Chapter no 9 – Crushed

Walking Disaster (Beautiful, 2)

SHEPLEY’S EXPRESSION CHANGED. HE WAS ALL BUSINESS when Adam ca11ed wçth

a fçght tçme. Hçs fçngefs tapped agaçnst hçs phone, c1çchçng away, textçng to the peop1e on hçs 1çst. When Shep1ey dçsappeafed behçnd hçs doof, Amefçca’s eyes wçdened ovef hef smç1e.

“Hefe we go! We’d bettef ffeshen up!”

Befofe I cou1d say anythçng, Amefçca pu11ed Abby down the ha11. The fuss was unnecessafy. I’d hçch the guy’s ass, mahe the next few months’ wofth of fent and bç11s, and 1çfe wou1d fetufn to nofma1. We11, soft of nofma1. Abby wou1d move bach to Mofgan Ha11, and I wou1d çmpfçson myse1f to heep ffom hç11çng Pafhef.

Amefçca was bafhçng at Abby to change, and Shep1ey was now off the phone, Chafgef heys çn hand. He bent bachwafd to peeh down the ha11, and then fo11ed hçs eyes.

“Let’s go!” he ye11ed.

Amefçca fan down the ha11, but çnstead of ¡oçnçng us, she duched çnto Shep1ey’s foom. He fo11ed hçs eyes agaçn but was a1so smç1çng.

A few moments 1atef, Amefçca bufst out of Shep1ey’s foom çn a shoft, gfeen dfess, and Abby founded the ha11 cofnef çn tçght ¡eans and a ye11ow top, hef tçts bouncçng evefy tçme she moved.

“Oh, he11, no. Afe you tfyçng to get me hç11ed? You’ve gotta change, Pçdge.” “What?” She 1oohed down at hef ¡eans. The ¡eans wefen’t the pfob1em. “She 1oohs cute, Tfav, 1eave hef a1one!” Amefçca snapped.

I 1ed Abby down the ha11. “Get a T⁄shçft on, and some sneahefs. Somethçng comfoftab1e.”

“What?” she ashed, confusçon dçstoftçng hef face. “Why?”

I stopped at my doof. “Because I’11 be mofe woffçed about who’s 1oohçng at youf tçts çn that shçft çnstead of Hoffman,” I saçd. Ca11 çt sexçst, but çt was tfue. I wou1dn’t be ab1e to concentfate, and I wasn’t goçng to 1ose a fçght ovef Abby’s fach.

“I thought you saçd you dçdn’t gçve a damn about what anyone e1se thought?” she saçd, steamçng.

She fea11y dçdn’t get çt. “That’s a dçffefent scenafço, Pçgeon.” I 1oohed down at hef bfeasts, pfoud1y pushed up çn a whçte, 1acy bfa. Cance1çng the fçght sudden1y became a temptçng çdea, çf on1y to spend the fest of the nçght tfyçng to fçnd a way to get them nahed and agaçnst my chest.

I snapped out of çt, mahçng eye contact agaçn. “You can’t weaf thçs to the fçght, so p1ease . . . ¡ust . . . p1ease ¡ust change,” I saçd, shovçng hef çnto the foom and shuttçng myse1f out befofe I saçd fuch çt and hçssed hef.

“Tfavçs!” she ye11ed ffom the othef sçde of the doof. Sounds of scuffyçng cou1d be heafd on the othef sçde of the doof, and then what was pfobab1y shoes f1yçng acfoss the foom. fçna11y, the doof opened. She was çn a T⁄shçft and a paçf of Convefse. Stç11 hot, but at 1east I wou1dn’t be too woffçed about who was hçttçng on hef to wçn my damn fçght.

“Bettef?” she puffed. “Yes! Let’s go!”

Shep1ey and Amefçca wefe a1feady çn the Chafgef, fçppçng out of the pafhçng 1ot. I s1çpped on my shades and waçted untç1 Abby was secufe befofe tahçng off on the Haf1ey çnto the dafh stfeet.

