I backed off the bedroll. Sleep evaded me, driving me to shove my feet into my boots and wrap the spare blanket around my shoulders.
The dress the woman from the baths had sent was more revealing than I was used to, designed for the humid temperatures within the caves. Thin straps hung off my shoulders, leaving my arms and a line of cleavage revealed.
It wouldn’t have bothered me under normal circumstances, but I still struggled to cope with the feeling of eyes on me while Caelum had pushed me up onto the ledge for everyone to see. I’d agreed to it, been turned on by it, but the shyness that came in the aftermath was very real.
I pulled back the curtain that gave our room a hint of privacy, but had done nothing to keep in the noises when Caelum woke me in the middle of the night, pressing his cock between my legs and murmuring in my ear.
I didn’t have much experience, but I wasn’t certain that his level of insatiability was normal. Combining that with his almost feral nature after his fight with the cave beast left me curious about the ways being marked by the Fae could change us.
Did we become more like them in ways other than just our strength? Our healing? The frenzy that drove him to spend every moment inside of me?
I walked through the tunnels, grabbing a torch from the commons and lighting it on my way to the library that consumed so much of my waking
time. The books, even while they hurt my hand, had become a welcome respite.
Knowledge was power, and I wanted to have every opportunity to fight. I trained with Melian and the other fighters in the mornings, but Caelum was very rarely an active part of that. After he’d survived a cave beast, there could be no doubt that he’d pulled his punches where I was concerned, just as Melian had said.
It touched me and made me angry all at once, but he hadn’t hesitated to unleash his violence on me during sex. To claim me so fully I could still feel the ache of him inside me hours later.
I entered the library, setting my torch on the wall next to the table where I worked. The book I’d been translating the day before sat open where I’d left it when Caelum and I hurried out of the room after the altercation with Jensen.
I didn’t know what I wanted to research or where to even begin, but nausea churned in my gut, telling me there was something wrong. I moved to the shelves, running my fingers along the spines and waiting for one to jump out at me. It was how I’d chosen the first books I translated, randomly diving into them one at a time.
A less-weathered book called my attention, beckoning me to pull it off the shelf. I stared down at the name on the front, the words written in the New Tongue.
A Historical Account of the Creation of the Veil.
It wasn’t the same text I’d seen in Lord Byron’s library; this one was far older. I flipped to the front page of the handwritten tome, skimming through the words in an effort to convince myself that this was simply the original version of what had become common knowledge.
When I delved into it, though, the tale this book painted of the witches who’d formed the Veil was vastly different from the one I’d learned as a child. I’d always been told the witches sacrificed their lives to form the Veil so they could protect humanity from the Fae, who slaughtered us in droves.
This told the story of the witches who were neutral to the war between the Fae and the humans, indifferent to either race in their quest to maintain the balance of the world. It told of the curse they’d placed upon the Fae centuries before the Veil, dooming them to having their souls split upon birth. The mirror of themselves would exist inside another person, most
often a human, so the Fae would have a reason to stop the enslavement and torment of the humans of the Kingdom of Nothrek.
Children outside of that relationship were an impossibility, further limiting their opportunity to grow their numbers. Birth within the relationship was rare itself, a natural characteristic of their race.
But one line of witches was tied to the land of Faerie, their magic drawn from the soil itself and the elements of nature around them. Those were the witches who’d cast the curse upon the Fae in name of the Primordial of Nature. They had died out quickly after they erected the Veil, because their magic faded without the connection to the land of Alfheimr.
It left me with one single question, something that I couldn’t reconcile and just didn’t make sense.
Why would that line of witches have formed the Veil at all, knowing they would be trapped on the opposite side from their magic? The book recorded it as a great sacrifice they’d made to protect something they’d stolen from the Court of Shadows. But it made no mention of what it was they’d stolen, or why a neutral party would care so much for the object.
The story I’d always known was that the witches had sided with the humans in the war and sacrificed themselves to form the Veil so that we could have a chance to survive the Fae beasts who wanted to kill us. I’d seen horrific photos of them in the history books as a child, but none of the drawings in the Book of the Gods even remotely resembled the horrors in those books.
The Fae in the Book of the Gods were breathtakingly beautiful. They were ethereal and magnetic. They were everything the monsters were not.
A thought danced just out of my reach, a nagging image that I couldn’t capture tickling at my mind.
A memory from my childhood. A moment of teeth on my skin.
“What are you hoping to find in these dusty old books?” Caelum asked, making me spin to face him.
I pressed a hand to my chest as I startled. “You scared me.”
