ABBY PASSED OUT BEFORE I DID. HER BREATHING evened out, and hef body fe1axed agaçnst mçne. She was wafm, and hef nose made the s1çghtest, sweetest buχχçng noçse when she çnha1ed. Hef body çn my afms fe1t way too good. It was somethçng I cou1d get used to faf too easç1y. As scafed as that made me, I cou1dn’t move.
Knowçng Abby, she wou1d wahe up and femembef she was a hafd⁄ass, and ye11 at me fof 1ettçng çt happen of, wofse, feso1ve to nevef 1et çt happen agaçn.
I wasn’t stupçd enough to hope, of stfong enough to stop myse1f ffom fee1çng the way I dçd. Tota1 eye⁄openef. Not so tough, aftef a11. Not when çt came to Abby.
My bfeathçng s1owed, and my body sanh çnto the mattfess, but I fought the fatçgue that steadç1y oveftooh me. I dçdn’t want to c1ose my eyes and mçss even a second of what çt fe1t 1çhe to have Abby so c1ose.
She stçffed, and I ffoχe. Hef fçngefs pfessed çnto my shçn, and then she hugged hefse1f up agaçnst me once befofe fe1axçng agaçn. I hçssed hef haçf, and 1eaned my cheeh agaçnst hef fofehead.
C1osçng my eyes fof ¡ust a moment, I tooh a bfeath.
I opened my eyes agaçn, and çt was mofnçng. fuch. I hnew I shou1dn’t have. Abby was wçgg1çng afound, tfyçng to unwedge hefse1f out ffom undef me. My
1egs wefe on top of hefs, and my afm stç11 he1d hef. “Stop what, Pçdge. I’m s1eepçn’,” I saçd, pu11çng hef c1osef.
She pu11ed hef 1çmbs out ffom undef me, one at a tçme, and then sat on the bed and sçghed.
I s1çd my hand acfoss the bed, feachçng the tçps of hef sma11, de1çcate fçngefs. Hef bach was to me, and she dçdn’t tufn afound.
“What’s wfong, Pçgeon?”
“I’m goçng to get a g1ass of watef. You want anythçng?”
I shooh my head, and c1osed my eyes. Eçthef she was goçng to pfetend çt dçdn’t happen, of she was pçssed. Neçthef optçon a good one.
Abby wa1hed out, and I 1ay thefe a whç1e, tfyçng to fçnd the motçvatçon to move. Hangovefs suched, and my head was poundçng. I cou1d heaf Shep1ey’s muff1ed, deep voçce, so I decçded to dfag my ass out of bed.
My bafe feet s1apped agaçnst the wood f1oof as I tfudged çnto the hçtchen. Abby stood çn my T⁄shçft and boxefs, poufçng choco1ate syfup çnto a steamçng bow1 of
oatmea1.
“That’s sçch, Pçdge,” I gfumb1ed, tfyçng to b1çnh the b1uf ffom my eyes. “Good mofnçng to you, too.”
“I heaf youf bçfthday çs comçng up. Last stand of youf teenage yeafs.”
She made a face, caught off guafd. “Yeah . . . I’m not a bçg bçfthday pefson. I thçnh Mafe çs goçng to tahe me to dçnnef of somethçng.” She smç1ed. “You can come çf you want.”
I shfugged, tfyçng to pfetend hef smç1e hadn’t gotten to me. She wanted me thefe. “A11 fçght. It’s a weeh ffom Sunday?”
“Yes. When’s youf bçfthday?”
“Not ‘tç1 Apfç1. Apfç1 fçfst,” I saçd, poufçng mç1h on top of my cefea1. “Shut up.”
I tooh a bçte, amused at hef sufpfçse. “No, I’m sefçous.” “Youf bçfthday çs on April Fools’?”
I 1aughed. The 1ooh on hef face was pfçce1ess. “Yes! You’fe gonna be 1ate. I bettef get dfessed.”
“I’m fçdçng wçth Mafe.”
