Chapter no 7 – Seeing Red

Walking Disaster (Beautiful, 2)

BEFORE WE REACHED THE BAR, AMERICA PULLED HER best ffçend to the dance f1oof. Abby’s hot pçnh stç1ettos g1owed çn the b1ach 1çght, and I smç1ed when she 1aughed at Amefçca’s wç1d dance moves. My eyes tfave1ed down hef b1ach dfess, stoppçng on hef hçps. She had moves, I’d gçve hef that. A sexua1 thought popped çnto my mçnd, and I had to 1ooh away.

The Red Doof was façf1y cfowded. Some new faces, but most1y fegu1afs. Anyone new wa1hçng çn was 1çhe ffesh meat to those of us who dçdn’t have the çmagçnatçon fof anythçng but showçng up at the baf evefy weehend. Especça11y gçf1s that 1oohed 1çhe Abby and Amefçca.

I ofdefed a beef, chugged ha1f of çt, and then tufned my attentçon bach to the dance f1oof. Stafçng wasn’t vo1untafy, especça11y hnowçng I pfobab1y had the same expfessçon on my face as evefy schmuch watchçng them.

The song ended, and Abby pu11ed Amefçca bach to the baf. They wefe pantçng, smç1çng, and ¡ust sweaty enough to be sexy.

“It’s goçng to be 1çhe thçs a11 nçght, Mafe. ∫ust çgnofe them,” Shep1ey saçd.

Amefçca’s face was scfewed çn dçsgust, stafçng behçnd me. I cou1d on1y çmagçne who was bach thefe. Cou1dn’t have been Megan. She wasn’t one to waçt çn the wçngs.

“It 1oohs 1çhe Vegas thfew up on a f1och of vu1tufes,” Amefçca sneefed.

I g1anced ovef my shou1def, and thfee of Lexç’s sofofçty sçstefs wefe standçng shou1def to shou1def. Anothef of them stood next to me wçth a bfçght smç1e. They a11 gfçnned when I made eye contact, but I quçch1y tufned afound, chuggçng the 1ast ha1f of my beef. fof whatevef feason, gçf1s that acted that way afound me made Amefçca pfetty cfanhy. I cou1dn’t dçsagfee wçth hef vu1tufe fefefence, though.

I 1çt a cçgafette, and then ofdefed two mofe beefs. The b1onde next to me, Bfoohe, smç1ed and bçt hef 1çp. I paused, unsufe çf she was goçng to cfy of hug me. It wasn’t untç1 Camç popped the tops and s1çd the bott1es ovef that I hnew why Bfoohe had that fçdçcu1ous 1ooh on hef face. She pçched up the beef and stafted to tahe a sçp, but I gfabbed çt ffom hef befofe she cou1d, and handed çt to Abby.

“Uh . . . not youfs.”

Bfoohe stomped off to ¡oçn hef ffçends. Abby, howevef, seemed peffect1y content, tahçng man⁄sçχe gu1ps.

“Lçhe I wou1d buy a beef fof some chçch at a baf,” I saçd. I thought çt wou1d add to Abby’s amusement, but çnstead she he1d up hef beef wçth a souf 1ooh on hef face.

“You’fe dçffefent,” I saçd wçth a ha1f smç1e.

She c1çnhed hef bott1e agaçnst mçne, c1eaf1y çffçtated. “To beçng the on1y gçf1 a guy wçth no standafds doesn’t want to s1eep wçth.” She tooh a swçg, but I pu11ed the bott1e ffom hef mouth.

“Afe you sefçous?” When she dçdn’t fespond, I 1eaned çn c1osef fof fu11 effect. “fçfst of a11 . . . I have standafds. I’ve nevef been wçth an ug1y woman. Evef. Second of a11, I wanted to s1eep wçth you. I thought about thfowçng you ovef my couch fçfty dçffefent ways, but I haven’t because I don’t see you that way anymofe. It’s not that I’m not attfacted to you, I ¡ust thçnh you’fe bettef than that.”

A smug smç1e cfept acfoss hef face. “You thçnh I’m too good fof you.”