He tilted his head to the side, coming into the space and stopping beside my chair. Touching the backs of his fingers to my cheek, he searched my face for a moment before he smiled. “You scared me when you were gone from our bed.”
The knowledge that the bed that was ours, after our irrevocable claiming of it, washed over me and filled me with warmth despite the chill
to my skin.
“I couldn’t sleep,” I admitted, shifting my legs. I couldn’t bring myself to admit that I felt there was something off about us and our relationship; something nagging at me that I couldn’t explain. “I may not be able to fight a cave beast like you, but knowledge is power. Maybe if I know more about what I’m up against, I’ll be able to protect myself better.”
“That’s why you have me,” he said, running a thumb over my bottom lip, then, “I was too rough with you.” He cast a pointed glance down to my lap where I couldn’t seem to stay still.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. He lifted a skeptical brow. “Maybe a little, but you did warn me.”
“I did, but fucking you two more times in the night was unkind to your poor pussy,” he said, using that thumb to drag my lip to the side. “I can’t seem to get enough of you. Sometimes I forget how new you are to taking my cock, my star.” I swallowed, my mouth opening to speak. The tip of his thumb sank inside, pressing down on my tongue pointedly. “I’ll have to make use of this part of you as well. Will you wrap your lips around my cock for me while I torment your pussy? Will you sit on my face and suck me off when you just can’t take me in your cunt anymore?”
“Gods, the things you say,” I said, pulling my head back from his thumb. He smirked down at me, enjoying the flush that stained my cheeks.
“I want to worship you like you’re my Goddess. I want to spend my days between your legs, making you come so many times you can’t stand up when I’m through with you,” he murmured, that smirk transforming into a full-blown smile as he stared down at me. “But I want to fuck your mouth and shove my cock down your throat, too.” He shrugged, as if the filthy talk was just a part of who he was and I needed to get used to it.
I’d thought he tormented me and teased me before he’d ever touched me, but I was quickly learning that his innuendos had been vague and nothing compared to the things he said while I writhed beneath him on our bed.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Melian said from the doorway, suppressing a smile as she stepped into the space.
Caelum hung his head, muttering as he dropped his hand to his side and his mouth twisted into a pout. “No, you’re not,” he grunted.
“I’m pleased to see you making good use of the books, Estrella. It’s very helpful for future generations,” she said, smiling at me briefly before
she turned her attention to Caelum. “But I’m actually looking for you, for once.”
The two of them clearly still disliked each other. I rolled my eyes, turning my attention back to my book.
“What do you need?” Caelum asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Despite my presence in the library, it was the middle of the night. I doubted she would have hunted him down for anything that wasn’t important, and Caelum seemed to reach the same conclusion.
“We received word of a group of Fae Marked hiding in Calfalls. I’m leading a team to retrieve them at first light. We could use your skill with a sword in case we run into trouble,” Melian said, nodding her head at Caelum. The uneasy alliance between them was based entirely on his skill and the abilities he had that might make her team more likely to survive.
“I’ll go,” he said, turning to me. “You will stay here and stay out of trouble.”
“Like fuck I will,” I snapped, standing from the chair. “You promised that we would stay together. You can’t spew those words at me when it’s convenient and then keep me tucked away like a fragile princess when it suits you. We’re either together in all things, or we’re not, Caelum. Which one is it going to be?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.
“You’re safer here. What if the Mist Guard caught you in irons?” Caelum asked, staring down at me as if he could compel me to see reason. To just listen.
Fuck that.
“And what if they catch you? We go together, or we aren’t together at all,” I said, letting the words hang between us.
He didn’t miss the meaning, all too aware of the fact that he’d be leaving me in a bunker full of men. “Fine,” he growled finally, clenching his jaw. “But you do what I say.”
“Good luck with that,” I said, smiling at him as I patted his arm and made for the door. Melian chuckled as I moved past her, her amusement bringing a smile to my face that I didn’t allow Caelum to see.
If we were leaving at first light, I needed to get some sleep.
 |
M
elian came for me as promised. The tunnels made it impossible to tell what was morning and what was the dead of night, always
bathed in darkness and cloaked in the shadows thrown by the torches twinkling on the wall. The other fighters had swept Caelum off much the same way, taking him to the armory to equip him for the rescue mission I suspected none of us were prepared for.
I’d heard whispers in passing of other missions to rescue Fae Marked, who were in danger of either discovery by the Mist Guard or the Wild Hunt tracking down the mates to bring back to Alfheimr.