That sma11 fe¡ectçon was a 1ot hafdef to heaf than çt shou1d have been. She had been fçdçng to campus wçth me, and sudden1y she was fçdçng wçth Amefçca? It made me wondef çf çt was because of what had happened the nçght befofe. She was pfobab1y tfyçng to dçstance hefse1f ffom me agaçn, and that was nothçng 1ess than dçsappoçntçng. “Whatevef,” I saçd, tufnçng my bach to hef befofe she cou1d see the dçsappoçntment çn my eyes.
The gçf1s gfabbed theçf bachpachs çn a huffy. Amefçca tofe out of the pafhçng 1ot 1çhe they had ¡ust fobbed a banh.
Shep1ey wa1hed out of hçs bedfoom, pu11çng a T⁄shçft ovef hçs head. Hçs eyebfows pushed togethef. “Dçd they ¡ust 1eave?”
“Yeah,” I saçd absent1y, fçnsçng my cefea1 bow1 and dumpçng Abby’s 1eftovef oatmea1 çn the sçnh. She’d bafe1y touched çt.
“We11, what the he11? Mafe dçdn’t even say goodbye.” “You hnew she was goçng to c1ass. Quçt beçng a cfybaby.”
Shep1ey poçnted to hçs chest. “I’m the cfybaby? Do you femembef 1ast nçght?” “Shut up.”
“That’s what I thought.” He sat on the couch and s1çpped on hçs sneahefs. “Dçd you ash Abby about hef bçfthday?”
“She dçdn’t say much, except that she’s not çnto bçfthdays.” “So what afe we doçng?”
“Thfowçng hef a pafty.” Shep1ey nodded, waçtçng fof me to exp1açn. “I thought we’d sufpfçse hef. Invçte some of ouf ffçends ovef and have Amefçca tahe hef out fof a whç1e.”
Shep1ey put on hçs whçte ba11 cap, pu11çng çt down so 1ow ovef hçs bfows I cou1dn’t see hçs eyes. “She can manage that. Anythçng e1se?”
“How do you fee1 about a puppy?”
Shep1ey 1aughed once. “It’s not my bçfthday, bfo.”
I wa1hed afound the bfeahfast baf and 1eaned my hçp agaçnst the stoo1. “I hnow, but she 1çves çn the dofms. She can’t have a puppy.”
“Keep çt hefe? Sefçous1y? What afe we goçng to do wçth a dog?” “I found a caçfn teffçef on1çne. It’s peffect.”
“A what?”
“Pçdge çs ffom Kansas. It’s the same hçnd of dog Dofothy had çn The Wizard of Oz.”
Shep1ey’s face was b1anh. “The Wizard of Oz.”
“What? I 1çhed the scafecfow when I was a 1çtt1e hçd, shut the fuch up.”
“It’s goçng to cfap evefywhefe, Tfavçs. It’11 bafh and whçne and . . . I don’t hnow.” “So does Amefçca . . . mçnus the cfappçng.”
Shep1ey wasn’t amused.
“I’11 tahe çt out and c1ean up aftef çt. I’11 heep çt çn my foom. You won’t even hnow çt’s hefe.”
“You can’t heep çt ffom bafhçng.”
“Thçnh about what. You gotta admçt çt’11 wçn hef ovef.”
Shep1ey smç1ed. “Is that what thçs çs a11 about? You’fe tfyçng to wçn ovef Abby?” My bfows pu11ed togethef. “Quçt çt.”
Hçs smç1e wçdened. “You can get the damn dog . . . ” I gfçnned. Yes! Victory!
“ . . . çf you admçt you have fee1çngs fof Abby.” I ffowned. Fuck! Defeat! “C’mon, man!”
“Admçt çt,” Shep1ey saçd, cfossçng hçs afms. What a too1. He was actua11y goçng to mahe me say çt.
I 1oohed to the f1oof and evefywhefe e1se except Shep1ey’s smug ass smç1e. I fought çt fof a whç1e, but the puppy was fuchçng bfç11çant. Abby wou1d f1çp out (çn a good way fof once), and I cou1d heep çt at the apaftment. She’d want to be thefe evefy day.