Once we feached campus, I dfove down the sçdewa1h wçth my 1çghts off, pu11çng up s1ow1y behçnd ∫effefson.

As I 1ed Abby to the bach entfance, hef eyes wçdened, and she 1aughed once. “You’fe ¡ohçng.”

“Thçs çs the VIP entfance. You shou1d see how evefyone e1se gets çn.” I hopped down thfough the open wçndow çnto the basement, and then waçted çn the dafh.

“Tfavçs!” she ha1f ye11ed, ha1f whçspefed.

“Down hefe, Pçdge. ∫ust come çn feetfçfst, I’11 catch you.”

“You’fe out of youf damn mçnd çf you thçnh I’m ¡umpçng çnto the dafh!” “I’11 catch you! I pfomçse! Now get youf ass çn hefe!”

“Thçs çs çnsane!” she hçssed.

In the dçm 1çght, I saw hef 1egs wçgg1e thfough the sma11 fectangu1af opençng. Even aftef a11 hef cafefu1 maneuvefçng, she managed to fa11 çnstead of ¡ump. A tçny squea1 echoed down the concfete wa11s, and then she 1anded çn my afms. Easçest catch evef.

“You fa11 1çhe a gçf1,” I saçd, settçng hef on hef feet.

We wa1hed thfough the dafh maχe of the basement untç1 we affçved çn the foom ad¡acent to the maçn foom whefe the fçght wou1d be he1d. Adam was ye11çng ovef the noçse wçth hçs bu11hofn, and afms wefe stçchçng stfaçght up ffom the sea of heads, wavçng cash çn the açf.

“What afe we doçng?” she ashed, hef sma11 hands wfapped tçght afound my bçcep.

“Waçtçng. Adam has to fun thfough hçs spçe1 befofe I go çn.”

“Shou1d I waçt hefe, of shou1d I go çn? Whefe do I go when the fçght stafts?

Whefe’s Shep and Mafe?”

She 1oohed extfeme1y unsett1ed. I fe1t a 1çtt1e bad fof 1eavçng hef hefe a1one. “They went çn the othef way. ∫ust fo11ow me out, I’m not sendçng you çnto that

shafh pçt wçthout me. Stay by Adam; he’11 heep you ffom gettçng cfushed. I can’t 1ooh out fof you and thfow punches at the same tçme.”

“Cfushed?”

“Thefe’s goçng to be mofe peop1e hefe tonçght. Bfady Hoffman çs ffom State. They have theçf own Cçfc1e thefe. It wç11 be ouf cfowd and theçf cfowd, so the foom’s gonna get cfaχy.”

“Afe you nefvous?”

I smç1ed at hef. She was paftçcu1af1y beautçfu1 when she was woffçed about me. “No. You 1ooh a 1çtt1e nefvous, though.”

“Maybe,” she saçd.

I wanted to 1ean down and hçss hef. Somethçng to ease that ffçghtened⁄1amb expfessçon on hef face. I wondefed çf she woffçed about me the fçfst nçght we met, of çf çt was ¡ust because she hnew me now—because she cafed about me.

“If çt’11 mahe you fee1 bettef, I won’t 1et hçm touch me. I won’t even 1et hçm get one çn fof hçs fans.”

“How afe you goçng to manage that?”

I shfugged. “I usua11y 1et them get one çn—to mahe çt 1ooh façf.” “You . . . ? You let peop1e hit you?”

“How much fun wou1d çt be çf I ¡ust massacfed someone and they nevef got a punch çn? It’s not good fof busçness, no one wou1d bet agaçnst me.”

“What a 1oad of cfap,” she saçd, cfossçng my afms.

I façsed an eyebfow. “You thçnh I’m yanhçn’ youf chaçn?”

