weeks to fade. Months, maybe. His mother was going to be scandalized.
The thought of it made him grin. He rather enjoyed scandalizing his mother. He’d never be so grown up that that ceased to be fun.
He turned on Bruton Street and walked past the last few homes to Number Five. He’d been there before, of course. Francesca’s mother had always defined the word “family” in the widest of all possible manners, so Michael had found himself invited along with John and Francesca to any number of Bridgerton family events.
When he arrived, Lady Bridgerton was already in the green-and-cream drawing room, taking a cup of tea at her writing desk under the window. “Michael!” she exclaimed, rising to her feet with obvious affection. “How good to see you!”
“Lady Bridgerton,” he said, taking her hand and gracing it with a gallant kiss.
“No one does that like you,” she said approvingly.
“One has to cultivate one’s best maneuvers,” he murmured.
“And I can’t tell you how much we ladies of a certain age appreciate your doing so.”
“A certain age being…” He smiled devilishly. “… one and thirty?”
Lady Bridgerton was the sort of woman who grew lovelier with age, but the smile she gave him made her positively radiant. “You are always welcome in this house, Michael Stirling.”
He grinned and sat in a high-backed chair when she motioned for him to do so.
“Oh, dear,” she said with a slight frown. “I must apologize. I suppose I should be calling you Kilmartin now.”
“ ‘Michael’ is just fine,” he assured her.
“I know that it’s been four years,” she continued, “but as I haven’t seen you…”
“You may call me anything you wish,” he said smoothly. It was strange. He’d finally grown used to being called Kilmartin, adapted to the way his title had overtaken his surname. But that had been in India, where no one had known him as plain Mr. Stirling, and perhaps more importantly, no one had known John as the earl. Hearing his title on Violet Bridgerton’s lips was a little unnerving, especially since she had, as was the custom for many mothers-in-law, habitually referred to John as her son.
But if she sensed any of his inner discomfort, she gave no indication. “If you are going to be so accommodating,” she said, “then I must be as well. Please do call me Violet. It’s well past time that you did.”
“Oh, I couldn’t,” he said quickly. And he meant it. This was Lady Bridgerton. She was… Well, he didn’t know what she was, but she couldn’t possibly be Violet to him.
“I insist, Michael,” she said, “and I’m certain you’re already aware that I usually get my way.”
There was no way he was going to win the argument, so he just sighed and said, “I don’t know if I can kiss the hand of a Violet. It seems rather scandalously intimate, don’t you think?”
“Don’t you dare stop.”
‘Tongues will wag,“ he warned her.
“I believe my reputation can withstand it.” “Ah, but can mine?”
She laughed. “You are a rascal.”
He leaned back in his chair. “It serves me well.”
“Would you care for tea?” She motioned to the delicate china pot on the desk across the room. “Mine has gone cold, but I would be happy to ring for more.”
“I’d love some,” he admitted.
“I suppose you’re spoiled for it now, after so many years in India,” she said, standing and crossing the room to ring the bellpull.
“It’s just not the same,” he said, quickly rising to his feet as well. “I can’t explain it, but nothing tastes quite like tea in England.”
“The quality of the water, do you think?”
He smiled stealthily. “The quality of the woman pouring.” She laughed. “You, my lord, need a wife. Immediately.” “Oh, really? And why is that?”
“Because in your present state, you are clearly a danger to unmarried women everywhere.”
He couldn’t resist one last flirtation. “I hope you are including yourself in those ranks, Violet.”
And then a voice from the door: “Are you flirting with my mother?”
It was Francesca, of course, impeccably turned out in a lavender morning dress adorned with a rather intricate stretch of Belgian lace. She looked as if she were very much trying to be stern with him.
And not entirely succeeding.
Michael allowed his lips to curve into a mysterious smile as he watched the two ladies take their seats. “I have traveled the world over, Francesca, and can say without qualification that there are few women with whom I’d rather flirt than your mother.”
“I am inviting you to supper right now,” Violet announced, “and I will not accept no for an answer.”
Michael chuckled. “I’d be honored.”
Across from him, Francesca murmured, “You are incorrigible.”
He just flashed her a lanky grin. This was good, he decided. The morning was proceeding exactly as he’d hoped, with he and Francesca falling into their old roles and habits. He was once again the reckless charmer and she was pretending to scold him, and all was as it had been back before John had died.