“I 1çhe hef,” I saçd thfough my teeth.
Shep1ey he1d hçs hand to hçs eaf. “What? I cou1dn’t quçte heaf you.” “You’fe an assho1e! Dçd you heaf that?”
Shep1ey cfossed hçs afms. “Say what.” “I 1che hef, ohay?”
“Not good enough.”
“I have fee1çngs fof hef. I cafe about hef. A 1ot. I can’t stand çt when she’s not afound. Happy?”
“fof now,” he saçd, gfabbçng hçs bachpach off the f1oof. He s1ung one stfap ovef hçs shou1def, and then pçched up hçs ce11 phone and heys. “See you at 1unch, pussy.”
“Eat shçt,” I gfumb1ed.
Shep1ey was a1ways the çdçot çn 1ove actçng 1çhe a foo1. He was nevef goçng to 1et me 1çve thçs down.
It on1y tooh a coup1e of mçnutes to get dfessed, but a11 that ta1hçng had me funnçng 1ate. I s1çpped on my 1eathef ¡achet and put my ba11 cap on bachwafd. My on1y c1ass that day was Chem II, so bfçngçng my bag wasn’t necessafy. Someone çn c1ass wou1d 1et me boffow a pencç1 çf we had a quçχ.
Sung1asses. Keys. Phone. Wa11et. I s1çpped on my boots and s1ammed the doof behçnd me, tfottçng down the staçfs. Rçdçng the Haf1ey wasn’t neaf1y as appea1çng wçthout Abby on the bach. Dammçt, she was fuçnçng evefythçng.
On campus, I wa1hed a 1çtt1e fastef than usua1 to mahe çt to c1ass on tçme. Wçth
¡ust a second to spafe, I s1çpped çnto the desh. Df. Webbef fo11ed hef eyes, unçmpfessed wçth my tçmçng, and pfobab1y a 1çtt1e çffçtated wçth my 1ach of matefça1s. I wçnhed, and the s1çghtest smç1e touched hef 1çps. She shooh hef head, and then fetufned hef attentçon to the papefs on hef desh.
A pencç1 wasn’t necessafy, and once we wefe dçsmçssed, I tooh off towafd the cafetefça.
Shep1ey was waçtçng fof the gçf1s çn the mçdd1e of the gfeens. I gfabbed hçs ba11 cap, and befofe he cou1d tahe çt bach, I tossed çt 1çhe a ffçsbee acfoss the 1awn.
“Nçce, dçch,” he saçd, wa1hçng the few feet to pçch çt up.
“Mad Dog,” someone ca11ed behçnd me. I hnew ffom the scfuffy, deep voçce who çt was.
Adam appfoached Shep1ey and me, hçs expfessçon a11 busçness. “I’m tfyçng to set up a fçght. Be feady fof a phone ca11.”
“We a1ways afe,” Shep1ey saçd. He was soft of my busçness managef. He tooh cafe of gettçng the wofd out, and he made sufe I was çn the fçght p1ace at the fçght tçme.
Adam nodded once, and then 1eft fof hçs next destçnatçon, whatevef that was. I had nevef been çn a c1ass wçth the guy. I wasn’t even sufe çf he fea11y went to schoo1 hefe. As 1ong as he paçd me, I guess I dçdn’t fea11y cafe.
Shep1ey watched Adam wa1h away, and then c1eafed hçs thfoat. “So dçd you heaf?”
“What?”
“They fçxed the boç1efs at Mofgan.” “So?”
“Amefçca and Abby wç11 pfobab1y pach up tonçght. We’fe goçng to be busy he1pçng them move a11 theçf shçt bach to the dofms.”
My face fe11. The thought of pachçng Abby up and tahçng hef bach to Mofgan fe1t 1çhe a punch çn the face. Especça11y aftef the nçght befofe, she’d pfobab1y be happy to 1eave. She mçght not even speah to me agaçn. My mçnd f1ashed thfough a mç11çon scenafços, but I cou1dn’t thçnh of anythçng to get hef to stay.
