We caught up to Melian and Beck at the end of the tunnel, finding them waiting in the tree line just beyond the secret entrance to
the city. “Jensen?” she asked, but from the dejected look on her face, she already knew what had happened to the other man.
Though I suspected Caelum would be dead if she knew he’d allowed it willingly. My head swam with the implications that he might have allowed another man to die, simply because he’d crossed a boundary with me. Still, I couldn’t begin to confront my relief at having Caelum at my side, even if he was stained by the blood of those he’d killed. But the comprehension of what he’d done lingered just out of reach, as if I was in shock, waiting for reality to sink in and swallow me whole.
We walked for an hour after leaving the escape tunnel, going further into the woods and leaving the city behind us as we searched for a safe place to sleep. There were no caves to keep us warm here, only the barren fields and wooded lands of the Isle of Ruin to harbor us.
“We need to rest,” Melian said, kicking the snow away from a clear spot tucked beneath one of the larger trees. Beck sat against the trunk, leaving Melian to lower herself to the ground between his spread legs and lean her back into his chest. I went silent for a moment as I curiously watched the practiced, intimate moment between the two of them.
“We should go back,” Beck said, disrupting the silence as Caelum cleared another spot of snow and sat down the same way Beck had. He grabbed me around the waist, pulling me down so that I nestled into the
cradle of his embrace. The warmth of his body sank into me, heating the parts of me that I wasn’t certain would ever get warm again.
I wished I’d let him convince me to go back to the caverns, to turn a blind eye to those hiding in Calfalls and suffering.
“We’ve made it this far. We have to get to the people in Calfalls,” Melian said, glancing in the opposite direction of home. “Perhaps Beck should return the long way around the city and warn the others to go on guard, so no one leaves the tunnels except for an emergency. If the Fae have already infiltrated the cities this far North, nowhere is safe.”
“I won’t leave you out here unguarded,” Beck said, curling his arm tighter around her waist. There was something between them that went beyond a casual liaison, but I’d also seen hints of a similar relationship between Melian and Duncan.
Everything was different in the Resistance.
Melian sighed but nodded, accepting that he wouldn’t willingly leave her side; not when the Fae were everywhere.
“Have you ever seen the Ruined City, Estrella?” Melian asked.
“No” Shaking my head, I felt certain she already knew the answer. I didn’t think there were many people alive who’d seen Calfalls for themselves. It wasn’t often that people went to the city that was abandoned and destroyed.
“All of us should see it once in our lifetime. We should bear witness to the destruction the Fae wrought during the last war, so that we can truly understand what is at stake now. You both need to understand that there are greater concerns than whatever it is that’s between you,” she said, turning to Beck and nodding at him in confirmation.
“Why are they in the Ruined City?” I asked. The place that was devoid of all life seemed like an odd choice for a colony of living, breathing people.
“Nobody thinks to look there,” she said, dropping her head. “But if the Fae are willing to infiltrate cities filled with the Mist Guard, nowhere is safe.”
I rested my head on Caelum’s shoulder as dread crept through me. We’d reached another catalyst, our safety torn from our grasp. There was only so much instability I could stomach. Only so much I could tolerate as my eyes drifted closed.
I breathed in Caelum’s scent of winter, the hum of his Fae Mark floating between us on a breath of wintergreen. The knowledge that he belonged to another—he’d never truly be mine if the Fae came for us—writhed between us as I clung to him more tightly while the others fell asleep.
Caelum took the first watch, cradling my head gently as he coaxed me to sleep with gentle fingers and murmured promises. My eyes fluttered open for a brief moment, finding his dark eyes staring down at me as if nothing else in his world mattered.
“If you keep searching for answers, my star, it’s likely you’ll find them,” he murmured as my eyes closed for the final time.
Sleep claimed me, those ominous words and the warning held in them carrying me into the depths of dreams better left untouched. I dreamt of the monsters of Faerie, of the beasts beyond the Veil crossing over the mist and making their new homes in the human realm. I dreamt of ruin, of Brann’s ashes in the wind, and the hulking form of a Fae male making his way toward me as he laid waste to the world.
I thrashed in my sleep, rolling from side to side until the cold press of dirt against my cheek jolted me awake. Caelum was gone from beneath me, the warmth of his body missing from my sleeping place. I pushed myself upright, peering into the darkness around me and counting the sleeping bodies of my companions surrounding the fire.
Melian. Beck. But no Caelum.
Rising to my feet, I looked around the wooded area where we’d made our camp for the night. The cold air kissed my cheek as I stepped out of the alcove of trees and onto the snow-covered grass beside them. Careful not to wake the others, I ventured farther into the woods in search of the man who’d left my side in the middle of the night.
“Caelum?” I called, my voice as loud as I dared in the quiet of the forest. Fear that something might have happened to him consumed me, and my hands trembled where I shoved them into the pockets sewn into my cloak. I spun, looking around the path for any signs of the man I so desperately needed to find. I’d never forgive myself if something had happened to him while I slept.
We were supposed to go together, despite my hesitation in trusting him. I couldn’t give myself to him wholeheartedly, not with whatever he didn’t want me to know looming between us, but I couldn’t let him go, either.