He’d been surprised last night. He hadn’t expected to see her. And he hadn’t been able to make sure that his public persona was firmly in place.
And it wasn’t as if it all was an act. He’d always been a bit reckless, and he probably was an irredeemable flirt. His mother certainly liked to say that he’d been charming the ladies since the age of four.
It was just that when he was with Francesca it was vitally important that that aspect of his personality remained at the forefront, so that she never suspected what lay underneath.
“What are your plans now that you are returned?” Violet asked.
Michael turned to her with what he knew had to be a blank expression. “I’m not certain, actually,” he said, ashamed to admit to himself that that was true. “I imagine it will take me some time to understand just what exactly is expected of me in my new role.”
“I’m sure Francesca can be of help in that quarter,” Violet said. “Only if she wishes it,” Michael said quietly.
“Of course,” Francesca said, moving slightly to the side when a maid came in with a tea tray. “I will assist you in any way you need.”
“That was rather quick,” Michael murmured.
“I’m mad for tea,” Violet explained. “Drink it all day long. The maids keep water to near boiling on the stove at all times now.”
“Will you have some?” Francesca asked, since she had taken charge of pouring.
“Yes, thank you,” Michael replied.
“No one knows Kilmartin as Francesca does,” Violet said, with all the pride of a mother hen. “She will prove invaluable to you.”
“I am quite sure that you are correct,” Michael said, accepting a cup from Francesca. She had remembered how he took it—milk, no sugar. For some reason this pleased him immensely. “She has been the countess for six years, and for four of them, she has had to be the earl as well.” At Francesca’s startled glance, he added, “In every way but in name. Oh, come now, Francesca, you must realize that it is true.”
“And,” he added, “that it is a compliment. I owe you a greater debt than I could ever repay. I could not have stayed away so long had I not known that the earldom was in such capable hands.”
Francesca actually blushed, which surprised him. In all the years he’d known her, he could count on one hand the times he had seen her cheeks go pink.
“Thank you,” she mumbled. “It was no difficulty, I assure you.”
“Perhaps, but it is appreciated all the same.” He lifted his teacup to his lips, allowing the ladies to direct the conversation from there.
Which they did. Violet asked him about his time in India, and before he knew it he was telling them of palaces and princesses, caravans and curries. He left out the marauders and malaria, deciding they weren’t quite the thing for a drawing-room conversation.
After a while he realized that he was enjoying himseli immensely. Maybe, he thought, reflecting on the moment as Violet said something about an
Indian-themed ball she’d attended the year before, just maybe he’d made the right decision.
It might actually be good to be home.
An hour later, Francesca found herself on Michael’s arm, strolling through Hyde Park. The sun had broken through the clouds, and when she had declared that she could not resist the fine weather, Michael had had no choice but to offer to accompany her for a walk.
“It’s rather like old times,” she said, tilting her face up toward the sun. She’d most likely end up with a ghastly tan, or at the very least freckles, but she supposed she’d always look like pale porcelain next to Michael, whose skin marked him immediately as a recent returnee from the tropics.
“Walking, you mean?” he asked. “Or your expertly maneuvering me into accompanying you?”
She tried to maintain a straight face. “Both, of course. You used to take me out a great deal. Whenever John was busy.”
“So I did.”
They walked on in silence for a few moments, and then he said, “I was a bit surprised to find you gone this morning.”
“I hope you understand why I had to leave,” she said. “I didn’t want to, of course; returning to my mother’s home makes me feel as if I’m stepping right back into childhood.” She felt her lips pinching together in distaste. “I adore her, of course, but I’ve grown rather used to maintaining my own household.”
“Would you like me to take up residence elsewhere?”
“No, of course not,” she said quickly. “You are the earl. Kilmartin House belongs to you. Besides, Helen and
Janet are only a week behind me; they should arrive soon, and then I will be able to move back in.“
“Chin up, Francesca. I’m sure you will endure.”
She shot him a sideways glance. “It is nothing that you—or any man, for that matter—will understand, but I much prefer my status as a married woman to that of a debutante. When I’m at Number Five, with both Eloise and Hyacinth in residence, I feel as if I’m back in my first season, with all the attendant rules and regulations.”