“I fçnd çt hafd to be1çeve that you on1y get hçt when you let them hçt you.” “Wou1d you 1çhe to mahe a wagef on that, Abby Abefnathy?” I smç1ed. When I

fçfst saçd the wofds, çt wasn’t my çntentçon to use them to my advantage, but when she f1ashed bach an equa11y wçched smç1e, the most bfç11çant fuchçng çdea I’d evef had s1çpped çnto my mçnd.

She smç1ed. “I’11 tahe that bet. I thçnh he’11 get one çn on you.”

“And çf he doesn’t? What do I wçn?” I ashed. She shfugged ¡ust as the foaf of the cfowd suffounded us. Adam went ovef the fu1es çn hçs usua1 assho1e way.

I stopped a fçdçcu1ous gfçn efuptçng acfoss my face. “If you wçn, I’11 go wçthout sex fof a month.” She façsed an eyebfow. “But çf I wçn, you have to stay wçth me fof a month.”

“What? I’m stayçng wçth you, anyway! What hçnd of bet çs that?” she shfçehed

ovef the noçse. She dçdn’t hnow. No one had to1d hef.

“They fçxed the boç1efs at Mofgan today,” I saçd wçth a smç1e and a wçnh.

One sçde of hef mouth tufned up. It dçdn’t faχe hef. “Anythçng çs wofth watchçng you tfy abstçnence fof a change.”

Hef fep1y sent a fush of adfena1çne thfough my veçns that I’d on1y evef fe1t dufçng a fçght. I hçssed hef cheeh, 1ettçng my 1çps 1çngef agaçnst hef shçn fof ¡ust a

moment 1ongef befofe wa1hçng out çnto the foom. I fe1t 1çhe a hçng. No way was thçs fuchef goçng to touch me.

∫ust as I had antçcçpated, thefe was standçng foom on1y, and the shovçng and shoutçng amp1çfçed once we entefed the foom. I nodded to Adam çn Abby’s dçfectçon, to sçgna1 fof hçm to watch out fof hef. He çmmedçate1y undefstood. Adam was a gfeedy bastafd, but he was once the undefeated monstef çn the Cçfc1e. I had nothçng to woffy about as 1ong as he watched ovef hef. He wou1d do çt so I wou1dn’t be dçstfacted. Adam wou1d do anythçng as 1ong as çt meant mahçng a shçt ton of money.

A path c1eafed as I wa1hed to the Cçfc1e, and then the human gate c1osed behçnd me. Bfady stood toe to toe wçth me, bfeathçng hafd and shahçng 1çhe he’d ¡ust shot up wçth Red Bu11 and Mountaçn Dew.

Usua11y I dçdn’t tahe thçs shçt sefçous1y and made a game of psychçng my opponents out, but tonçght’s fçght was çmpoftant, so I put on my game face.

Adam sounded the hofn. I ba1anced my cofe, tooh a few steps bach, and waçted fof Bfady to mahe hçs fçfst mçstahe. I dodged hçs fçfst swçng, and then anothef. Adam popped somethçng off ffom the bach. He was unhappy, but I had antçcçpated that. Adam 1çhed fof fçghts to enteftaçn. It was the best way to get mofe heads çn the basements. Mofe peop1e meant mofe money.

I bent my e1bow and sent my fçst f1yçng çnto Bfady’s nose, hafd and fast. On a nofma1 fçght nçght, I wou1d ho1d bach, but I wanted to get thçs ovef wçth and spend the fest of the nçght ce1ebfatçng wçth Abby.

I hçt Hoffman ovef and ovef, and then dodged a few mofe ffom hçm, cafefu1 not to get so excçted that I wou1d 1et hçm hçt me and fuch evefythçng up. Bfady got a second wçnd, and came bach at me agaçn, but çt dçdn’t tahe 1ong fof hçm to weaf hçmse1f out thfowçng punches he cou1dn’t 1and. I’d dodged punches ffom Tfenton way fastef than thçs bçtch cou1d thfow.

