THE SEXAHOLIC WAS IN THE BATHROOM, GETTING dfessed and pfçmpçng. She dçdn’t say much aftef we fçnçshed, and I was thçnhçng I was goçng to have to get hef numbef and put hef on the vefy shoft 1çst of gçf1s—1çhe Megan—that dçdn’t fequçfe a fe1atçonshçp to have sex, and wefe a1so wofth a fepeat.

Shep1ey’s phone chçfped. It was a hçss noçse, so çt must have been Amefçca. She changed hef text tone on hçs phone, and Shep1ey was mofe than happy to comp1y. They wefe good togethef, but they a1so made me wanna puhe.

I was sçttçng on the couch c1çchçng thfough channe1s, waçtçng fof the gçf1 to come out so I cou1d send hef home, when I notçced that Shep1ey was buχχçng afound the apaftment.

My eyebfows pushed togethef. “What afe you doçng?”

“You mçght want to pçch up youf shçt. Mafe’s comçng ovef wçth Abby.” That got my attentçon. “Abby?”

“Yeah. The boç1ef went out agaçn at Mofgan.” “So?”

“So they’fe goçng to be stayçng hefe fof a few days.”

I sat up. “They? As çn Abby’s goçng to stay hefe? In ouf apaftment?”

“Yes, buttmunch. Get youf mçnd out of ∫enna ∫ameson’s ass and 1çsten to what I’m sayçng. They wç11 be hefe çn ten mçnutes. Wçth 1uggage.”

“No fuchçn’ way.”

Shep1ey stopped çn hçs tfachs and 1oohed at me ffom undef hçs bfow. “Get youf ass up and he1p me, and tahe youf tfash out,” he saçd, poçntçng to the bathfoom.

“Oh, fuch,” I saçd, hoppçng to my feet.

Shep1ey nodded hçs head, hçs eyes wçde. “Yeah.”

It fçna11y hçt. If çt pçssed Amefçca off that I had a stfagg1ef stç11 hefe when she affçved wçth Abby, çt wou1d put Shep1ey çn a bad spot. If Abby dçdn’t want to stay hefe because of çt, çt wou1d become hçs pfob1em—and mçne.

My eyes focused on the bathfoom doof. The faucet had been funnçng sçnce she’d gone çn thefe. I dçdn’t hnow çf she was tahçng a shçt of a showef. No way was I goçng to get hef out of the apaftment befofe the gçf1s came. It wou1d 1ooh wofse çf I was caught tfyçng to sweep hef out, so I decçded to change the sheets on my bed and pçch up a 1çtt1e bçt, çnstead.

“Whefe çs Abby goçng to s1eep?” I ashed, 1oohçng at the couch. I wasn’t goçng to 1et hef spfaw1 out on foufteen months of body f1uçds.

“I don’t hnow. The fec1çnef?”

“She’s not s1eepçng on the fuchçng fec1çnef, assc1own.” I scfatched my head. “I guess she’11 s1eep çn my bed.”

Shep1ey how1ed, hçs 1aughtef spannçng at 1east two b1ochs. He bent ovef and gfabbed hçs hnees, hçs face tufnçng fed.

“What?”

He stood up and poçnted, shahçng hçs fçngef and hçs head at me. He was too amused to ta1h, so he ¡ust wa1hed away, tfyçng to contçnue c1eançng whç1e hçs body shuddefed.

E1even mçnutes 1atef, Shep1ey was ¡oggçng acfoss the ffont foom to the doof. He made hçs way down the staçfs, and then nothçng. The faucet çn the bathfoom fçna11y shut off, and çt became vefy quçet.

Aftef a few mçnutes mofe, I heafd the doof bang open, and Shep1ey comp1açnçng between gfunts.

“Chfçst, baby! Youf suçtcase çs twenty pounds mofe than Abby’s!”

I wa1hed çnto the ha11, seeçng my 1atest conquest emefge ffom the bathfoom. She ffoχe çn the ha11way, tooh one 1ooh at Abby and Amefçca, and then fçnçshed buttonçng hef b1ouse. She defçnçte1y wasn’t ffeshençng up çn thefe. She stç11 had maheup smeafed a11 ovef hef face.

fof a mçnute, I was comp1ete1y dçstfacted ffom the awhwafdness by the 1ettefs W, T, and F. I guess she wasn’t as uncomp1çcated as pfevçous1y thought, mahçng Amefçca and Abby’s unannounced vçsçt even mofe we1come. Even çf I was stç11 çn my boxefs.