“Not all of them,” he pointed out. “If that were true, you’d not be allowed out with me right now.”
‘True,“ she acceded. ”Especially with you, I imagine.“ “And just what is that supposed to mean?”
She laughed. “Oh, come now, Michael. Did you really think that your reputation would find itself whitewashed just because you left the country for four years?”
“Francesca—” “You’re a legend” He looked aghast.
“It’s true,” she said, wondering why he was so surprised. “Goodness, women are still talking about you.”
“Not to you, I hope,” he muttered.
“Oh, to me above all others.” She grinned wickedly. “They all want to know when you plan to return. And it’s sure to be worse once word gets out that you’re back. I must say, it’s rather an odd role—confidante to London’s most notorious rake.”
“Confidante, eh?”
“What else would you call it?”
“No, no, confidante is a perfectly appropriate word. It’s just that if you think I’ve confided everything in you…”
Francesca shot him a cross expression. This was so like him, letting his words trail off meaningfully, leaving her imagination feverish with questions. “I take it then,” she muttered, “that you did not share with us all the news from India.”
He just smiled. Devilishly.
“Very well. Allow me, then, to move the conversation to more respectable areas. What do you plan to do now that you are back? Will you take up your seat in Parliament?”
He appeared not to have considered that.
“It is what John would have wanted,” she said, knowing that she was being fiendishly manipulative.
Michael looked at her grimly, and his eyes told her that he did not appreciate her tactics.
“You will have to marry as well,” Francesca said.
“Do you plan to take on the role of my matchmaker?” he asked peevishly.
She shrugged. “If you desire it. I’m sure I couldn’t possibly do a worse job of it than you.”
“Good God,” he grumbled, “I’ve been back one day. Do we need to address this now?”
“No, of course not,” she allowed. “But soon. You’re not getting any younger.”
Michael just stared at her in shock. “I can’t imagine permitting anyone else to speak to me in such a manner.”
“Don’t forget your mother,” she said with a satisfied smile.
“You,” he said rather forcefully, “are not my mother.”
“Thank heavens for that,” she returned. “I’d have expired of heart failure years ago. I don’t know how she does it.”
He actually halted in his tracks. “I’m not that bad.” She shrugged delicately. “Aren’t you?”
And he was speechless. Absolutely speechless. It was a conversation they’d had countless times, but something was different now. There was an edge to her voice, a jab to her words that had never quite been there before.
Or maybe it was just that he’d never noticed it.
“Oh, don’t look so shocked, Michael,” she said, reaching across her body and patting him lightly on the arm. “Of course you have a terrible reputation. But you are endlessly charming, and so you are always forgiven.”
Was this how she saw him, he wondered. And why was he surprised? It was exactly the image he’d cultivated.
“And now that you are the earl,” she continued, “the mamas shall be falling all over themselves to pair you with their precious daughters.”
“I feel afraid,” he said under his breath. “Very afraid.”
“You should,” she said, with no sympathy whatsoever. “It will be a feeding frenzy, I assure you. You are fortunate that I took my mother aside this morning and made her swear not to throw Eloise or Hyacinth in your path. She would do it, too,” she added, clearly relishing the conversation.
“I seem to recall that you used to find joy in throwing your sisters in my path.”
Her lips twisted slightly. “That was years ago,” she said, swishing her hand through the air as if she could wave his words away on the wind. “You would never suit.”
He’d never had any desire to court either of her sisters, but nor could he resist the chance to give Francesca a wee verbal poke. “Eloise,” he queried, “or Hyacinth?”
“Neither,” she replied, with enough testiness to make him smile. “But I shall find you someone, do not fret.”
“Was I fretting?”
She went on as if he hadn’t spoken. “I think I shall introduce you to Eloise’s friend Penelope.”
“Miss Featherington?” he asked, vaguely recalling a slightly pudgy girl who never spoke.
“She’s my friend as well, of course,” Francesca added. “I believe you might like her.”
“Has she learned to speak?”
She glared at him. “I’m going to ignore that comment. Penelope is a perfectly lovely and highly intelligent lady once one gets past her initial shyness.”
“And how long does that take?” he muttered.
“I think she would balance you quite nicely,” Francesca declared.