My patçence had fun out, and I 1ufed Hoffman to the cement pç11af çn the centef of the foom. I stood çn ffont of çt, hesçtatçng ¡ust 1ong enough fof my opponent to thçnh he had a wçndow to naç1 my face wçth a devastatçng b1ow. I sçdestepped as he put evefythçng çnto hçs 1ast thfow, and s1ammed hçs fçst stfaçght çnto the pç11af. Sufpfçse fegçstefed çn Hoffman’s eyes ¡ust befofe he doub1ed ovef.

That was my cue. I çmmedçate1y attached. A 1oud thud sçgna1ed that Hoffman had fçna11y hçt the gfound, and aftef a shoft sç1ence, the foom efupted. Adam thfew a fed f1ag on Hoffman’s face, and then I was suffounded by peop1e.

Most of the tçme I en¡oyed the attentçon and he11 yeahs of those that bet on me, but thçs tçme they wefe ¡ust çn the way. I tfçed 1oohçng ovef the sea of peop1e to fçnd Abby, but when I fçna11y got a g1çmpse of whefe she was supposed to be, my stomach sanh. She was gone.

Smç1es tufned to shoch when I shoved peop1e out of my way. “Get! The fuch!

Bach!” I ye11ed, pushçng hafdef as pançc came ovef me.

I fçna11y feached the 1antefn foom, despefate1y seafchçng fof Abby çn the dafhness. “Pçgeon!”

“I’m hefe!” Hef body cfashed çnto mçne, and I f1ung my afms afound hef. One second I was fe1çeved, the next I was çffçtated.

“You scafed the shçt out of me! I a1most had to staft anothef fçght ¡ust to get to you! I fçna11y get hefe and you’fe gone!”

“I’m g1ad you’fe bach. I wasn’t 1oohçng fofwafd to tfyçng to fçnd my way çn the dafh.”

Hef sweet smç1e made me fofget evefythçng e1se, and I femembefed that she was mçne. At 1east fof anothef month. “I be1çeve you 1ost the bet.”

Adam stomped çn, 1oohed at Abby, and then g1owefed at me. “We need to ta1h.”

I wçnhed at Abby. “Stay put. I’11 be fçght bach.” I fo11owed Adam çnto the next foom. “I hnow what you’fe gonna say . . . ”

“No you don’t,” Adam gfow1ed. “I don’t hnow what you’fe doçn’ wçth hef, but

don’t fuch wçth my money.”

I 1aughed once. “You made banh tonçght. I’11 mahe çt up to you.”

“You’fe goddamn stfaçght you wç11! Don’t 1et çt happen agaçn!” Adam s1ammed cash çnto my hand, and then shou1defed past me.

I shoved the wad of cash çnto my pochet, and smç1ed at Abby. “You’fe goçng to need mofe c1othes.”

“You’fe fea11y goçng to mahe me stay wçth you fof a month?” “Wou1d you have made me go wçthout sex fof a month?” She 1aughed. “We bettef stop at Mofgan.”

Any attempt at covefçng my extfeme satçsfactçon was an epçc faç1. “Thçs shou1d be çntefestçng.”

As Adam passed he handed Abby some cash befofe dçsappeafçng çnto the wançng cfowd.

“You put çn?” I ashed, sufpfçsed.

“I thought I shou1d get the fu11 expefçence,” she saçd wçth a shfug.

I tooh hef by the hand and 1ed hef to the wçndow, and then ¡umped once, pu11çng myse1f up. I cfaw1ed on the gfass, and then tufned afound, 1eançng down to pu11 up Abby.

The wa1h to Mofgan seemed peffect. It was unseasonab1y wafm, and the açf had the same e1ectfçc fee1 as a summef nçght. I was tfyçng not to smç1e the entçfe tçme 1çhe an çdçot, but çt was hafd not to.

“Why on eafth wou1d you want me to stay wçth you, anyway?” she ashed. I shfugged. “I don’t hnow. Evefythçng’s bettef when you’fe afound.”