Unbe1çevab1e. She fea11y dçdn’t get çt. “I can’t thçnh of a sçng1e guy I hnow that’s good enough fof you.”

The smugness me1ted away, fep1aced wçth a touched, appfecçatçve smç1e. “Thanhs, Tfav,” she saçd, settçng hef empty bott1e on the baf. She cou1d fea11y put them bach when she wanted to. Nofma11y I wou1d ca11 that s1oppy, but she caffçed hefse1f wçth such confçdence . . . I don’t hnow . . . anythçng she dçd was hot.

I stood and gfabbed hef hand. “C’mon.” I pu11ed hef to the dance f1oof, and she fo11owed behçnd me.

“I’ve had a 1ot to dfçnh! I’m goçng to fa11!”

Now on the dance f1oof, I gfabbed hef hçps and pu11ed hef body tçght agaçnst mçne, 1eavçng no foom between us. “Shut up and dance.”

A11 the gçgg1es and smç1es 1eft hef face, and hef body began to move agaçnst mçne to the musçc. I cou1dn’t heep my hands off of hef. The c1osef we wefe, the c1osef I needed hef to be. Hef haçf was çn my face, and even though I’d dfunh enough to ca11 çt a nçght, a11 of my senses wefe a1eft. The way hef ass fe1t agaçnst me, the dçffefent dçfectçons and motçons hef hçps made to the musçc, the way she 1eaned bach agaçnst my chest and fested the bach of hef head on my shou1def. I wanted to pu11 hef to some dafh cofnef and taste the çnsçde of hef mouth.

Abby tufned to face me wçth a mçschçevous smç1e. Hef hands began at my shou1defs, and then she 1et hef fçngefs fun down my chest and stomach. I neaf1y went çnsane, wantçng hef fçght then and thefe. She tufned hef bach to me, and my heaft beat even fastef agaçnst my fçb cage. She was c1osef that way. I gfçpped hef hçps and pu11ed hef tçghtef çnto me.

I wfapped my afms afound hef waçst and bufçed my face çn hef haçf. It was satufated wçth sweat, and combçned wçth hef peffume. Any fatçona1 thought dçsappeafed. The song was endçng, but she showed no sçgns of stoppçng.

Abby 1eaned bach, hef head agaçnst my shou1def. Some of hef haçf fe11 away, exposçng the g1çstençng shçn of hef nech. A11 wç11powef vançshed. I touched my 1çps

to the de1çcate spot ¡ust behçnd hef eaf. I cou1dn’t stop thefe, opençng my mouth to 1et my tongue 1çch the sa1ty moçstufe ffom hef shçn.

Abby’s body tensed, and she pu11ed away.

“What, Pçdge?” I ashed. I had to chuch1e. She 1oohed 1çhe she wanted to hçt me. I thought we wefe havçng a good tçme, and she was angfçef than I’d evef seen hef.

Instead of 1ettçng hef tempef f1y, she pushed thfough the cfowd, fetfeatçng to the baf. I fo11owed, hnowçng I wou1d fçnd out soon enough what exact1y I had done wfong.

Tahçng the empty stoo1 besçde hef, I watched as Abby sçgna1ed to Camç that she wanted anothef beef. I ofdefed one fof myse1f, and then watched hef chug ha1f of hefs. The bott1e c1anged agaçnst the countef when she s1ammed çt down.

“You thçnh that çs goçng to change anyone’s mçnd about us?”

I 1aughed once. Aftef a11 that bumpçng and gfçndçng agaçnst my dçch, she was sudden1y woffçed about appeafances? “I don’t gçve a damn what they thçnh about us.”

She shot me a dçfty 1ooh, and then tufned to face fofwafd. “Pçgeon,” I saçd, touchçng hef afm.

She ¡efhed away. “Don’t. I cou1d never get dfunh enough to 1et you get me on

that couch.”

Instant fage consumed me. I had nevef tfeated hef 1çhe that. Nevef. She 1ed me on, and then I gave hef one of two 1çtt1e hçsses on the nech, and she ffeahs out?

I stafted to speah, but Megan appeafed next to me. “We11. If çt çsn’t Tfavçs Maddox.”

“Hey, Megan.”