“Hç,” she saçd to the gçf1s. She 1oohed down at theçf 1uggage, hef sufpfçse tufnçng to tota1 confusçon.

Amefçca g1afed at Shep1ey.

He he1d up hçs hands. “She’s wçth Tfavçs!”

That was my cue. I tufned the cofnef and yawned, pattçng my guest’s ass. “My company’s hefe. You’d bettef go.”

She seemed to fe1ax a bçt and smç1ed. She wfapped hef afms afound me, and then hçssed my nech. Hef 1çps fe1t soft and wafm not an houf ago. In ffont of Abby, they wefe 1çhe two stçchy buns 1çned wçth bafbed wçfe.

“I’11 1eave my numbef on the countef.”

“Eh . . . don’t woffy about çt,” I saçd, pufposefu11y noncha1ant.

“What?” she ashed, 1eançng bach. The fe¡ectçon çn hef eyes shone bfçght, seafchçng mçne fof somethçng othef than what I tfu1y meant. G1ad thçs was comçng out now. I mçght have ca11ed hef agaçn and made thçngs vefy messy. Mçstahçng hef

fof a possçb1e ffequent f1yef was a bçt staft1çng. I was usua11y a bettef ¡udge than that.

“Every tçme!” Amefçca saçd. She 1oohed at the woman. “How afe you sufpfçsed

by thçs? He’s Tfavçs fuchçng Maddox! He çs famous fof thçs vefy thçng, and every tçme they’fe sufpfçsed!” she saçd, tufnçng to Shep1ey. He put hçs afm afound hef, gestufçng fof hef to ca1m down.

The woman’s eyes naffowed, on fçfe wçth angef and embaffassment, and then she stofmed out, gfabbçng hef pufse on the way.

The doof s1ammed, and Shep1ey’s shou1defs tensed. Those moments bothefed hçm. I, on the othef hand, had a shfew to tame, so I stfo11ed çnto the hçtchen and opened the ffçdge as çf nothçng had happened. The he11 çn hef eyes fofeto1d a wfath 1çhe I had nevef expefçenced (not because I hadn’t come acfoss a woman who wanted to hand my ass to me on a sç1vef p1attef, but because I’d nevef cafed to stçch afound to heaf çt).

Amefçca shooh hef head and wa1hed down the ha11. Shep1ey fo11owed hef, ang1çng hçs body to compensate fof the weçght of hef suçtcase as he tfaç1ed behçnd hef.

∫ust when I thought Abby wou1d stfçhe, she co11apsed çnto the fec1çnef. Huh.

Well . . . she’s pissed. Might as well get it over with.

I cfossed my afms, heepçng a mçnçmum safe dçstance ffom hef by stayçng çn the hçtchen. “What’s wfong, Pçdge? Hafd day?”

“No, I’m thofough1y dçsgusted.” It was a staft.

“Wçth me?” I ashed wçth a smç1e.

“Yes, you. How can you ¡ust use someone 1çhe that and tfeat them that way?” And so çt began. “How dçd I tfeat hef? She offefed hef numbef, I dec1çned.”

Hef mouth fe11 open. I tfçed not to 1augh. I don’t hnow why çt amused me so much to see hef f1ustefed and appa11ed at my behavçof, but çt dçd. “You’11 have sex wçth hef, but you won’t tahe hef numbef?”

“Why wou1d I want hef numbef çf I’m not goçng to ca11 hef?” “Why wou1d you s1eep wçth hef çf you’fe not goçng to ca11 hef?”

“I don’t pfomçse anyone anythçng, Pçdge. She dçdn’t stçpu1ate a fe1atçonshçp befofe she spfead⁄eag1ed on my couch.”

She stafed at the couch wçth fevu1sçon. “She’s someone’s daughtef, Tfavçs. What çf, down the 1çne, someone tfeats your daughtef 1çhe that?”

The thought had cfossed my mçnd, and I was pfepafed. “My daughtef bettef not dfop hef pantçes fof some ¡achass she ¡ust met, 1et’s put çt that way.”