“Francesca,” he said, somewhat forcefully, “you will not play matchmaker for me. Is that understood?”
“Well, some—”
“And don’t you say that someone has to,” he cut in. Really, she was the same open book she’d been years ago. She’d always wanted to manage his life.
“Michael,” she said, the word coming out as a sigh that was far more long- suffering than she had a right to be.
“I have been back in town for one day,” he said. “One day. I am tired, and I don’t care if the sun is out—I’m still bloody cold, and my belongings haven’t even been unpacked. Pray give me at least a week before you start planning my wedding.”
“A week, then?” she said slyly.
“Francesca,” he said, his voice laced with warning.
“Very well,” she said dismissively. “But don’t you dare say I didn’t warn you. Once you are out in society, and the young ladies have you backed into a corner with their mamas coming in for the kill—”
He shuddered at the image. And at the knowledge that her prediction was probably correct.
“—you will be begging for my help,” she finished, looking up at him with a rather annoyingly satisfied expression.
“I’m sure I will,” he said, giving her a paternalistic smile that he knew she’d detest. “And when that happens, I promise you that I shall be duly prostrate with regretful-ness, atonement, shamefacedness, and any other unpleasant emotion you care to assign to me.”
And then she laughed, which wanned his heart far more than he should have let it. He could always make her laugh.
She turned to him and smiled, then patted his arm. “It’s good to have you back.”
“It’s good to be back,” he said. He’d said the words automatically, but he realized he’d meant them. It was good. Difficult, but good. But even difficult wasn’t worth complaining over. It was certainly nothing he wasn’t used to.
They were fairly deep in Hyde Park now, and the grounds were growing a bit more crowded. The trees were only just beginning to bud, but the air
was still nippy enough that the people out strolling weren’t looking for shade.
“I should have brought bread for the birds,” Francesca murmured.
“At the Serpentine?” Michael asked with surprise. He’d often walked in Hyde Park with Francesca, and they had tended to avoid that area of the Serpentine’s banks like the plague. It was always full of nursemaids and children, shrieking like little savages (often the nursemaids more so than the children) and Michael had at least one acquaintance who had found himself pelted in the head with a loaf of bread.
Seems no one had told the budding little cricket player that one was supposed to break the bread into more manageable—and less hazardous— segments.
“I like to toss bread in for the birds,” Francesca said, a touch defensively. “Besides, there won’t be too many children about today. It’s still a bit cold yet.”
“Never stopped John and me,” Michael offered gamely.
“Yes, well, you’re Scottish,” she returned. “Your blood circulates quite well half frozen.”
He grinned. “A hearty lot, we Scots.” It was a bit of a joke, that. With so much intermarriage, the family was at least as much English as it was Scottish, perhaps even more so, but with Kilmartin firmly situated in the border counties, the Stirlings clung to their Scottish heritage like a badge of honor.
They found a bench not too far from the Serpentine and sat, idly watching the ducks on the water.
“You’d think they’d find a warmer spot,” Michael said. “France, maybe.”
“And miss out on all the food the children toss at them?” Francesca smiled wryly. “They’re not stupid.”
He just shrugged. Far be it from him to pretend any great knowledge of avian behavior.
“How did you find the climate in India?” Francesca queried. “Is it as hot as they say?”
“More so,” he replied. “Or maybe not. I don’t know. I imagine the descriptions are perfectly accurate. The problem is, no Englishman can truly understand what they mean until he gets there.”
She looked at him quizzically.
“It’s hotter than you could ever imagine,” he said, spelling it out. “It sounds… Well, I don’t know how it sounds,” she admitted. “The heat isn’t nearly so difficult as the insects.”
“It sounds dreadful,” Francesca decided.
“You probably wouldn’t like it. Not for an extended stay, anyway.” “I’d like to travel, though,” she said softly. “I’d always planned to.”
She fell silent, nodding in a rather absentminded manner, her chin tilting up and down for so long that he was quite sure she’d forgotten she was doing it. Then he realized that her eyes were fixed off in the distance. She was watching something, but for the life of him he couldn’t imagine what. There was nothing interesting in the vista, just a pinchfaced nursemaid pushing a pram.
“What are you looking at?” he finally asked. She said nothing, just continued to stare. “Francesca?”
She turned to him. “I want a baby.”