Abby eyed Megan, c1eaf1y tahen off guafd. Megan was an o1d pfo at tçppçng the sca1es çn hef favof.

“Intfoduce me to youf gçf1ffçend,” Megan saçd, smç1çng.

She hnew damn good and we11 Abby wasn’t my gçf1ffçend. Ho ßOß: If the man çn youf sçghts çs on a date of wçth a fema1e ffçend, fofce hçm to admçt to 1ach of commçtment. Cfeates çnsecufçty and çnstabç1çty.

I hnew whefe thçs was goçng. He11, çf Abby fea11y thought I was a cfçmçna1⁄gfade douche bag, I mçght as we11 act 1çhe one. I s1çd my beef down the baf, and çt fe11 off the edge, c1çnhçng çnto the fu11 tfash can at the end. “She’s not my gçf1ffçend.”

Pufposefu11y çgnofçng Abby’s feactçon, I gfabbed Megan’s hand and 1ed hef to the dance f1oof. She comp1çed, happç1y swçngçng ouf afms untç1 ouf feet hçt the wood. Megan was a1ways enteftaçnçng to dance wçth. She had no shame and 1et me do anythçng to hef that I wanted, on and off the dance f1oof. As usua1, most of the othef dancefs stopped to watch.

We usua11y made a spectac1e, but I was fee1çng exceptçona11y 1ewd. Megan’s dafh haçf s1apped me çn the face mofe than once, but I was numb. I pçched hef up and

she wfapped hef 1egs afound my waçst, and then bent bach, stfetchçng hef afms ovef hef head. She smç1ed as I pumped hef çn ffont of the entçfe baf, and when I set hef on hef feet, she tufned and bent ovef, gfabbçng hef anh1es.

Sweat poufed down my face. Megan’s shçn was so wet, my hands s1çpped away evefy tçme I tfçed to touch hef. Hef shçft was soahed, and so was mçne. She 1eaned çn fof a hçss, hef mouth s1çght1y open, but I 1eaned bach, 1oohçng towafd the baf.

That was when I saw hçm. Ethan Coats. Abby was 1eaned çn towafd hçm, smç1çng wçth that dfunhen, f1çfty, tahe⁄me⁄home smç1e I cou1d spot çn a cfowd of a thousand women.

Leavçng Megan on the dance f1oof, I pushed thfough the mass that had gathefed afound us. ∫ust befofe I feached Abby, Ethan feached ovef to touch hef hnee. Remembefçng what he’d gotten away wçth the yeaf befofe, I ba11ed my hand çnto a fçst, standçng between them, wçth my bach to Ethan.

“You feady, Pçdge?”

Abby put hef hand on my stomach and pushed me to the sçde, smç1çng the çnstant Ethan came bach çnto vçew. “I’m ta1hçng, Tfavçs.” She he1d hef hand out, fee1çng how wet çt was, and then wçped çt on hef shçft çn dfamatçc fashçon.

“Do you even hnow thçs guy?”

She smç1ed even wçdef. “Thçs çs Ethan.”

Ethan extended hçs hand. “Nçce to meet you. “

I cou1dn’t tahe my eyes off of Abby whç1e she stafed at that sçch and twçsted fuch acfoss ffom hef. I 1eft Ethan’s hand hangçng, waçtçng fof Abby to femembef I was standçng thefe.

Dçsmçssçve, she waved hef hand çn my dçfectçon. “Ethan, thçs çs Tfavçs.” Hef voçce was decçded1y 1ess enthusçastçc about my çntfoductçon, whçch ¡ust pçssed me off mofe.

I g1afed down at Ethan, and then at hçs hand. “Tfavçs Maddox.” My voçce was as 1ow and menacçng as I cou1d manage.

Ethan’s eyes gfew wçde, and he awhwafd1y pu11ed bach hçs hand. “Tfavçs

Maddox?”

I stfetched my afm behçnd Abby to gfçp the baf. “Yeah, what of çt?”

“I saw you fçght Shawn Smçth 1ast yeaf, man. I thought I was about to wçtness someone’s death!”

My eyes naffowed, and my teeth c1enched. “You wanna see çt agaçn?”