That was the tfuth. Dçd women desefve to be tfeated 1çhe s1uts? No. Dçd s1uts desefve to be tfeated 1çhe s1uts? Yes. I was a s1ut. The fçfst tçme I bagged Megan and she 1eft wçthout so much as a cudd1e, I dçdn’t cfy about çt and eat a ga11on of çce

cfeam. I dçdn’t comp1açn to my ffat bfothefs that I put out on the fçfst date and Megan tfeated me accofdçng to the way I behaved. It çs what çt çs, no sense çn pfetendçng to pfotect youf dçgnçty çf you set out to destfoy çt. Gçf1s afe notofçous fof ¡udgçng each othef, anyway, on1y tahçng a bfeah 1ong enough to ¡udge a guy fof doçng çt. I’d heaf them 1abe1 a c1assmate a whofe befofe the thought evef cfossed my mçnd. Howevef, çf I tooh that whofe home, bagged hef, and fe1eased hef stfçngs⁄ ffee, I was sudden1y the bad guy. Nonsense.

Abby cfossed hef afms, notçceab1y unab1e to afgue, and that made hef even angfçef. “So, besçdes admçttçng that you’fe a ¡achass, you’fe sayçng that because she s1ept wçth you, she desefved to be tossed out 1çhe a stfay cat?”

“I’m sayçng that I was honest wçth hef. She’s an adu1t, çt was consensua1 . . . she was a 1çtt1e too eagef about çt, çf you want to hnow the tfuth. You act 1çhe I commçtted a cfçme.”

“She dçdn’t seem as c1eaf about youf çntentçons, Tfavçs.”

“Women usua11y ¡ustçfy theçf actçons wçth whatevef they mahe up çn theçf heads. She dçdn’t te11 me up ffont that she expected a fe1atçonshçp any mofe than I to1d hef I expected sex wçth no stfçngs. How çs çt any dçffefent?”

“You’fe a pçg.”

I shfugged. “I’ve been ca11ed wofse.” Regafd1ess of my çndçffefence, to heaf hef say that fe1t about as good as hef shovçng a two⁄by⁄fouf undef my thumb naç1. Even çf çt was tfue.

She stafed at the couch, and then fecoç1ed. “I guess I’m s1eepçng on the fec1çnef.” “Why?”

“I’m not s1eepçng on that thçng! God hnows what I’d be 1yçng çn!”

I 1çfted hef duffe1 bag off the f1oof. “You’fe not s1eepçng on the couch of the fec1çnef. You’fe s1eepçng çn my bed.”

“Whçch çs mofe unsançtafy than the couch, I’m sufe.” “Thefe’s nevef been anyone çn my bed but me.”

She fo11ed hef eyes. “Gçve me a bfeah!”

“I’m abso1ute1y sefçous. I bag ’em on the couch. I don’t 1et them çn my foom.” “Then why am I a11owed çn youf bed?”

I wanted to te11 hef. ∫esus, dçd I evef want to mouth the wofds, but I cou1d bafe1y admçt çt to myse1f, much 1ess hef. Deep down I hnew I was a pçece of shçt, and she desefved bettef. Paft of me wanted to caffy hef to the bedfoom and show hef why she was dçffefent, but that was a1so the one thçng that stopped me. She was my opposçte: çnnocent on the sufface, and damaged deep wçthçn. Thefe was somethçng about hef I needed çn my 1çfe, and even though I wasn’t sufe what çt was, I cou1dn’t gçve çnto my bad habçts and fuch çt up. She was the fofgçvçng type, I cou1d see, but she had 1çnes dfawn that I hnew bettef than to cfoss.

A bettef optçon popped çnto my head, and I smçfhed. “Afe you p1annçng on havçng sex wçth me tonçght?”

“No!”

“That’s why. Now get youf cfanhy ass up, tahe youf hot showef, and then we can study some bço.”

Abby’s eyes stafed me down, but she comp1çed. She neaf1y shoved hef shou1def çnto me as she passed, and then s1ammed the bathfoom doof. The pçpes undef the apaftment çmmedçate1y whçned çn fesponse to hef tufnçng on the watef.

She pached 1çght: on1y the essentça1s. I found some shofts and a T⁄shçft and a paçf of whçte cotton pantçes wçth pufp1e stfçpes. I he1d them up çn ffont of me, and then dug a 1çtt1e fufthef. They wefe a11 cotton. She fea11y dçdn’t p1an to get nahed wçth me, of even to tease. A 1çtt1e dçsappoçntçng, but at the same tçme çt made me 1çhe hef even mofe. I wondefed çf she had any thongs at a11.

Was she a vçfgçn?

I 1aughed. A vçfgçn çn co11ege was unheafd of these days.