A figure stepped out from between the trees, shadows clinging to him like a second skin. He emerged into the clearing in front of me, the moon above chasing away the darkness until only Caelum remained.
He stared down at me, his chin tucked into his chest slightly and his eyes lighter than normal for a moment. “There you are,” I said, a semi- relieved sigh escaping me. He was alive. He was safe.
Even if he was fucking terrifying.
“Is everything alright?” I asked, tipping my head to the side as I smiled up at him innocently, as though I couldn’t sense the monster lurking beneath his skin’s surface: the beast the mate bond wanted to turn him into.
But I knew the man he really was. I knew how gentle he could be when he rocked himself into me, and how sweetly he caressed my skin when he thought I was sleeping, as if he couldn’t quite convince himself I was real.
And I was his.
“You should be sleeping,” he said, his deep voice rolling between us as he took a step toward me.
“So should you,” I remarked. I suspected we’d passed the time when it was supposed to be Beck’s turn to take watch, and yet the other man slept while Caelum stalked through the woods alone. “What are you doing?”
“Always so inquisitive,” he answered, tucking his fingers beneath my chin. “Are you ready for the answers to those questions yet, my star?”
“I don’t know,” I murmured, the words coming out far more hushed than I’d intended. I didn’t know how to cope with the man in front of me; the monster staring down at me like I’d hung the moon in his sky of shadows and he intended to devour me whole.
He grabbed my hand from my side, lifting it to rest against his chest, just over his heart. He hummed, the sound rumbling against my hand as he regarded me. “Why don’t I make you forget all about those questions dancing in your pretty little head, then?” he asked, laying out his cloak and drawing me down to the snow-covered ground with him. I followed, knowing I would follow him anywhere when he looked at me in that way.
He laid me down on top of his cloak, then unknotted the laces of my trousers, tugging them over my hips so that the cold air made me wince. He smiled, stripping them off my legs and depositing my boots along with them. Spreading my legs wide while I stared up at him in shock, he settled himself between my hips.
“Have you healed yet, Little One? Because I’m going to break you again,” he murmured, reaching down to unknot his own laces. The head of his cock dragged against me, bumping against my clit repeatedly and sending a jolt of pleasure through me.
Caelum terrified me, but I wanted him all the same.
Pushing inside of me slowly and spreading me open to his assault, he groaned the moment he filled me, his balls resting against my ass and his body leaning over mine. Cradling me in his grip, he slid an arm beneath my shoulders as he set a slow, hard pace.
Each drag of his cock through me echoed in my soul, drawing a pleasured whimper from my chest. “What will it take, Little One?” he asked, his glittering stare intent on mine. He held me captive, the intensity of the expression on his face making my lungs cease to function.
“What will what take?” I asked, wrapping my hands around to his back. My nails dug into his shirt, pleasure spreading through me with his possession.
“What will it take for you to admit that you are just as fucking in love with me as I am with you? For you to admit that your heart beats in tandem with mine?” he asked, touching his hand to the spot where my heart pounded in my chest.
He held me still, sinking his fingers into my skin until I knew they would bruise.
“Caelum,” I gasped, squeezing my eyes shut against his words. I didn’t want to give them, didn’t want to concede this last part of me.
What would happen when he owned it, too?
“Say it, my star,” he ordered, touching a finger to my clit. He circled it carefully, never giving me enough to send me spiraling into an orgasm, but driving me mad as he made deep, slow thrusts with his hips to work himself in and out of me.
Every ridge of his cock dragged through my flesh, every press of him against that elusive spot inside drove me wild. He lifted his other hand off my chest, pressing down on my lower stomach and sending the ache inside of me running rampant. “Gods,” I groaned.
“I’m your God,” he said with a smirk, mischief dancing across his face. “Now tell me you fucking love me.”
“I love you,” I sobbed, the words torn from a place inside me I hadn’t known existed. Like they’d always been meant to hang between us, out in
the open for the world to know.
“I know you do, Little One,” he said gently, sympathy filling his gaze as he worked my clit harder and drove into me faster. “Now you come for your God.”
I saw stars, my vision filling with the blackness of night as my body followed his command. He owned it in that moment. My body. My heart.
Me.
He warmed me from the inside as he followed after me, murmuring sweet nothings in my ear as his chest dropped to mine and he covered me with his weight.
Horror filled me immediately, a reminder of everything I hadn’t meant to voice. He was gentle as he pulled free from my battered pussy, staring at the space between my legs where cum slid free and coated my thighs.
He dropped his hand to it, gathering it with two fingers and pressing it back inside of me with a victorious look on his face. I swallowed with a shudder, the monster in his gaze so close to the surface that I thought I might be facing my end.
But he helped me into my pants and boots, guiding me back to where Melian and Beck continued to sleep, as though he hadn’t turned my entire world upside down yet again.
He lay with his back against the tree, nestling me against him so that his breath tickled my neck.
I never fell back asleep, too busy staring into the shadows around us, waiting for the evil I could feel circling to find me.