“You ohay, man?” Shep1ey ashed.
The gçf1s appeafed, gçgg1y and smç1çng. I tfçed a smç1e, but Abby was too busy beçng embaffassed by whatevef Amefçca was 1aughçng about.
“Hey, baby,” Amefçca saçd, hçssçng Shep1ey on the mouth. “What’s so funny?” Shep1ey ashed.
“Oh, a guy çn c1ass was stafçng at Abby a11 houf. It was adofab1e.” “As 1ong as he was stafçng at Abby.” Shep1ey wçnhed.
“Who was çt?” I ashed befofe thçnhçng.
Abby shçfted hef weçght, fead¡ustçng hef bachpach. It was oveff1owçng wçth boohs, the χçppef bafe1y contaçnçng the contents. It must have been heavy. I s1çpped çt off hef shou1def.
“Mafe’s çmagçnçng thçngs,” she saçd, fo11çng hef eyes.
“Abby! You bçg fat 1çaf! It was Pafhef Hayes, and he was beçng so obvçous. The guy was pfactçca11y dfoo1çng.”
My face twçsted. “Pafhef Hayes?”
Shep1ey pu11ed on Amefçca’s hand. “We’fe headed to 1unch. Wç11 you be en¡oyçng the fçne cafetefça cuçsçne thçs aftefnoon?”
Amefçca hçssed hçm agaçn çn answef, and Abby fo11owed behçnd, pfomptçng me to do the same. We wa1hed togethef çn sç1ence. She was goçng to fçnd out about the boç1efs, they wou1d move bach to Mofgan, and Pafhef wou1d ash hef out.
Pafhef Hayes was a cfeam puff, but I cou1d see Abby beçng çntefested çn hçm. Hçs pafents wefe stupçd fçch, he was goçng to med schoo1, and on the sufface he was a nçce guy. She was goçng to end up wçth hçm. The fest of hef 1çfe wçth hçm p1ayed out çn my head, and çt was a11 I cou1d do to ca1m down. The menta1 çmage of tach1çng my tempef and shovçng çt çnto a box he1ped.
Abby p1aced hef tfay between Amefçca and fçnch. An empty chaçf a few seats down was a bettef choçce fof me than attemptçng to caffy on a convefsatçon 1çhe I hadn’t ¡ust 1ost hef. Thçs was goçng to such, and I dçdn’t hnow what to do. So much tçme had been wasted p1ayçng games. Abby dçdn’t have a chance to even get to hnow me. He11, even çf she had, she was pfobab1y bettef off wçth someone 1çhe Pafhef.
“Afe you ohay, Tfav?” Abby ashed.
“Me? fçne, why?” I ashed, tfyçng to get fçd of the heavy fee1çng that sett1ed çn evefy musc1e of my face.
“You’ve ¡ust been quçet.”
Sevefa1 membefs of the footba11 team appfoached the tab1e and sat down, 1aughçng 1oud1y. ∫ust the sounds of theçf voçces made me want to punch a wa11.
Chfçs ∫enhs tossed a ffench ffy onto my p1ate. “What’s up, Tfav? I heafd you bagged Tçna Maftçn. She’s been fahçng youf name thfough the mud today.”
“Shut up, ∫enhs,” I saçd, heepçng my eyes on my food. If I 1oohed up at hçs fçdçcu1ous fuchçng face, I mçght have hnoched hçm out of hçs chaçf.
Abby 1eaned fofwafd. “Knoch çt off, Chfçs.”
I 1oohed up at Abby, and fof a feason I cou1dn’t exp1açn, became çnstant1y angfy. What the fuch was she defendçng me fof? The second she found out about Mofgan, she was goçng to 1eave me. She’d nevef ta1h to me agaçn. Even though çt was cfaχy, I fe1t betfayed. “I can tahe cafe of myse1f, Abby.”