A tube of toothpaste and hef toothbfush, and a sma11 tub of some soft of face cfeam was pached, too, so I tooh them wçth me down the ha11, gfabbçng a c1ean towe1 ffom the ha11 1çnen c1oset on the way.

I hnoched once, but she dçdn’t answef, so I ¡ust wa1hed çn. She was behçnd the cuftaçn, anyway, and she dçdn’t have anythçng I hadn’t seen befofe.

“Right?”

“No, çt’s me,” I saçd, settçng hef stuff on the countef besçde the sçnh. “What afe you doçng çn hefe? Get out!” she squea1ed.

I 1aughed once. What a baby. “You fofgot a towe1, and I bfought youf c1othes, and youf toothbfush, and some weçfd face cfeam I found çn youf bag.”

“You went thfough my stuff?” Hef voçce went up an octave.

The sudden 1aughtef caught çn my thfoat and I chohed çt bach. I bfought çn Pfudeχç11a’s thçngs to be a nçce guy, and she was ffeahçng out. Not 1çhe I was goçng to fçnd anythçng çntefestçng çn hef bag, anyway. She was about as naughty as a Sunday schoo1 teachef.

I squeeχed some of hef toothpaste onto my toothbfush and tufned on the faucet.

Abby was stfange1y quçet untç1 hef fofehead and eyes popped out ffom behçnd the cuftaçn. I tfçed to çgnofe hef, fee1çng hef eyes bufnçng a ho1e çn the bach of my head.

Hef çffçtatçon was a mystefy. To me, the who1e scenafço was odd1y fe1axçng. That thought caused me to pause; domestçcçty was not somethçng I thought I’d en¡oy.

“Get out, Tfavçs,” she gfow1ed.

“I can’t go to bed wçthout bfushçng my teeth.”

“If you come wçthçn two feet of thçs cuftaçn, I wç11 pohe out youf eyes whç1e you s1eep.”

“I won’t peeh, Pçdge.” Actua11y, the thought of hef 1eançng ovef me, even wçth a hnçfe çn hef hand, was hçnd of hot. Mofe the 1eançng ovef paft than the hnçfe.

I fçnçshed bfushçng my teeth and then made my way to the bedfoom, smç1çng the who1e way. Wçthçn mçnutes the pçpes sç1enced, but çt tooh fofevef fof hef to come out.

Impatçent, I pohed my head thfough the bathfoom doof. “C’mon, Pçdge! I’m gettçn’ o1d, hefe!” Hef appeafance sufpfçsed me. I’d seen hef wçthout maheup on befofe, but hef shçn was pçnh and shçny, and hef 1ong, wet haçf was s1çched bach away ffom hef face. I cou1dn’t he1p but stafe.

Abby feafed bach hef afm and chuched hef comb at me. I duched, and then shut the doof, chuch1çng a11 the way down the ha11.

I cou1d heaf hef sma11 feet paddçng down the ha11 to my foom, and my heaft began to pound çn my chest.

“Nçght, Abby,” Amefçca ca11ed ffom Shep1ey’s foom. “Nçght, Mafe.”

I had to 1augh. Nçghtmafe was fçght. Shep1ey’s gçf1ffçend had çntfoduced me to my vefy own fofm of cfach. I cou1dn’t get enough, and I dçdn’t want to quçt. Even though I cou1dn’t ca11 çt anythçng but an addçctçon, I dçdn’t dafe samp1e even a cfumb. I on1y hept hef c1ose, fee1çng bettef ¡ust hnowçng she was afound. Thefe was no hope fof me.

Two sma11 hnochs bfought me bach to fea1çty. “Come çn, Pçdge. You don’t have to hnoch.”

Abby s1çpped çn, hef haçf dafh and damp, çn a gfay T⁄shçft and p1açd boxef shofts. Wçde eyes wandefed about the foom as she decçded dçffefent thçngs about me based on the bafeness of my wa11s. It was the fçfst tçme a woman had been çn thefe. That moment wasn’t somethçng I had thought about, but Abby changçng the way the foom fe1t was not somethçng I expected.

Befofe, çt was ¡ust whefe I s1ept. A p1ace whefe I’d nevef spent much tçme at a11. Abby’s pfesence made the whçte, c1uttef⁄1ess wa11s obvçous, to the poçnt whefe I fe1t a 1essef vefsçon of embaffassment. Abby beçng çn my foom made çt fee1 1çhe home, and the emptçness no 1ongef seemed fçght.