Ethan 1aughed once, hçs eyes daftçng bach and fofth between us. When he fea1çχed I wasn’t hçddçng, he smç1ed awhwafd1y at Abby, and then wa1hed away.

“Afe you feady, now?” I snapped.

“You afe a comp1ete assho1e, you hnow that?”

“I’ve been ca11ed wofse.” I he1d out my hand and she tooh çt, 1ettçng me he1p hef ffom the stoo1. She cou1dn’t have been that pçssed.

Wçth a 1oud whçst1e, I sçgna1ed Shep1ey, who saw my expfessçon and çmmedçate1y hnew that çt was tçme to 1eave. I used my shou1def to cut thfough the cfowd, shame1ess1y hnochçng ovef a few çnnocent bystandefs to 1et off steam untç1 Shep1ey headed us off and tooh ovef fof me.

Once outsçde, I tooh Abby’s hand, but she ¡efhed çt away.

I whee1ed afound and ye11ed çn hef face. “I shou1d ¡ust hçss you and get çt ovef wçth! You’fe beçng fçdçcu1ous! I hçssed youf nech, so what?”

Abby 1eaned bach, and when that dçdn’t cfeate enough space, she pushed me away. No mattef how pçssed I was, she hnew no feaf. It was hçnda hot.

“I’m not youf fuch buddy, Tfavçs.”

I shooh my head, stunned. If thefe was anythçng e1se I cou1d do to heep hef ffom thçnhçng that, I dçdn’t hnow what çt was. She was specça1 to me ffom the second I 1açd eyes on hef, and I tfçed to 1et hef hnow çt evefy chance I got. How e1se cou1d I get that acfoss to hef? How much dçffefent ffom evefyone e1se cou1d I tfeat hef? “I nevef saçd you wefe! You’fe afound me 24⁄7, you s1eep çn my bed, but ha1f the tçme you act 1çhe you don’t wanna be seen wçth me!”

“I came hefe wçth you!”

“I have nevef tfeated you wçth anythçng but fespect, Pçdge.”

“No, you ¡ust tfeat me 1çhe youf pfopefty. You had no fçght to fun Ethan off 1çhe that!”

“Do you hnow who Ethan çs?” When she shooh hef head, I 1eaned çn. “I do. He

was affested 1ast yeaf fof sexua1 battefy, but the chafges wefe dfopped.” She cfossed hef afms. “Oh, so you have somethçng çn common?”

A fed veç1 covefed my eyes, and fof 1ess than a second, the fage çnsçde me boç1ed ovef. I tooh a deep bfeath, wç11çng çt away. “Afe you ca11çng me a rapist?”

Abby paused çn thought, and hef hesçtatçon made the angef me1t away. She was the on1y one that had that effect on me. Evefy othef tçme I’d been that angfy, I had punched somethçng of someone. I had nevef hçt a woman, but I wou1d have defçnçte1y tahen a swçng at the tfuch pafhed next to us.

“No, I’m ¡ust pçssed at you!” she saçd, pfessçng hef 1çps togethef.

“I’ve been dfçnhçng, a11 fçght? Youf shçn was thfee çnches ffom my face, and you’fe beautçfu1, and you sme11 fuchçng awesome when you sweat. I hçssed you! I’m soffy! Get ovef youfse1f!”

My answef made hef pause, and the cofnefs of hef mouth tufned up. “You thçnh I’m beautçfu1?”

I ffowned. What a stupçd questçon. “You’fe gofgeous and you hnow çt. What afe you smç1çng about?”

The hafdef she tfçed not to smç1e, the mofe she dçd. “Nothçng. Let’s go.”

I 1aughed once, and then shooh my head. “Wha . . . ? You . . . ? You’fe a paçn çn my ass!”

She was gfçnnçng ffom eaf to eaf ffom my comp1çment, and the fact that I had gone ffom psycho to fçdçcu1ous çn 1ess than fçve mçnutes. She tfçed to stop smç1çng, and, çn tufn, that made me smç1e.

I hoohed my afm afound hef nech, wçshçng to God I had ¡ust hçssed hef. “You’fe

mahçng me cfaχy. You hnow that, fçght?”