She brought me to her private rooms, where I eyed the wooden clothes dresser pressed against the wall, a remnant of a life of luxury I’d never known. I suspected it was probably out of her understanding that I’d only owned two dresses, at most, at any given time. She pulled a pair of black pants from the drawer, tossing them to me.
I caught the bundle against my chest, turning my stare down to the gauzy, light dress they’d given me to wear in the heat of the tunnels. “Have you ever worn pants before?” she asked, smiling at me from across the room, as if I was entertaining. A thick, black tunic followed, and I turned to set the clothing on the bed before I shoved the straps of my dress off my shoulders.
I gave her my back as I dealt with the twinge of discomfort I felt over being naked in front of another person, but after the display Caelum and I had put on the night before, it hardly seemed worthwhile to ask for privacy.
Her sharp intake of breath came the moment she saw my scars, and I glanced over my shoulder at her briefly before I stripped off my boots and shoved my legs into the thick, wool-lined leather pants she’d given me. “I’ve worn leggings beneath my dress,” I said, hurrying to arrange the fabric of the tunic so that I could pull it on over my head.
“What happened?” she asked, her fingertips brushing against the sensitive skin of my scars ever so slightly. They barely touched my skin; it was the echo of a different person near them making me arch away from her touch reflexively.
“I will not be owned. Never again,” I told her, shrugging the tunic on finally. The heavy linen settled around my breasts and hung down to the middle of my thighs, giving me plenty of room to maneuver while still not making me stand out too much outside the tunnels.
I turned, meeting her eyes as she stared at me with a pity-filled gaze. “Never again,” she said, swallowing as she dropped her hand to her side. She walked to the dresser and pulled open the top drawer to remove a small vial of purple serum. The glass was clear, the cork stopper at the top seeming ominous as she reached out and took one of my hands in hers. She pressed it into my hand, holding it for a moment. “Belladonna serum,” she said, answering my unvoiced question.
I knew looking at the vial that it was enough to be a lethal dose. “Does this even work on us now?” I asked, huffing a laugh as I tried not to think about the ways I could commit suicide if I needed to. It had been the plan to die alongside Brann; how unfortunate it would be to make it this far just to end up the same.
“So long as you take it before they get you back to Alfheimr and complete the bond, it will end this life for you. It won’t stop you from reincarnating into your next one, but perhaps in that one you’ll stand a chance of being free,” she said, releasing my hand and stepping back. She was already dressed warmly, swinging her heavy black cloak over her shoulders and pulling up the hood as I donned the warm socks she tossed my way and shoved my feet back into my boots.
She grabbed a spare cloak off the back of a chair in her room, stepping forward to help me arrange it around my shoulders and pull up the hood. When that was finished, she moved to the weapons on one side of her room. Grasping a dagger and strap, she handed them to me so I could buckle the leather around my thigh. I sighed with pleasure the moment I had the weapon, knowing I wouldn’t be entirely defenseless as we ventured out into the dangers I’d been so happy to escape only days prior.
It seemed impossible how little time had passed, and yet everything had changed.
“I would give you a sword, but I think you’re far more capable with that,” she said, strapping her sword and scabbard to her waist.
“I am. Thank you,” I said, tucking the vial of belladonna serum into the pocket of my cloak. Another reassurance—another thing I shouldn’t want to
have. It said something about how vile this world was, when having a way to end my life was considered a blessing.
“Promise me you’ll be careful,” she said, meeting my eyes earnestly. “I know your Caelum will do his best to protect you, but you are far more valuable to me here with the books. It goes against everything in my nature to allow you to accompany us today, but I feel as if I am left with no choice. You were quite determined to join us.”
“I still am,” I said, holding true to what I’d said to Caelum. He wanted us to live together, to die together, to stay together. I’d hold to that promise, because everything I wanted in this life was with him now, anyway.
“Stubborn,” she said, shaking her head in amusement. “Come. Imelda will ward each of us against our mates before we go. It buys us four days before we need to worry. That’s plenty of time to get to Calfalls and back, assuming we don’t run into any trouble along the way.”
I nodded, grateful at least for that one assurance. “What about the Mist Guard and the Wild Hunt?” I asked, watching as she shook her head and led the way from her chambers.
“The Mist Guard we kill, but if we encounter the Wild Hunt, the only thing you do is run. None of us stand a chance against them.” That elusive thought danced through me again, the reminder that the Hunt was one more thing Caelum had survived that was supposed to be impossible.
All because they’d been looking for me.
I did the only thing I could do in the face of that, protecting the secret of their interest specifically in me that even I didn’t understand.
I kept my fucking mouth shut.