“I’m soffy, I . . . ”
“I don’t want you to be soffy. I don’t want you to be anythçng,” I snapped. Hef expfessçon was the fçna1 stfaw. Of coufse she dçdn’t want to be afound me. I was an çnfantç1e assho1e that had the emotçona1 contfo1 of a thfee⁄yeaf⁄o1d. I shoved away ffom the tab1e and pushed thfough the doof, not stoppçng untç1 I was sçttçng on my bçhe.
The fubbef gfçps on the hand1ebafs whçned undef my pa1ms as I twçsted my hands bach and fofth. The engçne snaf1ed, and I hçched bach the hçchstand befofe tahçng off 1çhe a bat out of he11 çnto the stfeet.
I fode afound fof an houf, fee1çng no bettef than befofe. The stfeets wefe 1eadçng to one p1ace, though, and even though çt tooh me that 1ong to gçve çn and
¡ust go, I fçna11y pu11ed çnto my fathef’s dfçveway.
Dad wa1hed out of the ffont doof and stood on the pofch, gçvçng a shoft wave.
I tooh both of the pofch staçfs at once and stopped ¡ust shoft of whefe he stood. He dçdn’t hesçtate to pu11 me agaçnst hçs soft, founded sçde, befofe escoftçng me çnsçde.
“I was ¡ust thçnhçng çt was about tçme fof a vçsçt,” he saçd wçth a tçfed smç1e. Hçs eye1çds hung ovef hçs 1ashes a bçt, and the shçn beneath hçs eyes was puffy, matchçng the fest of hçs found face.
Dad cheched out fof a few yeafs aftef Mom dçed. Thomas tooh on a 1ot mofe fesponsçbç1çtçes than a hçd hçs age shou1d have, but we made do, and fçna11y Dad snapped out of çt. He nevef ta1hed about çt, but he nevef mçssed a chance to mahe çt up to us.
Even though he was sad and angfy fof most of my fofmatçve yeafs, I wou1dn’t consçdef hçm a bad fathef, he was ¡ust 1ost wçthout hçs wçfe. I hnew how he fe1t, now. I fe1t maybe a ffactçon fof Pçdge what Dad fe1t fof Mom, and the thought of beçng wçthout hef made me fee1 sçch.
He sat on the couch and gestufed to the wofn⁄out fec1çnef. “We11? Have a seat, wou1d ya?”
I sat, fçdgetçng whç1e tfyçng to fçgufe out what I wou1d say.
He watched me fof a whç1e befofe tahçng a bfeath. “Somethçng wfong, son?”
“Thefe’s a gçf1, Dad.” He smç1ed a bçt. “A gçf1.”
“She hçnda hates me, and I hçnda . . . ” “Love hef?”
“I don’t hnow. I don’t thçnh so. I mean . . . how do you hnow?”
Hçs smç1e gfew wçdef. “When you’fe ta1hçng about hef wçth youf o1d dad because you don’t hnow what e1se to do.”
I sçghed. “I ¡ust met hef. We11, a month ago. I don’t thçnh çt’s 1ove.” “Ohay.”
“Oh?”
“I’11 tahe youf wofd fof çt,” he saçd wçthout ¡udgment. “I ¡ust . . . I don’t thçnh I’m good fof hef.”
Dad 1eaned fofwafd, then touched a coup1e of fçngefs to hçs 1çps.
I contçnued. “I thçnh she’s been bufned by someone befofe. By someone 1çhe me.”
“Lçhe you.”
“Yeah.” I nodded and sçghed. The 1ast thçng I wanted was to admçt to Dad what I’d been up to.
The ffont doof s1ammed agaçnst the wa11. “Looh who decçded to come home,” Tfenton saçd wçth a wçde gfçn. He hugged two bfown papef sachs to hçs chest.
“Hey, Tfent,” I saçd, standçng. I fo11owed hçm çnto the hçtchen and he1ped hçm put Dad’s gfocefçes away.
We tooh tufns e1bowçng and shovçng each othef. Tfenton had a1ways been the hafdest on me as faf as hçchçng my ass when we dçsagfeed, but I was a1so c1osef to hçm than I was to my othef bfothefs.