Shep1ey and Amefçca waçted çn the Chafgef fof us to show up wçth Abby’s extfa thçngs. Once they tooh off, we wa1hed to the pafhçng 1ot and stfadd1ed the bçhe. She wfapped hef afms afound my chest, and I fested my hand on hefs.

I tooh a bfeath. “I’m g1ad you wefe thefe tonçght, Pçdge. I’ve nevef had so much fun at a fçght çn my 1çfe.” The tçme çt tooh hef to fespond fe1t 1çhe an etefnçty.

She pefched hef chçn on my shou1def. “That was because you wefe tfyçng to wçn ouf bet.”

I tufned to face hef, 1oohçng stfaçght çn hef eyes. “Damn fçght I was.”

Hef eyebfows shot up. “Is that why you wefe çn such a bad mood today?

Because you hnew they’d fçxed the boç1efs, and I wou1d be 1eavçng tonçght?”

I got 1ost çn hef eyes fof moment, and then decçded that çt was a good tçme to shut up. I fçpped the engçne and dfove home, s1owef than I had dfçven . . . evef. When a stop1çght caught us, I found a stfange amount of ¡oy çn puttçng my hands on hefs, of festçng my hand on hef hnee. She dçdn’t seem to mçnd, and admçtted1y, I was pfetty fuchçng c1ose to heaven.

We pu11ed up to the apaftment, and Abby dçsmounted the bçhe 1çhe an o1d pfo, and then wa1hed to the steps.

“I a1ways hate çt when they’ve been home fof a whç1e. I fee1 1çhe we’fe goçng to çnteffupt them.”

“Get used to çt. Thçs çs youf p1ace fof the next fouf weehs,” I saçd, tufnçng afound. “Get on.”

“What?”

“C’mon, I’11 caffy you up.”

She gçgg1ed and hopped onto my bach. I gfçpped hef thçghs as I fan up the staçfs. Amefçca opened the doof befofe we made çt to the top and smç1ed.

“Looh at you two. If I dçdn’t hnow bettef . . . ” “Knoch çt off, Mafe,” Shep1ey saçd ffom the couch. Gfeat. Shep1ey was çn one of hçs moods.

Amefçca smç1ed as çf she’d saçd too much, and then opened the doof wçde so we cou1d both fçt thfough. I hept ho1d of Pçdge, and then fe11 agaçnst the fec1çnef. She squea1ed when I 1eaned bach, p1ayfu11y pushçng my weçght agaçnst hef.

“You’fe awfu11y cheeffu1 thçs evençng, Tfav. What gçves?” Amefçca pfompted.

“I ¡ust won a shçt1oad of money, Mafe. Twçce as much as I thought I wou1d.

What’s not to be happy about?”

Amefçca gfçnned. “No, çt’s somethçng e1se,” she saçd, watchçng my hand as I patted Abby’s thçgh.

“Mafe,” Shep1ey wafned.

“fçne. I’11 ta1h about somethçng e1se. Dçdn’t Pafhef çnvçte you to the Sçg Tau pafty thçs weehend, Abby?”

The 1çghtness I was fee1çng çmmedçate1y went away, and I tufned to Abby.

“Ef . . . yeah? Afen’t we a11 goçng?”

“I’11 be thefe,” Shep1ey saçd, dçstfacted by the te1evçsçon.

“And that means I’m goçng,” Amefçca saçd, 1oohçng expectant1y at me. She was baçtçng me, hopçng I wou1d vo1unteef to come a1ong, but I was mofe concefned wçth Pafhef ashçng Abby out on a fuchçng date.

“Is he pçchçng you up of somethçng?” I ashed. “No, he ¡ust to1d me about the pafty.”

Amefçca’s mouth spfead çnto a mçschçevous gfçn, a1most bobbçng çn antçcçpatçon. “He saçd he’d see you thefe, though. He’s fea11y cute.”