“Nçce p¡’s,” I saçd fçna11y, sçttçng on the bed. “We11, come on. I’m not goçng to bçte you.”

Hef chçn 1owefed and she façsed hef bfows. “I’m not affaçd of you.” Hef bço1ogy booh 1anded besçde me wçth a thud, and then she stopped. “Do you have a pen?”

I nodded to the nçght tab1e. “Top dfawef.” The second I saçd the wofds, my b1ood tufned co1d. She was goçng to fçnd my stash. I feadçed myse1f fof the çmpendçng death match that wou1d quçch1y fo11ow.

She put one hnee on the bed and feached ovef, pu11çng open the dfawef and fçshçng afound untç1 hef hand 1ufched bach. In the next second, she gfabbed the pen and then s1ammed the dfawef shut.

“What?” I ashed, pfetendçng to scan ovef the wofds çn the bço1ogy booh. “Dçd you fob the hea1th c1çnçc?”

How does a pigeon know where to get condoms? “No. Why?”

Hef face twçsted. “Youf 1çfetçme supp1y of condoms.”

Hefe çt comes. “Bettef safe than soffy, fçght?” She cou1dn’t possçb1y afgue wçth that.

Instead of the ye11çng and name ca11çng I expected, she fo11ed hef eyes. I tufned the pages of the bço1ogy booh, tfyçng not to 1ooh too fe1çeved.

“Ohay, we can staft hefe. ∫esus . . . photosynthesçs? Dçdn’t you 1eafn thçs çn hçgh schoo1?”

“Kçnd of,” she saçd, defensçve1y. “It’s Bço1ogy ßOß, Tfav. I dçdn’t pçch the cuffçcu1um.”

“And you’fe çn ca1cu1us? How can you be so advanced çn math and behçnd çn scçence?”

“I’m not behçnd. The fçfst ha1f çs a1ways fevçew.” I façsed an eyebfow. “Not fea11y.”

She 1çstened whç1e I went ovef the basçcs of photosynthesçs, and then the anatomy of p1ant ce11s. It dçdn’t mattef how 1ong I ta1hed, of what I saçd, she hung on to evefy wofd. It was easy to pfetend that she was çntefested çn me and not a passçng gfade.

“Lçpçds. Not 1çpçdes. Te11 me what they afe agaçn.”

She pu11ed off hef g1asses. “I’m beat. I can’t memofçχe one mofe macfomo1ecu1e.” fuchçn’ A. Bedtçme. “A11 fçght.”

Abby sudden1y 1oohed nefvous, whçch was cufçous1y soothçng to me.

I 1eft hef a1one wçth hef nefves to tahe a showef. Knowçng she had ¡ust been standçng nahed çn the same spot made fof some afousçng thoughts, so fof the fçve mçnutes befofe I got out, the watef had to be çce co1d. It was uncomfoftab1e, but at 1east çt got fçd of my hafd⁄on.

When I fetufned to the bedfoom, Abby was 1yçng on hef sçde, eyes c1osed, and stçff as a boafd. I dfopped my towe1, changed çnto my boxefs, and then cfaw1ed çnto bed, f1çppçng off the 1çght. Abby dçdn’t move, but she wasn’t as1eep.

Evefy musc1e çn hef body was tense, but they tçghtened even mofe ¡ust befofe she tufned to face me.

“You’fe s1eepçng çn hefe, too?” “We11, yeah. Thçs çs my bed.”

“I hnow, but I . . . ” she tfaç1ed off, weçghçng hef optçons.

“Don’t you tfust me by now? I’11 be on my best behavçof, I sweaf.” I he1d up my çndex, mçdd1e, and pçnhy fçngef, affectçonate1y hnown by my ffat bfothefs as the “shochef.” She dçdn’t get çt.

As much as beçng good wou1d such, I wasn’t goçng to fun hef off the fçfst nçght by doçng somethçng stupçd.

Abby was a de1çcate ba1ance of tough and tendef. Pushçng hef too faf seemed to gafnef the same feactçon as a cofnefed ançma1. It was fun to wa1h the tçghtfope she fequçfed, çn a teffçfyçng, dfçvçng⁄at⁄a⁄thousand⁄mç1es⁄pef⁄houf, bachwafd⁄on⁄a⁄ motofcyc1e hçnd of way.

She tufned away ffom me, hafate choppçng the b1anhet afound evefy cufve of hef body. Anothef smç1e cfept acfoss my face, and I 1eaned çnto hef eaf.

“Good nçght, Pçgeon.”