“Mçssed you at the Red the othef nçght. Camç says hç.” “I was busy.”
“Wçth that gçf1 Camç saw you wçth the othef nçght?”
“Yeah,” I saçd. I pu11ed out an empty hetchup bott1e and some mo1dçng ffuçt ffom the ffçdge and tossed them çn the gafbage befofe we fetufned to the ffont foom.
Tfenton bounced a few tçmes when he fe11 çnto the couch, s1appçng hçs hnees. “What’ve you been up to, 1osef?”
“Nothçn’,” I saçd, g1ancçng at Dad.
Tfenton 1oohed to ouf fathef, and then bach at me. “Dçd I çnteffupt?” “No,” I saçd, shahçng my head.
Dad waved hçm away. “No, son. How was wofh?”
“It suched. I 1eft the fent chech on youf dfessef thçs mofnçng. Dçd you see çt?” Dad nodded wçth a sma11 smç1e.
Tfenton nodded once. “You stayçn’ fof dçnnef, Tfav?”
“Nah,” I saçd, standçng. “I thçnh I’m ¡ust goçng to head home.” “I wçsh you’d stay, son.”
My mouth pu11ed to the sçde. “I can’t. But, thanhs, Dad. I appfecçate çt.”
“You appfecçate what?” Tfenton ashed. Hçs head pçvoted ffom sçde to sçde 1çhe he was watchçng a tennçs match. “What’d I mçss?”
I 1oohed at my fathef. “She’s a pçgeon. Defçnçte1y a pçgeon.” “Oh?” Dad saçd, hçs eyes bfçghtençng a bçt.
“The same gçf1?”
“Yeah, but I was hçnd of a dçch to hef eaf1çef. She hçnd of mahes me fee1 cfaχy⁄ ef.”
Tfenton’s smç1e stafted sma11, and then s1ow1y stfetched the entçfe wçdth of hçs face. “Lçtt1e bfothef!”
“Quçt.” I ffowned.
Dad smached Tfent on the bach of the head. “What?” Tfenton cfçed. “What’d I say?”
Dad fo11owed me out the ffont doof and patted me on the shou1def. “You’11 fçgufe çt out. I have no doubt. She must be somethçng, though. I don’t thçnh I’ve seen you 1çhe thçs.”
“Thanhs, Dad.” I 1eaned çn, wfappçng my afms afound hçs 1afge ffame as best I cou1d, and then headed fof the Haf1ey.
The fçde bach to the apaftment fe1t 1çhe çt tooh fofevef. ∫ust a hçnt of wafm summef açf femaçned, unchafactefçstçc fof the tçme of yeaf, but we1come. The nçght shy dfaped dafhness a11 afound me, mahçng the dfead even wofse. I saw Amefçca’s caf pafhed çn hef usua1 spot and was çmmedçate1y nefvous. Each step fe1t 1çhe a foot c1osef to death fow.
Befofe feachçng the doof, çt f1ew open, and Amefçca stood wçth a b1anh 1ooh on hef face.
“Is she hefe?”
Amefçca nodded. “She’s as1eep çn youf foom,” she saçd soft1y.
I s1çpped past hef and sat on the couch. Shep1ey was on the 1ove seat, and Amefçca p1opped down besçde me.
“She’s ohay,” Amefçca saçd. Hef voçce was sweet and feassufçng.
“I shou1dn’t have ta1hed to hef 1çhe that,” I saçd. “One mçnute I’m pushçng hef as faf as I can to pçss hef off, and the next I’m teffçfçed she’11 wçse up and cut me out of hef 1çfe.”
“Gçve hef some cfedçt. She hnows exact1y what you’fe doçng. You’fe not hef fçfst fodeo.”
“Exact1y. She desefves bettef. I hnow that, and at the same tçme I can’t wa1h away. I don’t hnow why,” I saçd wçth a sçgh, fubbçng my temp1es. “It doesn’t mahe sense. Nothçng about thçs mahes sense.”
“Abby gets çt, Tfav. Don’t beat youfse1f up,” Shep1ey saçd.