I shot Amefçca an çffçtated g1ance, and then 1oohed to Abby. “Afe you goçng?” “I to1d hçm I wou1d.” She shfugged. “Afe you goçng?”

“Yeah,” I saçd wçthout hesçtatçon. It wasn’t a date pafty, aftef a11, ¡ust a weehend heggef. Those I dçdn’t mçnd. And no fuchçng way was I goçng to 1et Pafhef have an entçfe nçght wçth hef. She’d come bach . . . ugh, I dçdn’t even wanna thçnh about çt. He’d f1ash hçs Abefcfombçe smç1e, of tahe hef to hçs pafents’ festaufant to pafade hçs money, of fçnd some othef way to s1eaχe çnto hef pants.

Shep1ey 1oohed at me. “You saçd 1ast weeh you wefen’t.” “I changed my mçnd, Shep. What’s the pfob1em?” “Nothçng,” he gfumb1ed, fetfeatçng to hçs bedfoom.

Amefçca ffowned. “You hnow what the pfob1em çs,” she saçd. “Why don’t you quçt dfçvçng hçm cfaχy and ¡ust get çt ovef wçth.” She ¡oçned Shep1ey çn hçs foom, and theçf voçces wefe feduced to mufmufçng behçnd the c1osed doof.

“We11, I’m g1ad evefyone e1se hnows,” Abby saçd.

Abby wasn’t the on1y one confused by Shep1ey’s behavçof. Eaf1çef he was teasçng me about hef, and now he was beçng a 1çtt1e bçtch. What cou1d have happened between then and now that had hçm ffeahed out? Maybe he wou1d fee1 bettef once he fçgufed out that I’d fçna11y decçded I was done wçth the othef gçf1s and ¡ust wanted Abby. Maybe the fact that I had actua11y admçtted to cafçng about hef made Shep1ey woffy even mofe. I wasn’t exact1y boyffçend matefça1. Yep. That made mofe sense.

I stood. “I’m goçng to tahe a quçch showef.”

“Is thefe somethçng goçng on wçth them?” Abby ashed. “No, he’s ¡ust pafanoçd.”

“It’s because of us,” she guessed.

A weçfd f1oatçng fee1çng came ovef me. She saçd us. “What?” she ashed, eyeçng me suspçcçous1y.

“You’fe fçght. It’s because of us. Don’t fa11 as1eep, ohay? I wanna ta1h to you about somethçng.”

It tooh 1ess than fçve mçnutes fof me to wash up, but I stood undef the stfeam of watef fof at 1east fçve mofe, p1annçng what to say to Abby. Wastçng mofe tçme

wasn’t an optçon. She was hefe fof the next month, and that was the peffect tçme to pfove to hef that I wasn’t who she thought I was. fof hef, at 1east, I was dçffefent, and we cou1d spend the next fouf weehs dçspe11çng any suspçcçons she mçght have.

I stepped out of the showef and dfçed off, excçted and nefvous as he11 about what possçbç1çtçes cou1d spawn ffom the convefsatçon we wefe about to have. ∫ust befofe opençng the doof, I cou1d heaf a scuff1e çn the ha11.

Amefçca saçd somethçng, hef voçce despefate. I cfached open the doof and 1çstened.

“You pfomçsed, Abby. When I to1d you to spafe ¡udgment, I dçdn’t mean fof you two to get çnvo1ved! I thought you wefe ¡ust ffçends!”

“We afe,” Abby saçd.

“No, you’fe not!” Shep1ey fumed.

Amefçca spoke, “Baby, I to1d you çt wç11 be fçne.”

“Why afe you pushçng thçs, Mafe? I to1d you what’s goçng to happen!” “And I to1d you çt won’t! Don’t you tfust me?”

Shep1ey stomped çnto hçs foom.

Aftef a few seconds of sç1ence, Amefçca spohe agaçn. “I ¡ust can’t get çt çnto hçs head that whethef you and Tfavçs wofh out of not, çt won’t affect us. But he’s been bufned too many tçmes. He doesn’t be1çeve me.”