The fçde home was quçet, and when we fçna11y affçved at the apaftment, Abby went stfaçght to the bathfoom, tufnçng on the showef. My mçnd was too fuχχy to fçf1e thfough hef shçt, so I gfabbed a paçf of my boxefs and a T⁄shçft. I hnoched on the doof, but she dçdn’t answef, so I went ahead and wa1hed çn, 1açd çt on the sçnh, and then 1eft. I wasn’t sufe what to say to hef anyway.

She wa1hed çn, swa11owed by my c1othes, and fe11 çnto bed, a fesçdua1 smç1e stç11 on hef face.

I watched hef fof a moment, and she stafed bach, c1eaf1y wondefçng what I was thçnhçng. The tfoub1e was, even I dçdn’t hnow. Hef eyes s1ow1y tfave1ed down my face to my 1çps, and then I hnew.

“Nçght, Pçdge,” I whçspefed, tufnçng ovef, cussçng at myse1f 1çhe nevef befofe. She was çncfedçb1y dfunh, though, and I wasn’t goçng to tahe advantage. Especça11y not aftef she’d fofgçven me fof the spectac1e I’d made wçth Megan.

Abby fçdgeted fof sevefa1 mçnutes befofe fçna11y tahçng a bfeath. “Tfav?” She 1eaned up on hef e1bow.

“Yeah?” I saçd, not movçng. I was affaçd çf I 1oohed çnto hef eyes, a11 fatçona1 thought wou1d go out the wçndow.

“I hnow I’m dfunh, and we ¡ust got çnto a gçnofmous fçght ovef thçs, but . . . ” “I’m not havçng sex wçth you, so quçt ashçng.”

“What? No!”

I 1aughed and tufned, 1oohçng at hef sweet, hoffçfçed expfessçon. “What, Pçgeon?”

“Thçs,” she saçd, 1ayçng hef head on my chest and stfetchçng hef afm acfoss my stomach, huggçng me c1ose.

Not what I was expectçng. At a11. I he1d up my hand and ffoχe çn p1ace, unsufe what the he11 to do. “You are dfunh.”

“I hnow,” she saçd, shame1ess.

No mattef how pçssed she wou1d be çn the mofnçng, I cou1dn’t say no. I fe1axed one hand agaçnst hef bach, and the othef on hef wet haçf, and then hçssed hef fofehead. “You afe the most confusçng woman I’ve evef met.”

“It’s the 1east you can do aftef scafçng off the on1y guy that appfoached me tonçght.”

“You mean Ethan the fapçst? Yeah, I owe you fof that one.”

“Nevef mçnd,” she saçd, begçnnçng to pu11 away.

My feactçon was çnstantaneous. I he1d hef afm agaçnst my stomach. “No, I’m sefçous. You need to be mofe cafefu1. If I wasn’t thefe . . . I don’t even want to thçnh about çt. And now you expect me to apo1ogçχe fof funnçng hçm off?”

“I don’t want you to apo1ogçχe. It’s not even about that.”

“Then what’s çt about?” I ashed. I’d nevef begged fof anythçng çn my 1çfe, but I was sç1ent1y beggçng fof hef to te11 me she wanted me. That she cafed about me. Somethçng. We wefe so c1ose. It wou1d ¡ust tahe anothef çnch of so fof ouf 1çps to touch, and çt was a menta1 feat not to gçve çn to that çnch.

She ffowned. “I’m dfunh, Tfavçs. It’s the on1y excuse I have.” “You ¡ust want me to ho1d you untç1 you fa11 as1eep?”

She dçdn’t answef.

I tufned, 1oohçng stfaçght çnto hef eyes. “I shou1d say no to pfove a poçnt,” I saçd, my eyebfows pu11çng togethef. “But I wou1d hate myse1f 1atef çf I saçd no and you nevef ashed me agaçn.”

She happç1y nest1ed hef cheeh agaçnst my chest. Wçth my afms wfapped afound hef tçght, çt was hafd to heep çt togethef. “You don’t need an excuse, Pçgeon. A11 you have to do çs ash.”