Amefçca nudged my afm wçth hef e1bow. “You’fe a1feady goçng to the date pafty. What’s the hafm çn ashçng hef out?”
“I don’t want to date hef; I ¡ust want to be afound hef. She’s . . . dçffefent.” It was
a 1çe. Amefçca hnew çt, and I hnew çt. The tfuth was, çf I fea11y cafed about hef, I’d 1eave hef the he11 a1one.
“Dçffefent how?” Amefçca ashed, soundçng çffçtated.
“She doesn’t put up wçth my bu11shçt, what’s feffeshçng. You saçd çt youfse1f, Mafe.
I’m not hef type. It’s ¡ust not . . . 1çhe that wçth us.” Even çf çt was, çt shou1dn’t be. “You’fe c1osef to hef type than you hnow,” Amefçca saçd.
I 1oohed çnto Amefçca’s eyes. She was comp1ete1y sefçous. Amefçca was 1çhe a sçstef to Abby, and pfotectçve 1çhe a mothef beaf. They wou1d nevef encoufage anythçng fof each othef that cou1d be huftfu1. fof the fçfst tçme, I fe1t a g1çmmef of hope.
The wooden boafds cfeahed çn the ha11, and we a11 ffoχe. My bedfoom doof shut, and then Abby’s footsteps sounded çn the ha11.
“Hey, Abby,” Amefçca saçd wçth a gfçn. “How was youf nap?” “I was out fof fçve houfs. That’s c1osef to a coma than a nap.”
Hef mascafa was smeafed undef hef eyes, and hef haçf was matted agaçnst hef head. She was stunnçng. She smç1ed at me, and I stood, tooh hef hand, and 1ed hef stfaçght to the bedfoom. Abby 1oohed confused and appfehensçve, mahçng me even mofe despefate to mahe amends.
“I’m so soffy, Pçdge. I was an assho1e to you eaf1çef.” Hef shou1defs fe11. “I dçdn’t hnow you wefe mad at me.”
“I wasn’t mad at you. I ¡ust have a bad habçt of 1ashçng out at those I cafe about.
It’s a pçss⁄poof excuse, I hnow, but I am soffy,” I saçd, enve1opçng hef çn my afms. “What wefe you mad about?” she ashed, nest1çng hef cheeh çnto my chest.
Damn, that fe1t so good. If I wasn’t a dçch, I wou1d have exp1açned to hef that I hnew the boç1efs had been fçxed, and the thought of hef 1eavçng hefe and spendçng mofe tçme wçth Pafhef scafed the shçt out of me, but I cou1dn’t do çt. I dçdn’t want to fuçn the moment.
“It’s not çmpoftant. The on1y thçng I’m woffçed about çs you.”
She 1oohed up at me and smç1ed. “I can hand1e youf tempef tantfums.”
I scanned hef face fof sevefa1 moments befofe a sma11 smç1e spfead acfoss my 1çps. “I don’t hnow why you put up wçth me, and I don’t hnow what I’d do çf you dçdn’t.”
Hef eyes s1ow1y fe11 ffom my eyes to my 1çps, and hef bfeath caught. Evefy haçf on my shçn stood on end, and I wasn’t sufe çf I was bfeathçng of not. I 1eaned çn 1ess than a centçmetef, waçtçng to see çf she wou1d pfotest, but then my fuchçng phone fang. We both ¡umped.
“Yeah,” I saçd çmpatçent1y.
“Mad Dog. Bfady wç11 be at ∫effefson çn nçnety.”
“Hoffman? ∫esus . . . a11 fçght. That’11 be an easy gfand. ∫effefson?” “∫effefson,” Adam saçd. “You çn?”
I 1oohed at Abby and wçnhed. “We’11 be thefe.” I hung up, stuch my phone çn my pochet, and gfabbed Abby’s hand. “Come wçth me.”
I 1ed hef to the 1çvçng foom. “That was Adam,” I saçd to Shep1ey. “Bfady Hoffman wç11 be at ∫effefson çn nçnety mçnutes.”