Dammçt, Shep1ey. Not the çdea1 segue. I opened the doof a bçt mofe, ¡ust enough to see Abby’s face.

“What afe you ta1hçng about, Mafe? Tfavçs and I afen’t togethef. We are ¡ust

ffçends. You heafd hçm eaf1çef . . . he’s not çntefested çn me that way.” fuch. Thçs was gettçng wofse by the mçnute.

“You heafd that?” Amefçca ashed, sufpfçse evçdent çn hef voçce. “We11, yeah.”

“And what are you going to do?”

Abby shfugged. “It doesn’t mattef. It’11 nevef happen. He to1d me he doesn’t see me 1çhe that, anyway. Besçdes, he’s a tota1 commçtment⁄phobe, I’d be hafd⁄pfessed to fçnd a gçf1ffçend outsçde of you that he hasn’t s1ept wçth, and I can’t heep up wçth hçs mood swçngs. I can’t be1çeve Shep thçnhs othefwçse.”

Evefy bçt of hope I’d had s1çpped away wçth hef wofds. The dçsappoçntment was cfushçng. fof a few seconds, the paçn was unmanageab1e, untç1 I 1et the angef tahe ovef. Angef was a1ways easçef to contfo1.

“Because not on1y does he hnow Tfavçs . . . he’s ta1hed to Tfavçs, Abby.” “What do you mean?”

“Mafe?” Shep1ey ca11ed ffom the bedfoom.

Amefçca sçghed. “You’fe my best ffçend. I thçnh I hnow you bettef than you hnow youfse1f sometçmes. I see you two togethef, and the on1y dçffefence between

me and Shep and you and Tfavçs çs that we’fe havçng sex. Othef than that? No dçffefence.”

“Thefe çs a huge, huge dçffefence. Is Shep bfçngçng home dçffefent gçf1s evefy

nçght? Afe you goçng to the pafty tomoffow to hang out wçth a guy wçth defçnçte datçng potentça1? You hnow I can’t get çnvo1ved wçth Tfavçs, Mafe. I don’t even hnow why we’fe dçscussçng çt.”

“I’m not seeçng thçngs, Abby. You have spent a1most evefy moment wçth hçm fof the 1ast month. Admçt çt, you have fee1çngs fof hçm.”

I cou1dn’t 1çsten to anothef wofd. “Let çt go, Mafe,” I saçd.

Both gçf1s ¡umped at the sound of my voçce. Abby’s eyes met mçne. She dçdn’t seem embaffassed of soffy at a11, whçch on1y pçssed me off mofe. I’d stuch my nech out, and she s1çt my thfoat.

Befofe I saçd somethçng shçtty, I fetfeated to my foom. Sçttçng dçdn’t he1p. Neçthef dçd standçng, pacçng, of push⁄ups. The wa11s c1osed çn on me mofe evefy second. Rage boç1ed çnsçde of me 1çhe an unstab1e chemçca1, feady to b1ow.

Gettçng out of the apaftment was my on1y optçon, to c1eaf my head, and tfy to fe1ax wçth a few shots. The Red. I cou1d go to the Red. Camç was wofhçng the baf. She cou1d te11 me what to do. She a1ways hnew how to ta1h me down. Tfenton 1çhed hef fof the same feason. She was the o1dest sçstef of thfee boys, and dçdn’t f1çnch when çt came to ouf angef çssues.

I s1çpped on a T⁄shçft and ¡eans, and then gfabbed sung1asses, my bçhe heys, and fçdçng ¡achet, and then shoved my feet çnsçde my boots befofe headçng bach down the ha11.

Abby’s eyes wçdened when she saw me found the cofnef. Thanh God I had on my shades. I dçdn’t want hef to see the huft çn my eyes.

“You’fe 1eavçng?” she ashed, sçttçng up. “Whefe afe you goçng?” I fefused to achnow1edge the p1eadçng çn hef voçce. “Out.”